seb146
Posts: 13905
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 1999 7:19 am

My Little Issue

Fri Feb 06, 2004 6:07 am

Let me preface this by saying I know most of the people on the net are not what they say they are but I have been on this board long enough and one day may meet one of you so why lie?

Anyway, I need some advice. I am 6 feet 175 pounds brown hair and eyes. I wash my clothes. Shower, brush my teeth and rinse my mouth at least twice a day. I comb my hair. Shave, don't have any hideous growths on my face. I make sure my clothes match. Use deoderant and just enough cologne anyone in a 6 inch radius knows I smell good. In short, I try to look as good as I can no matter what every time I go out.

I have one friend who is my same age 5 foot 9 190 pounds. He too washes rinses, coordinates his outfits and always tries to look good. When he goes out, even just walking through the mall, he has guys hitting on him but no one bats an eye at me except that one drag queen (see 'Ever been fooled by a transexual' thread). When I go to the gay bars, I smile, dance, glance, and everythig but no one notices.

Am I that unattractive? What gives? I don't want to be with anyone. But is it too much to ask to be told I look good? I will admit in the mall or just out in public it may not be easy to tell if a guy is hetero, homo or a woman LOL but in a gay bar, it is not that difficult to figure out.

Any pointers? Thanks....

GO CANUCKS!!
Life in the wall is a drag.
 
Guest

RE: My Little Issue

Fri Feb 06, 2004 6:16 am

I hate to say this and know i will get called all kinds of things for this but pics might seriously help answer your question.
 
mt99
Posts: 6166
Joined: Wed May 26, 1999 5:41 am

RE: My Little Issue

Fri Feb 06, 2004 6:23 am

Post your pic at www.hotornot.com and find out



[Edited 2004-02-05 22:24:12]

[Edited 2004-02-05 22:24:36]

[Edited 2004-02-05 22:24:50]
Step into my office, baby
 
CPDC10-30
Posts: 4681
Joined: Wed Feb 02, 2000 4:30 pm

RE: My Little Issue

Fri Feb 06, 2004 6:46 am

Surprised they go for your shorter friend, most including myself prefer taller guys. But I think a lot of guys maybe are too shy to chat you up if you are dancing up a storm on the floor - at least thats what I've noticed  Smile/happy/getting dizzy Just hang around a bit and I'm sure they'll start coming.
 
emiratesa345
Posts: 2043
Joined: Thu Jun 05, 2003 10:11 am

RE: My Little Issue

Fri Feb 06, 2004 6:57 am

I'm not sure hoew it is with guys, but with girls I find it's easier to tell if someone is after your friend, then when they're after you. It just seems more obvious.

BTW Do you iron your clothes? Any girl with wrinkly clothes is a major turn off.  Laugh out loud

EmiratesA345 Smile/happy/getting dizzy
You and I were meant to fly, Air Canada!
 
TWFirst
Posts: 5752
Joined: Wed Apr 19, 2000 5:30 am

RE: My Little Issue

Fri Feb 06, 2004 7:05 am

Sometimes if you're too good looking, people might be intimidated to approach you... perhaps that's what's going on!

Also, maybe your friend gives off vibes that he's a whore...


See... think positively. It helps.

(Personally, I'd be turned off by the cologne thing... cologne bothers me. I like manly smells... most of them anyway)
An unexamined life isn't worth living.
 
gigneil
Posts: 14133
Joined: Fri Nov 08, 2002 10:25 am

RE: My Little Issue

Fri Feb 06, 2004 7:45 am

I prefer shorter guys. Dunno what it is. Not "small people" but boys in the 5'9" range are perfect for me. (5'9" and 190 lbs wouldn't be my taste)

But honey, there's many reasons other than how you look that determine what people think on a shallow level.

There's all sorts of body language, and there's two distinctive sets: open, and closed.

If you appear to be a "closed" person, many people may not walk up to you.

Could be anything. Do you smile a lot?

