USAFHummer
Topic Author
Posts: 10261
Joined: Thu May 18, 2000 12:22 pm

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Tue Apr 15, 2003 12:14 am

A relative of mine sent me this...I thought it was hilarious so Ill share it with you guys/gals...

Why did the chicken cross the road?

GEORGE W. BUSH
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.

AL GORE
I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken
crossing the road represented the application of these two different
functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater services to the American people.

COLIN POWELL
Now at the left of the screen, you clearly see the satellite image of the
chicken crossing the road.

HANZ BLIX
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been
allowed access to the other side of the road.

MOHAMMED ALDOURI (Iraq ambassador)
The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication. We
don't even have a chicken.

SADDAM HUSSEIN
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in
dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it

RALPH NADER
The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted
by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled
habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels
of a gas-guzzling SUV.

PAT BUCHANAN
To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.

RUSH LIMBAUGH
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting
a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out there is
already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road
syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans
take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to cross.

MARTHA STEWART
No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price
dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider
information.

JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the
plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other
side." That's what they call it -- the other side. Yes, my friends, that
chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I
say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."

DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, The chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed, I've not been told!

ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die. In the rain. Alone.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without
having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us
that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

BARBARA WALTERS
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the
chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its
life-long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.

ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX
It was an historical inevitability.

VOLTAIRE
I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the death
its right to do it.

RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?

CAPTAIN KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

FOX MULDER
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens have
to cross before you believe it?

SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road
reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES
I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads, but
will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook -
and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the
chicken?

BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken?
Could you define chicken, please?

COLONEL SANDERS
I missed one?

Greg
Chief A.net college football stadium self-pic guru
 
tbar220
Posts: 6706
Joined: Wed Feb 02, 2000 12:08 pm

RE: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Tue Apr 15, 2003 12:28 am

Seen it before, but still get a chuckle at it every time.  Laugh out loud
NO URLS in signature
 
KROC
Posts: 18919
Joined: Mon May 08, 2000 11:19 am

RE: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Tue Apr 15, 2003 1:02 am

The best reply is the last...Colonel Sanders!  Big grin
 
747-451
Posts: 2327
Joined: Wed Oct 04, 2000 5:50 am

RE: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Tue Apr 15, 2003 2:05 am

when is service pack 476 comming out for eChicken 2003?
 
airplay
Posts: 3369
Joined: Sat Oct 25, 2003 1:58 am

RE: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Tue Apr 15, 2003 3:08 am

Clinton: I did not have sexual relations with that young sweet tender chicken....
 
airplay
Posts: 3369
Joined: Sat Oct 25, 2003 1:58 am

RE: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Tue Apr 15, 2003 3:18 am

Just to be fair....

Chretien: We did not ‘ave the ‘elicopter ready to take ‘im across the road, so…like anyone who want to be on the udder side, you gotta walk. Or spend one hundred eighty tousand to send ‘im on a boat. But we ‘ave no more budget for dat….so he gonna walk tabernac….
 
IMissPiedmont
Posts: 6200
Joined: Wed May 23, 2001 12:58 pm

RE: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Tue Apr 15, 2003 3:29 pm

Oh you do not want to hear my answer to the question, you really don't, trust me. I could get censured if I said.
The day you stop learning is the day you should die.
 
MxCtrlr
Posts: 2312
Joined: Tue Nov 13, 2001 11:22 am

RE: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Tue Apr 15, 2003 5:24 pm

Iraqi Minister of (mis)Information: The infidel chicken is not within 100km of Baghdad. We do not even have any roads in Baghdad. That is an utter fabrication by the Americans; those gansters; those boa snakes. We will cut this chicken and the chicken will burn in hell for crossing our roads...

Bill Clinton: Yes the chicken crossed the road, but I did not impale!

MxCtrlr  Smile/happy/getting dizzy
Freight Dogs Anonymous - O.O.T.S.K.  Smokin cool
DAMN! This SUCKS! I just had to go to the next higher age bracket in my profile! :-(
 
cfalk
Posts: 10221
Joined: Mon Dec 04, 2000 6:38 pm

RE: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Tue Apr 15, 2003 5:27 pm

Q: Why did the pervert cross the road?
A: Because his di#k was stuck in the chicken.

Charles
The only thing you should feel when shooting a terrorist: Recoil.
 
LPL
Posts: 1038
Joined: Mon Oct 29, 2001 2:13 am

RE: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Tue Apr 15, 2003 8:04 pm

ARSENE WENGER (Arsenal Manager)
To be fair I didn't see the chicken cross the road, but I guess the referee was right because he's very honest.
 
EGGD
Posts: 11880
Joined: Sat Feb 24, 2001 12:01 am

RE: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Tue Apr 15, 2003 8:09 pm

I've heard it before but its still funny.

Anyone have the one about Cows as well?? Or something like that...
 
ryanb741
Posts: 5058
Joined: Thu Mar 28, 2002 6:36 pm

RE: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Tue Apr 15, 2003 8:13 pm

Another Arsene Wenger reply;

From my position I couldn't see if the chicken crossed the road or not. But I do know that he gets picked on by other chickens who go unpunished. He would never deliberately cross the road without provocation.
I used to think the brain is the most fascinating part of my body. But, hey, who is telling me that?
 
gkirk
Posts: 23347
Joined: Thu Jun 15, 2000 3:29 am

RE: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Tue Apr 15, 2003 11:33 pm

Jacques Chirac:
He was the only one of our army who didnt surrender! Long live the chicken!

KROC:
I love chickens

Arsenal@LHR:
Whats a chicken? Is it a fish?!?!
When you hear the noise of the Tartan Army Boys, we'll be coming down the road!
 
IMissPiedmont
Posts: 6200
Joined: Wed May 23, 2001 12:58 pm

RE: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Wed Apr 16, 2003 2:15 pm

And a moderator posted my answer. Maybe I'd have remained?
The day you stop learning is the day you should die.
 
redngold
Posts: 6673
Joined: Wed Mar 22, 2000 12:26 pm

RE: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Wed Apr 16, 2003 2:19 pm

Redngold: Hey, the chicken crossing the road is a really cool thing. Let me tell you some more about how chickens cross roads, and then I have a story about how I saw a chicken cross the road in real life!

 Big grin
Up, up and away!
 
flyboy36y
Posts: 2897
Joined: Sun Mar 19, 2000 1:45 pm

RE: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Wed Apr 16, 2003 2:54 pm

I

HATE

SOMETHING AWFUL

[Edited 2003-04-16 07:56:35]
 
gotAirbus
Posts: 791
Joined: Fri May 18, 2001 10:02 am

RE: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Wed Apr 16, 2003 3:06 pm

Guys, start from scratch!!





















whoops...scratch! is that the chicken crossing the road again?

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