vafi88
Posts: 2981
Joined: Sun Apr 08, 2001 10:32 am

Friend Trying To Convert Me...HELP!

Tue Jan 07, 2003 9:48 am

Today came into Band class with my friend who wanted to talk to me about something...I ask what it was, and he said that he just became a member of some youth group which was christian, and eventhough he had been christian all of his life, he just now finally got into it and tried to get me to come...

Me, being a natural athiest, tried to talk my way out of it politely, because it was my friend who was talking to me, but I couldn't he really wants me to come, but I can't and said that I can't, but this guy just won't give up!

He told me a bunch of stories from the bible and I was willing to listen because I never let a learning experience down, but still had a fact in mind which was that I wasn't going to step a foot inside a church.

I'm thinking of a way of getting out of it POLITELY since it is my friend and not harm him or his religious beliefs...

Bear in mind...THIS IS NOT A RELIGIOUS WAR! DON'T MAKE IT ONE!!!

Just help me out with this one, please!

Any help appreciated, if you're here just to post something stupid....don't, as I don't appreciate stupid sh*t in my time of need, and neither would you!

Thanks for any replies!

I'd like to elect a president that has a Higher IQ than a retarted ant.
 
Hamfist
Posts: 606
Joined: Wed Jan 30, 2002 9:40 am

RE: Friend Trying To Convert Me...HELP!

Tue Jan 07, 2003 10:25 am

Hey, why not just go with him? Nothing says you have to jump into baptism pool or get sprinkled with anything. I believe in God, however, I haven't set foot inside a church in quite some time. Why couldn't you do just the opposite--not believe in God, but accompany your friend to a church. Some of my best school-days memories come from summer trips and annual events with my church.

If he's your friend, it's certainly not going to hurt to take him up on his invite to attend once or twice. Having done so, it will help your case a lot more if/when you decide to tell him that scene just isn't for you.

On a side note--my best friend and I are each strong supporters of rival colleges. The one day each year that these schools play football is the one day of the year that we agree to go our own ways...hell, we don't even call each other that day. We recognize that's something we'll just never agree on, so we never really involve that in our friendship. It's worked for well over 15 years now.
 
174thfwff
Posts: 2831
Joined: Thu Sep 04, 2003 12:47 am

RE: Friend Trying To Convert Me...HELP!

Tue Jan 07, 2003 10:29 am

If he is your friend he will respect that you do not believe in god. Just tell him flat out you do not have the same interest in this group as he does.

-174thfwff
Brooklyn, Queens, Manhattan, Staten, Uptown, what now? Lets make it happen.
 
aa61hvy
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Joined: Fri Nov 05, 1999 9:21 am

RE: Friend Trying To Convert Me...HELP!

Tue Jan 07, 2003 11:51 am

i say give his deal a try, not necessarily to accept his beliefs, but just to see what it is, after a while if it of no interest to you, tell him.
Go big or go home
 
sleekjet
Posts: 2006
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RE: Friend Trying To Convert Me...HELP!

Tue Jan 07, 2003 11:54 am

As a Christian, I would like to see you take a chance and go. But I also wish your friend knew when to let up. Christians who make themselves obnoxious don't do our cause any favors.
II Cor. 4:17-18
 
KROC
Posts: 18919
Joined: Mon May 08, 2000 11:19 am

RE: Friend Trying To Convert Me...HELP!

Tue Jan 07, 2003 12:08 pm

As a Catholic...if you don't want to go, then don't, and tell your friend to back off and respect your belief's.
 
Hepkat
Posts: 2134
Joined: Fri Aug 11, 2000 8:22 am

RE: Friend Trying To Convert Me...HELP!

Tue Jan 07, 2003 12:37 pm

Why not just be honest? I've found that no matter how complicated or difficult the issue, people appreciate honesty. You don't have to be rude or blunt, just politely and honestly explain how you feel. He's your friend so there's a very high probability that he'll accept your decision.
 
Guest

RE: Friend Trying To Convert Me...HELP!

Tue Jan 07, 2003 12:37 pm

As a highly religious person myself, I say basically the same thing as KROC. If you don't want to go, don't go. Your friend should respect that.
'Speed
 
vafi88
Posts: 2981
Joined: Sun Apr 08, 2001 10:32 am

RE: Friend Trying To Convert Me...HELP!

