Posts: 3100
Joined: Mon Jul 15, 2002 11:16 am

Preparing For Your Mammogram

Wed Feb 04, 2004 10:32 am

Just to keep you women laughing.......


Many women are afraid of mammograms, but there is no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for the week preceding the exam and doing the following practice exercises, you will be totally prepared for the test. And best of all, you can do these simple practice exercises right in your own home!

EXERCISE #1: Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a stranger into the room. Press the bookends against one of your breasts. Smash the bookends together as hard as you can. Set an appointment with the stranger to meet next year and do it again.

EXERCISE #2: Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast between the door and the main box. Have one of your strongest friends slam the door shut as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure. Hold that position for ten seconds. Repeat again in case the first time wasn't effective enough.

EXERCISE #3: Visit your garage at 3:00 a.m. when the temperature of the cement floor is just perfect. Take off all your warm clothes and lay comfortably on the floor with one breast under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled. Turn over and repeat for the other breast.

CONGRATULATIONS! Now you are properly prepared for your mammogram. Isn't it fun to be a woman?

Posts: 4251
Joined: Tue Jul 22, 2003 12:15 pm

RE: Preparing For Your Mammogram

Wed Feb 04, 2004 10:39 am

Man, I am going to pee my pants laughing at these today, but strangely, I feel the need to keep my arms crossed over my chest!
But that was when I ruled the world
Posts: 13021
Joined: Fri Nov 05, 1999 9:21 am

RE: Preparing For Your Mammogram

Wed Feb 04, 2004 10:48 am

Photopilot do you have breasts?
Go big or go home
Posts: 3100
Joined: Mon Jul 15, 2002 11:16 am

RE: Preparing For Your Mammogram

Wed Feb 04, 2004 10:50 am

Look at the bright side..... or "Far Side".

On this forum......

- We argue politics.
- Bash George Bush.
- Bash the United States
- Ask 1001 inane questions.
- And live with perpetual "gay" based threads.

Isn't it much nicer to be hetro and talk about boobs, tits, jugs, breasts???
Posts: 3100
Joined: Mon Jul 15, 2002 11:16 am

RE: Preparing For Your Mammogram

Wed Feb 04, 2004 10:55 am

"Photopilot do you have breasts?"

No..... I just borrow a pair when needed  Big thumbs up  Big thumbs up  Big thumbs up  Big thumbs up

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