JGPH1A
Topic Author
Posts: 15080
Joined: Thu Aug 14, 2003 4:36 pm

Who Here Has Kids? How Do You Cope?

Sat Apr 09, 2005 5:55 am

As some of you may be aware, I've been in BOS this week to babysit my brothers kids for a few days while he and my sister-in-law were away. His kids are wonderful, really very good (they are Meggie (5), and Ben and Lucy (twins, 2)), but my GOD it's hard work ! I'm absolutely knackered, and I've ony had to look after them for 3 days ! And the responsibility of it all !! Mind numbing !

So my question to parents out there is, how do you manage it, and work, and have a life ? I am truly astounded by how much effort is involved. I didn't find it difficult particularly, they get on well with me so getting things done was not a problem, but just getting them up, dressed and fed in the mornings is a marathon effort !

This experience has really increased my respect for the parents of small kids, especially single parents !
Young and beautiful and thin and gorgeous AND BANNED ! Cya at airspaceonline.com, losers
 
User avatar
scbriml
Posts: 13475
Joined: Wed Jul 02, 2003 10:37 pm

RE: Who Here Has Kids? How Do You Cope?

Sat Apr 09, 2005 6:01 am

Having raised two moderately sane daughters, I don't know how single parents cope. I'd have been suicidal. The one thing that absolutely amazes me is just how little sleep you can actually survive on. Ours are 3 years apart, but with badly-spaced kids, you could end up with years of too little sleep.

I do remember the sheer bliss of the first night when they both slept till about 7.30 in the morning  smile  The biggest pain is once they do sleep well, if they're ill and you end up having to get up to them multiple times during the night, it absolutely kills you!  yawn 
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana!
 
Logan22L
Posts: 4464
Joined: Fri Jul 16, 2004 5:59 am

RE: Who Here Has Kids? How Do You Cope?

Sat Apr 09, 2005 6:06 am

Quoting JGPH1A (Thread starter):
As some of you may be aware, I've been in BOS this week

Yeah, I'm aware. Angry

Logan
"The deeper you go, the higher you fly. The higher you fly, the deeper you go."
 
keesje
Posts: 8864
Joined: Thu Apr 12, 2001 2:08 am

RE: Who Here Has Kids? How Do You Cope?

Sat Apr 09, 2005 6:21 am

aBout single parents, fully agreed.. I have started to look different at the governement forcing single mothers to find a job or cut their social security...

I think with kids it´s a matter of priorities, "love and attention" and the rest is extra seems to work..
"Never mistake motion for action." Ernest Hemingway
 
MYT332
Posts: 7283
Joined: Mon Sep 08, 2003 7:31 pm

RE: Who Here Has Kids? How Do You Cope?

Sat Apr 09, 2005 7:17 am

I don't have kids as such but my parents have been fostering for the past 11 years and we are now adopting two lil children. In that time we've had over 20 children stay with us for varying amounts of time, most of them under the age of 5.

Seriously, my head is done in and I feel every day I am getting more and more insane.....but get me, im great with kids now. They can't throw anything at me I haven't seen before. Big grin
One Life, Live it.
 
iakobos
Posts: 3255
Joined: Wed Aug 06, 2003 6:22 pm

RE: Who Here Has Kids? How Do You Cope?

Sat Apr 09, 2005 7:21 am

Easy ! make sure Granma is Greek and you have a spare bedroom (even very small).
That leaves you a few years to build up an ironclad scenario to get rid of granma when the kids are grown up. (half joke of course)
 
DfwRevolution
Posts: 8590
Joined: Sat Jan 09, 2010 7:31 pm

RE: Who Here Has Kids? How Do You Cope?

Sat Apr 09, 2005 7:23 am

"Raising kids isn't hard. I'm tired of hearing that it is. You know what's hard: talking your girlfriend into her third consecutive abortion. That's hard."

- Comedian David Cross  Wink
 
B747-437B
Posts: 8777
Joined: Thu May 30, 2002 6:54 am

RE: Who Here Has Kids? How Do You Cope?