N
 
Guest

RE: My Little Issue

Fri Feb 06, 2004 7:50 am

"Sometimes if you're too good looking, people might be intimidated to approach you... perhaps that's what's going on!"

So thats why girls never approach me and are usually ticked they get stuck with me in groups at school... wow all this time i thought it was because i was ugly.
 
TWFirst
Posts: 5752
Joined: Wed Apr 19, 2000 5:30 am

RE: My Little Issue

Fri Feb 06, 2004 8:15 am

See Startvalve... you're a beautiful person after all... now go to the mirror, look at yourself, then give yourself a big smootch. Now smile coyly and begin touching yourself...
An unexamined life isn't worth living.
 
Guest

RE: My Little Issue

Fri Feb 06, 2004 8:20 am

Damn good idea TWFirst, I think thats what I will do tonight.
 
Guest

RE: My Little Issue

Fri Feb 06, 2004 8:31 am

If I may speak candidly, I think that your first problem is the places that you are trying to meet people. Malls, bars... yeah, those have to be the headquarters for materialism. Perhaps try to meet people in a more intellectually stimulating and positive environment.

Speaking for myself, I'm looking for a long term relationship. So, I know that I need to look in places that I can find people with qualities that will allow that to occur.

Personally, I'm the type of guy that would also be overlooked at a mall or a bar. But in my social group, I literally have more dating options than I know what to do with, and that is because I've found a pool of eligables that share common interests and goals.

-Normal
 
iflyatldl
Posts: 1796
Joined: Mon Nov 03, 2003 1:41 am

RE: My Little Issue

Fri Feb 06, 2004 11:43 am

Maybe it's just a cycle or involuntary phase. Sort of a slump or a dry spell. Just enjoy your friends and when you least expect it, you'll end up making a connection. I have friends who are decent looking and go out- and are on a "mission to get laid" and couldn't find a dust bunny under a rug if they tried. And I've had friends who never go out and can be in a bar for 10 minutes and have people hitting on them, giving them numbers, etc. No rhyme or reason. I used to have a "Lucky " pair of jeans, that I used to wear when I went out, (not sure if it made any difference or not)but since I'm a old married fart, they have since retired. Big grin
Ah, Summer, Fenway Park, Boston Red Sox and Beer.....
 
DeltaGuy
Posts: 3965
Joined: Wed Sep 12, 2001 5:25 am

RE: My Little Issue

Fri Feb 06, 2004 12:11 pm

Perhaps its because you're trying to pick up another guy? Face it...the dominant part of Americans are straight sexually.....finding another homo is like a needle in a haystack....try looking for the ladies, I promise your search will be better.

Keepin it straight,
DeltaGuy
"The cockpit, what is it?" "It's the little room in the front of the plane where the pilot sits, but that's not importan
 
TWFirst
Posts: 5752
Joined: Wed Apr 19, 2000 5:30 am

RE: My Little Issue

Fri Feb 06, 2004 1:28 pm

>>finding another homo is like a needle in a haystack<<

Spoken like someone who lives in Jacksonville.... try gettin' out of hickville sometime, and travel down the I-95 a few hours to Broward. There, finding a breeder is like a needle in a haystack.
An unexamined life isn't worth living.
 
DeltaGuy
Posts: 3965
Joined: Wed Sep 12, 2001 5:25 am

RE: My Little Issue

Fri Feb 06, 2004 1:38 pm

Spoken like someone who lives in Jacksonville.... try gettin' out of hickville sometime, and travel down the I-95 a few hours to Broward. There, finding a breeder is like a needle in a haystack

Excuse me, hickville? Things have changed alot in the past century. Jax is part of the "Bible Belt" still...better that way.

Broward is a place I prefer to avoid entirely....Brevard is a hard stretch in itself.

My advice still stands....girls are alot easier to find..plus more satisfying.

DeltaGuy
"The cockpit, what is it?" "It's the little room in the front of the plane where the pilot sits, but that's not importan
 
redngold
Posts: 6673
Joined: Wed Mar 22, 2000 12:26 pm

RE: My Little Issue

Fri Feb 06, 2004 1:42 pm

DeltaGuy...

