gkirk
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Is Banco Chris Waddle?

Mon Mar 14, 2005 11:12 pm

Just wondering.
Banco, are you the infamous Chris Waddle?  Wink
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Banco
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RE: Is Banco Chris Waddle?

Mon Mar 14, 2005 11:15 pm

You stupid boy.  Yeah sure

I have never had a mullet, for one thing...
She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.
 
gkirk
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RE: Is Banco Chris Waddle?

Mon Mar 14, 2005 11:17 pm

Sorry Banco, but you are either Chris Waddle or one of the Chuckle Brothers. Now which is it?  Wink
And if it is one of the Chuckle Brothers then it's obvious your brother is Andreas  Wink
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Banco
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RE: Is Banco Chris Waddle?

Mon Mar 14, 2005 11:26 pm

Oh, Kirkie, you're in one of those moods. Has Flossie dumped you again? Never mind, old boy, there are plenty more farms in the countryside... Big grin
She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.
 
NoUFO
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RE: Is Banco Chris Waddle?

Mon Mar 14, 2005 11:29 pm

Flossie? You now her (him?) by change?  Wow!
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gkirk
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RE: Is Banco Chris Waddle?

Mon Mar 14, 2005 11:31 pm

Stop changing the subject you hjackers  Wink
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Banco
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RE: Is Banco Chris Waddle?

Mon Mar 14, 2005 11:39 pm

Quoting NoUFO (Reply 4):
Flossie? You now her (him?) by change?

Just a lucky guess. Let's be honest, it's bound to be "Flossie", isn't it?
She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.
 
NoUFO
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RE: Is Banco Chris Waddle?

Tue Mar 15, 2005 12:09 am

Right, sheep don't shave. Big grin
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Andreas
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RE: Is Banco Chris Waddle?

Tue Mar 15, 2005 12:21 am

They don't? Funny I thought they did...it's the sheep shaggers that don't shave, right Kirkie? And why should they? One can keep the other warm during those long hard Scottish nights.

Quoting Banco (Reply 1):
have never had a mullet

So you say, pal, so you say! Proof...?  liar 
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Banco
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RE: Is Banco Chris Waddle?

Tue Mar 15, 2005 12:39 am

Quoting Andreas (Reply 8):
So you say, pal, so you say! Proof...?

The fact that I'm not German is pretty strong evidence, wouldn't you say?
She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.
 
Andreas
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RE: Is Banco Chris Waddle?

Tue Mar 15, 2005 12:51 am

Afraid not! Not even close to being good enough!

Quoting Banco (Reply 9):
The fact that I'm not German

So you say....Reading your posts I imagine a big beer-bellied mullet-wearing guy sitting somewhere in the middle of nowhere in New-5-Land, with Bayern Munich poster on the wall and the complete Hasselhoff collection. In fact, come to think of it...you could be Kirkie's sheep shagging pal, too!! Ok, that goes for many Engelaenders, too Big grin
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NoUFO
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RE: Is Banco Chris Waddle?

Tue Mar 15, 2005 12:55 am

Quoting Banco (Reply 9):
The fact that I'm not German is pretty strong evidence, wouldn't you say?

No, since Chris Waddle does wear a mullet.
I support the right to arm bears
 
gkirk
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RE: Is Banco Chris Waddle?

Tue Mar 15, 2005 1:02 am

Quoting Andreas (Reply 10):
Reading your posts I imagine a big beer-bellied mullet-wearing guy sitting somewhere in the middle of nowhere in New-5-Land, with Bayern Munich poster on the wall and the complete Hasselhoff collection.

Sounds suspiciously like our Computer Geek friend, Klaus  Wink
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Banco
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RE: Is Banco Chris Waddle?

Tue Mar 15, 2005 1:03 am

Quoting NoUFO (Reply 11):
No, since Chris Waddle does wear a mullet.