Tue Jan 07, 2003 12:48 pm

Well, as some of you said honesty is good, but I've tried that, and tried just arguing a bit with him also, but he's set his mind to making me go to this thing, where I don't want to that much, since I'm really happy being athiest and my life is far from being hell and I'm not a bad person at all...

He also told me a true story that his friend (athiest) got into some legal trouble where he was getting it on in his car and got caught, and was made to take a drug test for which he tested positive, and says he knows that I don't do drugs or act bad, but wants me to believe, and I tried everything, from family problems (what would happen if I was the only christian in our family) and dealing the fact that it would be hard for me to adapt to being christian and also me not believing...

I don't think he's trying to understand me, and I told him that he should also respect my beliefs even if I don't go to church but still am a good person.

Thanks for all of the replies so far!! They're all appreciated dearly.
I'd like to elect a president that has a Higher IQ than a retarted ant.
 
CX Flyboy
Posts: 6007
Joined: Sun Dec 26, 1999 6:10 pm

RE: Friend Trying To Convert Me...HELP!

Tue Jan 07, 2003 1:03 pm

To go slightly off topic, I never understood the ability of people to convert from one religion to another like they change their haistyles. I also never understood other people's efforts to convert other people. I am not religious myself, and never have been. No-one in my family really is either. However, isn't religion a true personal belief that for example, Jesus existed, or the stories in the bible really happened and that a particular god exists? How do you go from believing that one set of circumstances is true to suddenly and completely believing that it was all lies, and then picking up another set of beliefs then deciding that this new religion was, in fact what really happened?

It's like really believing the facts that point to the dinosaurs dying during a 'big bang' type event, and then suddenly one day with a friend deciding that you will convert, in the process deciding that the catastrophic event never really happened and that the dinosaurs simply died of disease, or lack of food or climate change. Can someone explain to me the rationale of changing religions?

I hope I have not offended anyone here. I truly know little about religion, but this is one thing that has always baffled me. I mean no disrespect and appreciate that everyone is entitled to their own beliefs, but someone please explain!
 
Hepkat
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Joined: Fri Aug 11, 2000 8:22 am

RE: Friend Trying To Convert Me...HELP!

Tue Jan 07, 2003 1:29 pm

Vaffi88, good friends, in my personal experience, are respectful of my beliefs and choices, even if they do not agree. I can't tell you how to choose your friends, but I do know that you shouldn't have to feel uncomfortable around them or feel guilty because you share different beliefs.

Whenever a "friend" refuses to respect my right to choose, i.e., he/she's more interested that I do things THEIR way, I begin an immediate reevaluation of that friendship.
 
LHMark
Posts: 7048
Joined: Fri Jan 21, 2000 2:18 am

RE: Friend Trying To Convert Me...HELP!

Tue Jan 07, 2003 2:08 pm

If he won't let up, no matter what, look him in the eye and tell him to stop trying to maniupulate you or F**k off.

Sometimes, we discover that are friends aren't the friends we thought they were.
"Sympathy is something that shouldn't be bestowed on the Yankees. Apparently it angers them." - Bob Feller
 
vafi88
Posts: 2981
Joined: Sun Apr 08, 2001 10:32 am

RE: Friend Trying To Convert Me...HELP!

Tue Jan 07, 2003 2:19 pm

Thanks guys, I appreciate all of the replies, I'll try some of them tomorrow...hope he listens...
I'd like to elect a president that has a Higher IQ than a retarted ant.
 
Guest

RE: Friend Trying To Convert Me...HELP!

Tue Jan 07, 2003 2:25 pm

I think Hepkat is absolutely right. Although, I can't quite figure out why this friend of yours is so bent on converting you. I would have given up a long time ago.

It just goes to show that we can't absolutely control other people, although some people sure try (my ex-fiance, for example--dodged a bullet there!). The fact of the matter is that the greater "tunnel-vision" we get, or the more bent we become on making one single thing happen, the more we become blind to the periphery, which often contains the solution to our problems.

