Matt D
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Why The Closest Parking Spot?

Tue Jul 16, 2002 11:13 pm

This has fascinated me for years. Why do people try so hard and go so far out of their way to get the closest parking spot at wherever they happen to go?

How many times have you seen someone drive around and around, like the Holding Pattern from Hell in a parking lot? Why do people do that?

What is it about the Closest Parking Spot that elevates it to the status of the Holy Grail? Is it some kind of Status Symbol? Is the relative "rarity" of the "closest spot" as opposed to the other, distant spots what makes it a hot item?

I see it all the time. Someone will be in their vehicle. They will drive up and down every single row, just looking for that spot. Then, they have to go around to the back of the lot, passing scores and scores of ampty, herringboned parking spaces only to return right back from where they started from. I've heard people try and justify this arcane action by saying "Well I'm in a hurry".

To me, that excuse holds no water because they'll spend upwards of 5 or even 10 minutes to "save" a one or two minute walk. If you were really in a hurry, wouldn't you grab the first spot you see, take a 30 second walk, and be be done with it?

And what happens when they do find that spot? More often than not, they're in a huge Suburban or something. Have you ever watched an SUV try and wriggle its way into a spot designed for a Honda? It's even better when there are two Hondas on either side of the opening. That person will back in, then out, then in for another two or three minutes in their effort to "save time". (again, there are spots not more than 150 feet away that have weeds growing through the cracks because no one ever parks there)

Or how about when there are two people vying for the same "closest" spot?

Have you ever seen two cars, headlight to headlight in some kind of bizarre standoff waiting for a car to back out because someone just got into that car? Why will TWO cars sit and WAIT for one spot? Again, remember, there are 300 vacancies just sitting there for the taking.

You've heard of "pissing matches" or games of "chicken" to see who's got "the bigger balls"?

That's what I see when I see two cars sitting waiting for the Closest Spot!

I've heard stories of two cars actually driving into each other when competing for a parking spot, in what had to be the worlds most avoidable accident. We talk a lot about Road Rage and air pollution and rising stress levels and people being rude to each other. I see all of the above when I see people circling around and around. They are wasting gas. They are growing flustered and agitated. Something as simple as a parking spot (which they don't even own) becomes a very personal matter.

I guess it's a matter of principle. We are willing to demolish our vehicles, end up in a fistfight, drive for hours, waste a tank of gas, pollute the air-ANYTHING to avoid having to park "out in the boonies" and actually have to WALK for more than 15 steps from our car to our destination.

I think the ultimate in absurd behavior is when I see this going on at my local 24 Hour Fitness. People are going there to do aerobics, run on treadmills, swim 500 laps, and lift weights. But for some reason, they don't want to have to walk to the gym to do that.

WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY?

Friends, as you give this post the traditional 1-star rating, just think about what I'm saying. Next time you drive or ride as a passenger to the shopping mall, forget about the closest spot. Take the first one you can find, even if it is a few minute walk to the front door. You need the exercise. You'll save gas. You'll save wear and tear on your vehicle. You really will save time in the long run. You'll arrive in a fresh and great mood. You won't be all irritated form doing battle with the other motorists. Give it a try. It's quite an eye opener.

And lastly, being that you're out in the boonies, you won't have to worry about door dings. There won't be another car within 50 feet of you.

 
jfktowerfan
Crew
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RE: Why The Closest Parking Spot?

Tue Jul 16, 2002 11:28 pm

Matt D I agree with you this is a very serious issue Big grin By the time some dope finds a closer spot I have already parked and been inside the store etc. For 5 min.
C'mon Man
 
KROC
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RE: Why The Closest Parking Spot?

Tue Jul 16, 2002 11:30 pm

I want the closest spot, because I'm too lazy too walk.

Signed, the stereotypical fat lazy American.
 
Greg
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RE: Why The Closest Parking Spot?

Tue Jul 16, 2002 11:56 pm

It's easiest just to valet park it.
Most the better shopping malls have it--and it's only a couple bucks.
One chain of grocery stores has it here in Houston as well.
Same with some movie theatres.

Beats walking in the rain..or in a dark parking garage. Makes life much easier.
 
