IHadAPheo
Topic Author
Posts: 5499
Joined: Mon Sep 17, 2001 3:26 pm

Why I'm A "Professional Complainer"

Wed Apr 07, 2004 1:58 pm

In my "New Job" thread another user suggested that I should take the job of a professional complainer. In order to keep that thread on topic I will list my qualifications for that job below.

1) in 1987 at the age of 24 while undergoing a relativly minor surgical procedure I had what was then an unknown pheochromocytoma (hence my user name) this reacted with the surgical medications and caused me to be coded on the table, placed on a vent and was in hospital for weeks. The net result I have the history of being dead for a bit.

2) Related to the above.. the pheochromocytoma was related to my having neurofibromatosis which is a genetic defect that causes many progressive and some life threatening (sp) conditions some of the following are profession complainer qualifications I have.. Spinal tumors, herniated cervical discs, scolios, bowing of the leg bones, facial deformities and a greatly increased risk of cancer. It also means my life expectancy is roughly 50-50 with my history.

3) In Apirl of last year at the age of 40 I had a heart attack (a non Q-wave MI to be exact) and was out on disability for three months and worked my ass off in cardiac rehab. After returning to work I had more chest pain and EKG changes last August and wasout for another 3 weeks.

4) On January 15 of this year my life changed when while in my arms my three year old daughter had a seizure (yes she also has neurofibromatosis which means her life may be a living hell) anf was in Childrens hospiat of Buffalo for 4 days. She will be on Tegretol (an anti-seizure med) for the fore-seeable future.

5) While taking her for an MRI I feeldown a flight off stairs and had a fall in the driveway, the net result was another spell on disability and more cervical disc herniation. After my physical therapy I was ready to return to work only to find that my job was eliminated and the number of jobs I could omove into was limited by my Neurourgons restrictions. So now I am on a layoff recall situation.

6) the net result of my employment troubles is that I now have nohealth insurance and the cost of my daughter's and my own medications will now have an updated cost to me of $ 350-400/ month. All this on what ever I can get from unemployment.


So yes I do think I have the right to claim the job of professional complainer

Yours,
IHadAPheo
Pray hard but pray with care For the tears that you are crying now Are just your answered prayers
 
SophieMaltese
Posts: 2023
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RE: Why I'm A "Professional Complainer"

Wed Apr 07, 2004 2:52 pm

I don't know where you live, but I know in Florida there is some program where if you have extreme medical problems they will help you out. And yes, you have every right to complain.
 
tbar220
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RE: Why I'm A "Professional Complainer"

Wed Apr 07, 2004 4:19 pm

IHadAPheo,

Don't expect an apology from you know who anytime soon. Sorry you lost your job, life's shit sometimes.
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JBirdAV8r
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RE: Why I'm A "Professional Complainer"

Wed Apr 07, 2004 5:56 pm

Pheo,

If you or your daughter ever needs an Angel Flight, I'm your man. Best of luck to you and yours.

Tidiot,

I don't think he was looking for your sympathy...nor was he looking for a power trip from you.
I got my head checked--by a jumbo jet
 
Guest

RE: Why I'm A "Professional Complainer"

Wed Apr 07, 2004 9:31 pm

IHAP,

I'm not trying to be unsympathetic or rude here, because you truly have been through some difficult events. But face it, you aren't the only one in the world with problems. My folks have been through health issues just as significant as yours, but they don't say two words about it. And people here on this website have problems that are just as tough to deal with as yours, yet they don't constantly post about it.

I sincerely wish you the best in your recovery and job search, but I'm just trying to say that you come across as sort of a complainer sometimes.

'Speed
 
fritzi
Posts: 2598
Joined: Sat Jun 30, 2001 2:34 am

RE: Why I'm A "Professional Complainer"

Wed Apr 07, 2004 9:43 pm

Speed,

Some people need to speak out about their problems, simple as that. Maybe he doesnt feel like talking to his family about them.

but I'm just trying to say that you come across as sort of a complainer sometimes.

