For those of you that are interested in field sobriety tests, my roommate, who happens to be a police officer told me that they usually go something like this: at least this is the procedure in his city
First, the obvious-walking in a straight line. Tests for coordination-or lack thereof. Being off balance and difficulty walking are definite symptoms of impaired reflexes.
Second, the eye test: the officer will shine a light into your eyes to see if your pupils are dilated or not. If you're under the influence of a controlled substance, your pupils will remain dilated. This is where people who are driving drunk and claim to be tired usually get pinched. This is a symptom that you cannot fake. A person that's simply tired will have their pupils contract when the light is shined.
Third is leaning your head back and closing your eyes and touching your nose. This Is basically another version of walking in the line: to test your coordination and reflexes. A person that has 87 octane blood simply cannot remain standing still or perform the most basic actions.
Fourth is the doozie:
The officer will tell you to close your eyes and tell you when to tell him, when the officer says "now" when 30 seconds have passed. Again, this is to test your judgement. A person that's drunk will have an altered sense of time. I've seen him bust people, and the 30 seconds on his wristwatch will vary anywhere from 15 seconds to almost three minutes to the suspect.
So you may laugh at how "low tech" that field sobriety tests are, but you'd be amazed at how reliable they really are. That is why the cops will perform multiple tests. It is to "cross check" and come to a reasonable suspicion.
Plus, a lot of drunk drivers get caught because of the manner in which they drive. Of course there is the obvious weaving all over the road, driving on the wrong side of the road, driving into trees, etc. But you're actually more likely to draw attention if you think you're going to stay in the right hand lane and go at the speed limit.
Think about it. How many grannys drive sports cars or trucks (or whatever) at 2AM on a friday or saturday night?
The cops know this and he will assume that you are driving that way in an attempt to avoid getting caught for something.
If you want to drive drunk, and reduce your chances of getting pinched, then the best way to do it is in the center lane, and keeping up with the flow of traffic.
of course if you are so drunk that you cannot even stand, then you have no business getting anywhere near a car. And if you get the matching bracelets, then you deserve it.