And who knows what would happen if your friend just let it drop. Maybe you'd come around. And maybe you wouldn't. I don't understand why he's trying to make your decision his own.

'Speed
 
vafi88
Posts: 2981
Joined: Sun Apr 08, 2001 10:32 am

RE: Friend Trying To Convert Me...HELP!

Tue Jan 07, 2003 2:32 pm

I'm really thinking he thinks that if I'm athiest, that I'll become a bad person and do drugs, and be a bad kid in general, but You never know, he has a good heart, and I know that he wants the best for me, and so do I, but I don't think religion is best for me (note: ME)...I guess we'll have to see....
I'd like to elect a president that has a Higher IQ than a retarted ant.
 
KAL_LM
Posts: 492
Joined: Fri Jun 29, 2001 8:58 am

RE: Friend Trying To Convert Me...HELP!

Tue Jan 07, 2003 2:41 pm

It sounds a little like your friend has the "Born again" virus. After spending 4 years at a Christian university, I've seen it a million times. Person converts, gets very passionate about his new faith, tries to get everyone around them irregardless of their own beliefs to join him/her and won't relent until you do. They feel so blessed and happy with their new lives that they want eveyone to feel the same thing, regardless of their own belief structure.

There is a couple ways to deal with it. 1. Tell them you're not interested (which you've already done). 2. Go with them to get them off your back (this works, although it may make them believe you are really into it and keep at you). 3. Talk to them, give them time to deal and ask them to respect your beliefs and your right to refuse...or tell him to back off.

If he is any sort of friend, or a reasonably mature person, he should respect your refusal and beliefs. Let him know that you don't neccessarily disagree with what he is saying, but that it isn't for you. Hopefully he will respect what you're saying and drop it. If not, avoidance works well too!

Best of Luck!

regards,
Tom
is that a light at the end of the tunnel or just a train?
 
Guest

RE: Friend Trying To Convert Me...HELP!

Tue Jan 07, 2003 2:43 pm

If there's one thing I've learned from the non-aviation section, it's that there are many athiests that are good people. In fact, I'd say that there are athiests that I would trust over some of the "believers." Trust me, there's some pretty rotten "believers" out there. So I'm personally not concerned about that at all. I'm just wondering why your friend thinks that athiesm is the "express train" as it were to the sordid life. Surely he knows you better!

And remember, I say all this as a vigorous practitioner of religion.

'Speed
 
mirrodie
Posts: 6789
Joined: Wed Apr 19, 2000 3:33 am

RE: Friend Trying To Convert Me...HELP!

Tue Jan 07, 2003 2:44 pm

Vafi, you are probably right about what he may bethinking. My experience is that the "holy roller" types tend to cast a downward eye on others. Not that I am saying he is doing it, but there is tons of religious hypocrisy abound.

You don;t you just take him to band camp and, opps, wrong situation  Wink/being sarcastic
Forum moderator 2001-2010; He's a pedantic, pontificating, pretentious bastard, a belligerent old fart, a worthless st
 
Guest

RE: Friend Trying To Convert Me...HELP!

Tue Jan 07, 2003 7:38 pm

Vaffi88,

Here is my experience in High School with organised religion. I was bought up an atheist and told that *god does not exist* by my mother. However a friend of mine wanted me to attend the ISCF camp and celebrations. (ISCF = Interschool Christian Felowship)

I did join and at first it was all rather daunting as I had *no idea* of the bible or any of it's teachings, so I studies it and attended these christian things. My mother was scathing but that made me more determined to discover what all the fuss about religion was about.

I got a great uplifting experience of the whole thing at first, then felt rather ordinary after a week at this *camp christian* thing. The beliefs and statutes that they tried to empower us with simple were a load of bollocks in my mind eventually. I didn't find god, what I found was a bunch of people pretending to find god. It was quite strange. The whole thing was lost on me as I couldn't bring my intelligent mind to beleive in a supreme being when it just didn't work for me. I beleive in myself and the goodness of others but not the whole god thing.