I think you should read the title of this thread again....



IHadAPheo, I wish you and your little girl all the best!
 
Greg
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RE: Why I'm A "Professional Complainer"

Thu Apr 08, 2004 12:21 am

Add Number 7---Munchausen by Internet

I came across this recently...I thought I'd share. Edited for brevity.
_______________________________________________________________
Marc D. Feldman, MD, of the University of Alabama at Birmingham's Center for Psychiatric Medicine, calls it "Munchausen by Internet" -- a variation of the type of psychiatric disorders that include Munchausen syndrome and Munchausen by proxy. In these disorders, people cook up or induce fictitious illnesses in themselves or others in an effort to gain sympathy.

Feldman offers some clues on how to spot them:

They make fantastic personal claims, which are later disproved or contradicted.

They describe the worsening of an illness, followed by a miraculous recovery.

They give light-hearted descriptions of serious medical problems.

They bring in "supporting players" when their audience's attention wanes. ("Now my mother's terminally ill.")

In a study published in the Southern Medical Journal, Feldman describes four cases of Internet posers. In one, a "young woman" held a support group spellbound with the tale of her struggle with cystic fibrosis. Her dream was to die on the beach. That finally happened, according to a posting from the sick woman's sister "Amy." Group members picked up on the ruse when they noticed similarities in spelling errors in postings from Amy and from the sister who was supposed to be dead.
___________________________________________________________
Sorry, but I see you as falling vaguely into this category. Certainly not on all accounts...but by some.
Possibly you could seek some counseling to get yourself and your career back on track--at least to get you out of the depressive state.
Again, not an attack...just my opinion.

 
IHadAPheo
Topic Author
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RE: Why I'm A "Professional Complainer"

Thu Apr 08, 2004 12:41 am

"They make fantastic personal claims, which are later disproved or contradicted"

A few thoughts on this one show me anyone who has ever disproved my medical history, and many people have more doubts about the facts that some users present about themelves than what has ever been said about me.

I also would gladly drag my medical records showing both my and history and current condition along with that of my daughter to meeting with a MOd how is only a hour on so away from me. From where I am sitting now I can see mypersonal copies of my MRI's CT etc and it would be no big whoop to get EKG's etc.

"They describe the worsening of an illness, followed by a miraculous recovery"

My"condition" by it's nature is progressive, my pheochromocytoma was undiagnosed in 1987 so I have never had a worsening of illness and a miraculous recovery

"hey give light-hearted descriptions of serious medical problems."

Ifyou have severe medical problems especially if one of which is a facial deformity you can deal with in many ways one of which is to tryto be somewhat upbeat about things and trust me on this one why and if youhave a childthat has the same condition and faces a very rough life ahead there are time when I am not at all lighthearted but that is how us common people deal with our humble everyday day exitance something the both the real and imagined super rich do not or can not understand.

"They bring in "supporting players" when their audience's attention wanes. ("Now my mother's terminally ill.")"

If you are in any way shape or form suggesting that my daughter's condition is imagined I again say that you have little or no faith in the humaity of others and must feel yourself to be so far above the maninstream of society that no-one but those equal to you (if there is anyone) may be allowed to be worthy of your trust. Our daughter is the most important thing in my/our life and as a father I find your thoughts to be below revolting, I only hope that someday you are blessed with a child and may yours be healthy and well for I know how much money you would lose by having to take timeaway from you practice and the three hours away from billing the suuper rich could pay for most of one of your super car leases and that is what matters most to some isn't it?











[Edited 2004-04-07 18:05:11]
Pray hard but pray with care For the tears that you are crying now Are just your answered prayers
 
ctbarnes
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RE: Why I'm A "Professional Complainer"

Thu Apr 08, 2004 12:42 am

Frankly, IHAP, if complaining here is an effective outlet that helps you cope with life, by all means do it! It's cheaper then a therapist.

In any event, I've noticed there are plenty people on these boards who love to complain in order to get attention, but to be honest I would not characterize you as one of them. You've had more than your share of real life problems, and I think you have a legitimate right to complain. I hope things start to turn around soon.