I must admit, that's a pretty fair point. Big grin

Quoting Andreas (Reply 10):
So you say....Reading your posts I imagine a big beer-bellied mullet-wearing guy sitting somewhere in the middle of nowhere in New-5-Land, with Bayern Munich poster on the wall and the complete Hasselhoff collection. In fact, come to think of it...you could be Kirkie's sheep shagging pal, too!! Ok, that goes for many Engelaenders, too

My God, what an appalling thing to behold. Andreas sees me as his sexual fantasy!  Wow! Please, God, no, I feel sick. the only saving grace is that, thankfully, I am nothing like his dream at all. That is a definite relief, though I believe that Klaus is now feeling somewhat nervous. Big grin
She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.
 
Klaus
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RE: Is Banco Chris Waddle?

Tue Mar 15, 2005 6:50 am

Nauseous, actually...  vomit 
 
BA380
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RE: Is Banco Chris Waddle?

Tue Mar 15, 2005 7:08 pm

Chris Waddle/Chuckle Brothers:

WHAT!?!?!?!? I thought Chrissy Waddle WAS a Chuckle Brother, the other being Terry Butcher.... are they not one and the same thing?
cabin crew: doors to automatic and cross-check...
 
Andreas
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RE: Is Banco Chris Waddle?

Tue Mar 15, 2005 7:25 pm

Klaus and Banco:

What is it with you guys...whatever someone says, you two start thinking in sexual terms IMMEDIATELY!!!! You know, you should really try to get a life sometime...maybe talk to real people, possibly*GASP* to ...girls...or sheep, if that's your cup of tea, Kirkie would be delighted to help, I guess!

You'll find that very entertaining...though on the other hand...nah, probably not!  Wink Big grin
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Banco
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RE: Is Banco Chris Waddle?

Tue Mar 15, 2005 7:35 pm

Possibly because it has become so apparent over the last few years what a genuinely twisted individual you are, Andreas. One only has to see how excited you get whenever sheep, mullets, David Hasselhoff or lederhosen is mentioned to know that you have these fantasies.

Seek help, old boy.  Wink
She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.
 
Andreas
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RE: Is Banco Chris Waddle?

Tue Mar 15, 2005 7:56 pm

I knew something is fundamentally wrong with you the very first moment you started to talk about English football..and your wet fantasies about actually winning some tournament. rotfl 

Now this signature of yours, bringing in old ladies...that's sick, you know...really sick!! That's why you like Rooney ...you share his passion for older girls! Mother complex or whatever it is called. Banco...you need to take care of that..or do you really want to end up like Kirkie  drool  over sheep????...or like Klaus, for that matter?
I know it's only VfB but I like it!
 
Banco
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RE: Is Banco Chris Waddle?

Tue Mar 15, 2005 8:02 pm

I notice you haven't denied what I said about you, Andreas. Big grin

Quoting Andreas (Reply 18):
and your wet fantasies about actually winning some tournament.

Well, that bit's true actually. When the national team consistently fail, then you dream of winning, don't you? I seem cursed in that regard, what with England and Manchester City. Both have been gloriously inept across the years.

Quoting Andreas (Reply 18):
or like Klaus, for that matter

Below the belt. Apologise now, sir!  Wink
She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.
 
Andreas
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RE: Is Banco Chris Waddle?

Tue Mar 15, 2005 8:21 pm

Why denying what is clearly nonsense...YOU do that all the time, and Kirkie when it comes to sheep..and did it help you? No, not at all, quite the contrary!!  Wink Big grin

Quoting Banco (Reply 19):
Below the belt. Apologise now, sir!

No way, this is a very serious warning, I'm not sure if there is still rescue for you, but you have to try, try real hard, to avoid such a fate, just don't give up!!!! (Of course you're bound to lose, since you're English, but you, giving in is not what I'd expect from you!)  Wink Big grin
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Banco
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RE: Is Banco Chris Waddle?

Tue Mar 15, 2005 8:34 pm

Quoting Andreas (Reply 20):
No way, this is a very serious warning, I'm not sure if there is still rescue for you, but you have to try, try real hard, to avoid such a fate, just don't give up!!!! (Of course you're bound to lose, since you're English, but you, giving in is not what I'd expect from you!)

