cancidas
Posts: 3985
Joined: Thu Jul 03, 2003 7:34 am

One-Liners: Best And Worst.

Thu Jul 17, 2003 11:41 am

What are the best, worst, favourite, despised one liners you've heard? And do say if they make you feel  Pissed , or  Confused, or  Yawn.
"...cannot the kingdom of salvation take me home."
 
bigphilnyc
Posts: 3874
Joined: Sat Jan 19, 2002 10:43 pm

RE: One-Liners: Best And Worst.

Thu Jul 17, 2003 11:42 am

I hate this. When you're asked about 'em, you cna never remember them. lol

Phil Derner Jr.
 
BlatantEcho
Posts: 1815
Joined: Wed Sep 27, 2000 10:11 am

RE: One-Liners: Best And Worst.

Thu Jul 17, 2003 12:43 pm

hey baby........are those space pants? cuz your ass is outta this world.


*sigh*
George
They're not handing trophies out today
 
AerLingus
Posts: 2280
Joined: Wed Mar 08, 2000 9:22 am

RE: One-Liners: Best And Worst.

Thu Jul 17, 2003 12:49 pm

Think it's bad now? Just wait...this cold sore is just gettin' started.
Get your patchouli stink outta my store!
 
bigphilnyc
Posts: 3874
Joined: Sat Jan 19, 2002 10:43 pm

RE: One-Liners: Best And Worst.

Thu Jul 17, 2003 12:59 pm

I dont think he meant pickup lines. I think he meant jokes like "I was thinking about shaving my head and telling people that I dyed it clear."
Phil Derner Jr.
 
AerLingus
Posts: 2280
Joined: Wed Mar 08, 2000 9:22 am

RE: One-Liners: Best And Worst.

Thu Jul 17, 2003 1:11 pm

Oh...
In that case, a computer beat me at chess once but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Get your patchouli stink outta my store!
 
srbmod
Posts: 15446
Joined: Tue Mar 20, 2001 1:32 pm

RE: One-Liners: Best And Worst.

Thu Jul 17, 2003 10:39 pm

Rectum, damn near killed him!
 
N202PA
Posts: 1280
Joined: Tue Jun 06, 2000 9:44 pm

RE: One-Liners: Best And Worst.

Thu Jul 17, 2003 10:49 pm

So, a baby seal walks into a club...  Big grin
 
AIR757200
Posts: 1466
Joined: Mon Jul 17, 2000 8:30 am

RE: One-Liners: Best And Worst.

Thu Jul 17, 2003 11:12 pm


I was waiting at the check out line at Target and an employee or something comes up, smiles.. stands next to me.. then asks the forbidden.................

"What kind of gel do you use!?"

I look at him... "What?" (what I was really trying to say was: What the Hell?) No wonder your hitting on guys if your using pick-up lines like that with girls and it hasn't gotten you anything!

Stalker.
 
cedarjet
Posts: 8101
Joined: Mon May 24, 1999 1:12 am

RE: One-Liners: Best And Worst.

Thu Jul 17, 2003 11:17 pm

Contradictions:

I would never exaggerate in a million years.
I would never patronise you; I presume you know the meaning of the word?
Pretentious, moi?
Military intelligence
Military music
Socialist Worker.
fly Saha Air 707s daily from Tehran's downtown Mehrabad to Mashhad, Kish Island and Ahwaz
 
KROC
Posts: 18919
Joined: Mon May 08, 2000 11:19 am

RE: One-Liners: Best And Worst.

Thu Jul 17, 2003 11:35 pm

"Hey baby. You have a real nice jaw line. Yeah, it'll line up real good with my nuts!"
 
cancidas
Posts: 3985
Joined: Thu Jul 03, 2003 7:34 am

RE: One-Liners: Best And Worst.

Fri Jul 18, 2003 12:32 am

Pickup lines too. Ladies?
"...cannot the kingdom of salvation take me home."
 
bigphilnyc
Posts: 3874
Joined: Sat Jan 19, 2002 10:43 pm

RE: One-Liners: Best And Worst.

Fri Jul 18, 2003 12:48 am

We already have a thread for that running right now though.

All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

All fromt he man, Steven Wright.

http://www.weather.net/zarg/ZarPages/stevenWright.html

Kind of the one-liner.
Phil Derner Jr.
 
charleslp
Posts: 321
Joined: Wed Oct 31, 2001 9:33 am

RE: One-Liners: Best And Worst.

Fri Jul 18, 2003 2:08 am

"Now let's you just drop them pants."

 
BOAC
Posts: 77
Joined: Thu Jul 17, 2003 9:52 pm

RE: One-Liners: Best And Worst.

Fri Jul 18, 2003 3:30 am

Pick up lines :

Get your coat - you've pulled
 
triscl
Posts: 138
Joined: Tue Jul 15, 2003 4:08 am

RE: One-Liners: Best And Worst.

Fri Jul 18, 2003 3:39 am

liquor? I hardly know her.

you decide if that's best or worst.
 
seb146
Posts: 13769
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 1999 7:19 am

RE: One-Liners: Best And Worst.

Fri Jul 18, 2003 3:48 am

BigPhil: LOL Steven Wright is THE MAN!!! The tone of his voice makes those one-liners even funnier!

I usualy just end up telling punch lines to jokes. Not the whole joke, just the punch line.

'We just came off of Route 140.'
'We come not to praise your berries but to sieze them.'

GO CANUCKS!!
Life in the wall is a drag.
 
charleslp
Posts: 321
Joined: Wed Oct 31, 2001 9:33 am

RE: One-Liners: Best And Worst.

Fri Jul 18, 2003 6:25 am

Dude! You're gettin' a DELL!!
 
727_Gal
Posts: 318
Joined: Thu Sep 26, 2002 12:26 pm

RE: One-Liners: Best And Worst.

Fri Jul 18, 2003 9:08 am

"I would have been here sooner, but a manure-spreader jacknifed on the Santa Ana. You should see my shoes."

- Chevy Chase, Fletch
 
MSYtristar
Posts: 7543
Joined: Sat Aug 27, 2005 12:52 am

RE: One-Liners: Best And Worst.

Fri Jul 18, 2003 10:06 am

Rectum? Damn near killed 'em!
 
HOMER71
Posts: 2123
Joined: Fri Jul 20, 2001 10:56 pm

RE: One-Liners: Best And Worst.

Fri Jul 18, 2003 10:38 pm

"Man who go through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok."
-Confucius
"On spaceship earth there are no passengers...only crew."

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