Sat Apr 09, 2005 7:28 am

Quoting Myt332 (Reply 4):
im great with kids now

Thats right Alex, they won't wake up will they? Big grin
"The A340-300 may boast a long range, but the A340 is underpowered" -- Robert Milton, CEO - Air Canada
 
FDXmech
Posts: 3219
Joined: Sun Mar 19, 2000 9:48 pm

RE: Who Here Has Kids? How Do You Cope?

Sat Apr 09, 2005 7:40 am

>>>So my question to parents out there is, how do you manage it, and work, and have a life ? I am truly astounded by how much effort is involved.<<<

You're right. I have two kids. A daughter 10 and son 5. It's a job best grown into. What I mean is it's a gradual transition that you grow into and adapt to from childbirth on up.
What happened to you was like jumping into a cold pool. You get used to it, but it takes time.
You're only as good as your last departure.
 
skysurfer
Posts: 1034
Joined: Wed Sep 15, 2004 5:37 am

RE: Who Here Has Kids? How Do You Cope?

Sat Apr 09, 2005 9:10 am

Ok ok i'll admit i don't have any kids....i'm 24 but i love kids! I dont mean that in a 'bad' way, i mean i love 'em in the sense that i have soooo much fun with them and they seem to like being with me. My X has 2 kids (4 and 7) and we had/have soooo much fun it's unbelievable. I don't think i'd make a good dad (my own dad used to beat me and i don't like to think i might end up like him) but everyone says i would be great. But looking after kids from time to time makes me sooo excited and happy...we have such a good time it's unbelieveable. Unfortunately, i refuse to look after or be alone with any young females these days because with all the 'child abuse sh!t' going around i don't want anyone to to think anythin is 'going on', even though i know it's not. It's just a fact of life these days......but i do love kids but i don't think i could cope full time...so kudos to anyone and everyone that does cope, you have my respect!

Cheers
In the dark you can't see ugly, but you can feel fat
 
AJBUS300
Posts: 271
Joined: Mon Mar 28, 2005 12:48 pm

RE: Who Here Has Kids? How Do You Cope?

Sat Apr 09, 2005 9:28 am

Quoting Myt332 (Reply 4):
I don't have kids as such but my parents have been fostering for the past 11 years and we are now adopting two lil children. In that time we've had over 20 children stay with us for varying amounts of time, most of them under the age of 5.

Can I say how honorable and absolutely wonderful that is of you and your parents for taking care of foster children. That is a wonderful thing and my respects go out to you and your family.

As for the thread at hand, I don't have kids and I used to be one who always said "no kids for me ever" but lately, after hanging out with some relatives and friend's children, I am growing a liking to the little rascals and I think I would love to have my own some day. If they only let me foster, I would love to do that now. As for single parents, that is commendable and it is very difficult to do so anyone who is doing it, hats off to you!
Live each day as if it was your last day on God's beautiful green earth
 
bill142
Posts: 7853
Joined: Wed Aug 04, 2004 1:50 pm

RE: Who Here Has Kids? How Do You Cope?

Sat Apr 09, 2005 9:39 am

I look after a friend of mines son sometimes. Its great, I get to teach him heaps of bad stuff so buy the time hes learnt it all and trying it out on me I get to give him back to his parents.
One thing he won't do is say David Hasselhoff!!!
 
Sabena332
Posts: 14938
Joined: Wed May 09, 2001 3:57 am

RE: Who Here Has Kids? How Do You Cope?

Sat Apr 09, 2005 9:42 am

Quoting JGPH1A (Thread starter):
but my GOD it's hard work ! I'm absolutely knackered, and I've ony had to look after them for 3 days ! And the responsibility of it all !!

Thanks a lot for that, now I am really looking forward to become father  Wink

Patrick
NZ1's mother is a disgusting crack-whore and his father is a worthless alcoholic!
 
sprout5199
Posts: 1681
Joined: Sat Feb 26, 2005 8:26 am

RE: Who Here Has Kids? How Do You Cope?

