Matt D
Topic Author
Posts: 8907
Joined: Fri Nov 19, 1999 6:00 am

Dumb Women/Smart Men, Dumb Men, Etc.

Tue Jun 11, 2002 9:55 pm

Shared with me via e-mail, and pretty much right on the money. I'm surprised that RealHigh didn't beat me to this.


ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED:
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.


 
KROC
Posts: 18919
Joined: Mon May 08, 2000 11:19 am

RE: Dumb Women/Smart Men, Dumb Men, Etc.

Tue Jun 11, 2002 10:01 pm

Classic. I had seen this before, but it had been awhile, and yes, it does seem to be right on the money.  Big thumbs up
 
flyboy36y
Posts: 2897
Joined: Sun Mar 19, 2000 1:45 pm

RE: Dumb Women/Smart Men, Dumb Men, Etc.

Tue Jun 11, 2002 10:38 pm

LOL. That is VERY funny.
 
Lortab 7.5mg
Posts: 771
Joined: Fri Nov 02, 2001 2:13 am

RE: Dumb Women/Smart Men, Dumb Men, Etc.

Tue Jun 11, 2002 10:56 pm


Amen.
 
Ndebele
Posts: 2847
Joined: Mon Apr 09, 2001 3:16 am

RE: Dumb Women/Smart Men, Dumb Men, Etc.

Tue Jun 11, 2002 11:12 pm

LOL, very funny indeed. Especially the very last sentence!

Btw, how does Lortab manage to make those one-word replies? I thought there is a minimum size for every post  Confused
 
Lortab 7.5mg
Posts: 771
Joined: Fri Nov 02, 2001 2:13 am

RE: Dumb Women/Smart Men, Dumb Men, Etc.

Tue Jun 11, 2002 11:16 pm

Ndebele,

 Big grin
 
Ndebele
Posts: 2847
Joined: Mon Apr 09, 2001 3:16 am

RE: Dumb Women/Smart Men, Dumb Men, Etc.

Tue Jun 11, 2002 11:22 pm


Lortab  Big grin
 
blink182
Posts: 5272
Joined: Mon Oct 18, 1999 3:09 am

RE: Dumb Women/Smart Men, Dumb Men, Etc.

Wed Jun 12, 2002 12:27 am

LOL Big grin Big grin Big grin

blink
Give me a break, I created this username when I was a kid...
 
swissgabe
Posts: 5147
Joined: Tue Jan 11, 2000 4:57 am

RE: Dumb Women/Smart Men, Dumb Men, Etc.

Wed Jun 12, 2002 12:29 am

Thats fun and even a little big real  Smile/happy/getting dizzy
Smooth as silk - Royal Orchid Service /// Suid-Afrikaanse Lugdiens - Springbok
 
NWA742
Posts: 4505
Joined: Sat Feb 16, 2002 11:35 am

RE: Dumb Women/Smart Men, Dumb Men, Etc.

Wed Jun 12, 2002 12:40 am

LOL!  Big thumbs up  Big thumbs up  Big thumbs up  Big thumbs up  Big thumbs up
Some people are like slinkies - not good for anything, but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs
 
Superfly
Posts: 37735
Joined: Thu May 11, 2000 8:01 am

RE: Dumb Women/Smart Men, Dumb Men, Etc.

Wed Jun 12, 2002 4:49 am

Matt D:
I love these!
They are hillarious! Big grin  Laugh out loud  Smile/happy/getting dizzy
Bring back the Concorde

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