jfkaua
Posts: 972
Joined: Tue Aug 31, 2004 7:42 am

You Know Your An American When...

Wed Jan 05, 2005 7:20 am

1. You find cricket to be boring but watch golf, bowling or curling on TV.
2. When you see anyone at all pass by you on the road, you greet them with a
"Howz it goin", "Whassup" or "How you doin" and keep walking on.
3. You express sarcasm with "Yeah, right."
4. You think everyone in the world knows about the O.J. Simpson case.
 
dl021
Posts: 10836
Joined: Fri May 21, 2004 12:04 pm

RE: You Know Your An American When...

Wed Jan 05, 2005 7:26 am

S'up? What the hell is curling? Does it involve beer or weightlifting? Does anyone watch it on TV? Yeah, right!

Hey, did you see that O.J. is gonna be at the Orange Bowl tonight? Guys, lock your ladies up!
Is my Pan Am ticket to the moon still good?
 
SK A340
Posts: 829
Joined: Thu Mar 09, 2000 2:44 am

RE: You Know Your An American When...

Wed Jan 05, 2005 7:29 am


5. You laugh at the rest of the world when they are playing football with their feet.

 Big grin

/SK A340
 
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solnabo
Posts: 5005
Joined: Fri Jan 11, 2008 8:53 am

RE: You Know Your An American When...

Wed Jan 05, 2005 8:29 am


....when you drink black coffee w dinner!

Micke/SE  Insane
Airbus SAS - Love them both
 
N766UA
Posts: 7843
Joined: Thu Jul 29, 1999 3:50 am

RE: You Know Your An American When...

Wed Jan 05, 2005 8:30 am

When you make "You know you're a _________ when" jokes.
This Website Censors Me
 
aerobalance
Posts: 4308
Joined: Sat Sep 23, 2000 8:35 am

RE: You Know Your An American When...

Wed Jan 05, 2005 8:31 am

6. You're a marked target by Osama
"Sing a song, play guitar, make it snappy..."
 
yukimizake
Posts: 506
Joined: Mon Mar 29, 2004 10:20 am

RE: You Know Your An American When...

Wed Jan 05, 2005 8:32 am

You can buy a gun at Walmart.
'Opfer müssen gebracht werden (Sacrifices must be made)' - Otto Lilienthal
 
david b.
Posts: 2894
Joined: Fri Jun 15, 2001 7:18 pm

RE: You Know Your An American When...

Wed Jan 05, 2005 8:35 am

You are 100 pounds overweight  Wink/being sarcastic
Teenage-know-it-alls should be shot on sight
 
aerobalance
Posts: 4308
Joined: Sat Sep 23, 2000 8:35 am

RE: You Know Your An American When...

Wed Jan 05, 2005 8:35 am

What's wrong with the guns at K-Mart?
"Sing a song, play guitar, make it snappy..."
 
aloges
Posts: 14842
Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2006 3:38 am

RE: You Know Your An American When...

Wed Jan 05, 2005 8:57 am

"What's wrong with the guns at K-Mart?"

It's an outside-US thing, you wouldn't understand.  Big grin
Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.
 
N766UA
Posts: 7843
Joined: Thu Jul 29, 1999 3:50 am

RE: You Know Your An American When...

Wed Jan 05, 2005 9:02 am

You use "your" in place of the proper "you're."
This Website Censors Me
 
aerobalance
Posts: 4308
Joined: Sat Sep 23, 2000 8:35 am

RE: You Know Your An American When...

Wed Jan 05, 2005 9:07 am

Your country is accused of starting the tsunami........ that is so laughable! Big grin
"Sing a song, play guitar, make it snappy..."
 
aloges
Posts: 14842
Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2006 3:38 am

RE: You Know Your An American When...

