Flight 101 is coming in for landing under the control of the co-pilot, and the pilot is freaking out. The sweat is jumping off his brow. The plane lands and screeches to a halt.
Relieved the pilot turns to the co-pilot and says, 'Man, that was the shortest runway I ever landed on.'
The co-pilot says, 'Yeah, which is weird because it's soooooo wide.'
One night, a Delta twin engine plane was flying somewhere above New Jersey. There were five people on board: the pilot, David Beckham, Bill Gates, the Dalai Lama and a hippie.
Suddenly the passenger cabin began to fill with smoke. The cockpit door opened, and the pilot burst into the compartment.
'Gentlemen,' he began, 'I have good news and bad news.
The bad news is that we're about to crash in New Jersey.
The good news is that there are four parachutes, and I have one of them!'
With that, The pilot threw open the door and jumped from the plane.
David Beckham was on his feet in a flash. 'Gentlemen,' he said, 'I am the world's greatest athlete. The world needs great athletes. I think the world's greatest athlete should have a parachute!'
With these words, he grabbed one of the remaining parachutes and hurtled through the door and into the night.
Bill Gates rose and said, 'Gentlemen, I am the world's smartest man. The world needs smart men. I think the world's smartest man should have a parachute too!'
He grabbed one, and out he jumped. The Dalai lama and the hippie looks at one another.
Finally, the Dalai Lama spoke, 'My son,' he said, 'I have lived a satisfying life and have known the bliss of true enlightenment. You have your life ahead of you, you take the last parachute, and I will go down with the plane.'
the hippie smiled and said, 'Hey don't worry, pop. The world's smartest man just jumped out wearing my backpack.'
An airline recently introduced a special half-price fare for wives accompanying their husbands on business trips. Anticipating some valuable testimonials, the publicity department of the airline sent out letters to all the wives of businessmen who used the special rates, asking how they enjoyed their trip.
Responses are still pouring in asking, 'What trip?'
Why drive when you can fly?