Am I scared of death, well the answer is an honest NO.
Why you might ask. Well I was at one point in time, but now I no longer fear death. Here's why.
In the last 8.5 years, I've had my heart turned off (medically), had heart surgery and had the doctors turn my heart back on some 2 hours later. Six years after that, they opened me up again and this time took out most of my internal organs (to get access to my aeorta) and then had to replace much of that with dacron piping. Then they put everything back in (it all still works), sewed me back up and with time I healed.
That's just f*n amazing! I think I'd rather a quick buzzsaw death than go thru all what you have so far. But I greatly appreciate your sharing this experience. I know I don't see every day at little bit blue-er or anything... but I do take time out everyday to take inventory of myself.. how well I feel, how good things are... (not mentioning politics) etc. Yet, hearing or reading about a kid or someone in their early 20s dying (in an accident (NBC chief Dick Ebersol's youngest son), senseless gun shooting, a soldier in Iraq, An abducted teenage girl) those type of things bother me. I know our world is a cruel one... but it really doesn't have to be.. but unfortunately, many in power insist that it be!
Aloges, I believe it was me in the 'Why do people bring religion into everything' post who said 'People are scared to death... thus believing in the Bible.
That being said... well just imagine if the Bible did NOT promise ever-lasting life... there goes the 'whole christian lot' right down the toilet! They'd park the Bible next to their collections of Sports Illustrated and Encyclopedia Britannica (do they still print those?). The 'fear of death' is exactly what forces 'believers' into that specific compartment. They admit it everytime they say 'I'm at peace with myself and god and heaven is waiting for me'... well... no it isn't. And nothing I or anyone says can make them see any different... nor would I try.
When I posted that the other day.. I paused an asked myself... 'with all I've seen and experienced (an still am).. is it possible me to turn and surrender all I am, all I believe, my life to this deity called 'God'?
And the answer is a flat out 'Hell No!' I would be like wishing be back in Basic Training getting yelled at by my Drill Sargeant.. No-- worse! I just remember the bible-thumpers telling me I was able to speak 'in tongues' (the language of angels), I remember all the biblical nonsense (and fear) beaten into my brain since I was 4 or 5. Travelling the world, discussing the subject with a cross section of people, personal investigation into the trek of human endeavors, human triumphs and sufferings.... and on a second look at the bible... you could see the flawed finger-prints of mankind's mastery of manipulation all over it! Especially the tool of 'unabated fear' itself!
I can see how appealing 'god' is to those who know very little of the good and bad of the ways of the world, government, human affairs, human relations, etc. As well as those in great and perpetual despair (at least half the world's population)... it is the only thing they have to hang on to. Hope, it's all they have ...and they're the easiest to be seduced by it... and so often are.
So as for being afraid of death.... yes I am, but I have no choice, I know it's coming and there's nothing I can do about it, but I also know it's nothing personal! Although at my age, I have never spent a night in a hospital (only visit was to get a few stitches in a finger) and in as good of health as I am... I know something could occur and eliminate me in the blink of eye....
...and if it does, that's just the way it goes. Life in the universe is the ultimate paradox... Life then death, more life and more death and it continues...
"Home of the Brave, made by the Slaves..Land of the Free, if you look like me.." T. Jefferson