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Pilots Egos And Pax Stupidity

Thu Mar 28, 2002 10:07 am

A pilot is flying a couple of mighty hunters to their hunting area in a _____(insert favorite floatplane here ). The hunters spot the lake they want to land on, and inform our intrepid pilot. The pilot quickly surveys the lake, and figures that the a/c should have no problems getting in, although getting out might be tight. Our pilot tells the hunters to be ready in 2 days.

Two days go by, and our pilot returns to the lake to retrieve the hunters. They stand on the shore all smiles, as they've brought down 2 rather large moose. As they begin loading, our pilot informs them that there is no way this a/c can get out of the lake with all that meat.

To this the hunters reply "you must be joking !! The last guy, who was a great pilot, did it, and you're better than he was."

Our hero thinks about it, scratching his head, trying to guess the weight of meat, judges the wind, and comes to the conclusion that he might just be able to do it. The last guy managed it, so he should be able to do it too. So our pilot agrees.

They get the plane loaded, and as they pull away from the shore, our pilot notices the floats are quite low in the water. Again our pilot voices his concern over the weight. Once again the hunters tell him that he's much better than the last guy, and he did it.

His confidence boosted, our pilot convinces himself that he should be able to do it, the wind is in his favour, and this is a good a/c. So he taxies as far down the lake as he can. He gives it full throttle, and off they go.

After a longer than normal run, he gets it on the step, and they are accelerating. Except now the trees at the end are coming at them pretty darn fast. He grits his teeth, pushing on the throttle in the hope of getting 1 extra horsepower. The trees are getting larger, and larger in the windscreen. Just as he thinks he's going to hit the trees, the a/c lifts off. The stall horn blaring. He eases it up each foot, and it looks like he might miss the trees, only by a whisker, but he might just do it.

Then the gust drops off, and the a/c sinks a little. Sure enough our pilot hears the sound of trees brushing the floats, and feels a slight tug. The airspeed drops slightly. The a/c sinks a little more. This time striking the trees a little lower. More speed is lost, and the a/c settles into the trees. A loud crunch, followed by silence.

Our pilot extracts himself, and his passengers from the wreckage. Then he looks at the twisted pile of metal. He curses quite loudly, and see's his job fluttering away on the winds. When he looks at the hunters, they are quite happy, and slap him on the back telling him how great he was, and how he was much better than the last guy. Our pilot is astonished. "but I just crashed, I risked your lives for no good reason. How in the he!! can you stand there and tell me I'm a great pilot, and better than the last guy ??!!"

The hunters, still smiling reply "You are a better pilot than the last guy, he didn't make it past that first row of trees. Heck you got us almost 1/4 mile past there !!"

Thanks to Randy for the joke

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