Two women go out for the night without their husbands.
As they came back just before dawn both of them (as women do) decide that they need to pee. The only place nearby that they could stop was the local cemetery, although they were scared they decided that they had to go anyway.
The first one didn't have anything to clean herself with, so she took off her knickers and used them to clean herself before throwing them away. The second one thought "I'm not getting rid of my knickers" so she used the ribbon off a nearby flower wreath to clean herself - relieved the two women staggered on in their drunken journey home.
Th next morning the two husbands were talking to each other on the phone and one says to the other" We have to be on the look out, it seems that these two were up to no good last night. My wife came home with no panties on"
The other one responded " You're lucky! Mine came home with a card stuck to her arse that read "We will never forget you"
A woman meets a gorgeous man in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together. They get back to his place and as he shows her around his apartment, she notices that his bedroom is completely packed with sweet cuddly teddy bears. Hundreds of cute little bears on a shelf all the way along the floor. Cuddly medium sized ones on a shelf a little higher, and huge enormous bears on the top shelf along the wall.
The woman is a bit surprised that a man would have such a collection of teddy bears, especially one so extensive, but she decides not to mention this to him and is actually quite impressed that he can so freely express his sensitive side.
She turns to him ... they kiss .... and then they rip each others clothes off
and make hot steamy love.
After an intense night of passion with this sensitive man they are lying
together in the afterglow, the woman leans in to him and whispers "Well,
how was it?"
The man says..
"Not bad, help yourself to any prize from the bottom shelf."