Matt D
Topic Author
Posts: 8907
Joined: Fri Nov 19, 1999 6:00 am

Dumbed Down Directions

Thu Dec 02, 2004 12:49 pm

I know part of it is thanks to lawyers. And despite the advances in technology over the last generation, people HAVE gotten stupider.

But can anyone top this?

tear open packet and use

why do we need to be told THAT?

 
tbar220
Posts: 6706
Joined: Wed Feb 02, 2000 12:08 pm

RE: Dumbed Down Directions

Thu Dec 02, 2004 12:57 pm

Uhhhh..... who cares?

filler filler
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air2gxs
Posts: 1443
Joined: Mon Jun 18, 2001 1:29 pm

RE: Dumbed Down Directions

Thu Dec 02, 2004 10:57 pm

Directions on Christmas (to all the PC people out there: holiday) lights:

For indoor or outdoor use only.
 
LHMark
Posts: 7048
Joined: Fri Jan 21, 2000 2:18 am

RE: Dumbed Down Directions

Thu Dec 02, 2004 11:04 pm

There's a polish deli here with potato pancakes on the big whiteboard menu, but it says they're "only available by request." Isn't anything you order only available by request?
"Sympathy is something that shouldn't be bestowed on the Yankees. Apparently it angers them." - Bob Feller
 
UTA_flyinghigh
Posts: 6304
Joined: Wed Oct 03, 2001 8:46 pm

RE: Dumbed Down Directions

Thu Dec 02, 2004 11:55 pm

More fun : on Tesco's cheescake packaging, it says "do not turn upside down"...on the bottom Big grin

UTA
Fly to live, live to fly - Air France/KLM Flying Blue Platinum, BMI Diamond Club Gold, Emirates Skywards
 
PHLBOS
Posts: 6507
Joined: Thu Apr 01, 2004 6:38 am

RE: Dumbed Down Directions

Fri Dec 03, 2004 12:05 am

Directions on Christmas (to all the PC people out there: holiday) lights:

For indoor or outdoor use only.


Tbar220
The 'only' portion of that phrase was probably either a typo. or a leftover from the old days when there were indeed separate indoor and outdoor strings. The main difference between indoor and outdoor light strings was whether or not the sockets were weatherproof.

Once upon a time, the now-non-existent C6 series and the C7 (candelabra base) strings were strictly indoor light sets and the C9 (intermediate base) strings were outdoor lights with weatherproof sockets.

Back to the topic at hand, some directions nowadays are absolutely ridiculous. My personal favorite instruction glitches are ones that were translated into English from another language.
"TransEastern! You'll feel like you've never left the ground because we treat you like dirt!" SNL Parady ad circa 1981
 
Boeing4ever
Posts: 4479
Joined: Thu Apr 26, 2001 12:06 pm

RE: Dumbed Down Directions

Fri Dec 03, 2004 12:17 am

American Airlines bag of peanuts:

Step 1: Open bag

Step 2: Eat nuts

hmmm, Step 3: uhhh fly Delta?  Insane

B4e-Forever New Frontiers
 
tristarenvy
Posts: 2235
Joined: Wed Jan 21, 2004 2:07 am

RE: Dumbed Down Directions

Fri Dec 03, 2004 12:19 am

When I got my (new, then) 1979 Mazda GLC, I made it a point to read thru the owners manual. It was a total of something like 30 pages, of which most was check graphs for routine service. Today's cars seem to need to have a book the size of "War and Peace". And most of THAT is simple stuff that anyone who owns a car ought to know about. Example: "If car overheats, allow vehicle to cool before attempting to restart"

What's next? Lawyers disclaimers attached to our bodies warning us we might hurt ourselves?
If you don't stand for SOMETHING, you'll fall for ANYTHING.
 
CanadianNorth
Posts: 3143
Joined: Sat Aug 24, 2002 11:41 am

RE: Dumbed Down Directions

Fri Dec 03, 2004 12:37 am

When we bought a TV a few years ago, we opened up the box, took everything out, and there at the bottom of the box, underneath everything else, was a page of instructions on how to take everything out of the box.  Smokin cool





CanadianNorth
Way to go, nice and slow, never late, 748!
 
CaptOveur
Posts: 6064
Joined: Thu May 06, 2004 3:13 am

RE: Dumbed Down Directions

Fri Dec 03, 2004 12:48 am

Ever wonder why on the bag of dessicant they have "DO NOT EAT" written all over it? Has anyone ever picked up a bag of dessicant and thought mmmmm feels yummy.
Things were better when it was two guys in a dorm room.
 
tristarenvy
Posts: 2235
Joined: Wed Jan 21, 2004 2:07 am

RE: Dumbed Down Directions

Fri Dec 03, 2004 12:58 am

Capt. we all should thank that old fuddy duddy who burned themselves with a cup of McDonalds coffee, for stuff like that.
If you don't stand for SOMETHING, you'll fall for ANYTHING.
 
57AZ
Posts: 2371
Joined: Tue Nov 02, 2004 2:55 pm

RE: Dumbed Down Directions

Fri Dec 03, 2004 9:34 am

As we type, California is attempting to simplify the jury instructions that the judge presents to the jury in criminal trials. Needless to say, this has resulted in the plain English translations of Legalese being more wordy and complicated than if they bothered to impanel a competitant jury with a diverse enough vocabulary to understand the basic legalese in the jury instructions. Then again, the US Constitution guarantees the right to a trial by a jury of one's peers. Their efforts have also been complicated due to the fact that the City of Los Angeles somehow managed to get a copyright on their simplified criminal jury instructions and threatened to take the State of California to court for copyright infringement if they used the same instructions for the state courts. Then again, no one said that the decision makers in Los Angeles city government were all smart (no offense intended to those who are smart).

[Edited 2004-12-03 01:35:47]
"When a man runs on railroads over half of his lifetime he is fit for nothing else-and at times he don't know that."

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