You are saying that I would be like (spit) a German. Like you. That's a truly horrific thought. As we know, Britons and Germans are very different, and the prospect of becoming similar to yourself fills me with horror.

Wars have started over lesser insults, and as we all know, you lot have a habit of getting stuffed.
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JGPH1A
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RE: Is Banco Chris Waddle?

Tue Mar 15, 2005 8:49 pm

Quoting Banco (Reply 21):
Wars have started over lesser insults, and as we all know, you lot have a habit of getting stuffed.

This is true. WW1 was in fact triggered by Edward VII calling Kaiser Wilhelm II a "fat spotty mare who thinks she's rough trade because of that appalling moustache !" Kaiser Wilhelm responded by slapping Edward viciously with his sequined evening clutch purse, called him "an old beardie perv" and stormed out of the room. It was nothing to do with Archduke Franz Ferdinand (whose assassination was ordered by Wilhelm after he (the Archduke) compared Wilhelms latest Molyneux evening gown to "laundry day on the Cutty Sark".
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Andreas
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RE: Is Banco Chris Waddle?

Tue Mar 15, 2005 8:50 pm

Quoting Banco (Reply 21):
You are saying that I would be like (spit) a German

NO, you silly  censored  moron!!! Like Klaus, which is different, you know, v-e-r-y different...and didn't he say once he's Austrian??  Wow! Which would be like being a Scot, except that nobody really knows what THEY are shagging...not that anybody in his right mind WANTS to know...

Quoting Banco (Reply 21):
and the prospect of becoming similar to yourself fills me with horror

Yep, we call this "the fear of winning"  Wink Big grin
I know it's only VfB but I like it!
 
Banco
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RE: Is Banco Chris Waddle?

Tue Mar 15, 2005 9:46 pm

Quoting Andreas (Reply 23):
Like Klaus, which is different, you know, v-e-r-y different

Indeed not. Klaus is the archetypal German, as you well know. Denying it merely re-inforces everyone's opinion.

Quoting Andreas (Reply 23):
Yep, we call this "the fear of winning"

Indeed. So much so, in fact,that you have to come over to the UK in order to make a living. We have a long history of taking in the poor unfortunates of Europe, and you are just another one.

Quoting JGPH1A (Reply 22):
This is true. WW1 was in fact triggered by Edward VII calling Kaiser Wilhelm II....

I believe the final straw came when Mrs Kaiser was asked outside by David Lloyd George, who suggested that she might like a little twirl on his moustache. The unfortunate lady, totally misunderstanding him due to the rather peculiar goings on in the Wilhelm household, suspected having to endure another typically Germanic lederhosen session and slapped him around the face. Lloyd George was horrified, given that no female had ever refused him before, and resolved to save her, saying that she would be much better off in Holland where they "don't do that sort of thing".
She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.
 
JGPH1A
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RE: Is Banco Chris Waddle?

Tue Mar 15, 2005 9:52 pm

Quoting Banco (Reply 24):
suspected having to endure another typically Germanic lederhosen session and slapped him around the face.

Well can you blame the poor woman ? Those things chafe something awful ! And you don't even want to KNOW what they do with the bratwurst...
Young and beautiful and thin and gorgeous AND BANNED ! Cya at airspaceonline.com, losers
 
Banco
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RE: Is Banco Chris Waddle?

Tue Mar 15, 2005 9:54 pm

Quoting JGPH1A (Reply 25):
Those things chafe something awful ! And you don't even want to KNOW what they do with the bratwurst...

Ah! The voice of experience... 

Were you held prisoner by a German family at some point? I find it hard to believe that you would submit willinglyBig grin

[Edited 2005-03-15 13:55:44]
She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.
 
JGPH1A
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RE: Is Banco Chris Waddle?

Tue Mar 15, 2005 9:56 pm

Quoting Banco (Reply 26):
Ah! The voice of experience...

