heavymetal
Posts: 4442
Joined: Fri May 08, 2015 3:37 am

Slouching Toward Oppression

Sat Oct 05, 2002 6:36 am

In their hypocritical crusade to return this country to the dubious "50s era values" they rejected, the baby boomers score another victory against the evils of suntanned flesh:

NO MORE NUDITY IN DAYTONA BEACH. COMMISSIONERS HAVE APPROVED A NEW LAW IN THE PARTY TOWN. THE NEW ANTI-NUDITY LAW REQUIRES PEOPLE TO COVER UP ONE-THIRD OF THEIR BUTTOCKS AND ONE-QUARTER OF A WOMAN'S BREAST. LAWBREAKERS WILL FACE FINES AS HIGH AS 500 DOLLARS. COMMISSIONERS WERE CONCERNED ABOUT SPECIAL EVENTS SUCH AS SPRING BREAK, BUT ALSO WANTED TO GET THE LAW PASSED BEFORE AN EVENT THAT STARTS MUCH SOONER. BIKETOBERFEST HAPPENS LATER THIS MONTH. THE ORDINANCE DOES NOT APPLY TO THE BEACH, WHICH IS CONTROLLED BY VOLUSIA COUNTY. BUT BEACHGOERS WHO WEAR SKIMPY ATTIRE WOULD BE REQUIRED TO COVER UP WITHIN CITY LIMITS.

You must cover up one-third of your buttocks! Un-be-f**kinglievable. As if they're gonna hire extra cops to wander the beaches with a tee square and ruler.

I'm tellin ya. Burkas and public executions are next. Nothing will stop the REAL American Taliban, the right wing prudes and busybodies who run more and more of this country every day.

Seen on the bumper of a car outside a Daytona Beach strip club- "THEY CAN HAVE MY THONG WHEN THEY PRY IT FROM THE GRIP OF MY COLD, DEAD BUTT CHEEKS!


 
747-451
Posts: 2327
Joined: Wed Oct 04, 2000 5:50 am

RE: Slouching Toward Oppression

Sat Oct 05, 2002 6:43 am

Please!

The only women I see wearing thongs. string bikinis, low riders, stretchies etc . are the ones who should NEVER,EVER,EVER wear them. So the law is fine...
 
Rai
Posts: 1697
Joined: Fri Feb 15, 2008 6:12 pm

RE: Slouching Toward Oppression

Sat Oct 05, 2002 6:45 am

You think that's bad? Try operation "Shhhhh" by my mayor, Mike Bloomberg. He's cracking down on "noise pollution". Go figure. NYC is becoming more and more of a suburb each day.
 
heavymetal
Posts: 4442
Joined: Fri May 08, 2015 3:37 am

RE: Slouching Toward Oppression

Sat Oct 05, 2002 6:49 am

So the law is fine...

You ain't cruisin the right beaches, ace. Florida has some female bodies that would give Seigfried and Roy chub.

Now in Daytona of course they get to wear the Eisenhower era full figured "scuba suit" design. How modern.

Death to Prudes and the Party that Powers Them.
 
747-451
Posts: 2327
Joined: Wed Oct 04, 2000 5:50 am

RAI/Heavymetal

Sat Oct 05, 2002 7:23 am

Yeah, I've heard of it and I'm all for it. No more boom cars, rrice rockets, lod nightclubs and shreiking from Hillary.

Heavy

I lived in California and I could say that there is no such thing ans an ugly girl there (same for Texas, Gerogia, the Carolinas and a few other states). However, after moving to the NORTHEAST, there are losts of lovely girls mixed in with the cottage cheese!...ewwwww! gross....
 
GDB
Posts: 12652
Joined: Wed May 23, 2001 6:25 pm

RE: Slouching Toward Oppression

Sat Oct 05, 2002 5:00 pm

Heavymetal has a point, and more seriously once puritan weirdo Ashcroft got into office in 2001, the first thing he did was to cut funding from anti-terrorist to anti-pornography investigations!

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