avt007
Posts: 1989
Joined: Mon Jul 10, 2000 4:51 am

Ten Signs Your Airline Is In Trouble.

Sat Apr 05, 2003 3:23 am

1: Management decides it's time for a whole new paint scheme and "corporate image".

2: Management starts making tours of bases, saying everything is fine.

3: They use the phrase "one time expense" when explaining losses.

4: You get a letter extolling the virtues of a share purchase plan.

5: Senior managers decide to "pursue other interests".

6: Human Resources puts on "dealing with change" seminars.

7: HR distributes the seniority list and asks everyone to make sure it's accurate.

8: The water cooler and free coffee disappears.

9: The guys you've worked with for ten years are suddenly interested in your start date.

10: The sports section isn't the most popular part of the paper anymore.

Any others?
 
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yyz717
Posts: 15689
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RE: Ten Signs Your Airline Is In Trouble.

Sat Apr 05, 2003 3:34 am

How about:
11. Carl Icahn's name is in the visitor's log at HQ reception,
12. Frank Lorenzo is seen having lunch with the CFO,
13. The airline decides to switch from a Boeing fleet to an Airbus fleet (I'm kidding),
14. The airline orders both the 73G and the A320,
15. The airline begins a low-cost "lite" subsidiary,
16. Customers provide feedback that Ryanair has better inflight service,
17. When getting bumped up to first class is more of a hassle than a gift,
18. When the CEO talks about ordering the 777 soon when the largest aircraft currently in your fleet is the 737-200.


I dumped at the gybe mark in strong winds when I looked up at a Porter Q400 on finals. Can't stop spotting.
 
B747-437B
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RE: Ten Signs Your Airline Is In Trouble.

Sat Apr 05, 2003 5:03 am

19. Its name is United.
"The A340-300 may boast a long range, but the A340 is underpowered" -- Robert Milton, CEO - Air Canada
 
HOMER71
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Joined: Fri Jul 20, 2001 10:56 pm

RE: Ten Signs Your Airline Is In Trouble.

Sat Apr 05, 2003 5:10 am

20. When your airline's website has a news release on its main page.
"On spaceship earth there are no passengers...only crew."
 
MxCtrlr
Posts: 2312
Joined: Tue Nov 13, 2001 11:22 am

RE: Ten Signs Your Airline Is In Trouble.

Sat Apr 05, 2003 5:11 am

Hey, it may sound funny but I actually use the "No more coffee service" as a yard stick. Every airline I have ever worked for that went under, about 6-12 months before going bye-bye, stopped the office coffee service "to cut costs". Its kind of my barometer for how things are going...

A few others...

Maintenance is unable to get spare parts for the aircraft (have to rob the inbound aircraft to complete the check on the outbound aircraft).

Ground crews cannot get the ground support equipment repaired.

Company demands that all employees attend classes in resume development (they actually did this at PA about 4 months before we went under).

MxCtrlr  Smile/happy/getting dizzy
Freight Dogs Anonymous - O.O.T.S.K.  Smokin cool
DAMN! This SUCKS! I just had to go to the next higher age bracket in my profile! :-(
 
jcs17
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RE: Ten Signs Your Airline Is In Trouble.

Sat Apr 05, 2003 5:27 am

21. Your F/A's and pilots overnight at the airport, often sleeping on the same benches as stranded non-revs

22. Leasing companies meet your aircraft at the gate more often than baggage handlers.
America's chickens are coming home to rooooost!
 
goingboeing
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RE: Ten Signs Your Airline Is In Trouble.

Sat Apr 05, 2003 5:29 am

23. The captain has to pay the fuel bill with his Exxon card.
 
avt007
Posts: 1989
Joined: Mon Jul 10, 2000 4:51 am

RE: Ten Signs Your Airline Is In Trouble.

Sat Apr 05, 2003 5:47 am

24: Another true one; Strangers with measuring tapes show up at the hangar, muttering "do you think the tail will fit throught the door?" to each other.

 
Marcus
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Joined: Fri Apr 20, 2001 5:08 am

RE: Ten Signs Your Airline Is In Trouble.

Sat Apr 05, 2003 6:33 am

25.- Meals are no longer served but the ticket price remains the same......oh wait! nevermind.
Kids!....we are going to the happiest place on earth...TIJUANA! signed: Krusty the Clown
 
AWspicious
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Joined: Fri Sep 14, 2001 7:47 am

RE: Ten Signs Your Airline Is In Trouble.

Sat Apr 05, 2003 6:57 am

26. They eliminate the olive from your martini.

27. During turn-arounds, the flight crew instruct the groomers just give it a lick and a promise
Nevermind political correctness - Envision using your turn signals!
 