Prayers for you and your family,

Charles, SJ

Husband: That's disgusting!

Wife: Moan, moan, moan...

(Apologies to Monty Python)
The customer isn't a moron, she is your wife -David Ogilvy
 
Greg
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RE: Why I'm A "Professional Complainer"

Thu Apr 08, 2004 12:51 am

You're a nurse, right? or a Technician. Surely, you can see that not all symptoms need to be present for any single condition to exist.

It think this article is very valid in many instances. There are a few posters that appear to be 'chronic sympathy seekers'---youself included by your own admission. It's likely this article validates your behaviour.

I'm being as neutral as possible by posting expert opinion---not mine.
 
ctbarnes
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RE: Why I'm A "Professional Complainer"

Thu Apr 08, 2004 1:01 am

So tell me Dr. Greg, how long have you been practicing psychiatry?

Charles, SJ
The customer isn't a moron, she is your wife -David Ogilvy
 
IHadAPheo
Topic Author
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Joined: Mon Sep 17, 2001 3:26 pm

RE: Why I'm A "Professional Complainer"

Thu Apr 08, 2004 1:13 am

"There are a few posters that appear to be 'chronic sympathy seekers'---youself included by your own admission. It's likely this article validates your behaviour."

Hmm let's see
'"chronic sympathy seekers'---youself included by your own admission"

I have admitted that I am a chronic attention seeker?? I doubt it and many user can be accused of being a "chronic sympathy seeker" you know the type always reminding everyone not only WHO they are but WHAT they are.


"It's likely this article validates your behaviour."
Practicing Mdicine without a licence, my my as a lawyer you should know that is a no-no.
Pray hard but pray with care For the tears that you are crying now Are just your answered prayers
 
JBirdAV8r
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RE: Why I'm A "Professional Complainer"

Thu Apr 08, 2004 2:22 am

Greg, there seems to be a disparity in your posts.

Sorry, but I see you as falling vaguely into this category. Certainly not on all accounts...but by some.
Possibly you could seek some counseling to get yourself and your career back on track--at least to get you out of the depressive state.
Again, not an attack...just my opinion.


I'm being as neutral as possible by posting expert opinion---not mine.

------------------
That aside,

As for you, Greg, I am of the opinion that you suffer from an inferiority complex.

From mind-brain.com, theory of the renowned Dr. Alfred Adler:

A frequent problem that Adler noticed was an inferiority complex. Everyone feels inferior to a degree, which motivates us to get better, but some people feel inferior to an extreme. Parental neglect is a common cause of this mindset. People might cope with an inferiority complex by becoming tentative, helpless, and lazy, or by engaging in behavior, called overcompensation. Overcompensation involves trying to hide one's sense of inferiority from others and even from oneself. People who overcompensate might be vocal about their successes and qualities and exaggerate them. Also, they tend to get wrapped up in status, power, and materialism. They believe all of these things give the appearance of superiority (Weiten, 1992, p. 484).

Inferiority complexes can be brought on by many different things, notably a lack of social acceptance (i.e. being in a minority group of people, which you have stated that you are).

I think this article is very valid in many instances. There are a few posters that exhibit these symptoms; I opine that you are one of these forum members. It's likely this article validates your behavior.

Greg, I suggest that you seek counseling for this complex. I think you'll find it'll make you a much happier individual (i.e. one that does not seek self-validation and self-confirmation over the Internet). I believe others on the board share my viewpoint.
I got my head checked--by a jumbo jet
 
tbar220
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RE: Why I'm A "Professional Complainer"

Thu Apr 08, 2004 2:25 am

Damn Greg, show a little sympathy, maybe be even a bit sensitive. It won't hurt you you know.
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Greg
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RE: Why I'm A "Professional Complainer"

Thu Apr 08, 2004 2:36 am

I am merely posting a piece of an article that I feels supports and validates my earlier comments. That, in itself, is hardly threatening---and was certainly not meant to be.

