True enough Scotty. Although, it should be noted that the Scots nutcases are clearly superior to the English nutcases as there are far more of them in said government. One of them has taken it to a new level and has managed to convince everyone that he is really English. With such a successful grounding he has gone on to become Prime Minister. Wow.
As a result, without the English being aware of what was happening, the canny Scots have turned England into a colony of Scotland. At long last, the English have woken, and the Englsih bravehearts are revolting.
The English are now reduced to fighting back the only way they know how. We sent an advance party of fifteen up to Edinburgh to try to damage an outpost at Murrayfield. Reports from the front suggest that the English met little opposition. Other forces are also building, the elite force of eleven (with a round ball) under King Sven of Sweden have been developing new and devious tactics and are expected to annihilate all Scots opposition. The impending battle has been delayed whilst they visit Japan and Korea in what many see as a misguided attempt to take over the world outside Scotland.
But wait. The devilish Scots are not finished! They have distracted the English by taking a hitherto unknown battleplan named Project Curling and drawing the brave English into their web. Reports suggest the English have been fooled, with confused troops desperately trying to understand codewords such as "hammer" and "stone". Up to 5 million have so far been lost, a serious blow to English morale. Other developments suggest the evil Jocks are using a new transportation device called "skis" to mount raids from the mountains. The English defenders have never seen these before and are powerless to resist.
Desperate times call for desparate measures, and Project Cricket has been launched. Intelligence reports say that Scotland is totally unprepared for the assault. Total secrecy appears to be in place.
A new English leadership has emerged. After the debacle of General Byers; Admiral Straw and the blind mystic Blunkett have new plans to recover English freedom by turning the two major clan leaders McBrown and McBlair against one another. It is hoped that the ensuing confusion will allow the English to prevail. Watching from the sidelines, Duncan-Smith the Bald awaits his chance.
We live in dangerous times, gentlemen. Let battle commence.
She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.