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Flying For Dummies

Fri Jul 02, 2004 1:00 am

From todays Daily Mail

1. Every take-off is optional. Every landing is mandatory.
2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again.
3. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is.
4. It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there, than up there wishing you were down here.
5. The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.
6. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. If it stops, watch the pilot sweat.
7. When in doubt, increase your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky.
8. A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great' landing is one after which they can use the plane again.
9. You know you've landed with the wheels up if it takes full power to taxi to the ramp.
10. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival.
11. Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five minutes earlier.
12. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining might be another aeroplane. Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide in clouds.
13. Always try to keep the number of your landings equal to the number of your take-offs.
14. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.
15. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, experience usually comes from bad judgment.
16. In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminium going hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose.
17. Helicopters can't fly, they're just so ugly the Earth repels them.
18. It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward.
19. Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed.
20. Gravity is not just a good idea, it's a law. And it's not subject to appeal.
21. The three most useless things to a pilot are the altitude above you, the runway behind you, and a tenth of a second ago.

My interest lies in the future as I am going to spend the rest of my life there!

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