I did not single you out as the only chronic sympathy seeker. Possibly, just one of the more prolific.

Every week it's a different/new/worse tragedy. Actually, it follows the tenets of Dr. Feldmen's treatise fairly well. At some point, I have to wonder, just how many forums do these same 'sympathy seekers' with cybersicknesses post---just so they can solicit hundreds of well wishing responses. It's actually a victimization of all that get sucked up into the hoax.

I'm not quite sure how posting an independent article could ever be misconstrued as to be 'practicing medicine'.

My orignal comments stand.

It's an interesting discussion but I'm off the rest of this week and am going to lunch!
 
IHadAPheo
Topic Author
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RE: Why I'm A "Professional Complainer"

Thu Apr 08, 2004 3:26 am

"Every week it's a different/new/worse tragedy" kinda sounds like life to me, but then I know that the super rich and super important all knowing and powerful are not bothered by such things as everyday problems since they can simply wave their hands or pay some meaningless underling to wave their hands since it would be beneth them to take the effort, and make all tose nasty things go away.

Life is life and I am deep;y sorry that you feel the need to place yourself above us all and pass judgement on anyone (well I guess that is everyone) who is not your equal and a shitty as my life may be rightnow I would never trade my life or my family for your life whatever your life is in truth and not some Jeff from Richmond rant of glory real or imagined.
Pray hard but pray with care For the tears that you are crying now Are just your answered prayers
 
Greg
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RE: Why I'm A "Professional Complainer"

Thu Apr 08, 2004 3:48 am

You did it right here:

"Life is life and I am deep, sorry you feel the need to place yourself above us and pass judgment on anyone......and as shitty as my life may be right now..."

Seriously, you've got to see that you actively seek people to feel sorrow for you. You absolutely martyr yourself in almost every post.

JBird...if anything I suffer for a Superiority complex. But no harm done. I view myself as being fairly well adjusted....just overcompetitive (but nothing wrong with that!)--but your post was cute, nonetheless.
 
fspilot747
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RE: Why I'm A "Professional Complainer"

Thu Apr 08, 2004 3:48 am

Greg, go enjoy your M5, your hefty salary, and your good looks because that seems to be all that matters to you in life.



FSP
 
seb146
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RE: Why I'm A "Professional Complainer"

Thu Apr 08, 2004 4:40 am

Pheo:

"Professional Complainer" does not seem to fit your situation. You are frustrated and with good reason. If venting on this board releves some of your frustration, then by all means: VENT!!! I know it may not seem like the best solution to you but you may need to look into relocating. Everyone always has options. Even in back-to-wall situations.

But, in when one is frustrated, there is that period of venting. So (sorry to sound gay but....) You Go Boy!! Big grin

GO CANUCKS!!
Patriotic and Proud Liberal
 
Greg
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RE: Why I'm A "Professional Complainer"

Thu Apr 08, 2004 5:07 am

Actually of more importance, what reason did they give you for terminating your employ while on medical leave? What is a RIF..or..? Were you on LTD?

While I wouldn't want to appear the least bit litigious to these fine forum minds (yeah, right!)---have you had your seperation reviewed in terms of fair measures in regard to current Americans with Disability, Family and Medical Leave, as well as state and local laws?

It may be the best couple hundred bucks you spend. Not that it's any of my business. Just a suggestion.
 
garnetpalmetto
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RE: Why I'm A "Professional Complainer"

Thu Apr 08, 2004 5:23 am

Greg, I realize in your life of privilege, hardship may not have affected you to the same extent that us peons in the Middle Class may have experienced, but give IHAP a break. If you need someone to express your problems regarding the stresses of life, you can afford a psychiatrist who overcharges you and then talks about your problems over cocktails with her colleagues. Somehow, I doubt IHAP can afford that luxury. If venting on a.net about his employment and medical problems keeps IHAP from losing hope one day, buying a shotgun, going postal at his former job or just blowing his own brains out, more power to him. Besides, if it's mere Munchausen Syndrome as you contend, I'll readily take IHAP. Better someone with Munchausen Syndrome than an insufferably arrogant boor who, dare I say it, maybe needs some personal tragedy to afflict him in order to find out that life isn't all roses.
South Carolina - too small to be its own country, too big to be a mental asylum.
 