Sat Apr 09, 2005 12:20 pm

I have two daughters, and some times its hard, and feels like I'm going insane but thats why its good to have family members close by. Plus one "pure love look" from them wipes out a lot of rotten days(those of you who have kids know that look)

Dan in Jupiter
 
lowrider
Posts: 2542
Joined: Wed Jun 30, 2004 3:09 am

RE: Who Here Has Kids? How Do You Cope?

Sat Apr 09, 2005 12:44 pm

2 of the little critters, 18 mos and 2 1/2 years. I love them, but it can be tough. Forget ration and reason when your 2 year old decides to have a meltdown, those won't help. Wouldn't give them up for anything. You asked about having a life. They tend to be your life. They have to come first. I am fortunate to get one afternoon a month to pursue my own interests. You start to look forward to to going to work to get a few days relative rest. My wife and I bid opposite schedules so we don't have to do day care. Any extra time we get together is a blessing.

In a nutshell, it amazing, exhausting, makes your head spin at times. I am glad I have the privilege.
Proud OOTSK member
 
skidmarks
Posts: 6614
Joined: Fri Dec 10, 2004 7:51 pm

RE: Who Here Has Kids? How Do You Cope?

Sat Apr 09, 2005 3:42 pm

At last someone who realises that children are hard work!! Even if he is French!!

My two boys are STILL hard work and they are now 17 and 15 - similar ages to many of the posters on here. They are lazy, dirty and soak up money like a soaking up thing.

The eldest doesn't seem to want to do anything with his life other than screw his g/f and laze around. The youngest has more ambition, wants to fly and be a Paleontologist (and he should get the exam results for it - if he doesnt discover girls first!).

But, even now our life isnt our own. They need lifts, they don't know where the dishwasher is, they have no idea of the function of a wardrobe or chest of drawers and are quite happy to sleep on a bed with no sheets, pillowcases or blankets. Their idea of shower is to liberally spray underarm defesterer around and I am damn sure they don't like toothpaste!

Sheesh, sometimes I dont know why we bothered - except I claim I was drunk when we decided to procreate and I must have been taken advantage of!!

Have a nice weekend

Andy  old 
Growing old is compulsory, growing up is optional
 
IYK
Posts: 4
Joined: Tue Jun 08, 2004 1:48 am

RE: Who Here Has Kids? How Do You Cope?

Sat Apr 09, 2005 4:19 pm

FDXMECH has the best description. Dealing with your own children over time is much easier. We have 6, from 14 to infant. Sometimes logistics is a chore, for example 5 of our kids go to different schools at different times. Networking with other parents is a necessity. The mornings are definitely a circus. With time and practice, things work out OK though. I don't think either of us could do it as a single parent. When we go to events with a lot of people, such as air shows, the kids wear dog-tags (lost a child once briefly at the Chino air show. Didn't think my wife would be happy with me coming home one child down). Probably the most important thing is to find time to be with each other. The kids activities can literally take over.

Skidmarks, the teenage years are starting for me. Can't wait!  liar 
 
IHadAPheo
Posts: 5499
Joined: Mon Sep 17, 2001 3:26 pm

RE: Who Here Has Kids? How Do You Cope?

Sun Apr 10, 2005 2:47 am

Where to start??, I agree that having a child is quite challenging at times since you do have to include their care in all of your daily activities. But that is a minor thing compared to the utter joy and wonder they bring top your life as the learn and progress. As I sit here typing this my daughter is sitting drawing numbers and letters and trying to put words together. She will stop for a bit and have me dance with her to the music on Sirrius only stop while she gives me a hug and goes back to her drawing.

Watching her grow from a newborn to see here now at 4 has been a joy, sure there have been tough times, her being born with Neurofibromatosis and having a seizure disorder do complicate things. But as I said just watching here grow and explore are a wonder to watch. Everyday I think how lucky I am to have this time and look forward to the adventures to come.

