There are these friends who play golf together every Saturday. One Saturday
they are getting ready to tee off when a guy, by himself, asks if he can
join them. The friends look at each other and then look at the guy and say,
So they tee off. About two holes into the game, the friends get curious
about what the guy does for a living. So they ask him. The stranger tells
them he's a hitman. The friends all laugh.
The guy says, "No really, I am a hitman. My gun is in my golf bag. I carry
it everywhere. You can take a look at it if you like."
So one of the friends decides to check it out. He opened the bag and, sure
enough, there is a rifle with a huge scope attached. He gets all excited and
says, "WOW! I bet I can see my house through here! May I look?" The hit man
So the guy looks for a second and says, "YEAH! You can see my house! I can
even see through the windows into my bedroom. There's my wife, naked. Isn't
she beautiful? WAIT! There's my next door neighbour! And he's naked too!"
This really upsets the guy, so he asks the hitman how much it would be for a
hit. The hitman replies, "I get £1000 every time I pull the trigger."
The guy responds, "£1000??? Well, ok. I want two hits. I want you to shoot
my wife right in the mouth. She's always nagging at me and I can't stand it.
Second, I want you to shoot my neighbour in the penis, just for screwing
around with my wife."
The hit man agrees, gears up and looks through the scope. He's looking for
about five minutes until finally the man starts to get really impatient and
asks, "What are you waiting for?!?
The hitman replies, "Just hold on..... I'm a about to save you a thousand