IHadAPheo
Topic Author
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RE: Why I'm A "Professional Complainer"

Thu Apr 08, 2004 6:20 am

My employment situation is a as follows.. while I was preparing to move from one position to another, since I wanted to be back in a more hands on patient position, I had a few falls and after my latest MRI (as previously discussed in another thread) they found a herniated cervical disc. While I was on disability I had officially ended my last postion and had not yet worked a day in my new postion and with the lifting limitations imposed on me and being on disability I was unable to start the new position end result old job not only gone but elimated after I left. I was unable to start the new position in given time frame and the postion by contract was opened for rebid, so I'm now on layoff-recall. Which gives me first rights to any job I am qualifed for.

The ADA or FMLA do not apply in my case or so I'm told by the union lawyer. Right now I am waitting to find a position that I am both qualified for and physically cpable of doing in house as well as searching for positions outside as well.

I am not to keen on trying for Social Security since I do want to work and be productive and in fact do love to work and I have made the choice to work in a way that is far more rewarding in a emotional way than a $$ one.







Pray hard but pray with care For the tears that you are crying now Are just your answered prayers
 
redngold
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RE: Why I'm A "Professional Complainer"

Thu Apr 08, 2004 6:32 am

Greg,

Why don't you just stay out of it instead of coming across as a jacka**? Seriously, you are just digging a bigger hole for yourself.

You of all people (as a lawyer) should know that complex medical problems and preexisting conditions such as IHAP's make it difficult to get an appropriate level of care, let alone insurance and employment coverage. In my own case, I have a mental illness called Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, but I don't have many obvious rituals, which means I can work full-time and appear normal while I'm struggling to think straight in my head. My previous insurance would have covered more if I had gotten so sick as to require hospitalization; in a way, I feel penalized by the health care system because I CAN work a full-time job.

Some of us just get bad luck. Some of those who have bad luck talk their problems out -- it's another way of coping. If you can't deal with it, then DON'T READ THE THREADS. Exercise some self-control, man!
Up, up and away!
 
Greg
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RE: Why I'm A "Professional Complainer"

Thu Apr 08, 2004 6:32 am

GarnetPalm.....you kind of pissed me off here.

Most of us have had personal tragedy in our lives--myself included--and have overcome those obstacles. And likely it was not by vomiting the issues all over an internet forum ad naseum.

How peculiar that you actually wish personal tragedy on anyone. That, alone, says more about your character than anything else. I would dare say that you could benefit from some counseling as well.

Life of privilege? Yeah...maybe one day. But, if that's how you perceive it, fine--that's not my issue, either. I've earned every nickel and paid my dues.
Brgds.
 
garnetpalmetto
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RE: Why I'm A "Professional Complainer"

Thu Apr 08, 2004 6:48 am

You misunderstand - I don't wish to see personal tragedy come upon anyone, but instead meant that from your pontificating it seemed you were foreign to it. If IHAP needs to "vomit" his issues to deal with them, what's the big deal? He's dealing with them in a non-violent manner. It's good enough for me. If you have to deal with your issues by feeling you're superior to those around you, good for you.
South Carolina - too small to be its own country, too big to be a mental asylum.
 
ctbarnes
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RE: Why I'm A "Professional Complainer"

Thu Apr 08, 2004 8:35 am

IHAP,

It seems the compassionately challenged on this forum, like the poor in the world, will always be with us. Take my advice: vent here if you need to. There are plenty of people here who are willing to listen, or better still, drop an E-mail, if you want to do so "off board."

You've got a lot of friends here. Don't let the members who really do think the world revolves around them get you down. Best thing to do is ignore them.

BTW, do you have a degree? If so, have you ever considered teaching?

