Guest

Girlfriend Problems..

Tue Feb 03, 2004 4:12 am

I have a girlfriend.. who I love and who loves me etc etc.. but I found out that her ex-boyfriend said that he still liked her.. she said that she doesn't like him.. and I do trust her... I just want some reassurance and some help..

Thanks in advance!

Regards..

Chris
 
MidnightMike
Posts: 2810
Joined: Thu Mar 06, 2003 10:07 am

RE: Girlfriend Problems..

Tue Feb 03, 2004 4:29 am


Chris

Oh boy, well, the Ex-Boyfriend is waiting for you to lower your guard and then he will swoop in and reap the awards. This has nothing to do with trusting your girlfriend, it is the dude who you can not trust. There should be no reason why your girlfriend the ex-boyfriend should be speaking with one another.
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Jkw777
Posts: 4427
Joined: Fri Sep 26, 2003 11:15 pm

RE: Girlfriend Problems..

Tue Feb 03, 2004 4:33 am

Chris,

Whom did you find this out from?

I would just let it ride right over your head mate, in due course make that girl yours! If he comes in, then you step in, take action. Violence won't solve a thing, but if I were in your boots I would just warn him that stepping on your toes and property probablly isn't a wise move.

If the girl says she doesn't like him, then that should be your reassurance surely?!

Chin up, and don't worry  Smile

Justin  Big thumbs up
jkw6210@btopenworld.com or +447751242989
 
Delta767300ER
Posts: 2436
Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2003 7:12 pm

RE: Girlfriend Problems..

Tue Feb 03, 2004 4:34 am

Chris, screw him (NOT LITERALLY) Dont even worry about him. If she doesent like him and theirs no contact between them then you shouldnt have anything to worry about it.

-Delta767300ER
 
Guest

RE: Girlfriend Problems..

Tue Feb 03, 2004 4:36 am

Well I know that they text each other (SMS) but then I know I can trust her..

Regards,

Chris
 
bmi330
Posts: 1429
Joined: Sun Nov 11, 2001 9:04 am

RE: Girlfriend Problems..

Tue Feb 03, 2004 4:50 am

Dont trust girls! go and get another burd so when you find out she been shagen him you just go well im doin this burd its the only way m8 girls are slappers lol.
 
emiratesa345
Posts: 2044
Joined: Thu Jun 05, 2003 10:11 am

RE: Girlfriend Problems..

Tue Feb 03, 2004 4:54 am

...and you've come here for advice?

Don't you remember what happened to the others who came here for advice?

Anyway...


You just have to top anything he tries to do. I realize he's trying to top you, to get her back, but you can't let that happen.

Take her out to dinner, tell her how you feel and don't let it bother you too much. I'm sure it'll all just work out fine.

As Jkw777 said,

Chin up, and don't worry

EmiratesA345 Laugh out loud

You and I were meant to fly, Air Canada!
 
Guest

RE: Girlfriend Problems..

Tue Feb 03, 2004 4:55 am

BTW.. his name is Rhys.. he will be destroyed!

LOL

Regards..

Chris
 
N766UA
Posts: 7843
Joined: Thu Jul 29, 1999 3:50 am

RE: Girlfriend Problems..

Tue Feb 03, 2004 5:00 am

There should be no reason why your girlfriend the ex-boyfriend should be speaking with one another.

Why not? If I broke up with my girlfriend I'd still talk to her and be her friend...
This Website Censors Me
 
MidnightMike
Posts: 2810
Joined: Thu Mar 06, 2003 10:07 am

RE: Girlfriend Problems..

Tue Feb 03, 2004 5:00 am


EGFFbmi

Chris, hold on there, don't fight, you will lose on all counts, one she will hate you, the 2nd thing is that he will call the cops on you, whether you lose the fight or not.

The problem is not with him, but with her, if she tells him "Do Not Call/Text me anymore" END OF STORY!

With the Ex-Boyfriend in the relationship, guaranteed, your life will be a living hell. BUT, do not fight, that is for losers.
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aa61hvy
Posts: 13021
Joined: Fri Nov 05, 1999 9:21 am

RE: Girlfriend Problems..