If you can't play along with the gay, then get out of the way!

Look, I'm a conservative person and I've stayed out of this because I had nothing to say... until I saw your little snide comments.


redngold
Up, up and away!
 
mirrodie
Posts: 6789
Joined: Wed Apr 19, 2000 3:33 am

RE: My Little Issue

Fri Feb 06, 2004 1:59 pm

For clothes, I go to Structure or Expressmens. Sometimes Haggar or Clairborne pants as well.

As for where to meet, get involved. Library, Coffee house, social circles, barnes and Noble, Borders, a park. For years, my social cirlces revolved around school, classes and meeting friends of friends and this is how I found potential ladies in waiting of best quality.

For the clubbers and barcrawlers, steer clear. It's like Danny Glover says in Lethal Weapon, "All dressed up and no one to blow."
Forum moderator 2001-2010; He's a pedantic, pontificating, pretentious bastard, a belligerent old fart, a worthless st
 
ScarletHarlot
Posts: 4251
Joined: Tue Jul 22, 2003 12:15 pm

RE: My Little Issue

Fri Feb 06, 2004 2:05 pm

Mirrodie - where did you get your stylin' yellow shirt?  Wink/being sarcastic

Also athletic endeavours are good places to meet people...cycling clubs, Volkssport, curling clubs (of course), hockey leagues, etc. I have made a ton of friends at my curling and speedskating clubs. Why not join a league for your favourite sport? Maybe in your area there are ones for gays too...helping to more accurately determine the sexual orientation of your fellow players!  Smile/happy/getting dizzy

Seb, there is a curling club in Vancouver...Evergreen Curling Club.  Smile/happy/getting dizzy
But that was when I ruled the world
 
DeltaGuy
Posts: 3965
Joined: Wed Sep 12, 2001 5:25 am

RE: My Little Issue

Fri Feb 06, 2004 2:50 pm

Admitted...I should have never even looked lol.

Snide was alrightey tho...this thread is completely f*d up....

Conservative walking (running) out the door,
DeltaGuy
"The cockpit, what is it?" "It's the little room in the front of the plane where the pilot sits, but that's not importan
 
bigphilnyc
Posts: 3874
Joined: Sat Jan 19, 2002 10:43 pm

RE: My Little Issue

Fri Feb 06, 2004 3:19 pm

If women liked me the way that men do....I'd be a happy guy.

I get AMBUSHED on the streets by men hitting on me. Even though I'm straight, I have awesome gaydar and can spot them a mile away.

I'm polite about it, of course. It's flattering, even though that's not my style.

However, touching me is where the line is drawn. I once had a guy come up to me on the trian, start hitting on me, and after I declined, he kept at it (mistake #1). Then when I went to walk away, he slapped my ass and I turned around so fast with a big wind up and caught him right in the eye.

As he tried to get up he caleld me a homophobe and all this stuff. Bullshit. Being gay doesn't give you the right to do that to people,a nd me defending myself menas nothing about my views on gay men. That BURNS me up so much. I get called a homophobe every now and again by similar idiots.

Seb, if you care what gay guys think, then you're gay, seriously.

Phil Derner Jr.
 
DeltaGuy
Posts: 3965
Joined: Wed Sep 12, 2001 5:25 am

RE: My Little Issue

Fri Feb 06, 2004 4:51 pm

Big Phil, you're damn right.....thanks for saying it Smile

The best fun is beating the living daylights out of gay guys who hit on you at parties...2 straight guys against 2 phags...2 drunk and messed up phags. They have no right to touch straight property.

Seriously tho...keep the gay-idge to a minimum..it's freaky.

Ahhhhhh the fires we're gonna cause....
"The cockpit, what is it?" "It's the little room in the front of the plane where the pilot sits, but that's not importan
 
JBirdAV8r
Posts: 3454
Joined: Sun Jun 24, 2001 4:44 am

RE: My Little Issue

Fri Feb 06, 2004 10:21 pm

Any pointers? Thanks....