Wed Jan 05, 2005 9:13 am

"You use "your" in place of the proper 'you're.' "

OK, since that can o' worms has been opened...

it's instead of its
there instead of their
there instead of they're
(verb)-ize instead of (verb)-ise
would of instead of would've; my biggest hatred, what kind of crap is "would've" anyway?
license instead of licence
color instead of colour
trunk instead of boot
were instead of we're
were instead of where
tho instead of though
thru instead of through

and make a lot of "vowel mistakes" like perminent instead of permanent
Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.
 
martinairyyz
Posts: 1188
Joined: Fri Nov 28, 2003 6:42 am

RE: You Know Your An American When...

Wed Jan 05, 2005 9:15 am

..... your new diet is upgraded from Wendy's to McDonalds daily

..... you think Canada is a small desolate landlocked piece of ice in the middle of nowhere

Chelsea Football Club supporter.
 
b757300
Posts: 3914
Joined: Fri Dec 15, 2000 10:27 pm

RE: You Know Your An American When...

Wed Jan 05, 2005 9:18 am

You Know Your An American When...

You're blamed for everything bad that happens in the rest of the world.
"There is no victory at bargain basement prices."
 
dl021
Posts: 10836
Joined: Fri May 21, 2004 12:04 pm

RE: You Know Your An American When...

Wed Jan 05, 2005 9:24 am

People from other countries gleefully express their resentment of your fortune to be born in the US through their open disdain for your spelling and level of relative sophistication and culture.
Is my Pan Am ticket to the moon still good?
 
yukimizake
Posts: 506
Joined: Mon Mar 29, 2004 10:20 am

RE: You Know Your An American When...

Wed Jan 05, 2005 9:30 am

You know you're American when you're better off pretending to be Canadian when traveling in Europe.
'Opfer müssen gebracht werden (Sacrifices must be made)' - Otto Lilienthal
 
aerobalance
Posts: 4308
Joined: Sat Sep 23, 2000 8:35 am

RE: You Know Your An American When...

Wed Jan 05, 2005 9:36 am

You don't know who Michael Schumacher is....
"Sing a song, play guitar, make it snappy..."
 
iakobos
Posts: 3255
Joined: Wed Aug 06, 2003 6:22 pm

RE: You Know Your An American When...

Wed Jan 05, 2005 11:37 am

Your confident nothin' wud work without ur input

Ian, "relative" was the perfectly appropriate adjective  Big grin
 
martinairyyz
Posts: 1188
Joined: Fri Nov 28, 2003 6:42 am

RE: You Know Your An American When...

Wed Jan 05, 2005 11:41 am

LOL.... nice one Yukimizake!

YKYAA When.......

......... You think you're the best in the world and nobody can even dare be better

......... yOu belIeve a whole Load of lies about....... (check the capitalized words in this sentence)
Chelsea Football Club supporter.
 
iakobos
Posts: 3255
Joined: Wed Aug 06, 2003 6:22 pm

RE: You Know Your An American When...

Wed Jan 05, 2005 11:49 am

You know for sure that Bulgaria is a disease in the mountains of Zimbabwe

You have no knowledge of the word "than"

Your eyes are popping out of their orbits when you discover not all women are filled with plastic or gelatine
 
emiratesa345
Posts: 2043
Joined: Thu Jun 05, 2003 10:11 am

RE: You Know Your An American When...

Wed Jan 05, 2005 12:01 pm

"S'up? What the hell is curling? Does it involve beer or weightlifting? Does anyone watch it on TV? Yeah, right!

Hey, did you see that O.J. is gonna be at the Orange Bowl tonight? Guys, lock your ladies up!"


...when you attempt to make a joke out of something that was said, but use a different sport than what was mentioned.

(Notice he used curling, rather than cricket)

Mark
You and I were meant to fly, Air Canada!
 
xjramper
Posts: 2318
Joined: Wed Dec 10, 2003 1:10 am

RE: You Know Your An American When...

Wed Jan 05, 2005 1:08 pm

You know that Canada is a loft apartment over a really great party.