Tue Feb 03, 2004 5:04 am

Tell her this in these EXACT words "It makes me feel uncomfortable when you talk to him a lot. I understand you love me, but I feel a little uneasy, I just thought you might want to know that, but I do trust you"

It is a nice way to get your point across, not harsh at all. Take if from me, I have taken many communication classes (including interpersonal) this is the best way to get your feelings across, but don't pester her about it, take it from me, girls don't like pestering (ask my girl)

Its not worth getting worked up about, they broke up for a reason, you are together for a reason.

Don't fight, your girl does not care how tough you think you are. If he hurts her physically, man whoop up on him then, but not until then.
Go big or go home
 
Guest

RE: Girlfriend Problems..

Tue Feb 03, 2004 5:05 am

She just sent me an email saying there is nothing to worry about.. I will sort it out tomorrow.. could be a fight in college!

Regards,

Chris
 
Guest

RE: Girlfriend Problems..

Tue Feb 03, 2004 6:10 am

Nothing wrong with trusting her but in casual conversations look for timeline flaws. Most girls I know love spilling information about what they did all day and I can usually piece together a pretty good timeline. If you find her spending 4hrs at lunch it may be a good time to get suspicious.

I trust everyone but It does not make me less vigilant, just when you start extending too much trust you get knifed in the back.

Its not a crime to hang around an ex but if the time she spends with him starts increasing a lot or you catch even a tiny lie about what they were doing there is something huge to hide.
 
Jkw777
Posts: 4427
Joined: Fri Sep 26, 2003 11:15 pm

RE: Girlfriend Problems..

Tue Feb 03, 2004 6:16 am

Chris,

Don't fight man, it's not really necessary. Use your loaf!! If she is still hanging around with him, you just got to see for yourself if there is something happening before weighing in with the fists, trust me  Smile

You know it makes sense  Big grin

Justin  Big thumbs up
jkw6210@btopenworld.com or +447751242989
 
BN747
Posts: 5344
Joined: Thu Mar 28, 2002 5:48 am

RE: Girlfriend Problems..

Tue Feb 03, 2004 6:41 am

That's great you love her..but you're in the 21 and under club...hopefully by the time you're 21 you'll have racked up 3 or 4 ex-gfs. But if there's the slightest chance that this thing can unravel...start tying a tow line to ship #2..just incase you gotta jump ship#1! As far as fighting, better be sure you can clean the other's clock...if you can't..it'd be a sad sight you get your ass handed to you and lose you chik in one fell swoop! There's no recovery from that. You're too young to be taking 'love' so seriously. But on the other hand, getting your heart cut out and stomped on, should toughen you up..hopefully! So guys collapse like a deck of cards..and stay that way!

BN747
"Home of the Brave, made by the Slaves..Land of the Free, if you look like me.." T. Jefferson
 
bobrayner
Posts: 2038
Joined: Sun Apr 27, 2003 8:03 am

RE: Girlfriend Problems..

Tue Feb 03, 2004 6:57 am

Just show her that you trust her.

You can't keep her locked away in a cage, can you? There's nothing wrong with SMSing - I do it all the time with my exen, and it's certainly not evidence that I'm about to pounce on them. It just shows that we are still friends.

If she preferred him to you, she would have gone already. Sit back, relax, be happy together.
Cunning linguist
 
Chi-town
Posts: 893
Joined: Fri Sep 08, 2000 1:29 am

RE: Girlfriend Problems..

Tue Feb 03, 2004 6:59 am

Is it me or does it seem like most of the "girl problems" posters are europeans?
 
Jkw777
Posts: 4427
Joined: Fri Sep 26, 2003 11:15 pm

RE: Girlfriend Problems..

Tue Feb 03, 2004 7:01 am

Is it me or does it seem like most of the "girl problems" posters are europeans?

What is your point?
jkw6210@btopenworld.com or +447751242989
 
Chi-town
Posts: 893
Joined: Fri Sep 08, 2000 1:29 am

RE: Girlfriend Problems..