Take the chance and get educated in the whole thing. If you find god then you find god. But my mother was right when she wished me good luck when the car came to pick us up to go to the big camp thing. She said to me sarcastically "watch out if some of the older guys drop the soap and ask you to pick it up*. I didn't get it at the time but do now. lol

Some good advice though, if there is a god, then if you have read the various religeous texts you don't really need to worship him, if you live your life in a nice manner and don't hurt others your probably guaranteed something good when you die and whatever that is.

No-one knows and that is the problem, the Raelians could be right with the amount of information we have. I don't discount anything, use your conscience and be a good person. We all want to be.

Take care, but if you have an curious mind and will not allow people to brainscrub you then you can hardly beleive in religion. It's preposterous. It makes no sense in a modern world.

So take a look and if it looks like cowshit then it's cowshit. Tell your friend afterward that it's not for me and I appreciate you concern for my soul but I think it's under control.

If he is persistent then drop him as a friend, nothing worse than a god botherer trying to convert you. Ugh!

And remember that most christians DO NOT practice what they preach, they use their religon for hatred and war.

mb

clowns=open sewer
 
flyboy36y
Posts: 2897
Joined: Sun Mar 19, 2000 1:45 pm

RE: Friend Trying To Convert Me...HELP!

Tue Jan 07, 2003 11:03 pm

I am also an atheist. If your friend thinks being an atheist is the reason his friend has leagal troubles then he needs to take a step back and reflect on what god means to him. I used to be relligious and I know what god meant to be before I began questioning his/her existance. God was all loving and all caring. He would not ruin someone's life for not believing in him. A good person is a good person. A bad person is a bad person.

Your friend should respect your beliefs. I understand exactly how awkward it will be for you to go to that group. I've found relligious groups frown on atheists. Let him know that you value his friendship, but remind him that he enjoys your friendship without you trying to convince him that there is no higher being, you would like to enjoy his without him trying to drag you into his fold.
 
heavymetal
Posts: 4442
Joined: Fri May 08, 2015 3:37 am

RE: Friend Trying To Convert Me...HELP!

Tue Jan 07, 2003 11:18 pm

If he is your friend he will respect that you do not believe in god.

Unless...one of the recurring messages he's getting in his newfound enlightenment is NOT to respect that choice.

Many many Christians are content with celebrating their fellowship....just "Us". But as Christianity in America becomes big business and ever more competitive, there is a need to determine a "Them" too......."They" who don't believe like "Us".....and work tirelessly to add new customers to "Us".

You're in dangerous ground. If he doesn't accept your choice and opinion now, it'll only get worse as he gets deeper and deeper into his choice.


 
donder10
Posts: 6944
Joined: Sun Oct 21, 2001 5:29 am

RE: Friend Trying To Convert Me...HELP!

Wed Jan 08, 2003 1:43 am

Tell him that you're a Buddhist.
 
Ilyushin96M
Posts: 2506
Joined: Sat Sep 04, 1999 3:15 am

RE: Friend Trying To Convert Me...HELP!

Wed Jan 08, 2003 1:49 am

I can understand someone's excitement about wanting to share their beliefs, but if a person isn't open to hearing them, or simply isn't interested for whatever reason, then it's appropriate to back off and let them be.

I went to church during most of my youth, but honestly never felt my beliefs fit in to the box of religion. A friend of mine considers himself to be a very strong Christian, and once started quoting all sorts of Bible verses to me...I can't remember why, just making a point, I think. Anyway, I finally told him if he didn't quit, I would block him off and not talk to him (this was via the internet) because I felt like he was getting carried away. He apologised, and that was the end of that.

I myself have participated in some really great seminars, and have often told friends about them, wanting them to come check out what's available and see if they are interested in participating. However, I don't press the issue if they say they aren't interested, whether they attend an introductory session or not. It's all about personal choice, and I respect that. Your friend should as well, where you are concerned.
 
MD-90
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Joined: Mon Jan 17, 2000 12:45 pm

RE: Friend Trying To Convert Me...HELP!

Wed Jan 08, 2003 2:56 am

I once hounded one of my friends who is Catholic, trying to get her to come back to my (Baptist) church, where she had been before. She doesn't go to church (or mass, I guess) down here herself. Eventually I made her cry, and after just two long AIM conversations I realized that I was just making her feel bad and I wasn't accomplishing anything. She forgave me for it, however. I just didn't want her to go to Hell, because I like her.
 