Matt D
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RE: Why The Closest Parking Spot?

Wed Jul 17, 2002 12:10 am

Beats walking in the rain..or in a dark parking garage. Makes life much easier.

Well here in SoCal, we don't get but maybe a dozen rainy days a year. And of all of those, it's rare that the rain is continuous. So pardon the pun, but THAT excuse doesn't hold water either.

Who cares if you're in a garage? What's uppermost in your mind? The clothes/toys/services/electronics/food, or whatever you're going to get or where you park?

That's like saying 'I'm going to be going to the Café Bistro. The food sucks, but you should see their parking lot. It is simply beautiful. So that's where I'm going." I simply must have my car seen in that parking lot.

And now let's talk about making life easier. You must've not read the post. Either that, or you're priorities are pretty whacked.

You're telling me that driving in circles for 5, 10, 15 or 20 minutes, turning, weaving, speeding up, slowing down, searching, craning your head left and right looking for that spot, and getting annoyed and angry is EASIER than simply walking 30 seconds longer?

Sound pretty lame, right? But that's what you're saying.
 
nonrevman
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RE: Why The Closest Parking Spot?

Wed Jul 17, 2002 12:29 am

I am inclined to agree with Matt D on this one. Back in the day, we used to drive with this guy named Frank. He did exactly as you described. He would make a day out of looking for a close spot until he finally gave up. We still refer to this as "franking out".

Another reason why I like areas away from the store entrance is because most of the traffic is concentrated at the entrance. Therefore, if you do get the "Holy Grail" spot, you will likely have to wait for a multitude of cars and pedestrians to pass so that you can fight your way out of there. I dont have this problem in the middle or the back.

By the way, if it is raining, I just bring an umbrella.
 
flyguy1
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RE: Why The Closest Parking Spot?

Wed Jul 17, 2002 12:48 am

Actually, in NY people have to do this just to get a spot at all. I dont always look for the closest spot, since it is usually a pain in the ass to get into.
727, L1011, MD80, A300, 777-200, 737-300, 737-700, 747-400, 757-200, 737-800, A320. E190, E135, 767-200, CRJ9
 
Matt D
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RE: Why The Closest Parking Spot?

Wed Jul 17, 2002 1:00 am

Actually, in NY people have to do this just to get a spot at all

It's one thing to circle just to find any spot. It's quite another to circle around and around while passing dozens and dozens of empty ones.

The latter is the subject of this discussion.
 
NKP S2
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RE: Why The Closest Parking Spot?

Wed Jul 17, 2002 1:11 am

Yes it's an idiotic practice, and no, I cannot see the what motivates some to strive harder for a parking spot than their own professional lives. -- Day after day I see the same half-dozen people ( jerkoffs ) show up an hour and a half early for their shift and sit idling at the parking entrance like vultures. It's really funny when our shift leaves because you can sense their anticipation as they see us getting into our cars. I'm an unconscionable ball breaker though: When I do get into my car to leave and see the parade of headlights jokeying for position, I sit there idling for a few minutes and dither around combing my hair etc, just for spite. I'll also walk toward my car and watch one of these losers bound toward the spot...but before I get there I change course and walk past it like it wasn't mine and when the hapless loser drives on by I do an abrupt U-turn and go back to my car...and someone ELSE gets the spot. I really enjoy this. -- We also always see the same exact cars in the closest "primo" spots every day ( and I mean EVERY ) as I come in. One of my co-workers quipped to me "if that guy couldn't park there, he'd go back home and call in sick". Sick indeed.
 
777236ER
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RE: Why The Closest Parking Spot?

Wed Jul 17, 2002 1:20 am

Username: KROC
Posted 2002-07-16 16:30:20 and read 43 times.
I want the closest spot, because I'm too lazy too walk.

Signed, the stereotypical fat lazy American


Hehehe, you do realise that if anyone non-American said that we'd be classed as anti-American idiots etc? Smile
Your bone's got a little machine
 
KROC
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RE: Why The Closest Parking Spot?

Wed Jul 17, 2002 1:22 am

777236ER. I was just saving one of those Anti-Americans the trouble of posting it, and possibly averting a flame war.
 
