You want to talk about wierd, how about Grace-this girl I once met in Fresno who lived in Madera (about 20 minutes north of Fresno)?
True story. She had to be the strangest, flakiest, sluttiest, and most uptight person I've ever known all wrapped into one.
The first day I met her (please don't even ask me to explain that) I ended up taking her home to get a change of clothes. Then we went all the way out to the boonies near Centerville and Sanger where my aunt/uncle lived at the time. She was adamant that she get 'ready' for our night out THERE. Why she couldn't do it at home, who the hell knows. She must've spent a good 90 minutes in the bathroom (locked of course) doing God knows what. Me and the family were wondering what the hell she was doing in there. Was she real slow? Was she getting REALLY dolled up? Was she doing some lines? Did she die in the bathtub?
Finally she came out and we took off. We went out to Fresno (not a whole lot to do up there) and did whatever....I think we cruised up and down Blackstone a couple of times (trying carefully not to be caught b/c Fresno has some very nasty anti "cruising" laws).
Later on, around midnight, she said that she wanted to get "busy". So we drove off out into the sticks, and found a nice very dark spot to park, and we got busy, if you know what I mean.
Well, although she was there for the taking, I couldn't get the job done. Not because I couldn't rise to the occasion. She must've been a virgin (or maybe it was just the position of the seats, but I doubted that because I had successfully banged several other women in the same care and the same position in the past) or something because, and I say this with a beet red face, I could not get "in" her. My "Tool" kept sliding around and around, but wouldn't go in. Have you ever fumbled with an electric prong in the dark or in a hard to reach place? You know, where you keep missing the receptacle? It was like that. After a good twenty minutes of this, I finally gave up and took her back home. I would've rented a room (like I do now) but at the time, I was too cheap.
She never said a word about it. All things considered, in the end, she seemed pretty indifferent about it. Maybe she was a lot smarter than she let on and was simply clenching just to piss me off. Who knows.
A few weeks later, she called me up. She wanted me to take her to Disneyland. Even though her parents were also coming down for that particular weekend, she refused to hitch a ride with them because she wanted ME
to pick her up.
Hell no was I going to drive from West Covina to Madera, BACK to Orange County, then BACK to Madera again to drop her off, and then BACK to West Covina again. I just wasn't going to do it. After that, she stopped talking to me, although every now and then, my aunt threatens to give her my new phone number and address. I'm sure that she's just kidding, but then again, she DOES know Grace's parents......