Get over yourself. Have a -little- self-confidence...girls like it. Don't go overboard though. It's been my experience that the best ladies don't walk up to you and say "hey, you're hot"...not the ones worth anything anyway.

The best fun is beating the living daylights out of gay guys who hit on you at parties...2 straight guys against 2 phags...2 drunk and messed up phags. They have no right to touch straight property.

So how many times have you been completely and utterly flattened?

Oy vey, stick to the truth...it suits you better.
I got my head checked--by a jumbo jet
 
TWFirst
Posts: 5752
Joined: Wed Apr 19, 2000 5:30 am

RE: My Little Issue

Fri Feb 06, 2004 10:23 pm

Yeah, that's really cool DeltaGuy... boy, you're really a man aren't you? Maybe you should get some counseling so the idea of "gayidge" won't "freak you out" so much.


Bigphilnyc: I find your story a bit hard to believe for 2 reasons... 1) no self-respecting gay guy would touch another guy who rebuffed his advances and stated he was straight, let alone someone as built as you, and let alone smacking you on your ass, and 2) on the subway even? And you decked him huh? And you weren't arrested? Stopped even?

UNLESS... that guy was messed up on drugs. Then your story might be plausible.... maybe.
An unexamined life isn't worth living.
 
Guest

RE: My Little Issue

Fri Feb 06, 2004 11:00 pm

TWFirst,
There are assholes in the world straight or gay that cannot take no for an answer. It does not matter what sex someone prefers, some people are just stupid. I sort of believe bigphil since I have seen one or two clearly gay people that seemed to think being gay meant they were entitled to some sort of special treatment. I do not hold this against all gay people, however, so keep the flames away.

To be arrested for decking someone a cop or someone who can quickly find a cop has to see it or they have to know who you are so the cops can find you later on. Even then the guy touching him can be considered assault or something similar depending on NY laws so Phil can say he was defending himself.
 
TWFirst
Posts: 5752
Joined: Wed Apr 19, 2000 5:30 am

RE: My Little Issue

Sat Feb 07, 2004 12:05 am

>>some people are just stupid<<

I agree wholeheartedly. Many of them visit this site.

>>I have seen one or two clearly gay people that seemed to think being gay meant they were entitled to some sort of special treatment.<<

Of course. I've too wtinessed members of various groups, subgroups, sexes, minorities, hair-colors, etc., that also acted as if they were entitled to some sort of special treatment... BUT:

Who in their right mind (key words here) would slap a hulking mass of man on the ass who just got done saying he was straight, while riding mass transportation, unless he wanted trouble? That's not logical.... unless the guy was totally drunk or high or insane, which I suppose isn't unusual in NYC.

And my point about the subway... if a fist fight breaks out in a subway car, the conductor is usually notified immediately by somebody on the train, unless it was just the two of them in the car, and the conductor then holds the train and notifies the police.... I've seen it happen.
An unexamined life isn't worth living.
 
seb146
Posts: 13905
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 1999 7:19 am

RE: My Little Issue

Sat Feb 07, 2004 3:41 am

Bigphil's story is the whole reason I DO NOT flirt with guys outside of clubs.

Back on topic:
Last week, my friend and I were to go to the clubs. In the 8 years we have known each other, we have never gone to the clubs together. His story is: he was walking down the street near his apartment. Walking for exercise. A guy came over to him and started flirting with him. Needless to say, we didn't make it to the clubs that night.

I only go to clubs about once a month, but it does not matter where I go. I just feel ignored.

Scarlet: Curling? I would like to try but I fear I may misuse the stone LOL Seriously, I would like to be on one of those city league teams for volleyball or soccer. That is a great idea!

Ed.: I have only 5 or 6 recent pics of me but I don't know where to post them so I can link them here. I don't do HTML very well anyway.

GO CANUCKS!!

