If you watch 'Airline' on A&E, you'll see that you won't get very far at all! The drunk passengers on that show are told to either sober up and go on a later flight, or they are escorted out of the airport by security.
On a lighter note, you would probably end up somewhere with a pretty big headache, no money left, and no idea where you are.
When I get drunk I don't all sloppy & stupid. I still maintain control of myself.
One time I had a half bottle of Jack Daniels because I knew I'd be stuck on a Continental flight from LAX to ORD with a stopover in Houston.
Anything to get me through a CO flight helps.