saintsman
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Smacking Children - Right Or Wrong?

Fri Oct 04, 2002 4:50 pm

The UK is being criticised today for refusing to ban the smacking of children.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/2297821.stm

I remember being punished as a child (my mother had a stick so she wouldn't hurt her hand) and although I wasn't smacked often I remember that I didn't like it and swore that I wouldn't hit any of my children. Well in the main I don't, but if they are particularly naughty they might get a tap. I usually use the fear of smacking to punish them. They get shouted at, which they don't like, and that usually does the trick.

So, what do you think? Personally I think that the occasional smack doesn't 'hurt'. Do you think that smacking should be banned? One other point, the shouting approach will probably be considered 'mental cruelty' by these do gooders shortly and that'll be wrong too.
 
9V-SVA
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RE: Smacking Children - Right Or Wrong?

Fri Oct 04, 2002 5:00 pm

Goodness, my mom used to cane me a lot. But I find this inhumane and when I have kids in 10-15 years time, I won't resort to such inhumane ways of punishment.

Shout at them, yes. Caning, no.

9V-SVA
9V-SVA | B772ER
 
cfalk
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RE: Smacking Children - Right Or Wrong?

Fri Oct 04, 2002 5:41 pm

Unfortunately, the occasional spanking or slap is probably a good idea, if the kid has gone way over the line. Saintsman, you say you use the "fear of smacking" to punish. That's fine, but there won't be much fear for long if they see that you'd never actually do it.

My father smacked me maybe only 3 or 4 times in my life, but that did teach me that the line could only be stretched so far. 9V-SVA, you say that you will never do the same, and I said the same thing when I was a kid. But when I grew up I understood that he was teaching me the difference between bending a rule, for which you might get a warning, and actually breaking it. Well into my adult life now, I thank my father for making the difference clear.

Let's face it. Children are not very rational. You can explain things until you are blue in the face, and they will go on doing what they should not, especially if all their friends do it. It's the age of instant gratification, few morals, and, frankly, hedonism. If you don't teach them the difference between a minor infraction and a major one, their first lesson will be when they land themselves in deep trouble with the law, or they hurt someone throught their carelessness.

Charles
The only thing you should feel when shooting a terrorist: Recoil.
 
rapo
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RE: Smacking Children - Right Or Wrong?

Fri Oct 04, 2002 9:45 pm

The word "smacking" brings the image of a a hard slap across the face to mind. This I definitely do not agree with. Though an occasional spanking is more than called for in cases where kids are disrespectful of authority or in cases of lying. I agree with Cfalk: kids by nature are not rational & sometimes need a corporal "attention getter". Following the punishment, when everything has calmed down, I think the kid is owed an explanation of just why he was subjected to the punishment, & how he can avoid it in the future. I think this is a good way of getting him/her to "put it behind them" & move on while still getting the point of their misbehavior. If the behavior improves, do something fun with them. This is how it was in our house when I was brought up, & how it will be when my boy (expecting him this January!!) is being raised. BTW, I have a great relationship with my parents today.

rapo
 
saintsman
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RE: Smacking Children - Right Or Wrong?

Fri Oct 04, 2002 10:37 pm

Rapo,

I know exactly what you are saying and in my view that approach works. The trouble is the do-gooders say that you shouldn't even do that. No corporal punishment period.



Beating children is another matter and I don't think that can come under 'punishment' no matter how bad they may have been. I'm sure there is a lot of the 'That's the way I was brought up and it never did me any harm' attitude. Doesn't make it right though.

There is the argument that it teaches kids that if you want to get your own way use force, but in my view you only get this if kids don't know the difference between right and wrong.
 
jcs17
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RE: Smacking Children - Right Or Wrong?

Fri Oct 04, 2002 11:32 pm

I would do it until the kid was around 6, because at young ages like that kids respond faster to physical punishment, whereas "sending a kid to his room" for punishment takes a lot longer to register with the kid. But, I am not talking about beating the shit out of the kid...Smack him on his back or ass using your hands...I would never smack my kid across the face or use a belt or a cane. I got smacked on the ass once in a while until I was 8, but it was only if I did something completely outrageous. And my mom has smacked me across the face a couple times in the younger years for cursing at her.