No no, I only heard about it. A....friend, you know. More of an acquaintance really. Not me, goodness no !
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Banco
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RE: Is Banco Chris Waddle?

Tue Mar 15, 2005 10:00 pm

Quoting JGPH1A (Reply 27):
No no, I only heard about it. A....friend, you know. More of an acquaintance really. Not me, goodness no !

This...acquaintance. He wouldn't have a name beginning with "A", ending with "s" and having "ndrea" in the middle would he?

I've often suspected, you see...
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Scotty
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RE: Is Banco Chris Waddle?

Tue Mar 15, 2005 10:08 pm

Quoting Banco (Reply 3):
Has Flossie dumped you again? Never mind, old boy, there are plenty more farms in the countryside.

Hey - you leave my burd oot of this.

Baaaaaaaa
 
Banco
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RE: Is Banco Chris Waddle?

Tue Mar 15, 2005 10:11 pm

Quoting Scotty (Reply 29):
Hey - you leave my burd oot of this.

Baaaaaaaa

My God, they're all at it!!!  Wow!
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gkirk
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RE: Is Banco Chris Waddle?

Tue Mar 15, 2005 10:18 pm

Now now, why the talk of war?
Andreas and Klaus, as Germans you should be used to getting your arses kicked.
JGPH1A, as a French frog, you should be used to surrendering
Banco, your just an old English git  Wink
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Andreas
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RE: Is Banco Chris Waddle?

Tue Mar 15, 2005 10:19 pm

Quoting Banco (Reply 28):
He wouldn't have a name beginning with "A", ending with "s" and having "ndrea" in the middle would he?

See it's starting again, this unhealthy obsession..now it's the Bratwurst to bring forth a clear stroke of penis envy..and this strange fact that he seems to know Flossie quite well...very disturbing that is.

Give him another 15 minutes and he'll start babbling about "English football", then drooling, then...who knows.

It's usually the time when they have to take him back to his cell ranting and raving. I've never understood why they give him online access at all, it's well known that this experience could be very unsettling for lost cases like Banco.
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Scotty
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RE: Is Banco Chris Waddle?

Tue Mar 15, 2005 10:25 pm

Quoting Banco (Reply 30):
My God, they're all at it!!!

But of course. Proud to be a sheepsha**er
 
JGPH1A
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RE: Is Banco Chris Waddle?

Tue Mar 15, 2005 11:08 pm

Quoting Banco (Reply 28):
This...acquaintance. He wouldn't have a name beginning with "A", ending with "s" and having "ndrea" in the middle would he?

Well of course, one should never mention names (a gentleman NEVER tells), ahem but, well nudge nudge wink wink say no more.

Quoting Gkirk (Reply 31):
JGPH1A, as a French frog, you should be used to surrendering

Sigh. We are conducting a civilised intellectual conversation amongst gentlemen (apart from the Germans of course, who being foreign cannot possibly be gentlemen, but we admit them temporarily into the class of Persons To Whom One Speaks). Said group naturally does not include any Scots participation, as Scots are woad-daubed skirt-wearing barbarians. Kindly desist from importuning us further with your Pictish gruntings. shhh 
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Thom@s
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RE: Is Banco Chris Waddle?

Tue Mar 15, 2005 11:22 pm

Is GKirk really Groundskeeper Willey?  Wow!

(Sad punchline, I know...)

Thom@s
"If guns don't kill people, people kill people - does that mean toasters don't toast toast, toast toast toast?"
 
JGPH1A
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RE: Is Banco Chris Waddle?

Tue Mar 15, 2005 11:27 pm

Quoting Banco (Reply 26):
Were you held prisoner by a German family at some point? I find it hard to believe that you would submit willingly

Well you know, Stockholm Syndrome - it can happen to the best of us. Still can't walk past a deli counter without going weak at the knees.  Smile
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Banco
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RE: Is Banco Chris Waddle?