Matt D
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RE: Why The Closest Parking Spot?

Wed Jul 17, 2002 1:31 am

I guess looking for the Closest Parking Spot is an addiction akin to cocaine or pornography.

Want to have real fun with these losers? Try these tips. All, I have done at one time or another:

As suggested above, walk towards your car like you're getting in it. Then walk away. Classic.

Get in your car, turn on the reverse lights and just sit there. Watching the sucker fidget in his car, you'd think there was an ant invasion in his pants.

Same as above, but actually pull out a few feet, then wait there a few seconds, then pull back in. Park your car, and get out and walk away as though you "forgot" something. Watching the smoke come out of the victims nostrils is indeed hilarious.



And now here's my favorite. Do it at your own risk.


You can only do it during the holidays. But if you REALLY want to beat people at this game, here's how you do it.

During the Holiday Rush season (usually between Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve), the shopping malls are jammed to the gills. Even the "boonies" parking spots are taken. You're lucky to find a spot even on the same property, especially in the evenings and weekends.

Go there on a Saturday or Sunday morning at something like 7AM. Find THE CLOSEST spot to the main entrance and park there. Then, go find a nearby coffee shop and have some coffee and some bacon and eggs or whatever you like for breakfast. While you're there, read the paper or surf the 'net on your laptop (if you have one) Then, when the mall opens up (usually at 0900 or 1000), go in, do your shopping, then come out. By the time you are done, it will be around lunchtime. By then, the mall will have filled up to the gills.

But remember, you parked at THE closest spot. Well, here's where wasting your morning pays off. As people drive by, OFFER your spot to the highest bidder! Flag people down and offer them your spot.

Most of them will thumb their nose and drive off. But sooner or later (and the more crowded the mall is, the sooner it will be), some fat and lazy American spoiled with Instant Gratification will, in sheer desperation, accept your offer.

Charge $50, or $75, or whatever you can get.

Some people will argue that you can't do that. Just ignore them. Just don't leave. If you see security coming, just disappear back into the mall. Remember you parked by the front door? You'll vanish in a wink. And security has better things to do than sit and wait for you to come out.

Once you've made your $$$ for the spot, come back on Sunday and do it again.

If you start early, and commit to every weekend for the month of December, you can basically get all of your Christmas shopping subsidized for you......

And if there is more than one mall in your area, alternate between the two.
 
777236ER
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RE: Why The Closest Parking Spot?

Wed Jul 17, 2002 1:35 am

KROC: don't worry we do this over here too.

Matt D: aren't you reading a BIT too much into this?
Your bone's got a little machine
 
seb146
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RE: Why The Closest Parking Spot?

Wed Jul 17, 2002 2:09 am

My dad did this and it annoyed everyone in the car. If I find a close parking spot upon first entering a parking lot, I will take it. Otherwise I walk. Rain? This is the Pacific Northwest. If you can't handle the rain, go back to SoCal. (My apologies. Typical 'native' reaction.)
The thing that annoys me is when people go the wrong way in parking lots. It is clear that traffic should move in one direction down an aisle yet some speed deamons decide they can go any way they darn well please. It is usualy some lowered, thumpin' Acura or SUV with a very tiny woman behind the wheel. I feel like unleshing my new saying on these....... people: HELLO!!!! OTHER PEOPLE ON THE PLANET!!!!!
Life in the wall is a drag.
 
Greg
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RE: Why The Closest Parking Spot?

Wed Jul 17, 2002 2:51 am

Matt:
Sorry....but I valet every chance I can. It's the quickest and easiest way to park. I'm in the building..or wherever I need to be in about one minute. Tip great and they take good care of your car.
Even IAH now has valet parking and will wash your car if you call them the day before arrival.

How much better can that be?

Is it lazy? Nope...my free time is valuable to me. I do it so I don't have to look for a parking space...or more importantly..remember where I parked it.
 
N312RC
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RE: Why The Closest Parking Spot?