Tue Feb 03, 2004 7:04 am

No harm intended Jkw777, It was just an observation.
 
goingboeing
Posts: 4727
Joined: Sat Dec 04, 1999 1:58 am

RE: Girlfriend Problems..

Tue Feb 03, 2004 7:07 am

If I had a dime for every girl who broke my heart before my 21st birthday, I'd be a rich man. While I found a lot of girls in my younger days, I didn't really find "love" until I was in my late 20's.
 
Jkw777
Posts: 4427
Joined: Fri Sep 26, 2003 11:15 pm

RE: Girlfriend Problems..

Tue Feb 03, 2004 7:09 am

Ok... I make observations too they say:



Sorry  Smile

Justin  Big thumbs up
jkw6210@btopenworld.com or +447751242989
 
Guest

RE: Girlfriend Problems..

Tue Feb 03, 2004 7:10 am

Something similar to that happened to me. I was dating a girl, but the ex wouldn't leave her alone. She broke up with me and married the guy. Has two kids now.

Oh, wait, I was supposed to be encouraging.

Well, here's the truth: Things may not work out between you and your girl. If that happens, it will suck, but only for a couple days--two weeks max. And then your life will go on. The world will not end. You'll find someone of better quality who doesn't maintain liasons with their ex's.

'Speed
 
Guest

RE: Girlfriend Problems..

Tue Feb 03, 2004 7:22 am

They haven't seen each other.. it's just he says that he still fancies her.. but I know she doesn't like him.. maybe im just paranoid.. BTW.. I spend nearly all my free time in college and out of college with her..

Regards..

Chris
 
USAFHummer
Posts: 10261
Joined: Thu May 18, 2000 12:22 pm

RE: Girlfriend Problems..

Tue Feb 03, 2004 7:31 am

"There should be no reason why your girlfriend the ex-boyfriend should be speaking with one another."

This is complete BS to be honest...Im still very good friends with my ex-gf, although I've never met any of her bf's after we broke up...Im pretty sure this is by her design but it doesnt matter...we're still friends and who gives a flying #@&*()R)(* what her current fling thinks...

Greg
Chief A.net college football stadium self-pic guru
 
bobrayner
Posts: 2038
Joined: Sun Apr 27, 2003 8:03 am

RE: Girlfriend Problems..

Tue Feb 03, 2004 7:42 am

There should be no reason why your girlfriend the ex-boyfriend should be speaking with one another

I have to agree with USAFHummer on this... I'm on speaking terms with my exen; even the really evil manipulative one.  Big grin It's certainly not unusual for her to be in touch with an ex. If you can't cope with this, then either:
1. Chain her up in your cellar
2. Only date girls who have never kissed a guy before

but I know she doesn't like him..

Then what can you worry about?

Cunning linguist
 
Guest

RE: Girlfriend Problems..

Tue Feb 03, 2004 7:51 am

Nothing?

Regards..

Chris
 
gocaps16
Posts: 4138
Joined: Sat Jan 29, 2000 9:14 am

RE: Girlfriend Problems..

Tue Feb 03, 2004 3:33 pm

Yea, I agree with Greg.

When I broke up with my ex-girlfriend, just a week til I shipped off to basic training, we still keep in touch. She wrote to me and I wrote her back while I was gone. Even tho last year, she did tell me that she had a boyfriend and I accept it. Even tho I may still love her and care for her, we will always remains friends and nothing could ever stop us from it. I've never met her last boyfriend and even tho she broke up with him couple months ago. From time to time, I still see her and we will still "hang out" together and have fun....go see a movie, go out to dinner, walk at a park and talk about life and our future. There are many dames out there looking.

I disagree about fighting since it doesn't resolve anything. Fighting is for losers and wimps anyways especially if it has to involve with a female and jealously and even tho she is your ex, she'll be looking for another guy anyways.

Kevin
 
DeltaGuy
Posts: 3965
Joined: Wed Sep 12, 2001 5:25 am

RE: Girlfriend Problems..