Some special joys for me are when Lizzie will come up and for no reason just give me a hug and tell me "I love you poppa because you are good" and my personal favorite a hug with "you are not too old" as she pats my face. Of a course I have to add the bit about just watching her sleep at peace after a day of fun and learning is always a treat as well.

I have learned much from my daughter and I hope to continue to do so. I only hope that I can live up to my standards as father and help here to become a happy and well rounded adult/

IHAP
Pray hard but pray with care For the tears that you are crying now Are just your answered prayers
 
Ljungdahl
Posts: 887
Joined: Fri Apr 12, 2002 2:10 am

RE: Who Here Has Kids? How Do You Cope?

Sun Apr 10, 2005 3:03 am

Don't forget - being a parent is what nature actually has "designed" every one of us to be!

To become a parent for the first time is really quite a change in one's life, I say not for worse, just different.

And as with everything else in life, you get used to it - even taking care of a number of children all by yourself...

/Johan  old 
(...daddy of 1 girl and 4 boys, aged between 10 and 17...)
 
TheGov
Posts: 370
Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2003 6:44 am

RE: Who Here Has Kids? How Do You Cope?

Sun Apr 10, 2005 12:41 pm

As a single parent, let me in on a secret - it's called scheduling. Raising two children as a single parent, you need to run your house like the Germans run the trains. And if the schedule falls to pieces, you need to have a plan B and a plan C, etc. And while my situation may be different from other single parents, I tend to go like crazy when the kids are here and take the time that they are away to recover. Like the others, I wouldn't trade it for anything. There are times, however, where they are at their wits end with me and I'm at my wits end with them. But, that too passes.

The one thing I cannot stand: people without kids who are sure that they have all the right answers to raising kids. That just ticks me off.

Remember, kids are people too. Only little. And they have their own personalities and need to be treated as individuals. Remembering that helps you to keep your sanity at all times.
Always a pallbearer, never a corpse.
 
Falcon84
Posts: 13775
Joined: Fri Sep 10, 2004 11:52 am

RE: Who Here Has Kids? How Do You Cope?

Sun Apr 10, 2005 12:46 pm

A lot of love; a lot of patience; a good sense of humor; and a glass of wine every now and then, when needed.  Big grin
Work Right, Fly Hard
 
yegmaster
Posts: 932
Joined: Sun Dec 26, 2004 6:58 am

RE: Who Here Has Kids? How Do You Cope?

Sun Apr 10, 2005 1:28 pm

I have 3, they are 6,3 & 1 and they are a lot of work and probably for my wife more so than for me.

Quoting Scbriml (Reply 1):
The one thing that absolutely amazes me is just how little sleep you can actually survive on.

So true.
I don't know how my wife does it (especially with our youngest)
But there is nothing more rewarding then your child come up to you and give you a big hug because they appreciate what you do.

Cheers
 
AJBUS300
Posts: 271
Joined: Mon Mar 28, 2005 12:48 pm

RE: Who Here Has Kids? How Do You Cope?

Sun Apr 10, 2005 1:30 pm

Quoting Yegmaster (Reply 21):
But there is nothing more rewarding then your child come up to you and give you a big hug because they appreciate what you do.

awwwww, I want a son of my own! That has got to be the best feeling ever!
Live each day as if it was your last day on God's beautiful green earth
 
yhmfan
Posts: 572
Joined: Tue Feb 17, 2004 2:44 pm

RE: Who Here Has Kids? How Do You Cope?

Sun Apr 10, 2005 1:50 pm

I have two daughters 18 and 20.To those of you guys that have small kids I have this to say.......GOOD LUCK!!! You are going to need it!
When my kids were little and I had to worry about baby sitting and waking up at night and such, I used to say to myself "I cannot wait for them to grow up"
Well, they have grown up now and (Even though both of them are normal young people and reasonably good students etc.) believe me when I say I wish they were little again.

