PHLBOS
Topic Author
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How To Tell If You're From Massachusetts

Tue Jan 04, 2005 7:58 am

Another one from my e-mail archieves; this one focuses on my previous home state. Note that some of the references predate the Red Sox winning the World Series last October.

Feel free to add a few more.

How to tell if you're from Massachusetts.........

1) The person driving in front of you is going 70 mph and you are
cursing him for going too slow.

2) The fact that Route 128 and I-95 are pretty much the same thing
doesn't confuse you.

3) When ordering a tonic, you mean a Coke...not quinine water.

4) You actually enjoy driving around rotaries.

5) You almost feel disappointed when someone doesn't flip you the bird
when you cut them off or steal their parking space.

6) You know how to pronounce the names of towns like Worcester,
Billerica, Haverhill, Barre and Cochituate.

7) You have driven to New Hampshire on a Sunday in order to get beer.

8) You know that there are two Bulger brothers, and that they're both crooks.

9) You know what they sell at a packie.

10) You knew that there was no chance in hell that the Patriots would
move to Hartford.

11) You laugh at all the other states in New England.

12) You know at least one bar where you can get something to drink
after last call.

13) You can actually find your way around Boston.

14) You have gone to at least one party at UMass.

15) The curse of the Bambino is taught in public schools.

16) You refer to the New York Yankees as the Devil's spawn, or
something worse.

17) Colleges are used as landmarks for directions, i.e., Go past MIT
until you hit Harvard. Take a right and go past Lesley. Keep going
until you get to Tufts (actual directions).

18) Doug Flutie is the greatest athlete ever.

19) Evacuation Day is a recognized holiday.

20) You know at least one guy named Sean, Pat, Whitey, Red, Bud or Seamus.

21) You think the rest of the country owes you for Thanksgiving and
Independence Day.

22) You laughed at the kids down south who never got snow days.

23) You feel that the rest of the world needs to drive more like you.

24) You know The Beanpot is a hockey tournament, not a serving
container.

25) You have never been to Cheers.

26) You can recognize a girl from Revere simply by her hair.

27) You remember exactly where you were when the ball rolled through
Buckner's legs.

28) You know that there is a bigger difference between Roxbury and West
Roxbury than just a compass direction.

29) Somebody calls UMass "ZooMass" and you take it as a compliment.

30) When the words "WICKED" and "GOOD" go together.

31) When you pray for the Red Sox to win the World Series not this
season, but in your lifetime. We now have to cross this one off the list.

33) When you know how to make a frappe.

34) When you know that "Big Dig" is also a kind of ice cream you can
get at Brigham's.

35) When you actually know how to merge from 6 lanes of traffic down to one.

36) When you know what "Southie" is. And how it is different from the
South End.

37) When you are proud to drink Sam Adams and think that the rest of
the country owes Bostonians a big thank you.

38) When St. Patrick's Day is your favorite holiday.

39) When you never go to "Cape Cod", you go "down the Cape".

40) If you cried when Boston Garden was torn down.

41) When you think that Roger Clemens, Wade Boggs and Derek Jeter are
more evil than Whitey Bulger.

42) You went to Old Sturbridge Village, Plimouth Plantation, or both,
on a field trip in grammar school.

43) You're aware that there is a town, somewhere in Massachusetts,
named Brimfield where they have the biggest outdoor antique market in the
world.

44) You can drive to the mountains and the ocean all in one day.
(But who'd want to?)

45) You have a special place in your heart for the Worcester
firefighters.

46) If you live in Charlton City, most likely 99% of your family does
as well.

47) You know that the Mass Pike is some sort of strange weather
dividing line.

48) You know that P Town isn't the name of a new rap group.

49) You know that Ludlow is 90% Portuguese and that Fall River is 90%
Lebanese.

And, the final and most important way to know that you are from
Massachusetts...

50) You do not recognize the letter "R" as a part of the English
language.
"TransEastern! You'll feel like you've never left the ground because we treat you like dirt!" SNL Parady ad circa 1981
 
vikkyvik
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Joined: Thu Jul 31, 2003 1:58 pm

RE: How To Tell If You're From Massachusetts

Tue Jan 04, 2005 9:52 am

Yeah, I've got about 39 of those that apply to me. But hey, I went to college in California.

I'd also say:

51.) That you know of a holiday called Patriots Day.

But I don't actually know how much of the country has that - I just know that no one at school had heard of it.

EDIT: 52.) They increased the max speed in the state from 55 to 65, and you still drive 80

~Vik

[Edited 2005-01-04 01:58:43]
I'm watching Jeopardy. The category is worst Madonna songs. "This one from 1987 is terrible".
 
StevenUhl777
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RE: How To Tell If You're From Massachusetts

Tue Jan 04, 2005 12:14 pm

19) Evacuation Day is a recognized holiday

Which is also known as St. Patrick's Day. Of all the cities in the country, they don't think of it that way...instead it's known as Evacuation Day, when the Brits left town during the Revolutionary War era.
And the winner for best actress is....REESE WITHERSPOON for 'Walk the Line'!!!!!!!!
 
DeltaGuy
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RE: How To Tell If You're From Massachusetts

Tue Jan 04, 2005 12:26 pm

53. You nominate a BS candidate from your state and cry when he doesn't win  Smile/happy/getting dizzy

DeltaGuy
"The cockpit, what is it?" "It's the little room in the front of the plane where the pilot sits, but that's not importan
 
Delta767300ER
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RE: How To Tell If You're From Massachusetts

Tue Jan 04, 2005 12:45 pm

54. You pak the cah in the yad.

-Delta767300ER

BTW, I love the Mass. accent and I am in no way picking on them!
 
deltairlines
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RE: How To Tell If You're From Massachusetts

Tue Jan 04, 2005 12:50 pm

1a - You flip the bird to someone who doesn't know proper traffic rules and goes 5 under the speed limit (I flipped the bird to a person like this about 10 times, and honked at him a few times as well).

