1. Life is not fair.
2. Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for. But don't fight someone who is scared that your dick might be bigger than his, unless there is no way out for you, in which case you kick him in the balls. No asshole is worth going to jail for.
3. There is no such thing as a free lunch, unless you are a worthless lazy welfare recipient.
4. A woman who isn't good in bed is a woman not worth keeping.
5. You are not going to be rich by the time you're 25, unless you win the Lottery. We all "paid our dues" by working shitty jobs to get work experience and money. Work your way up.
6. Algebra, calculus, and trigonometry will serve absolutely no purpose in your life whatsoever, unless you become a building engineer or astronomer, and even then, the computers will do the work for you.
7. You don't see horses f---ing zebras. You catch my drift?
8. If you see something you want that will make you happy, and you can get it without doing anything illegal or immoral, GET IT. YOu can worry about the consequences later.
9. I don't care what any politician, school teacher, or anyone else says, there ARE absolute rights and wrongs. Anyone that believes in moral relativism is soeone for you to steer clear of.
10. Not to contradict myself with #9, but we all must respect everyones right to an opinion, even if the other persons is wrong. When disagreements escalate to belittlement and violence, then BOTH sides are wrong. If you can't reach an amiable conclusion, then agree to disagree and walk away.
11. Don't be a social conformist. Learn to think and act for yourself.
12. Vote in every election. Don't vote your conscience. Vote your brain and your wallet. God put your head above your heart and dick for a reason. And most of all, vote for who you feel is best, not who the "projected winner" is.
13. Obey the law, even if you disagree with it. If you break it, and get caught, you will have to deal with the consequences. Don't look to me or anyone else to bail you out of your self-inflicted jam.
14. No matter how sophisticated the woman you are dating is, she IS still a woman at heart. Bring flowers, open the door, and pay for her meal.
15. Respect your elders. Especially widows and orphans. You mess with them, and God will show you no mercy.
16. Always say "please" and "thank you".
17. You can get by on charm for about 5 minutes. After that, you better know something.
And the most important one of all is the rule for all ages:
"Treat everyone else the way you want to be treated.