A world of peace exists only in the mind, and is only activated when confronted one of the most powerful situations: The intimate one.
Looking deeper than imaginable causes us to fade into a realm where you feel like everything you've ever known suddenly falls into place, and then time suddenly stops yet you feel that your environment has not been harmed, yet it has expended faster than light to the edge of forever. You feel like laughing but the situation is not that funny useless you consider the fact that at one time you never thought this would happen; and yes that time has existed and now it remains a fossil of your thought. Now suddenly one must realize that the incorporation of another reality and another environment is the only way to sustain this new greatness.
The hopes of us all are always high here simply because there is too much peace, we have let go of the devil in our souls and have accepted our new life, as if we were dead all this time. How could there be another, the though of having to die once more reflects the exact opposite of what has been -- an absolute riot of despair never ending chaos in a collapsing dome of over-pressure -- purely created by the mind's eye. In reality nothing has changed, everyone has maintained their existence despite our lapse of extraordinary peace to extraordinary hell.
Afterwards a different species of world peace arrives, compared to previous experiences; it is odd in nature, as if a lack of environment allows serenity which proves confusing as we have just experienced a hurricane of peace and now half is gone, or is it? Memories prove it will never be gone, whether it was enjoyed or loathed, it is a part of thee. It is history, our history and must be respected. The desire to re-energize that world of peace it what keeps us going, whether or not it allows us to continue or goes in circles, that in specific would be an example of non-respect, and our memories suffer forever.
However one must or should have learned or better have remembered what kind of peace takes pain and suffering with it. Most importantly, remember what and how caused that sudden rupture of your most ultimate situation, being the intimate one, and try to halt the very notion of repetition without laceration of memory. We fear the unknown, it is a part of the living species’ and the idea that other peace exists beyond that which we can believe is fear. Conquer thy fear; conquer it solely based on your mental reality, not those of other environment in which you do not have been in command over.
The previous epistle was a personal account of a situation that I still deny to this day that may very well have been my first experience of this caliber that I refuse to acknowledge: I was in love.
And it is my greatest fear that I will never get the opportunity to love again. It was my belief that the circumstances at the time were beyond my scope of reason and were too much for me to handle. Unfortunately for me the feeling that I felt and felt were true were not mutual with my opposing party at the time. She felt that I did not understand nor interpreted my feelings properly, whence I expressed them, perhaps she was in truth, perhaps she was in denial. Though I do not believe in the latter, I cannot say for certain as I have not realized until know the situation in full. I feel I cannot or maybe that I wish not to proceed with my life as if she had not ruptured my environment. We were not romantically involved, just friends; she happens to be the one that I have not seen in two years…
I miss her dearly, though I ask what do I miss, herself or how I felt when we knew each other? I believe it to be the latter, that I at one point in my life experienced a world of peace where I can only wish for another opportunity to repair a once great kingdom, not 'a', but my world of peace.