And of course, driving today on the freeway, I was getting disgruntled when someone was clogging up the highway (and by clogging up the highway, I mean going 75...I wasn't alone on this count too).

Jeff
 
DeltaGuy
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Joined: Wed Sep 12, 2001 5:25 am

RE: How To Tell If You're From Massachusetts

Tue Jan 04, 2005 2:47 pm

Well there's one good thing we can take from those Mass. people...I do drive well over the speed limit, and get pissed when someone feels the need to go the actual limit  Pissed I mean, who does that anymore?

DeltaGuy
"The cockpit, what is it?" "It's the little room in the front of the plane where the pilot sits, but that's not importan
 
AAplatnumflier
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RE: How To Tell If You're From Massachusetts

Tue Jan 04, 2005 2:51 pm

I will not be able to contribute to how to tell but I will contribute to how you know you've been there and that is that you have eaten at Legal Seafood....
 
jaysit
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RE: How To Tell If You're From Massachusetts

Tue Jan 04, 2005 3:22 pm

You're only half-right about Doug Flutie.

Not only is he the greatest athlete ever, he's also the cutest athlete ever.
Atheism is Myth Understood.
 
boeingnut
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RE: How To Tell If You're From Massachusetts

Tue Jan 04, 2005 10:17 pm

You can go to a Red Sox-Devil Rays game in Fenway, and still get a good "Yankees Suck" cheer going
Excuse me, but what does God need with a starship?
 
PHLBOS
Topic Author
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RE: How To Tell If You're From Massachusetts

Wed Jan 05, 2005 2:01 am

51.) That you know of a holiday called Patriots Day.

But I don't actually know how much of the country has that - I just know that no one at school had heard of it.


It's a holiday that is observed only in Massachusetts; the third Monday in the month of April... the same day that the Boston Marathon is run.
"TransEastern! You'll feel like you've never left the ground because we treat you like dirt!" SNL Parady ad circa 1981
 
LH423
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RE: How To Tell If You're From Massachusetts

Wed Jan 05, 2005 2:22 am

50a. The 'r' is observed in places where it shouldn't. Example: "The weatha down in Florider is nice this time of yeah." The idea is that when one word ends with a vowel sound and the following word begins with a vowel sound you need what's called a "linking r" to bring the two sounds together as we're too lazy to actually pronounce each individual sound.

LH423
« On ne voit bien qu'avec le cœur. L'essentiel est invisible pour les yeux » Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
 
TWFirst
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RE: How To Tell If You're From Massachusetts

Wed Jan 05, 2005 2:34 am

55. You can legally marry your life partner, regardless of their gender.
An unexamined life isn't worth living.
 
Tom in NO
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RE: How To Tell If You're From Massachusetts

Wed Jan 05, 2005 2:41 am

55) Your other Senator, allegedly drunk, couldn't rescue Mary Jo Kopechne from drowning..........supposedly.

Tom at MSY
"The criminal ineptitude makes you furious"-Bruce Springsteen, after seeing firsthand the damage from Hurricane Katrina
 
csavel
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RE: How To Tell If You're From Massachusetts

Wed Jan 05, 2005 3:26 am

LH423,

Actually any non-Rhotic accent (that is an accent where they don't pronounce 'r's) will put Rs in between two vowels. We do it in New Yawk too.

Although not from Mass, I can add one more to the list.

You can name at least one song that Jonathan Richman wrote other than 'Roadrunner'
I may be ugly. I may be an American. But don't call me an ugly American.
 
SlamClick
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RE: How To Tell If You're From Massachusetts

Wed Jan 05, 2005 3:36 am

56. You actually think James Taylor is masculine.
57. You are a Kennedy cousin.
Happiness is not seeing another trite Ste. Maarten photo all week long.
 
Palm90
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RE: How To Tell If You're From Massachusetts

Fri Jan 07, 2005 8:34 am

58. You mourn the loss of local stores like Zayres, Lechmere, and Bradlees.

59. You pronounce the cities of Worcester "Wooster" and Medford "Medfud".

60. You remember where you where and what you were doing on February 8-9, 1978.

61. You know that Rte 128 is known as "America's Technology Highway".

62. You know that "big hair country" refers to the cities of Braintree, Quincy, and Revere.
We're through the looking glass here, people. White is black and black is white.
 
PHLBOS
Topic Author
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RE: How To Tell If You're From Massachusetts

Fri Jan 07, 2005 8:50 am

59. You pronounce the cities of Worcester "Wooster" and Medford "Medfud".

Actually, Worcester residents pronounce their city as "Wister".

63. You pronounce the town of Leicester as "Lester".


"TransEastern! You'll feel like you've never left the ground because we treat you like dirt!" SNL Parady ad circa 1981
 
Palm90
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RE: How To Tell If You're From Massachusetts

Fri Jan 07, 2005 9:42 am

64. You refer to the City of Cambridge as "The People's Republic of Cambridge" and the Town of Milton as "Toasterville" (think Kellogg's Pop-Tarts)
We're through the looking glass here, people. White is black and black is white.
 
bravo7e7
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RE: How To Tell If You're From Massachusetts

Fri Jan 07, 2005 10:42 am

65. When Ted Kennedy is your conservative senator.

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