Definition of chaos and mayhem: 3 women, one guy and one bathroom in the morning!! (Guess who loses out?)

Having said that...... I love them all and would do it again!!  Smile
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you
 
QANTASforever
Posts: 5794
Joined: Tue Apr 03, 2001 6:03 am

RE: Who Here Has Kids? How Do You Cope?

Sun Apr 10, 2005 4:24 pm

I have experienced what it is to be a single parent in the last few months while I have been here in Sydney with the kids and my wife has been in Monaco.

We have identical twin three year old girls - Olivia and Novi who are absolutely beautiful blonde angels.........some of the time.
They do this thing at dinner - when they stare at each other for a really long time and they simultaneously throw food at each other. It's quite freaky.

They fight about who gets the first bath, who gets the bigger apple, who gets to talk to maman on the phone first, who gets to hide Daddas' shoes, who gets to wear pink, who gets to kill snails in the garden, who gets to drink seawater, who gets to turn off the tv at night, who gets to press the button for the bus to stop, who gets to press the buttons at the ATM.......


*zzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzz*

Wha? Oh yeah - sorry. Yeah, kids are easy!

Seriously though - you need to build up this rapport, this situation where you are the benevolent authority. You also need to surrender to a routine... PLAN EVERYTHING! Only then will one manage.

In the mean time I have to go off and make dinner for my two little blonde Republicans.

QFF
Fighting for the glory of the Australian Republic.
 
WunalaYann
Posts: 2128
Joined: Mon Mar 07, 2005 12:55 am

RE: Who Here Has Kids? How Do You Cope?

Sun Apr 10, 2005 4:50 pm

Hats off to you, parents, and thank you very much! Thanks for trying (and most of the time, succeeding) to make us (former, in my case) kids good persons!  Smile

Even if it does not show between age 8 and 20 (not speaking for myself, here), your children will certainly want to build you a statue in a few years!

What freaks me out most, like JGHP1A said, is the responsibility that comes with being a parent. Just to think of screwing up gives me the willies. To think of the baby in the bath, the hot stove, the seat buckle in the car, ... argh!!!!!!!!!
 scared 

When you talk to parents, they tell you that you just learn to go through it, do your best and accept that you will sometimes fail. Tough, but there is no better philosophy, IMHO.

Then again, parents, THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Smile

Cheers,

Y.
 
User avatar
scbriml
Posts: 13475
Joined: Wed Jul 02, 2003 10:37 pm

RE: Who Here Has Kids? How Do You Cope?

Sun Apr 24, 2005 4:02 am

Quoting Yhmfan (Reply 23):
Definition of chaos and mayhem: 3 women, one guy and one bathroom in the morning!!

Tell me about it! They ask me "Why do you get up at 6.00 every day Dad?" So I can have a shave and shower in peace. If those women get in the bathroom before me, I might as well write my day off.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana!
 
JGPH1A
Topic Author
Posts: 15080
Joined: Thu Aug 14, 2003 4:36 pm

RE: Who Here Has Kids? How Do You Cope?

Sun Apr 24, 2005 7:05 am

Quoting Scbriml (Reply 26):
They ask me "Why do you get up at 6.00 every day Dad?"

Hehe. If my nieces and nephew were to ask my brother the same question, the answer would be "Because you little %£$!@&s are up at 5:30 !" Big grin
Young and beautiful and thin and gorgeous AND BANNED ! Cya at airspaceonline.com, losers
 
tanyaluvs2fly
Posts: 342
Joined: Sat Sep 06, 2003 12:07 pm

RE: Who Here Has Kids? How Do You Cope?

Sun Apr 24, 2005 7:27 am

I have a 2.5 yr old (be 3 may 17th) I sometimes wonder how my parents were able to handle work and a kid and family stuff... When she was first born I had 4 horses, working full time, giving riding lessons and running around with my head cut off.. thankfully its slowed down but man they keep you busy, i couldnt picture what it would be like with out her...
Live, Laugh, Love!

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 10 guests