Tue Mar 15, 2005 11:36 pm

Quoting JGPH1A (Reply 34):
Well of course, one should never mention names (a gentleman NEVER tells), ahem but, well nudge nudge wink wink say no more.

This is of course true. But it does explain why I have heard Kirkie talking about Andreas as his "bitch". Big grin

Quoting JGPH1A (Reply 34):
Sigh. We are conducting a civilised intellectual conversation amongst gentlemen (apart from the Germans of course, who being foreign cannot possibly be gentlemen, but we admit them temporarily into the class of Persons To Whom One Speaks). Said group naturally does not include any Scots participation, as Scots are woad-daubed skirt-wearing barbarians. Kindly desist from importuning us further with your Pictish gruntings

Regrettably, we must take some responsibility for his utterances. In the distant past, our method of control was to regularly head up to the frozen barbarian wastelands of Scotland and give them a right good kicking. Sadly, this merely seemed to encourage them, as evidenced by their determination to get practice in on a Friday night in Glasgow city centre.

In these more enlightened times, we have adopted the approach that it may be possible to civilise them to at least a marginal degree - for example weaning them off sheep - and to that end we have encouraged them to try to develop that to them previously little known innovation that we call "language".

Inevitably, there are problems. The Scots were under the impression that grunting and saying "in yer heid, yer basta'" was equivalent to the more voluble forms of discourse that the rest of us are used to. Nevertheless, we did persevere and you can see that there are promising signs. Indeed, one Scot recently used a word of more than two syllables, and was greatly praised, although his eyes did kind of glaze over a little when someone tried to explain what a syllable was.

Therefore, I must ask you to try to be tolerant and understanding with the likes of Kirkie. It is as Dr Johnson once said about a dog walking on his hind legs: He may not do it well, but you are surprised to see it done at all.
She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.
 
JGPH1A
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RE: Is Banco Chris Waddle?

Thu Mar 17, 2005 7:12 pm

Since my last gem on this thread got canned for being "Flamebait", just a little hint to future guardians of public morality. When Banco and I start babbling in long pseudo-intellectual words, its meant as a JOKE !! Just so you know... Big grin

N.B. This is NOT a dig at moderators or anyone else - just a helpful hint for future reference.
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Banco
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RE: Is Banco Chris Waddle?

Thu Mar 17, 2005 7:16 pm

Quoting JGPH1A (Reply 38):
Since my last gem on this thread got canned for being "Flamebait",

No?  Wow! You've got to be kidding me!  Yeah sure

Take it as a compliment. Clearly what you were saying was plausible to the uninitiated! Big grin
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JGPH1A
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RE: Is Banco Chris Waddle?

Thu Mar 17, 2005 7:20 pm

Quoting Banco (Reply 39):
Take it as a compliment. Clearly what you were saying was plausible to the uninitiated!

Oh dear ! Maybe you're right. Sophisticated humour - must be an English thing Big grin
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NoUFO
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RE: Is Banco Chris Waddle?

Thu Mar 17, 2005 9:21 pm

Quoting JGPH1A (Reply 34):
We are conducting a civilised intellectual conversation amongst gentlemen (apart from the Germans of course, who being foreign cannot possibly be gentlemen,

Nonsense, we Germans are the true society of honourable gentlemen (and ladies, I may add): A sausage a day keeps the pig invasion away.
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JGPH1A
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RE: Is Banco Chris Waddle?

Thu Mar 17, 2005 10:07 pm

Quoting NoUFO (Reply 41):
a sausage a day keeps the pig invasion away.

Ngggnnhh ngggnngghhh !!

(That's the sound of me biting my tongue !) Big grin
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NoUFO
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RE: Is Banco Chris Waddle?

Fri Mar 18, 2005 12:46 am

You are biting your tongue? Doesn't that hurt? And why are you doing it anyway? You may say what you want (yeah, difficult with your tongue stuck between your teeth, I know), but I guess Thüringer tastes better then your tongue.
No, I absolutely do not care for a taste, thank you.  boggled 
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