MD-90
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Joined: Mon Jan 17, 2000 12:45 pm

RE: Friend Trying To Convert Me...HELP!

Wed Jan 08, 2003 2:58 am

You may be a learning experience for him. He may find out that other people find it insulting when you try to push Christianity on them, and say they're not living like they should be. I've painfully learned that before.
 
Hepkat
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Joined: Fri Aug 11, 2000 8:22 am

RE: Friend Trying To Convert Me...HELP!

Wed Jan 08, 2003 3:07 am

I just didn't want her to go to Hell, because I like her.

Oh Lord, save us from our own ignorance and arrogance!
 
DE727UPS
Posts: 810
Joined: Wed Nov 22, 2000 10:55 am

RE: Friend Trying To Convert Me...HELP!

Wed Jan 08, 2003 5:29 am

Vafi....

You say you won't set foot in a church....I can understand and respect that. What you might want to do is find an activity with your friend that is in, what I call, a "low threat enviornment". You feel threatened by going in a church as an athiest....fine....no big deal. Any good church youth group will have activities that don't include things that non-Christians are intimidated by. My youth group has a "fun night" on Wednesdays where you can play basketball, do your homework with a math teacher available, listen to music, or whatever....no singing, no bible study, no prechin'...just a fun time....it IS held in our church, however. You could compromise with your friend by telling him you'd hang with him and his youth group whenever they have a fun type activity that is outside the church....like snowboarding trips or paint ball. Feel free to email if your interested... de727ups@hotmail...I won't try to convert you...promise....but might be able to help you with your friend situation if you have any other questions.
 
MD-90
Posts: 7835
Joined: Mon Jan 17, 2000 12:45 pm

RE: Friend Trying To Convert Me...HELP!

Wed Jan 08, 2003 6:10 am

Oh Hepkat, save me from your blathering and nonsense!

Now, watch how Hepkat's going to delete this but not his own post.....
 
AC320
Posts: 2809
Joined: Fri Jan 05, 2001 11:29 pm

RE: Friend Trying To Convert Me...HELP!

Wed Jan 08, 2003 7:01 am

After what you said you have the audacity to accuse Hepkat of blathering nonsense?
fuddle duddle
 
vafi88
Posts: 2981
Joined: Sun Apr 08, 2001 10:32 am

RE: Friend Trying To Convert Me...HELP!

Wed Jan 08, 2003 9:49 am

My other friend's church van comes to pick us up to eat at a local restaraunt from school at lunch, and I do that, but don't feel like getting into religion.

Thanks everyone!

Today, my friend completely forgot about it and started cussing everyone out.........go figure.....
I'd like to elect a president that has a Higher IQ than a retarted ant.
 
MD-90
Posts: 7835
Joined: Mon Jan 17, 2000 12:45 pm

RE: Friend Trying To Convert Me...HELP!

Wed Jan 08, 2003 10:18 am

What'd I say?







humph
 
AirT85
Posts: 1241
Joined: Wed Aug 25, 1999 12:36 am

RE: Friend Trying To Convert Me...HELP!

Wed Jan 08, 2003 10:28 am

Vafi: I saw your remark about what it would be like to be the only Christian in your family.
You probably don't know who Jennifer Knapp is, but she's become one of the leading female singers in Christian Music since her first album in 1998. She was an atheist until college, and started writing songs to explore her faith and share it with others. She's sold around a million albums (a respectable number for a Christian artist) and has touched thousands of lives, yet she remains the only Christian member of her family. Yes, it can be hard. But it can be done. Look at all she's accomplished. As a Christian myself, my advice would be the following. If you are truly uncomfortable setting foot in a Church, then don't. However, you arent commiting your life to Christ by stepping in and seeing what its about. Your friend should know when to stop pestering you, and should respect your beliefs as he wishes his to be respected, but maybe by going he'll back off, whether you decide to continue or not. And this way, you'll know what its like, he will too, and there'll be more weight to your wanting to not go. Who knows, it could be a good thing.
Tony
Why would God make us all so different, if He wanted us to be the same?
 
