silverfox
Posts: 1029
Joined: Thu Mar 15, 2001 8:39 am

Tuesdays Chuckles

Wed Apr 30, 2003 2:58 am

...when your pony slobbers over you, is it a horse spittle case?



I overheard my wife talking to her friend yesterday......

I have my own system for labeling homemade freezer meals.

Forget calling them "Veal Parmigiana" or "Turkey Loaf" or "Beef Pot Pie."

If you look in my freezer you'll see "Whatever," "Anything," "I Don't Know,"
and, my favorite, "Food."

That way when I ask my husband what he wants for dinner, I'm certain to have
what he wants."


A guy was on the side of the road hitchhiking on a very dark night and in
the middle of a storm. The night was rolling on and no car went by. The
storm was so strong he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him.

Suddenly he saw a car coming toward him and stop.

Without thinking about it, the guy got into the back seat, closed the door
and then realized there was nobody behind the wheel! The car started
slowly; the guy looked at the road and saw a curve coming his way. Scared,
he started to pray begging for his life. He hadn't come out of shock, when
just before he hit the curve, a hand appeared through the window and moved
the wheel. The guy, paralyzed in terror, watched how the hand appeared
every time right before a curve.

Gathering his strength, the guy finally jumped out of the car and ran to the
nearest town. Wet and in shock, he went to a restaurant and started telling
everybody about the horrible experience he went through.

A silence enveloped everybody when they realized the guy was serious.

About half an hour later, two guys walked in the same restaurant. They
looked around for a table when one said to the other,

"Look John, that's the dummy who got in the car when we were pushing it."



An Australian woman was having a shower and slipped over on the bathroom
floor.
Instead of slipping over forwards or backwards, she slipped over, did the
splits and suctioned herself to the floor.

She yelled our for her husband Jacko, "Jacko! Jacko!" she yelled.

Jacko came running in.

"Jacko, I've bloody suctioned myself to the floor" she said.

"Strewth!" Jacko said and tried to pull he up. "You're too heavy girl. I'll
go across the road and get Bluey" (his mate).

They came back and the both tried to pull her up.

"No. We can't do it"

Bluey said "Let's try Plan C"

"What's that"?

"I'll go home and get my hammer and chisel and we'll break the tiles under
her"

"Spot on" Jacko said. "Whilst your doing that, I'll stay here and play with
her tits"

"Play with here tits"? Bluey said, "Why the hell would you want to do that"?

Jacko replied, "Well, I reckon if I can get her wet enough, we can slide her
into the kitchen were the tiles aren't so expensive to replace"
--



The other day I heard that the Iraqis are getting
upset because people keep referring to them as "towel heads".
Apparently, they do not wear towels on their heads, they wear
sheets. In the future, when you refer to them, please use their
correct name "sheet heads".



 
tbar220
Posts: 6706
Joined: Wed Feb 02, 2000 12:08 pm

RE: Tuesdays Chuckles

Wed Apr 30, 2003 4:12 am

LOL, that's great  Laugh out loud

I love seeing these threads every week, keep em coming!  Big thumbs up
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teahan
Posts: 4989
Joined: Sun Nov 21, 1999 11:18 pm

RE: Tuesdays Chuckles

Wed Apr 30, 2003 4:53 am

Goodbye SR-LX MD-11 / 6th of March 1991 to the 31st of October 2004
 
Jaspike
Posts: 4843
Joined: Sat Feb 23, 2008 1:40 pm

RE: Tuesdays Chuckles

Wed Apr 30, 2003 5:04 am

Why don't they teach people to drive and sex education on the same day in Iraq?

So they don't wear out the camel... Big thumbs up


I'm waiting for the sort of  Sleepy Sleepy Sleepy replies hehe... got that one from a book, I might post funnier ones when I can be bothered.  Big thumbs up

Josh

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