I swear I'm not making this up.
One of my roomates adamantly swears that the best way to tell if a woman is "safe" for, shall we say, an intimate encounter is the "eye test".
The way he explains it to me is that you put your finger in her "private" region, twirl it around a bit, so that whatever juices and residue she emits will be on your finger.
Then you gently insert the soiled finger in your eye. If there is a burning or stinging sensation, then best not put certain other body parts into her. On the other hand, if there is no burning/stinging sensation, then she is "clean".
He claims that it's better to have a "contaminated" eye that can be cured with some Visine drops then to get "contaminated" somwhere else, and the treatment involves certain prescription-only medication.
I tell him that that is complete and utter BS.
But he insists that this is what he does.
So I told him I would ask about it and see what kind of replies I get.