Wed Jul 17, 2002 2:55 am

My favorite site is watching that illusive soccer mom try to cram her Ford Expedition or Chevy Suburban into a "compact only" spot...
N/A
 
Matt D
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RE: Why The Closest Parking Spot?

Wed Jul 17, 2002 3:16 am

Sorry....but I valet every chance I can. It's the quickest and easiest way to park.

What are you apologizing for? I applaud your effort. It sounds to me like you're pretty levelheaded and don't want to bother with petty things like this. Your time is at a premium to you and you're not afraid to pay for it. Unfortunately, there are not valet lots everywhere here in SoCal. Those seem to be pretty much limited to the West Side, Downtown, and The Valley.

I don't frequent those areas. I'm a denizen of the Inland Empire, Orange County, and San Gabriel Valley sections of the LA Metropolis-where valet parking is still relatively pretty rare.

You've got my blessings.


Anyway, now back to the topic.
 
srbmod
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RE: Why The Closest Parking Spot?

Wed Jul 17, 2002 3:47 am

I usually try to get the first parking spot I see. If it's an upclose space, great, if not, so I have to walk a little. Some people think that walking 20 extra feet is a complete hassle, like they're having to park a mile away. I mean some places you have no option but to park away from where you are going. When's the last time you parked right next to the venue in which you going to a game or a concert? Unless you have one of those parking stickers given to the suite owners, you're S.O.L. Just that the first empty space you see, and quite whining about having to walk a few extra feet. A little bit of walking never killed anyone.
 
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yyz717
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RE: Why The Closest Parking Spot?

Wed Jul 17, 2002 7:50 am

Recall the Ally McBeal episode where Ling bumps into a person in a wheelchair -- "watch where you're going, it's bad enough you people get all the best parking spots".

hehehe

I dumped at the gybe mark in strong winds when I looked up at a Porter Q400 on finals. Can't stop spotting.
 
SSTjumbo
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RE: Why The Closest Parking Spot?

Wed Jul 17, 2002 8:12 am

Why the closest parking spot?

Ask yourself why so many Americans are overweight. Someone probably said that already, but oh well.
I don't know, so this is my signature.
 
Guest

RE: Why The Closest Parking Spot?

Wed Jul 17, 2002 8:49 am

Guys,

Laaaayyyyyzzzzziiiiinnnnnesssssss. Simple.

It happens in this country as well, Sydney is full of hideous mega-malls with this sort of problem. We also have that ridiculous problem of people driving up to 4 suburbs away to score 2 or 4 cents a litre off fuel. It defeats the purpose in reality.

Personally, I avoid shopping malls like the plague. *hideous* Instead I shop in the city department stores and have my groceries home delivered. When I do invariably have to park at a major shopping centre I look for a spot that is next to a concrete support and make sure the car next to me doesn't have kiddie seats in the back. (One side is at least protected.) Too many times I have seen kids slam open a car door into another persons car.

Oh, and the parents with *prams* parking spots at Westfield's are excellent to park in - nice and wide.

mb
 
Russianplnelvr
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RE: Why The Closest Parking Spot?

Wed Jul 17, 2002 9:19 am

Matt D,

I always see quite a few valet parking parking spots in Orange County.
 
nwa man
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RE: Why The Closest Parking Spot?

Wed Jul 17, 2002 4:29 pm

Greg...

You're absolutely insane.

Handing the valet boy the keys to your M5???

Takes guts, man.


NWA Man
Create your own luck.
 
notdownnlocked
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RE: Why The Closest Parking Spot?

Wed Jul 17, 2002 4:46 pm

I would like to add a little this topic here which I have seen to be quite the norm also and perhaps you all did not notice: Is that you can see these same "minions" (i.e.) soccer moms/SUV'ers and others in the same category driving around with very many spaces open even up close to where they need to get out they will still drive around over and over as they are not used to so many choices and will drive trying to decide where to park in the empty lot. I see it every day and it does happen. Am I the only one to notice this?
 
Greg
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RE: Why The Closest Parking Spot?

Wed Jul 17, 2002 10:24 pm

NWA....
I threaten them first...and hand them my business card from my law firm.
I'm kidding, of course.