You don't give a fu*k what the rest of the world says about you.

XJR
Look ma' no hands!
 
Venus6971
Posts: 1415
Joined: Tue Dec 14, 2004 1:55 pm

RE: You Know Your An American When...

Wed Jan 05, 2005 1:54 pm

Hey we don't habla English anyway, we speak bad American English and Spanish with a little Cherokee here in Oklahoma. Yea I know we are getting our heads handed to us now. The state will be mourning until the start of spring football.
To all the South Americans and Europeans on this thread, you guy's got to stop getting your information about Americans from Hollywood and CNN.

Its not bragging if you can do it and show it regulary.
I would help you but it is not in the contract
 
sovietjet
Posts: 2546
Joined: Sat Mar 15, 2003 12:32 am

RE: You Know Your An American When...

Wed Jan 05, 2005 2:09 pm

LOL Iakobos, that's pretty funny.

...........when you smile at someone but don't really know why
 
Boeing7E7
Posts: 5512
Joined: Sat Jul 31, 2004 9:35 pm

RE: You Know Your An American When...

Wed Jan 05, 2005 2:34 pm

Your personal income can feed a family of 20 for 10 years from a third world country...

You continually shake your head at the UN's stupidity...

You don't have to take your kitchen with you when you move...

Your risk of death by serving in the military is small because of technology rather than non-participation in a war...

Your Government is willing to go to war rather than have endless negotiations.

 
QANTASforever
Posts: 5794
Joined: Tue Apr 03, 2001 6:03 am

RE: You Know Your An American When...

Wed Jan 05, 2005 3:07 pm

One thing I have noticed about Americans is a tendency to say: "I could care less" as opposed to "I couldn't care less" - which is weird because both having opposite meanings.

Of course there is the whole "I didn't do nothing" phenomenon - but thats a whole other thread.

QFF
Fighting for the glory of the Australian Republic.
 
pacificjourney
Posts: 2659
Joined: Wed Jul 04, 2001 9:12 pm

RE: You Know Your An American When...

Wed Jan 05, 2005 3:30 pm

... you actually believe you have 'cache' in other countries (or perhaps that's just DL021).
" Help, help ... I'm being oppressed ... "
 
yukimizake
Posts: 506
Joined: Mon Mar 29, 2004 10:20 am

RE: You Know Your An American When...

Wed Jan 05, 2005 3:31 pm

You know you're American when over 2,000,000 of your fellow citizens are currently in prison (#1 in the world, also #1 on a per capita basis).
'Opfer müssen gebracht werden (Sacrifices must be made)' - Otto Lilienthal
 
regupilot
Posts: 452
Joined: Wed Jan 14, 2004 11:45 pm

RE: You Know Your An American When...

Wed Jan 05, 2005 3:49 pm

YKYAA when you go to any United States Postal Office in any US Territory and ask if stamps are 0.37¢.

- When You think USA is the only country and the rest of the world are farms..

Your country is accused of starting the tsunami........ that is so laughable! INDEED Big grin
 
airxliban
Posts: 4285
Joined: Wed Oct 01, 2003 12:14 pm

RE: You Know Your An American When...

Wed Jan 05, 2005 3:53 pm

when you think England starts with an I
PARIS, FRANCE...THE BEIRUT OF EUROPE.
 
Foxy
Posts: 144
Joined: Tue Oct 26, 2004 10:54 pm

RE: You Know Your An American When...

Wed Jan 05, 2005 3:55 pm

When you think Disneyland is a foreign country and you're unable to eat pretzels
 
ZKSUJ
Posts: 6804
Joined: Tue May 18, 2004 5:15 pm

RE: You Know Your An American When...

Wed Jan 05, 2005 7:23 pm

You think French fries are American Big grin
 
zkjim
Posts: 67
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2004 10:45 am

RE: You Know Your An American When...

Wed Jan 05, 2005 7:39 pm

And what the hell is a SIDEWALK?!

