Capital146
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Best Ways To Deal With Narrow-minded People?

Fri Nov 19, 2004 4:14 am

I started a new job a few weeks ago, and from a work perspective I am enjoying things very much.

However, a number of the people in my team are really starting to grind me down due to their constant narrow-minded comments and attitudes. For example, they have made a number of racist comments despite the fact that there is a guy sat near us of Asian origin who I'm sure would be able to hear what they are saying. Also, today they were in the middle of one of their routine 'gay-joke' sessions when the guy from the other end of the office, who is openly gay, walks over to deliver some files. Not sure if he heard the comments.

If there was only one person saying all this cr@p then I'd completely ignore them but as there are a few of them it's more difficult and I've found that I'm cutting myself off from most of my colleagues, which isn't good from a work perspective. I also get the feeling that the knives would be out if I 'dared' to confront them about it, the women especially seem to like nothing more than to have a good b!tch behind people's backs.

Other than look for another job, which I really don't want to do, what else can anyone suggest so that they don't irritate me as much?

Like a fine wine, one gets better with age.
 
tristarenvy
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Joined: Wed Jan 21, 2004 2:07 am

RE: Best Ways To Deal With Narrow-minded People?

Fri Nov 19, 2004 4:19 am

Be pleasant w/everybody involved, and appear to be "independent" of them. I used to have a job in a very political, and "clickish" office like yours. I actually bought a Swiss flag and hung it in my work space to announce to all that "I'm Neutral, and on nobody in particulars side!"

If you don't stand for SOMETHING, you'll fall for ANYTHING.
 
WellHung
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RE: Best Ways To Deal With Narrow-minded People?

Fri Nov 19, 2004 4:21 am

report them to the boss and take their jobs
 
xpat
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Joined: Thu Nov 04, 2004 4:34 am

RE: Best Ways To Deal With Narrow-minded People?

Fri Nov 19, 2004 4:21 am

Always a tough situation to be in. Are the comments derogatory in nature? I know where I work, if someone new were to join they would be shocked at the things we say about/to each other. It would not be obvious to the new person that the level of camraderie we all have permits the trash we speak to each other (it's always in jest). Is it possible that the people at work actually have a close relationship and what they're saying is all in fun. Of course, I am in no way trying to contradict your feelings towards this, if in fact the comments are rude and offensive.

Of course at this stage you should not look for another job! It's a tougie this situation, and I'm really not sure what to suggest. I'm sure I wouldn't know the proper thing to do in a similar situation.
The only thing we have to fear is the sky falling on our heads. -Asterix
 
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yyz717
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RE: Best Ways To Deal With Narrow-minded People?

Fri Nov 19, 2004 4:26 am

"narrow mindedness" is a very subjective label. simply do a good job and limit your social contacts with them if need be.

I dumped at the gybe mark in strong winds when I looked up at a Porter Q400 on finals. Can't stop spotting.
 
AlekToronto
Posts: 321
Joined: Thu Nov 27, 2003 7:42 am

RE: Best Ways To Deal With Narrow-minded People?

Fri Nov 19, 2004 4:26 am

Whatever you do not confront them - narrowminded people do not want or like to be criticized and the situation will only get worse ("Can you believe what he said?") - been there, done that. Probably the best thing to do is do your job well and develop a thick skin, just don't play their games.
Show them you are a better person and above their crap.

cheers
Alek
 
desertjets
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RE: Best Ways To Deal With Narrow-minded People?

Fri Nov 19, 2004 4:36 am

The most that you can really do at this time is to ask them, politely, that you find those comments/jokes/whatever offensive, inappropriate, or better yet unprofessional when you are working with them.

It is also one thing if they do this when "shooting the shit" so to speak or when you are actually trying to work together to get stuff done. If it is the former then I would just not get involved with them and stick to your work. If it is the later than my above suggestion might be appropriate.
Stop drop and roll will not save you in hell. --- seen on a church marque in rural Virginia
 
JetService
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Joined: Mon Feb 21, 2000 1:12 pm

RE: Best Ways To Deal With Narrow-minded People?

Fri Nov 19, 2004 5:44 am

Going to your boss or HR now would probably not be a productive move. Complaints by recent hires are generally dismissed and you'll possibly be pegged as a troublemaker or whiner, thus helping no one. Also, if your colleagues find out, they will successfully destroy your employment there, again without really helping anyone else. Since they are so comfortable talking like this, its obviously tolerated. Your best bet is to give yourself some time for the following reasons; establish good standing with management so they value what you have to say; get a better feel for office politics to decide the most prudent response; to find out why this behavior is tolerated; and finally, to try to figure out why the targets of the discussions are not lodging complaints themselves. With that info, you might know your best move and have a chance to do something about it without losing your job........or you could just quit.
"Shaddap you!"
 
Superfly
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Joined: Thu May 11, 2000 8:01 am

RE: Best Ways To Deal With Narrow-minded People?

Fri Nov 19, 2004 7:38 am

I 2nd. JetService's advice. Being the new person on the job means that any complaint you make will be used against you. I hope this isn't a career job for you.
Bring back the Concorde
 
VSlover
Posts: 1860
Joined: Sat Feb 07, 2004 1:36 am

RE: Best Ways To Deal With Narrow-minded People?

Fri Nov 19, 2004 7:45 am

shoot em.

.


.

.
 
Superfly
Posts: 37735
Joined: Thu May 11, 2000 8:01 am

RE: Best Ways To Deal With Narrow-minded People?

Fri Nov 19, 2004 7:50 am

VSLover:
That's the narrow-minded solution.  Big grin
Bring back the Concorde
 
VSlover
Posts: 1860
Joined: Sat Feb 07, 2004 1:36 am

RE: Best Ways To Deal With Narrow-minded People?

Fri Nov 19, 2004 7:51 am

well to own a gun, first youd have to be a republican...so i guess you're right.

 Smile
 
Superfly
Posts: 37735
Joined: Thu May 11, 2000 8:01 am

RE: Best Ways To Deal With Narrow-minded People?

Fri Nov 19, 2004 7:54 am

VSLover:
I know plenty of Democrats with guns that probably have better aim than L-188. Big grin

Bring back the Concorde
 
cancidas
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Joined: Thu Jul 03, 2003 7:34 am

RE: Best Ways To Deal With Narrow-minded People?

Fri Nov 19, 2004 8:30 am

i have the same problem that you do. where i work, the people are norrow minded and plainly stupid to boot. i learned the ahrd way about how to deal with them. ignore them whenever possible. at my job, i actually have the choice of who i can work with most closely. (2 people per airplane normally) this helps as i pick to work with those that don't give me problems and those that i can actually communicate with. aside from that, i don't hang out in the ramp break room. you'll usually either find me at the gates with the girls or on the ramp doing my own thing. also, i frequently visit a buddy in ops.
"...cannot the kingdom of salvation take me home."

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