I was married twice before and unfortunately I let myself being pressed into getting married due to immigration reasons (Immgration officer:"If you don´t marry your girlfriend we will deport her!") and cultural expectations: "I´m a good Roman-Catholic/Muslim woman, I can´t live with you without getting married, my family wouldn´t accept this!". In both cases it turned out that the women were more interested in my citizenship to get a permanent residence in Germany (If not for this they probably would have never been interested in me, on the other hand they both were quite good looking and both were good actresses, pretending to love me), and the second one also in maintenance (I was still a college student when I was with the first one, I got my act together and landed in a wellpaying job through my own work, no help from her, while being with the second one).
I´m in a permanent distance relationship with an educated Filipino women working in another European country (she´s got her own residence permit through her job and a good income of her own) since about 4 years, we see each other regularely, and I can seriously imagine that we might get married some day, but I refuse to let myself be pressed into marriage again by outside people, like immigration officers or her relatives and friends (who are already asking when I will marry her due to her countries customs, something like Roman-Catholic Bavaria 50 years ago).
In a few years we both might move to a third country, where we both can live together for a few years and then finaly make up our minds. In meantime, we treat each other with respect and love. If I get married again, I want the marriage to last, and not to fall apart again.
[Edited 2004-09-23 06:43:04]
Je Suis Charlie et je suis Ahmet aussi