Pavement, people, PAVEMENT! Just like the band. Repeat after me. P-A-V-E-M-E-N-T. Big grin
My cat is a total spaz
 
ZKSUJ
Posts: 6804
Joined: Tue May 18, 2004 5:15 pm

RE: You Know Your An American When...

Wed Jan 05, 2005 7:44 pm

Sidewalk=Pavement=(in NZ's case) a Foot path
 
LO231
Posts: 2227
Joined: Tue Sep 28, 2004 5:55 pm

RE: You Know Your An American When...

Wed Jan 05, 2005 8:13 pm

When you cut your steak first, then take the fork in your right hand and don't use the knife anymore.. Big grin
Got both LO 788 frames already, next LO E95 and 734 BRU-WAW-BRU
 
User avatar
solnabo
Posts: 5005
Joined: Fri Jan 11, 2008 8:53 am

RE: You Know Your An American When...

Wed Jan 05, 2005 9:14 pm


....when every yank knows who Hulk Hogan is, but not the name of the president! *LOL*

Micke  Innocent
Airbus SAS - Love them both
 
QANTASforever
Posts: 5794
Joined: Tue Apr 03, 2001 6:03 am

RE: You Know Your An American When...

Wed Jan 05, 2005 9:21 pm

LO231 - I second that completely!!

I had lunch with some americans yesterday and they thought I was weird for keeping my knife and fork in my hands the whole time.

QFF
Fighting for the glory of the Australian Republic.
 
Scorpio
Posts: 4767
Joined: Thu Oct 04, 2001 3:48 am

RE: You Know Your An American When...

Wed Jan 05, 2005 9:34 pm

When you cut your steak first, then take the fork in your right hand and don't use the knife anymore..

ROFL! That one just made my day! So true man, so very true Big grin
 
na
Posts: 9129
Joined: Sun Dec 12, 1999 3:52 am

RE: You Know Your An American When...

Wed Jan 05, 2005 9:55 pm

...when your breakfast has as many calories as a whole Bangladeshi family eats in a day.
...you think Porsche is a great American car.
...you think spreading democracy over the world means obeying the US government in the first place.
...its okay to show a thousand murders a day on TV, but think about a naked female breast on the screen as the victory of Sodom and Gomorrah and the ruin of your children.
 
jasepl
Posts: 3499
Joined: Wed Jul 07, 2004 3:15 pm

RE: You Know Your An American When...

Wed Jan 05, 2005 10:07 pm

...when you have a name such as Hank Biagio Chang or Priya Esperanza Rosenkotter!
 
Ready4Pushback
Posts: 355
Joined: Fri Dec 31, 2004 8:27 pm

RE: You Know Your An American When...

Thu Jan 06, 2005 1:54 am

One thing I have noticed about Americans is a tendency to say: "I could care less" as opposed to "I couldn't care less" - which is weird because both having opposite meanings.

You mean Americans actually mean "I couldn't care less" when they say "I could care less"...? Surely "I could care less" means you must care to some degree, in order for you to be able to care less!?

When You think USA is the only country and the rest of the world are farms

You mean ranches?  Big grin
 
yak42
Posts: 662
Joined: Sun Oct 29, 2000 6:17 am

RE: You Know Your An American When...

Thu Jan 06, 2005 2:19 am

..when you think a non US person talking about Maradona actually means Madonna.
 
aerobalance
Posts: 4308
Joined: Sat Sep 23, 2000 8:35 am

RE: You Know Your An American When...

Thu Jan 06, 2005 2:43 am

Ah yes, Maradona, the wasted one......
"Sing a song, play guitar, make it snappy..."
 
ltbewr
Posts: 12361
Joined: Thu Jan 29, 2004 1:24 pm

RE: You Know Your An American When...

