In their hypocritical crusade to return this country to the dubious "50s era values" they rejected, the baby boomers score another victory against the evils of suntanned flesh:
NO MORE NUDITY IN DAYTONA BEACH. COMMISSIONERS HAVE APPROVED A NEW LAW IN THE PARTY TOWN. THE NEW ANTI-NUDITY LAW REQUIRES PEOPLE TO COVER UP ONE-THIRD OF THEIR BUTTOCKS AND ONE-QUARTER OF A WOMAN'S BREAST. LAWBREAKERS WILL FACE FINES AS HIGH AS 500 DOLLARS. COMMISSIONERS WERE CONCERNED ABOUT SPECIAL EVENTS SUCH AS SPRING BREAK, BUT ALSO WANTED TO GET THE LAW PASSED BEFORE AN EVENT THAT STARTS MUCH SOONER. BIKETOBERFEST HAPPENS LATER THIS MONTH. THE ORDINANCE DOES NOT APPLY TO THE BEACH, WHICH IS CONTROLLED BY VOLUSIA COUNTY. BUT BEACHGOERS WHO WEAR SKIMPY ATTIRE WOULD BE REQUIRED TO COVER UP WITHIN CITY LIMITS.
You must cover up one-third of your buttocks! Un-be-f**kinglievable. As if they're gonna hire extra cops to wander the beaches with a tee square and ruler.
I'm tellin ya. Burkas and public executions are next. Nothing will stop the REAL American Taliban, the right wing prudes and busybodies who run more and more of this country every day.
Seen on the bumper of a car outside a Daytona Beach strip club- "THEY CAN HAVE MY THONG WHEN THEY PRY IT FROM THE GRIP OF MY COLD, DEAD BUTT CHEEKS!