Hamfist
Posts: 606
Joined: Wed Jan 30, 2002 9:40 am

RE: Friend Trying To Convert Me...HELP!

Wed Jan 08, 2003 11:39 am

This topic is starting to turn into the cousin-thread of the "Military recruiters in my high school" conversation from about 6-8 weeks ago.

The bottom line is the same...if you don't just confront the other person(friend or recruiter) in a manner that clearly conveys that you aren't interested, it's reasonable to think that person will continue to push the subject.

 
Guest

RE: Friend Trying To Convert Me...HELP!

Wed Jan 08, 2003 12:17 pm

MD-90 wrote:

"I once hounded one of my friends who is Catholic, trying to get her to come back to my (Baptist) church, where she had been before" ... "I just didn't want her to go to Hell, because I like her."

So, according to this guy, Muslims, atheists, and even Catholics(!) are going to Hell? Wow, if this loon is right, it's going to be awfully crowded down there!

Back to the issue... There are some religious people who think that atheism is a bad thing, and that atheists are somehow more likely to lead immoral lives. Of course this is total nonsense, but many of these people have not met many atheists, so they are full of misconceptions about those who do not believe in God. Heck, even George Bush Sr. has stated (back in 1988) that atheists cannot be considered good citizens and patriots. Fortunately, most people of faith, even deeply religious ones, are much more open-minded than that, and realize that religion, including one's belief in God, is a profoundly personal matter.

You may want to go with your friend, for curiosity's sake, but if that doesn't make him stop, explain to him politely but firmly that religion (or lack thereof) is a personal matter and that his efforts to convert you make you uncomfortable. if he's a good friend, he will understand and respect your position.
 
MD-90
Posts: 7835
Joined: Mon Jan 17, 2000 12:45 pm

RE: Friend Trying To Convert Me...HELP!

Wed Jan 08, 2003 1:26 pm

Catholic yes, but the girl hadn't been to church since she was about 8. She'd come to ours for a while but stopped because she felt uncomfortable. I'm not saying that Catholics are going to Hell. That's a personal matter between a person and God.
 
ukair
Posts: 261
Joined: Tue Mar 27, 2001 11:36 am

RE: Friend Trying To Convert Me...HELP!

Wed Jan 08, 2003 1:41 pm

What are you afraid of if you go.

What are you afraid of if you don't go.

Who is in charge of your life.

You

or

Him.
 
Guest

RE: Friend Trying To Convert Me...HELP!

Wed Jan 08, 2003 1:46 pm

MD-90 wrote:

Catholic yes, but the girl hadn't been to church since she was about 8. She'd come to ours for a while but stopped because she felt uncomfortable. I'm not saying that Catholics are going to Hell.

Aah, I see, MD-90. So it's only atheists, agnostics, non-churchgoers, Buddhists, Muslims, Hindus, Jews, pagans, etc., who are going to Hell.  Yeah sure

But, wait...

"That's a personal matter between a person and God."

If that is really a personal matter between a person and his/her God, why have you said (right here on a.net) that atheists and Muslims are going to Hell? Those two positions seem to be very inconsistent.
 
SSTjumbo
Posts: 2579
Joined: Sun Jun 17, 2001 3:29 am

RE: Friend Trying To Convert Me...HELP!

Wed Jan 08, 2003 1:48 pm

If he were really Christian, he wouldn't be attempting to force you to do anything. Sounds like he has issues himself. I'm not sure he's as religious as he thinks he is. Perhaps he's become superstitious? My brain's shut down for the night, so I can't really process much more than that right now, but just remember to trust your heart on this one.

-Mike
A Devout Roman Catholic
I don't know, so this is my signature.
 
vafi88
Posts: 2981
Joined: Sun Apr 08, 2001 10:32 am

RE: Friend Trying To Convert Me...HELP!

Wed Jan 08, 2003 2:15 pm

Thanks guys, as I said, don't argue, thanks for those religious pople who posted not to attempt to convert me also and thanks to the athiests for not dissing on the religious....Good to have a good discussion once in a while.


Thank you all...

-Vitaly Kroychik
I'd like to elect a president that has a Higher IQ than a retarted ant.

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