[Edited 2004-02-06 20:00:52]
Life in the wall is a drag.
 
iflyatldl
Posts: 1796
Joined: Mon Nov 03, 2003 1:41 am

RE: My Little Issue

Sat Feb 07, 2004 3:55 am

Seb146:
I used to play softball, volleyball and bowl on a gay league and had a blast! In the past fifteen years since I've been back in ATL I met my Partner and the majority of my closer friends that way. Big grin
Ah, Summer, Fenway Park, Boston Red Sox and Beer.....
 
Guest

RE: My Little Issue

Sat Feb 07, 2004 4:04 am

My understanding of the situation was: It was not really a fight, guy grabs phils ass, phil socks guy, guy hits ground. That is not what most people call a fist fight. All other things aside, who cares? Maybe it happened maybe not, this is afterall the internet and nobody should believe more than 1% of what they read on here.
 
tbar220
Posts: 6706
Joined: Wed Feb 02, 2000 12:08 pm

RE: My Little Issue

Sat Feb 07, 2004 4:12 am

Seb,

Maybe its because you're a Canucks fan  Innocent
Had to throw that in
NO URLS in signature
 
jderden777
Posts: 1677
Joined: Fri Jan 21, 2000 9:56 am

RE: My Little Issue

Sat Feb 07, 2004 4:20 am

all i have to say about this thread is...

"my soul is in the sky" - shakespeare
 
seb146
Posts: 13905
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 1999 7:19 am

RE: My Little Issue

Sat Feb 07, 2004 4:34 am

Everything I read on the net, I take with a grain of salt. But I also know there are guys out there that believe they are God's gift.

Jderden & Tbar: Can't stop what is in my blood. Can't rest until I see the Canucks names ingraved on the Cup! But, Tbar gave me a good laugh!

GO CANUCKS!!
Life in the wall is a drag.
 
jderden777
Posts: 1677
Joined: Fri Jan 21, 2000 9:56 am

RE: My Little Issue

Sat Feb 07, 2004 4:37 am

Seb146:
I wasn't directing my post simply at you...some of the responses that you got from your original post were just entirely way out of line and didn't really have to do with what you wrote, and that's what my post was directed at. I'm sorry that you posted your issue and it seems as though you got nothing but crap from people.

"my soul is in the sky" - shakespeare
 
AIR757200
Posts: 1466
Joined: Mon Jul 17, 2000 8:30 am

RE: My Little Issue

Sat Feb 07, 2004 5:04 am

Late to join in...

Sometimes if you're too good looking, people might be intimidated to approach you... perhaps that's what's going on!

TWFirst is right; a lot of times, people won't approach others because of the look factor. It goes both ways. I have the mentality myself (like most people) where I won't approach guys that I thought were hot- even with eye-contact and a smile, I always look away!  Smile

There is this one guy that I like and seen him numerous times and I actually made the first "move" by talking to him ((however, both times (seperate nights) I was to drunk to talk or... always pole dancing)). Anyway!

And I've had friends who never go out and can be in a bar for 10 minutes and have people hitting on them, giving them numbers, etc.

Fresh meat. LOL.

Post your pic at www.hotornot.com and find out

That's a good idea. I've had my pictures on that site for years, however, if you don't log-in regularly to check your stats, your photo will stop rotating. I always have to reload it.

Well, I'm off to tan for tonight, it's Friday thong night (my little saying). LOL!!  Smile J/K...or maybe not!
 
chepos
Posts: 5938
Joined: Sat Dec 02, 2000 9:40 am

RE: My Little Issue

Sat Feb 07, 2004 8:39 am

Being intimidated by extremely good looking people is something that is very true- it has happened to me a couple of times.
During my Sophomore year in my economics class there was this really hot looking guy (blond, 6'2, built, blue eyes)- I noticed him cause he would usually come in late to class and was always wearing these really tight tant tops which looked really good on him. During the second class I noticed someone staring at me- and it was the really hot guy (which made me kind of uncomfy), this continued for about 2 more weeks and every time he would see me on campus he would just staart looking at me. Being extremely shy I would always look away and I would never have had the courage to talk to him, later on that semester he came in early and asked me a question- which I completely ignored and my friend had to answer becuase I could just not talk to him. I guess he thought I was the biggest bitch, snob, stuckup person in the world cause he turned around and went back to his seat- but it was really cause I was really attracted to him- But hey that was not that big of a turnoff for him, cause he kept on looking at me during the rest of the year (and making his head turn).
So maybe people are just intimidated by you.
And If you are attracted to a guy dont stare at them (Its annoying when guys just stare at me, especially if they start staring at the crotch)- I like it better when they just come up to me and start talking to me.