Arsenal@LHR
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Joined: Tue Mar 20, 2001 2:55 am

RE: Ten Signs Your Airline Is In Trouble.

Sat Apr 05, 2003 7:12 am

28. When your in-flight service is rated lower than Ryanair's. Embarrassment
In Arsene we trust!!
 
MxCtrlr
Posts: 2312
Joined: Tue Nov 13, 2001 11:22 am

RE: Ten Signs Your Airline Is In Trouble.

Sat Apr 05, 2003 7:51 am

How about...

They remove one olive from the salad, just to save money...

They stop providing hot, moist towels in First Class....

They eliminate meal services altogether and try to emulate successful airlines

MxCtrlr  Smile/happy/getting dizzy
Freight Dogs Anonymous - O.O.T.S.K.  Smokin cool
DAMN! This SUCKS! I just had to go to the next higher age bracket in my profile! :-(
 
HOMER71
Posts: 2124
Joined: Fri Jul 20, 2001 10:56 pm

RE: Ten Signs Your Airline Is In Trouble.

Sat Apr 05, 2003 8:47 am

32. They start showing color test patterns on the PTVs
"On spaceship earth there are no passengers...only crew."
 
victech
Posts: 541
Joined: Sun Jun 11, 2000 9:46 am

RE: Ten Signs Your Airline Is In Trouble.

Sat Apr 05, 2003 8:58 am

They start showing color test patterns on the PTVs

Oh, I dunno, that might be an improvement over some of the other stuff they usually show on the IFE... Big grin
 
avt007
Posts: 1989
Joined: Mon Jul 10, 2000 4:51 am

RE: Ten Signs Your Airline Is In Trouble.

Sat Apr 05, 2003 9:44 am

They announce that your airline is taking over its' biggest competitor.
 
tu154m
Posts: 610
Joined: Tue Oct 02, 2001 4:52 am

RE: Ten Signs Your Airline Is In Trouble.

Sat Apr 05, 2003 1:57 pm

They are US based.
S
CEOs should swim with cement flippers!
 
L-188
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RE: Ten Signs Your Airline Is In Trouble.

Sat Apr 05, 2003 7:12 pm

34.....You Just know you would get in trouble if you gave in on 35, 36 and 37.
OBAMA-WORST PRESIDENT EVER....Even SKOORB would be better.
 
DC10GUY
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Joined: Fri Feb 18, 2000 5:52 am

RE: Ten Signs Your Airline Is In Trouble.

Sun Apr 06, 2003 1:55 am

#35 you get a letter from the CEO telling you how your pension plan has been "enhanced"....(ATV007 your one about the hanger is too real to be funny)
Next time try the old "dirty Sanchez" She'll love it !!!
 
jm-airbus320
Posts: 294
Joined: Tue Aug 29, 2000 2:49 am

RE: Ten Signs Your Airline Is In Trouble.

Sun Apr 06, 2003 2:04 am

When you non rev tickets cost nearly as much as regular ones.

Jm-airbus320
 
POSITIVE RATE
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Joined: Sun Sep 16, 2001 11:31 am

RE: Ten Signs Your Airline Is In Trouble.

Sun Apr 06, 2003 2:18 am

37: When your airline is taken over by Air NZ
 
TSV
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Joined: Wed Nov 03, 1999 12:13 pm

RE: Ten Signs Your Airline Is In Trouble.

Sun Apr 06, 2003 3:06 am

Top marks for that one Positive rate!!!
"I told you I was ill ..." Spike Milligan
 
srbmod
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Joined: Tue Mar 20, 2001 1:32 pm

RE: Ten Signs Your Airline Is In Trouble.

Sun Apr 06, 2003 6:05 am

38. When the company that provides uniforms won't yet you get new ones through payroll deduction.
 
jhooper
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Joined: Thu Dec 13, 2001 8:27 pm

RE: Ten Signs Your Airline Is In Trouble.

Mon Apr 07, 2003 5:41 pm

39. The airline takes steps to "more closely align its ticket policies to reflect the value realized as passengers purchase different fares."
Last year 1,944 New Yorkers saw something and said something.
 
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BNE
Posts: 2921
Joined: Fri Mar 31, 2000 9:37 pm

RE: Ten Signs Your Airline Is In Trouble.

Mon Apr 07, 2003 8:05 pm

40. They stop serving meals on flights.
41. The insurance company won't even honour any of the tickets that the airline is selling.
42. Their competitor doesn't even want to buy them for $1.00
43. They say that they have enough cash reserves to see out any short term committments.
44. The airlines logo appears with other now defunct airline logos. Airways May 2003 Page 57.
Why fly non stop when you can connect

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