Just a word to the wise here guys:
Beware of the woman that attemps to shower you with flattery. I know. I'm right in the middle of it right now, and am proceeding very, VERY cautiously.
Let me give you a little background.
There is this woman I know. She has had a lot of personal issues. But that's not really important as it relates to this.
Back in December, out of the blue, she called me up and wanted to chat. Now mind you, I hadn't talked to her for the better part of the year. All of my earlier calls and messages had gone unanswered. So I had basically just written her off.
But after about a week of talking, she said that she wanted to see me.
Then she hit me with it.
She wanted to borrow some money (I won't say how much, but it wasn't no twenty bucks) because she had lost her job (which I had already known about because her former employer happens to be someone I deal with all the time) and was in a pinch to meet her bills for the month.
I was a little reluctant, but I had known her for a long time, so I agreed to float her the loan. we made plans to get together in another week.
Well like clockwork, every single day during that week, she called me up, acting as my best friend, droppng little *hints*, if you catch my drift.
Finally, the day came, and I drove up there to see her. we went out to breakfast, and hung out for several hours. It was actually a nice visit. During that whole time, she never once made any mention about the loan. But she said that she'd like to 'hook up' "tomorrow".
She then goes on to say that she has to run a lot of errands, job interviews, and so on, but to call her the next day.
As we were getting eady to say goodbye, I pulled out the money and handed it to her. She asked "what was that?"
I told her..."ummm..it's the money you asked for".
Well she didn't have much else to say. She did seem genuinely humbled and/or embarrassed to ask for it.
So being a guy who's motto is "ass, gas, or grass: no one rides for free" (and I doubt that you'll find a guy anywhere who doesn't, on some level, practice this as well), I thought "well it's time to collect..."
so I called her up, the next day like she told me to, to set up our meeting.
By some mysterious bad luck, she had come down with bronchitis.
Right. I'll believe that as soon as I find a Rap Singer who believes OJ was guilty.
Not surprisingly, I didn't hear a word from her. This was back in December. She FINALLY called me back in May, offering to "pay the loan back".
I told her to just forget it because 1) I'm an idiot, 2) I really care about this girl, and 3) deep down inside, I do have a generous giving heart for those I care about. She argue with me for a few minutes, but I just told her to drop it.
Fast forward to last night.
I'm already laying in bed, falling asleep when my phone rings.
She went on for a good two hours telling me about her latest round of problems including her dad being in the hospital, her credit cards being delinquent, and how she needs new tires for her truck and can't afford them.
she followed up with a good 20 minute smooch session telling me about how "cool", "nice", "articulate", "beautiful eyes I (meaning me) have", and just on and on.
She kept up with this until almost midnight. Now she's calling me again. She's already called me twice this morning, and told me to call her this afternoon.
I know EXACTLY where this is going: Sooner or later (I;m guessing this afternoon, or tomorrow at the latest), she's going to hit me up for some cash again. But, I got burned on the last one with her. I'm not quite as eager to "help" her this time. Problem is, I haven't figured out how to sidestep this attack. Because although I care about her, it's not like helping a guy friend, or a family member, where there ARE no strings attached. After all, she is a "special" friend, so to speak. I expect some kind of 'benefits'. Not necessarily $ex, but at least a thank you card, or a homemade dinner, or even just a call once in awhile to say "hi".
Please keep in mind that I have, on more than one occassion offered to take this woman in and take care of her as my girlfriend, which is not something I would do for just anyone. So right away, you know she means a lot to me. She *claims* to be taking my offer *seriously* this time.
So now I have the following questions in my mind:
1. Does she really care, or is she just looking to get something for nothing (like so many women are notorious for doing)?
2. Do you think it's cheap or wrong for me to expect
SOMETHING in return?
3. Men have been supporting women and chasing them in one way or another since the dawn of history. Even in todays so called "gender equal" environment, you still see men using money to get $ex and women using $ex to get money on a daily basis (keeping in mind that merely the
THOUGHT of getting some is almost as good as a credit card.) Should I feel bad because of this-especially since I really DO
care for her as a person, and not just a 'piece', even though I still don't really know how she feels. She's not stupid. She's going to try and kill me with kindness, and tell me what she thinks I want to hear so as to have easier access to my wallet.
Or so SHE thinks.
So just a word to the wise guys. If a woman you've known for a long time but ignoring you suddenly starts being a little TOO nice, chances are, she hasn't taken sudden notice to our charm or wit.
Remember (as I learned) "Once bitten, twice shy".