Chepos
Fly the Flag!!!!
 
seb146
Posts: 13905
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 1999 7:19 am

RE: My Little Issue

Mon Feb 09, 2004 3:07 am

I did it. I posted on hotornot.com. http://www.hotornot.com/r/?eid=GEGQOQA&key=GHD to see my posting there.

GO CANUCKS!!
Life in the wall is a drag.
 
redngold
Posts: 6673
Joined: Wed Mar 22, 2000 12:26 pm

RE: My Little Issue

Mon Feb 09, 2004 7:12 am

OK man, you're good looking to me (I'm a woman, I promise) but seriously... is that a tie with a hockey jersey? I dunno about that.  Wink/being sarcastic
Up, up and away!
 
ScarletHarlot
Posts: 4251
Joined: Tue Jul 22, 2003 12:15 pm

RE: My Little Issue

Tue Feb 10, 2004 8:52 am

Not bad, Seb, and with the Stanley Cup! Even better! I too have met the exalted Cup and was it ever exciting!
But that was when I ruled the world
 
mirrodie
Posts: 6789
Joined: Wed Apr 19, 2000 3:33 am

RE: My Little Issue

Tue Feb 10, 2004 9:01 am

Seb, throw in a headshot instead of the bodyshot on hotornot.

That photo is too small, I can "squish" your head. LOL

Hey, i met many nice ladies when I took as course called basic social dance.
Are they avenues for gay men to be taught ballroom dance?


Scarlot, you can see my wardrobe. Just walk into any Structure or Expressmen's Store. Find the MX1 mens shirts  Smile

Just took home a pastel pink and a yellow this weekend.  Smile/happy/getting dizzy And I think I worn a toned down green one for that Concorde show coming up next week.
Forum moderator 2001-2010; He's a pedantic, pontificating, pretentious bastard, a belligerent old fart, a worthless st
 
redngold
Posts: 6673
Joined: Wed Mar 22, 2000 12:26 pm

RE: My Little Issue

Tue Feb 10, 2004 9:56 am

Uhhhh just shows how much (or little) I care about hockey -- totally missed that you were touching the Stanley Cup.


*sigh*
redngold

[Edited 2004-02-10 01:57:38]
Up, up and away!
 
rindt
Posts: 876
Joined: Thu May 25, 2000 3:08 pm

RE: My Little Issue

Tue Feb 10, 2004 11:10 am

Mirrodie - great taste in clothes. Too bad we don't have an Express-Men's store up north. What are the MX1 shirts? Couldn't find any...

I agree also Seb - throw in a head-shot, and see what happens. However, I think there's something wrong with the site... lol. Even I managed a rating of 9.2 somehow.

-Rob
What other people think of you is none of your business!
 
mirrodie
Posts: 6789
Joined: Wed Apr 19, 2000 3:33 am

RE: My Little Issue

Tue Feb 10, 2004 11:19 am

MX1 shirts are like a stretch fabric of sorts. 97% cotton, 3% lycra

They come on MANY colors, no front pockets. NIce b/c I can wear them seeing patients or just chilling with friends and they relatively chique when you want them to. Can wear with jeans, dress slacks or a suit.

Take a trip into Seattle and go for it, They can be found for 44.50 each but usually you can get them for 19.50 on sale.
Forum moderator 2001-2010; He's a pedantic, pontificating, pretentious bastard, a belligerent old fart, a worthless st

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