Tue Feb 03, 2004 5:47 pm

Chris,

I feel ya bro. I'd definately keep her on a bit of a short leash. Ex's in a relationship always stink like a bitch. Be totally sure she's telling you the truth, and make sure you tell her you trust her and KNOW she wouldn't do anything to hurt your heart. Make sure she's not out for extended periods, especially at night. When she says she's headed to the mall or grocery shopping- double check, it could be iffey. When in doubt, call the cellphone- not too often tho.

Personal experience unfortunately  Sad My ex told me she was over her ex, repeaditly...when they keep saying it over and over and sound the same, its an attempt at a good ruse....she ended up sleepin with him. If that happens to you Chris, eject, cause it ain't worth the fallout. Try to get him out of the picture as nicely as you can...without looking *too* hostile.

Good luck!
-Chris (DeltaGuy)
"The cockpit, what is it?" "It's the little room in the front of the plane where the pilot sits, but that's not importan
 
gkirk
Posts: 23349
Joined: Thu Jun 15, 2000 3:29 am

RE: Girlfriend Problems..

Tue Feb 03, 2004 7:05 pm

Give her the time of her life in the sack  Big thumbs up
When you hear the noise of the Tartan Army Boys, we'll be coming down the road!
 
Pe@rson
Posts: 16030
Joined: Sat Jan 13, 2001 6:29 pm

RE: Girlfriend Problems..

Tue Feb 03, 2004 7:41 pm

I can imagine how it must be annoying and hurtful. I think I have been in the same situation, but can't really remember (too many nights out since). If I were you, I would not let it bother me. I would probably play with the git and subtly rub it in to the bloke that she doesn't like him if he annoyed me. I was also probably sometimes say 'you're free to go off with him' to her if she mentioned it. Of course, she seems unlikely to do this. Nothing like giving the opposite of what they expect. Normally works wonders. BUT - don't let it worry you! Be happy.
"Everyone writing for the Telegraph knows that the way to grab eyeballs is with Ryanair and/or sex."
 
santosdumont
Posts: 1157
Joined: Sat Dec 20, 2003 7:22 am

RE: Girlfriend Problems..

Tue Feb 03, 2004 9:27 pm

EGFFbmi wrote:

I have a girlfriend.. who I love and who loves me etc etc.. but I found out that her ex-boyfriend said that he still liked her.. she said that she doesn't like him.. and I do trust her... I just want some reassurance and some help...

Well, Chris, let me begin with a reality that sucks: in this game, there are no reassurances. What's worse, there are no rules; as we say here in Brazil, "Vale Tudo --" anything goes. The good news is that you can use that to your advantage!

But keep that UK stiff upper lip. My advice: remember what Sun Tzu wrote in "The Art of War." He said something like "don't do what your enemy expects you to do the most, do what he (or she) expects you to do the least."

Meaning, give your girlfriend a small amount of space but keep your eyes open, my friend. This way, she won't get the feeling that you're getting defensive and crowding her.

I also agree with the guys who say have an emergency escape strategy. Make some mental notes about who you might be interested in should the whole situation with your girlfriend go down the tubes. It's not a pretty thing to do, but it'll save you a lot of heartache.

 Big thumbs up
"Pursuit Of Truth No Matter Where It Lies" -- Metallica
 
Guest

RE: Girlfriend Problems..

Wed Feb 04, 2004 2:41 am

Thanks Guys.. saw her today.. he gave me a few looks I gave him a few back... but nothing happened.. but the first thing she did to me this morning was to kiss me.. looks like it's ok after all!


Regards..

Chris
 
Delta767300ER
Posts: 2436
Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2003 7:12 pm

Chris

Fri Feb 06, 2004 2:29 am

Alright, glad to hear it. Ex's suck.

-Delta767300ER
 
flyingbronco05
Posts: 3484
Joined: Fri May 10, 2002 11:43 am

RE: Girlfriend Problems..

Fri Feb 06, 2004 4:46 am

Think of it this way.

You have her, he doesn't. She is with you, not with him. You are fine.

FB05
Never Trust Your Fuel Gauge
 
Guest

RE: Girlfriend Problems..

Fri Feb 06, 2004 5:00 am

Thanks Guys!

Regards...

Chris

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