9V-SVA, I find it quite amusing that you agree with the topic "President Bush was dropped on his head as a baby"...and you were caned...LOL! Did your mom cane the intelligence out of you?
America's chickens are coming home to rooooost!
 
We're Nuts
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RE: Smacking Children - Right Or Wrong?

Fri Oct 04, 2002 11:48 pm

Whether or not it should be illegal is not the point. Hitting your child is simply bad parenting. What kind of parent would beat his child for his own mistakes? I say if your kid does something wrong, it's probably YOUR fault. Use intellect to raise your children, not pain and fear.
Dear moderators: No.
 
TWFirst
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RE: Jcs17

Sat Oct 05, 2002 1:09 am

It's too bad your mom smacked you across the face only a couple of times...
An unexamined life isn't worth living.
 
EGGD
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RE: Smacking Children - Right Or Wrong?

Sat Oct 05, 2002 1:23 am

I got smacked sometimes, ok it didn't stop me doing bad things, but I think its not going to change whether you turn out to be a good or a bad kid. I don't think the way you grow up is determined by how good your parents are, more like how good your parents genes are. Most of the time children just inherit bad behaviour from their parents. Or they get spoiled to death or not enough discipline.
 
vickybiccy
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RE: Smacking Children - Right Or Wrong?

Sat Oct 05, 2002 2:32 am

I was given the occasional smack when I was a kid, and for me it was the fear of it that worked!

My father used to smack me on the wrist but, thinking about it now, it was never that hard! I think it was a short sharp shock to get me to behave! (I'd usually done something I knew was wrong anyway.

I'm kind of undecided on this because there are too many children that are abused and they desperately need to be protected from this. Also, if a child is hit repeatedly, the effect of being hit loses its fear factor.

On the other hand, the law would be VERY hard to police and in court, would the jury take the word of a small child. Also, there is a possiblity that a child would lie about being hit.

Its definitely a difficult one!!
 
rapo
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RE: Smacking Children - Right Or Wrong?

Sat Oct 05, 2002 2:43 am

"I say if your kid does something wrong, it's probably YOUR fault"

Ok, let me ask you this. If it's my fault, what should I have done to prevent the bad behavior in the first place?

rapo
 
lubcha132
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RE: Smacking Children - Right Or Wrong?

Sat Oct 05, 2002 5:21 am

spare the rod (or hand) spoil the child

it can be good but not in high doses. screaming wears off.
 
brianhames
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RE: Smacking Children - Right Or Wrong?

Sat Oct 05, 2002 7:39 am

Well I don't think you should "smack" a child, like across the face or anything. But dicipline is in order, and time out just won't cut it. By all means, pull that kids pants down and give that bum a good slap.
 
Guest

RE: Smacking Children - Right Or Wrong?

Sat Oct 05, 2002 12:21 pm

there is a line that should not be crossed. Discipline of my children is limited to my hand on their behind and no more.

You only need to look around you to see that the do gooder theory of no discipline does not work. Brats abound!




VH-ADG
 
We're Nuts
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RE: Smacking Children - Right Or Wrong?

Sat Oct 05, 2002 12:21 pm

Ok, let me ask you this. If it's my fault, what should I have done to prevent the bad behavior in the first place?

Most parents nowadays are more interested in their greedy obsessions than raising their child. It's almost as if the only reason they wanted kids was for the tax break. That's sad. And it's people like that, who have no idea how to teach a child, who resort to brutality.

Make your kids admire you, not fear you.
Dear moderators: No.
 
N312RC
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RE: Smacking Children - Right Or Wrong?

Sat Oct 05, 2002 1:27 pm

I was smacked on the bottom when I did stuff wrong... Even today my mom will slap me across the face..

Just like the ramble says: "It doesnt take a village to raise a child, it takes a parent with a firm voice and a firmer hand".

It works, and its none of your business if I whack my kids when they do something wrong. I was whacked on the bottom with a hand and I turned out OK.
N/A
 
We're Nuts
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RE: Smacking Children - Right Or Wrong?