Thu Jan 06, 2005 2:44 am

What everybody else in the world calls football, we call Soccer, and where the only person who uses their foot in out football, is the kicker or punter.
You fly the USA flag outside your home and have flag stickers on you car.
You know of very few people whom have traveled outside of North America.
If you have traveled or seen non-USA national news broadcasts, you think it's wierd they spend considerable time on issues in Africa, Asia, rather than some regional or local murder trial.
English is the only language you know how to speak and write.
You don't have any clue where some of the countries involved in the recent Tursiami are.
You hate the French, Arabs, Islamic peoples, and you expect the world to love you.
You have a vehicle that is larger than those found in 90% of the world.
Your primary vehicle is an SUV.
Your family has 2-3 vehicles.
Gun ownership and possession is a right, not a privilage.
You know that despite the many flaws of our country, many people of the world want to come here to live.


 
skyservice_330
Posts: 1302
Joined: Sat Sep 16, 2000 6:50 am

RE: You Know Your An American When...

Thu Jan 06, 2005 4:00 am

Username: XJRamper
From United States, joined Dec 2003, 619 posts, RR: 6
Reply: 22
Posted Wed Jan 5 2005 05:08:47 UTC+1 and read 323 times:

"You know that Canada is a loft apartment over a really great party."

-You know you're American when you steal jokes from a Robin Williams stand up routine. (See Above)

"If you have traveled or seen non-USA national news broadcasts, you think it's weird they spend considerable time on issues in Africa, Asia, rather than some regional or local murder trial."

ROFL, that was awesome Ltbewr!

Finally ...

"You know you're American when you meet someone from Canada and the first things you ask them are: Do you speak French? Do you play hockey? and What Canadian state are you from?" .... ITS A PROVINCE PEOPLE!!

"You know you're American when you think that any country that has public health care is socialist."
(Probably one of the funniest things I have read on this board in a long time!)

Edited for a typo.


[Edited 2005-01-05 20:07:20]
 
tristarenvy
Posts: 2235
Joined: Wed Jan 21, 2004 2:07 am

RE: You Know Your An American When...

Thu Jan 06, 2005 4:01 am

You go out to eat anywhere in the world, and bemoan the lack of "a good hamburger and Coke" on the menu.

Start any disagreement w/someone in a foreign land with "That's not the way we do it back home!"

"Why the hell is the steering wheel on the WRONG side of the car?!?!?"

If you don't stand for SOMETHING, you'll fall for ANYTHING.
 
User avatar
solnabo
Posts: 5005
Joined: Fri Jan 11, 2008 8:53 am

RE: You Know Your An American When...

Thu Jan 06, 2005 6:13 am

....you hear in supermarkets and other places:- How are you?

Its nagging me to death, you just wanna scream:- Non of youre f****ng buisness!!

Micke  Laugh out loud
Airbus SAS - Love them both
 
QANTASforever
Posts: 5794
Joined: Tue Apr 03, 2001 6:03 am

RE: You Know Your An American When...

Thu Jan 06, 2005 7:17 am

What everybody else in the world calls football, we call Soccer, and where the only person who uses their foot in out football, is the kicker or punter.

Four words: Australia, New Zealand, South Africa - all the same as you buddy.

You mean Americans actually mean "I couldn't care less" when they say "I could care less"...? Surely "I could care less" means you must care to some degree, in order for you to be able to care less!?

It is bizzare. Remember that awful movie "The Wiz"? In it there is a song called "Don't nobody bring me no bad news" - I still can't work out if she wants bad news or not....and it's been about 10 years since I've seen it.

QFF
Fighting for the glory of the Australian Republic.
 
tristarenvy
Posts: 2235
Joined: Wed Jan 21, 2004 2:07 am

RE: You Know Your An American When...

Thu Jan 06, 2005 7:33 am

Or that great catch phrase for an American maker of cakes, and pies, Sara Lee that went, "Nobody dosen't like Sara Lee"
If you don't stand for SOMETHING, you'll fall for ANYTHING.

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