Matt D
Topic Author
Posts: 8907
Joined: Fri Nov 19, 1999 6:00 am

Ye Olde Eye Test

Thu Dec 20, 2001 9:13 am

I swear I'm not making this up.

One of my roomates adamantly swears that the best way to tell if a woman is "safe" for, shall we say, an intimate encounter is the "eye test".

The way he explains it to me is that you put your finger in her "private" region, twirl it around a bit, so that whatever juices and residue she emits will be on your finger.

Then you gently insert the soiled finger in your eye. If there is a burning or stinging sensation, then best not put certain other body parts into her. On the other hand, if there is no burning/stinging sensation, then she is "clean".

He claims that it's better to have a "contaminated" eye that can be cured with some Visine drops then to get "contaminated" somwhere else, and the treatment involves certain prescription-only medication.

I tell him that that is complete and utter BS.

But he insists that this is what he does.

So I told him I would ask about it and see what kind of replies I get.
Posts: 3592
Joined: Wed Aug 29, 2001 12:29 am

RE: Ye Olde Eye Test

Thu Dec 20, 2001 9:33 am

At first, I thought what you meant by an "eye test" was looking at a woman's left hand for a wedding or engagement ring...never mind.

BTW, that would be my "eye test".
Ain't I a stinker?
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Joined: Mon May 08, 2000 11:19 am

RE: Ye Olde Eye Test

Thu Dec 20, 2001 10:24 am

Who is your friend? Steve Garvey?
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Joined: Fri Oct 29, 1999 1:04 pm

RE: Ye Olde Eye Test

Thu Dec 20, 2001 10:49 am

well lets see now ya ever thought of using ummmm whats that called... hold on a sec... ahhh yes a condom?? might make it easier then rubbing that crap in your eye. and if your worried the condom will break and she is dirty then "DONT DO IT". simple as that. no need for that eye test my friend!

Posts: 2023
Joined: Sat Feb 17, 2001 2:08 pm

RE: Ye Olde Eye Test

Thu Dec 20, 2001 12:11 pm

I used to date a doctor who insisted he'd know if he was ever with a girl who had HIV because vaginal dryness was an early sign of HIV infection. However, I ALSO knew a lady who was a planned parenthood counselor who educated young people on birth control and STDs. The verdict? Utter bullsh**!!!!

Now the thing about the eye makes me think of something a gay friend once told me. He got a very bad eye infection because somebody had shot one in his eye. I hope this can't happen from a woman or your friend will be in trouble.
Posts: 1867
Joined: Fri Nov 23, 2007 10:23 pm

RE: Ye Olde Eye Test

Fri Dec 21, 2001 4:40 am

Oh... umm... with my history of eye sensitivity and infections, I'd better not do any of the stuff.
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Joined: Sun Oct 29, 2006 9:19 am

RE: Ye Olde Eye Test

Fri Dec 21, 2001 4:51 am

Your friend hasn't gone blind yet?????
Posts: 2780
Joined: Fri Sep 14, 2001 7:47 am

RE: Ye Olde Eye Test

Fri Dec 21, 2001 5:41 pm

Sort of gives new meaning to the phrase You'll go blind!
What is this guy - NUTZ?! Haven't he ever heard of litmus paper? Just dip a stip and read the colour chart.
Hmmmm.... wonder if that would really work, tho.
Nevermind political correctness - Envision using your turn signals!

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