Sat Oct 05, 2002 3:36 pm

Is it my business if you want to molest your kids? Or kill them?
Dear moderators: No.
 
L-188
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RE: Smacking Children - Right Or Wrong?

Sat Oct 05, 2002 6:39 pm

Vickybiccy, and ADG have pretty much said it.

It is the threat of that response, that is much more effective then actually doing it.

You have to be willing to follow through occasionally but if you play your cards right that will happen few and far between.
OBAMA-WORST PRESIDENT EVER....Even SKOORB would be better.
 
N312RC
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RE: Smacking Children - Right Or Wrong?

Sun Oct 06, 2002 2:13 am

We're Crazy:

It's not your business if I smack my kids. Smacking is not molesting nor is it killing, and it's been practiced for hundreds of years. Back in the sixties my father was smacked with paddles at school for pete sakes. He turned out better than you, obviously.
N/A
 
vaporlock
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RE: Smacking Children - Right Or Wrong?

Sun Oct 06, 2002 2:48 am

For all of us out there who have been parents.......we all know how children can "TEST" us.....for whatever reason.

This is just a little something that I came across a while back and it makes a lot of sense.

IF I HAD MY CHILD TO RAISE ALL OVER AGAIN......

If I had my child to raise all over again,
I'd finger paint more, and point the finger less.
I would do less correcting and more connecting.
I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.
I would care to know less, and know to care more.
I'd take more hikes, and fly more kites.
I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play.
I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars.
I'd do more hugging and less tigging.
I'd build self-esteem first, and the house later.
I would be firm less often, and affirm much more.
I'd teach less about the love of power, and more about the power of love......

Phyllis
 Smile
 
vafi88
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RE: Smacking Children - Right Or Wrong?

Sun Oct 06, 2002 12:55 pm

And you wonder why American children often go *bad* for no reason...It's because the law forbids giving chilidren the fist...so they think they are safe from their parents...you go to other countries...and there aren't such laws, yes children often do turn bad...but it's because of the condition of the country (economy, ect.)


If I have children...I will most certainly spank them or punish them for being bad so they will learn to respect me....I'm not talking about Beating them up...just a good spanking will do just fine...
I'd like to elect a president that has a Higher IQ than a retarted ant.
 
We're Nuts
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RE: Smacking Children - Right Or Wrong?

Sun Oct 06, 2002 2:52 pm

So where do we draw the line in Smacks-ville? When does a gentle reminder turn into child abuse?
Dear moderators: No.
 
Dasa
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RE: Smacking Children - Right Or Wrong?

Sun Oct 06, 2002 4:32 pm

If one is to smack children, then where does one draw the line? Is hitting your wife then acceptable? How about kicking your dog when he digs up the garden?

__________________________________________________________________
Das.A
 
Guest

RE: Smacking Children - Right Or Wrong?

Sun Oct 06, 2002 11:30 pm

If one is to smack children, then where does one draw the line? Is hitting your wife then acceptable? How about kicking your dog when he digs up the garden?

The line has been draw. There is no comparison between disciplining a child and beating a wife. That's a silly emotive argument that holds no credibility.

I draw a very black line. If you use a weapon on your child (wooden spoon, strap etc), then you are abusing your child. If you hit your child anywhere other than the fleshy behind, then that's abuse.

If you hit your wife you go to jail, if you kick your dog you'll go to jail and if you beat your child you'll go to jail. But a simple smack on the behind every now and again teaches a child to behave.





VH-ADG
 
We're Nuts
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RE: Smacking Children - Right Or Wrong?

Mon Oct 07, 2002 12:24 am

teaches a child to behave.

Okay, prove it.
Dear moderators: No.
 
cfalk
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RE: Smacking Children - Right Or Wrong?

Mon Oct 07, 2002 12:51 am

OK, Nuts. This was all over the news.

Some years ago there was a certain spoiled American kid who'd never had corporal punishment before. His idea of fun was destroying property for fun. He'd key cars, paint grafitti, etc.

Then he went to Singapore and started doing the same thing. He was caught and caned for the crime.

I can guarantee you that he will never break the rules in Singapore again. He might home in the U.S. though.

