Blatantly sexist, but still funny to read:
He said: I don't know why you wear a bra, you've got nothing to put in it.
She said: You wear pants don't you?
He said: Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said: Good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!
He said: What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said: Turn sideways and look in the mirror!
He said: What do men and sperm have in common?
She said: They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being.
He said: How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
She said: He buys two cases of beer.
He said: What is the difference between men and government bonds?
She said: The bonds mature.
He said: Why are blonde jokes so short?
She said: So men can remember them.
He said: How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
She said: We don't know, it has never happened.
He said: What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
She said: A widow.
He said: Why are married women heavier than single women?
She said: Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married
women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
He said: What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?
She said: They're married.
Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"
God says: "So you would love her."
Man says to God: "Why did you make her so dumb?"
God says: "So she would love you."