Dear UK Immigration
May the Lord Jesus find you well on this wonderful day. My name is Odawayu Abasanju and I am the son of Babasanja Okubwemi, formerly the 4th Prince of the Olusega tribe of Eastern Nigeria. My father acquired a working visa forn the UK last year, unfortunately due to the Asian Tsunami disaster he was tragically killed whilst swimming in the sea by an Indonesian on a palm tree. I wish to continue in my father's footsteps and so I humbly ask you to assist me in my endeavours, for which you will be graciously rewarded.
I am proposing that you provide me, by means of my intermediary Allegal Ommigrant based at the National Bank of Nigeria, with one British Work visa. In reward, I will provide you with 50% of the salary I recieve in the UK.
I propose to become a minicab driver, for which the salary is fifty million UK pounds per year. This means that I will transfer to your bank a sum of not less than twenty five million UK pounds.
Get the picture....
I used to think the brain is the most fascinating part of my body. But, hey, who is telling me that?