Charles, SJ

[Edited 2004-04-08 01:38:05]
The customer isn't a moron, she is your wife -David Ogilvy
 
redngold
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RE: Why I'm A "Professional Complainer"

Thu Apr 08, 2004 8:40 am

I'll second what CTBarnes said... You can drop me an e-mail any time, too.

Also, make sure you're talking about this with your wife and family... Remember that we only know you on-screen, and they know you in person... Your wife has a responsibility and a privilege to help you through these situations (it's in the vows, right?)  Smile

Best wishes,
redngold

[my e-mail is available via my profile]
Up, up and away!
 
Greg
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RE: Why I'm A "Professional Complainer"

Thu Apr 08, 2004 8:48 am

When you vent on a public forum, clearly you have to accept the consequences of the audience you are addressing. Full Stop. People will provide both concurring and dissenting opinions. So that issue is moot.

Thank you for clearing your statement GP (and no, not once have I even said I was better than anyone else on this forum....OK..maybe KROC).

Redngold....I see you suffer from the same problem ("let me tell you MY problems with OCD..and have I have to overcome them....").

I'm not compassionately challenged by any means. I'm just not real big on people that complain a lot. The energy is much better expended in solving the issue instead of explaining/complaining/blaming it on some outside factor or the shear 'bad luck of it all'.

It's a very simple premise. But don't confuse the message with the messenger--at least try to see what I'm saying even if I'm on your 'disrespect' list.
 
174thfwff
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RE: Why I'm A "Professional Complainer"

Thu Apr 08, 2004 9:44 am

Greg,
This is a discussion forum...Deal with it. Nobody is forcing you to come to this website, or read specific threads. If you don't' like it, stay out.
Brooklyn, Queens, Manhattan, Staten, Uptown, what now? Lets make it happen.
 
redngold
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RE: Why I'm A "Professional Complainer"

Thu Apr 08, 2004 10:04 am

Lots of people have OCD. YOU are clearly the person who thinks that because I mention it, I am pretending I'm the only one who has it. You are overreacting to the fact that IHAP and I, and others on this forum, are willing to talk about our personal struggles with illness in public. I have no delusions that anyone else has it worse than I do, but I choose to make it public so others will 1) know that there are sane people out there who deal with serious illness, and 2) that those who are out there with the same illness are not alone.

As I said before, if you don't like it, GO AWAY!
Up, up and away!
 
Greg
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RE: Why I'm A "Professional Complainer"

Thu Apr 08, 2004 10:09 am

Why is everyone telling me to "deal with it" when I'm not the one having the problem with any of the posts!

We are all expressing opinions on a public forum (ok ok on a private domain). My last post was very clear in that aspect.

No one is requiring ANYONE to read or respond to ANY of the posts on here--including mine. Being in that it is a discussion forum (as you stated)....of course it would be rather ridiculous to assume that everyone would have the same opinion. It would be a rather boring forum.

As I stated..some will agree..others will disagree. I am not being contrary to be difficult...I have posted what I thought was a rather neutral article explaining a condition which I felt was germain to the discussion. It is neither inflammatory or derogatory. I don't think I've lost my temper or called anyone and a$$hole or sh*thead (like some). My temperament is fine.

I'm glad at least ONE person got it...thank you 174thfwff!
 
IHadAPheo
Topic Author
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RE: Why I'm A "Professional Complainer"

Thu Apr 08, 2004 10:23 am

I am deeply sorry that my attempt to discuss my life has caused so much anger, I was only trying to let people here know a little more about my life. I am sorry that my thoughts are "vomit" and my life experiences are not wotrthy of the high and mightys concearn. I also a sorry that Some are so lacking in compassion and have such little regard for others while all the time reminding everyone how superior they are. I do not know what they are compensating for but turning the verbosity up to 11 and telling tales greatness are quite a drag
Pray hard but pray with care For the tears that you are crying now Are just your answered prayers
 
fspilot747
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RE: Why I'm A "Professional Complainer"

Thu Apr 08, 2004 10:55 am

Greg, I wouldn't be super happy that 174thfwff agrees with you.

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