I've never had any problem--that I've known of... I ask them nicely to take good care of it. And tip generously upfront!


 
srbmod
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RE: Why The Closest Parking Spot?

Thu Jul 18, 2002 2:55 am

I really don't like having to get my car valet parked. I mean, my car's not all that great, but I just get a mental of picture of them doing to my car what the valets did to Cameron's dad's Ferrari in 'Ferris Bueller's Day Off."
 
KAL_LM
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RE: Why The Closest Parking Spot?

Thu Jul 18, 2002 1:59 pm

Yeah, this always cracks me up. Waht also makes me laugh is when this idiocy happens at the mall. I mean, you're going there to walk around and shop aren't you? What's a little extra walking going to matter?! But you're right, it is fun to f*ck with those waiting impatiently for your spot.

regards,
Tom
is that a light at the end of the tunnel or just a train?
 
747-451
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RE: Why The Closest Parking Spot?

Thu Jul 18, 2002 3:03 pm

I park where I can find a spot, where ever the spot is. However, my Dad has the last laugh, he has handicapped plates...and there is no greater satifaction than forcing illegally parked "boitches" in SUV's out of those spots to make way for someone who needs it.
 
EWRvirgin
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RE: Why The Closest Parking Spot?

Thu Jul 18, 2002 3:56 pm

Matt,

Sounds like you're doing a George Carlin bit.
 
VonRichtofen
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RE: Why The Closest Parking Spot?

Thu Jul 18, 2002 7:11 pm

As a former Valet I will say this:

Most Valets respect nice cars, even if I wasn't tipped well I'd still take good care of a nice car. If the person tipped me well, then I'd "porche park it" in other words I'd park it so it wasn't close to any other car to prevent any possible scrapes etc. If the guy was a really good tipper then I'd probably give his wheels a shine or something. If some guy drives in, in a POS and doesn't tip a dime, we'll still do our job, but don't expect a wash or anything.

It's all about money. If you tip a Valet well, he won't even let cops near your car LOL!
 
Gumah
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RE: Why The Closest Parking Spot?

Fri Jul 19, 2002 2:30 am

Matt,

Just as an FYI, there are two OC shopping malls that offer valet that I know of. Nordstrom @ Brea Mall as well as South Coast Plaza. I find these especially useful during the holiday season.

This is an interesting topic. I agree with everything you mention in your post. People get way to psycho over parking spots. For me, I'd rather find the first available than drive around for hours and hours. My husband drives around forever following people, up and down the rows when we go shopping together and it drives me nuts. We've had world war 3 break out in the car several times over this issue.

As for me, when I have the fortunate circumstance of getting an "up close" spot (which is rare), I usually flag someone down who is following me to let them know I am leaving. Also, If I happen to catch someone getting in their car and I'm waiting to pull in to their parking space, I immediately turn on my blinker. This is just common courtesy for the person behind me who has to wait.
 
planelover
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RE: Why The Closest Parking Spot?

Fri Jul 19, 2002 2:53 am

What about parking garages? Many times I see people cramming in, trying to get closest to the walkway on the lower level. Seems pretty dumb to me. Why not just park on one of the top decks where there are all kinds of parking spots free? A person can usually find one really close to the elevator and just take the elevator all the way down. Most of the time, it seems that elevators are positioned near the lower level walkway anyways. Plus, at least around here, the upper decks don't have hardly any cars up there. It boggles the mind the way some of these people drive.

Anyhow, have fun.  Smile/happy/getting dizzy
PL
 
Big777jet
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RE: Why The Closest Parking Spot?

Fri Jul 19, 2002 11:39 am

I do not care to park closer to the store. I always park my car in the back parking lot where are no cars next to my car. I hate to see some idiots when the door opens whack my car's side or old people did not know how to back up and swipe my car's side. I have seen about 5 or 8 times a year notice whack door, swipe side car or shopping cart hits the car. I hate to see this happen. My car is fine and no damaged or dent. That's why I park far away in the parking lot to stay out all those idiot drivers out there.


Big777jet

 
dripstick
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RE: Why The Closest Parking Spot?

Fri Jul 19, 2002 11:48 am

Mall Parking Spotters Club of America
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