First of all, if this topic starts to ramble, please forgive me, I'm writing as I think of things.
Last week, March 16 to be exact, my mother passed away. She had been sick for a very long time, I guess about 7 years since her first TIA
(a mini-stroke). Since then there were many of the "mini-strokes" and about 4 "big" ones. Over the years, she deteriorated more and more, each time her speech got worse, she gradually lost the ability to walk and became confined to a wheelchair. She had scoliosis and couldn't sit up totally straight in her chair. It got so that I couldn't have conversations on the phone with her, I could only ask "yes" or "no" questions. That she handled OK
for the most part. The very sad part of all of this was that while her body began to betray her, her mind always stayed extremely sharp. When I was able to be with her, we actually could do pretty good together. The only problem here was because I live in New York and she didn't, we only got to see each other when the schools were on break or in the summer. During our Feb. break, I had pneumonia so I could not go to Florida. The last time I got to see her before she went in the hospital was last August. In the hospital, while she was unconscious, she could hear me. When I was finally able to get to Florida and told her that I was there, she was able to squeeze my hand. I told her that my husband and son would be there the next day(they were in Colorado on a ski trip), she squeezed my hand again. They got there, she knew it! When we got to my brothers' house about 11:00 PM
, and had just gotten ready for bed when the hospital called and said that we should come back right away. We did and about 1:00 AM
she passed away. My feeling was that she was just waiting for all of her kids to get there(my brother, sister-in-law, me, my husband, niece and her husband and son, and my son) before she gave up.
I realize of course that because everything is so fresh, that is the reason that I am having such a hard time. Tomorrow I have to go back to work(an elementary school), I MUST go, but I am not sure just how I am going to handle it. The minute I think about it, I start crying all over again. Anyway, what I need from all of you is your prayers to help me. Please, I really need your help. Thanks, Skyhawk