saintsman
Posts: 2037
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2002 12:34 am

David Beckham Jokes

Tue May 28, 2002 10:09 pm

Firstly I admit he is up with the best in footballing terms but you have to admit there are an awful lot of jokes about him. I heard this one this morning:

David Beckham is invited as a guest speaker at a function. He is introduced to the crowd and begins to read his speech:

"They are very compact and are nicely packaged. There are lots of different flavours and Victoria likes them as well because they only have two calories...."

"Psst", David is silently interrupted by the host. " David! You're supposed to be talking about 'tac-tics'!"

Let's have your favourites.
 
Arsenal@LHR
Posts: 7510
Joined: Tue Mar 20, 2001 2:55 am

RE: David Beckham Jokes

Tue May 28, 2002 10:52 pm

LMAO!! Big grin, that was funny!

Arsenal@LHR
In Arsene we trust!!
 
McRingRing
Posts: 1028
Joined: Mon Dec 10, 2001 2:59 am

RE: David Beckham Jokes

Tue May 28, 2002 11:17 pm

Oooohhh, nothing like a good soccer joke to start off the day...  Big grin
B==============) ~~~~
 
Arsenal@LHR
Posts: 7510
Joined: Tue Mar 20, 2001 2:55 am

RE: David Beckham Jokes

Tue May 28, 2002 11:27 pm

More like "football"  Big thumbs up

Arsenal@LHR
In Arsene we trust!!
 
McRingRing
Posts: 1028
Joined: Mon Dec 10, 2001 2:59 am

RE: David Beckham Jokes

Tue May 28, 2002 11:41 pm

Football Joke:

Q: What do birthday candles and the Buffalo Bills have in common?

A: They get blown out on the same day every year.


Soccer joke:

A soccer hooligan appeared in court charged with disorderly conduct and assault. The arresting officer, giving evidence, stated that the accused had thrown something into the canal. `What exactly was it that he threw into the canall' asked the magistrate.

'Stones, sir.'

'Well, that's hardly an offence is it?'

'It was in this case, sir,' said the police officer. 'Stones was the referee.'

B==============) ~~~~
 
silverfox
Posts: 1029
Joined: Thu Mar 15, 2001 8:39 am

RE: David Beckham Jokes

Wed May 29, 2002 7:18 am

Heard on the Parsons and Naylor show
R4 thurs repeated r2 Sat lunch

Posh and Becks said they are going to stick together through thick and thin

Shes thin..............
 
silverfox
Posts: 1029
Joined: Thu Mar 15, 2001 8:39 am

RE: David Beckham Jokes

Wed May 29, 2002 7:31 am

Posh and Becks had just returned from New York shopping
Becks was asked where they went?
Oh he says i can recall the name of a railway station
the interviewer assisted
Kings Cross?
NO
Euston?
No
Paddington?
No
Victoria
Yea thats it
Victoria, Where did we go shopping?
 
Thom@s
Posts: 11674
Joined: Thu Oct 19, 2000 2:03 am

RE: David Beckham Jokes

Wed May 29, 2002 5:28 pm

Donæt know any Beckham jokes, but I've known this one since I was 5.

Q: What is the difference between Liverpool and a teabag?

A: The teabag stays longer in the cup.

I also know the Beckham, football, Stan Collymore joke, but I've already told it twice, so if you haven't heared it yet, tough luck.  Big grin

Thom@s
"If guns don't kill people, people kill people - does that mean toasters don't toast toast, toast toast toast?"
 
Thom@s
Posts: 11674
Joined: Thu Oct 19, 2000 2:03 am

RE: David Beckham Jokes

Wed May 29, 2002 5:44 pm

Just found sone Beckham quotes.

"I want Brooklyn to be christened (sp?) but I'm not sure of what kind of religion it will be."

"My parents have always been there for me, ever since I was 7."

"Alex Ferguson is the manager I've had on this level. Actually he is the only manager on this level, but he is the best manager I've had."

But hey, he knows how to shoot a ball. Big grin

Thom@s
"If guns don't kill people, people kill people - does that mean toasters don't toast toast, toast toast toast?"
 
paulc
Posts: 1440
Joined: Mon Mar 05, 2001 10:42 pm

RE: David Beckham Jokes

Wed May 29, 2002 8:40 pm

Sir Alex Ferguson is on who wants to be a millionaire and it is a the final quesition. The question is which animal lives in a sett A) badger B)rabbit c) Fox D) Cuckoo. Fergie is stumped so uses 50/50 which gets rid of B & C. He is still unsure so he uses pfone a friend and get david beckham.
Beckham is 100% sure that the answer is A so fergie goes for A and wins the money.

Next day at training fergie asks beckham why he was so certain it was not cuckoo - 'easy' says beckham 'everybody knows they live in clocks'  Smile
English First, British Second, european Never!

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