Excellent article below:
LEADS TO WINNING
Sat Feb 16, 4:41 AM ET
By ANDREA PEYSER
I COULDN'T skate a lutz to save my kneecaps, but I'm a world-class whiner.
So I demand an Olympic gold medal. And why not? This approach worked for the Canadian pairs figure skaters, a team that personifies the adage: If at first you don't succeed, cry, cry again.
In a dazzling performance, the Canadians yesterday beat stiff competition to win top marks in Olympic Moaning.
Until the last, mewling, foot-stamping second, the Canadians were neck-and-neck in the category with France's answer to Enron, figure-skating judge Marie-Reine Le Gougne.
To explain why she threw her vote in the pairs-skating finals to the Russian team, ruining Canada's chances for gold, Le Gougne cried that she was the victim of "manipulation." If there's one thing I can't stand more than a sniveling Canadian, it's a cowering Frenchwoman.
Quel mess, sports fans! These Olympic games are being interrupted by a little corruption. This is news?
We haven't seen such pathetic behavior at a Winter Olympics since knee-whacked ice babe Nancy Kerrigan used her fame to ridicule fellow skater Oksana Baiul for being a crybaby.
Yesterday, the International Olympic Committee caved in to pressure and awarded Canada a gold medal. Even before the announcement, Canadian Olympic Association president Mike Chambers said medal-makers assured him that Canada's silver medallion could be overlaid with gold within 24 hours!
The IOC must have thought this would calm things. But then, its members probably have never confronted 1,000 angry Russians freezing their axels off in alcohol-scarce Utah.
Awarding medals by coup solves nothing. Now, the IOC has no incentive to clean up its shabby shop when it can resolve conflicts by changing the color of a medal.
And this sets a rotten precedent.
What if fans don't like an umpire's call? Should two teams be entitled to win a World Series?
What if your kid spells a word wrong on the spelling bee? Try shouting that the spellings were culturally biased!
If the Canadians had any class, they'd refuse the gold. Ages ago, King Solomon settled a dispute over a baby by offering to split the infant in half. Then he gave the child to the parent who declined the offer.
Good thing gold medals aren't babies. If they were, Salt Lake City would be swimming in blood.
The only thing you should feel when shooting a terrorist: Recoil.