Corporal punishment works for the child who thinks he can get away with anything.

Charles
The only thing you should feel when shooting a terrorist: Recoil.
 
9V-SVA
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RE: Smacking Children - Right Or Wrong?

Mon Oct 07, 2002 2:23 pm

I will never cane my children but the occasional slap will suffice. I don't want to be seen as a child abuser.

9V-SVA
9V-SVA | B772ER
 
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OzarkD9S
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RE: Smacking Children - Right Or Wrong?

Mon Oct 07, 2002 2:52 pm

I've seen some children (and parents) that deserve to be publicly horsewhipped for some of their antics. Spare the rod and spoil society...
Coast to Coast and Border to Border, Ozark Flies YOUR Way!
 
Guest

RE: Smacking Children - Right Or Wrong?

Mon Oct 07, 2002 5:29 pm

Talking about child abuse .. who else has seen the footage of that woman smacking into her kid in the carpark?

Now THAT is child abuse!




VH-ADG
 
JAL
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RE: Smacking Children - Right Or Wrong?

Tue Oct 08, 2002 4:16 am

The occasional smacking or spanking is ok as long as people don't use too much force.
Work Hard But Play Harder
 
Westjet!Eh!
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RE: Smacking Children - Right Or Wrong?

Tue Oct 08, 2002 1:05 pm

You can smack the children ONCE but not many times. One is enough! And also you can smack on the bottom, hands and legs except face and arms. However, at school, principals are forbidden to use crane to smack students at the primary and high school.
 
ryanb741
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RE: Smacking Children - Right Or Wrong?

Tue Oct 08, 2002 3:36 pm

If smacking worked surely we would only need to do it once?!!?
I used to think the brain is the most fascinating part of my body. But, hey, who is telling me that?
 
jwenting
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RE: Smacking Children - Right Or Wrong?

Tue Oct 08, 2002 6:01 pm

Some kids have very short memories Ryanb...
It works, but sometimes repetition is needed to get the point across.

The soft treatment of kids in the last generation or so has led to a huge increase in criminal behaveour among youngsters.
Basically, they can get away with anything and they know it.
And more often than not they are told they can do what they want. I've seen parents tell their kids to put candy in their pockets or eat it in stores, basically teaching them that shoplifting is OK...

Once a kid knows he will be punished where it hurts for breaking the law (set at home by the parents) (s)he usually will stay in line.
For a kid, money doesn't mean anything (it's too abstract). Confining the kid to his/her room is no punishment (they'll just go and play there, it's fun anyway) and in some countries is illegal (illegal confinement, there are cases).
So corporal punishment is the only open option for showing the kid you mean business. Just threatening isn't enough. If they've never experienced it and/or know you won't go through with it anyway the threat is meaningless.
I do draw the line at causing damage to the child. Stop before you cause bruises or break bones, etc. but if you threaten to slap the kid be prepared to follow up on it or you loose all credibility.
I wish I were flying
 
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yyz717
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RE: Smacking Children - Right Or Wrong?

Wed Oct 09, 2002 8:59 am

If it's right for you to smack your children, then do it. If it's wrong for you to smack your children, then don't do it.

Leave it up to the parents to decide, but if you see any abuse of children at the hands of their parents, call the police.

Just don't ban all smacking.
I dumped at the gybe mark in strong winds when I looked up at a Porter Q400 on finals. Can't stop spotting.
 
Leftypilot79
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RE: Smacking Children - Right Or Wrong?

Wed Oct 09, 2002 10:15 am

ADG,

I did see the video of the woman BEATING her child on the car park. The thing that pissed me off the most was she looked around to make sure no one was watching. Stupid stupid STUPID!!!!. Now I don't like the word SMACKING. That to me means a smack across the face....that is not acceptable. But...spankings on the rear end are most DEFINETLY OK. I got them as a kid and it did do its job. I wish kids would get spanked more often. Im in the airport everyday, and there is always some parents with a screaming brat thats misbehaving, while they just sit there while the little tower of terror is running amock. A good hard swat on the ass that STINGS would set that little brat straight.  Smile Spanking is good. Child abuse is bad. There is not grey area about this.


aaron

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