UK_Dispatcher
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Why Do Aliens Only Abduct Total Arseholes?

Fri Apr 22, 2005 12:35 am

Enough said.....

What do u reckon!?
 
skidmarks
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RE: Why Do Aliens Only Abduct Total Arseholes?

Fri Apr 22, 2005 12:39 am

Whats worse is, why do they send them back?

Andy  old 
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TedTAce
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RE: Why Do Aliens Only Abduct Total Arseholes?

Fri Apr 22, 2005 12:41 am

Quoting Skidmarks (Reply 1):
Whats worse is, why do they send them back?

HERE HERE!!!
This space intentionally left blank
 
Thom@s
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RE: Why Do Aliens Only Abduct Total Arseholes?

Fri Apr 22, 2005 1:03 am

Cause they intend to probe them, and arseholes are best qualified for that sorta business?  Confused

"I wonder why mankind search for intelligent life in outer space. We have yet to find it on earth."

Thom@s
"If guns don't kill people, people kill people - does that mean toasters don't toast toast, toast toast toast?"
 
CPH-R
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RE: Why Do Aliens Only Abduct Total Arseholes?

Fri Apr 22, 2005 1:06 am

Because they know that noone will believe them once they return to earth?  liar 
 
UK_Dispatcher
Topic Author
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RE: Why Do Aliens Only Abduct Total Arseholes?

Fri Apr 22, 2005 1:07 am

Glad to see that no-one has disagreed with me so far!  Wink
 
ANCFlyer
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RE: Why Do Aliens Only Abduct Total Arseholes?

Fri Apr 22, 2005 1:19 am

They want the entertainment . . .

Smart folk, like myself, would invite them in for a scotch and a cigar to discuss intergalactic politics and what their females look like  bigthumbsup 
FOR THOSE THAT FOUGHT FOR IT, FREEDOM HAS A FLAVOR THE PROTECTED WILL NEVER KNOW OR UNDERSTAND
 
planespotterx
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RE: Why Do Aliens Only Abduct Total Arseholes?

Fri Apr 22, 2005 1:19 am

They only abduct the "arseholes" the same way those arseholes always gets the girl..because thats life lol.
Its not the fall that kills u, its the sudden stop at the end..
 
Sydscott
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RE: Why Do Aliens Only Abduct Total Arseholes?

Fri Apr 22, 2005 7:40 am

Only arseholes report being abducted because they are speaking out of their arses when thye are making the crap up!!!!!!  Smile
 
MYT332
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RE: Why Do Aliens Only Abduct Total Arseholes?

Fri Apr 22, 2005 7:43 am

Hence why they abducted you Planespotterx. Oh and Gkirk.

Edit: No, cos that would mean that you both get the girls which you obviously don't. You're just the exception.

[Edited 2005-04-22 00:49:36]
One Life, Live it.
 
planespotterx
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RE: Why Do Aliens Only Abduct Total Arseholes?

Fri Apr 22, 2005 7:45 am

lol Myt332 even im too dumb for them lmao..theyd want someone with at least some intelligence.
Its not the fall that kills u, its the sudden stop at the end..
 
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aerorobnz
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RE: Why Do Aliens Only Abduct Total Arseholes?

Fri Apr 22, 2005 8:35 am

Aliens are intergellactic toilet paper. they go around the galaxy and wipe up all the shit.
Flown to 120 Airports in 44 Countries on 73 Operators. Visited 55 Countries and counting. Wanderlust is like Syphilis, once you have the itch it's too late for treatment.
 
Springbok747
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RE: Why Do Aliens Only Abduct Total Arseholes?

Fri Apr 22, 2005 9:33 am

LOL....now some crackhead has made a "thought screen helmet"!! HAHAHA...

http://www.stopabductions.com/

Wear the helmet as much as you can, especially during times that you feel you are usually abducted. Some persons report complete success just wearing the helmet at night, others report that the aliens became aware when they were not wearing the helmet and took them when they weren't wearing it.

Some abductees have worn their thought screen helmets and hats almost 24 hours a day, seven days a week for more than four years.

One abductee reported that when she wasn't wearing the helmet, the aliens gave her a telepathic command when they were about to take her to not put on the helmet. The only way to stop such alien telepathic commands is to wear the helmet as much as possible.

In late 2004 aliens cut a piece of Velostat out of a helmet. It was neatly placed on an abductee's bed when he was gone and he noticed a piece about 3 inches square was out out of it. The aliens were still unable to take him with a piece out out of the helmet. He has since repaired the helmet and installed new Velostat.

CAUTION: Keep the thought screen helmet in the safest possible place when you are not wearing it. In Kentucky, one thought screen helmet was taken from a box that was in a closet. The abductee had dental work and could not wear it. She thought she put the helmet in a safe place. Additionally, four other thought screen helmets were taken by aliens when they were not being worn, two in Virginia, one in upper New York state, and one in Brisbane, Australia.


WTF?!! HAHAAAAAAAA.....

Are these people really so stupid?!  crazy 
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Kieron747
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RE: Why Do Aliens Only Abduct Total Arseholes?

Fri Apr 22, 2005 9:43 am

Aliens don't always abduct assholes. They abducted me, and I think I've got a chance with the Queen alien, her name's Zorbra and she is fascinated with AirTran and me!

I use the Satellite tracker to keep tabs on where my love is. Ooohhh she puts me in orbit!

Signed,

FLAIRPORT

[Edited 2005-04-22 02:44:03]
Airliners.Net - The Jam Rag Of The Web.
 
Schoenorama
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RE: Why Do Aliens Only Abduct Total Arseholes?

Fri Apr 22, 2005 10:27 am

Quoting Kieron747 (Reply 13):
Aliens don't always abduct assholes. They abducted me, and I think I've got a chance with the Queen alien, her name's Zorbra and she is fascinated with AirTran and me!

That wouldn't be 'Succulent Zorbra' from the planet Fellatio, by any chance?

Wonderful woman! Had her explore my body thoroughly the other night onboard her spaceship after she explored Uranus.
Utinam logica falsa tuam philosophiam totam suffodiant!
 
TPASXM787
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RE: Why Do Aliens Only Abduct Total Arseholes?

Fri Apr 22, 2005 11:04 am

See South Park Episode 1: Cartman Gets an Anal Probe.

Zoltan!
This is the Last Stop.
 
monteycarlos
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RE: Why Do Aliens Only Abduct Total Arseholes?

Fri Apr 22, 2005 12:11 pm

They abduct total arseholes because it is easier to fit a substantially large probe into a total arsehole than one that is not total. The business of anal probing is quite complex.
It's a beautiful night to fly like a phoenix...
 
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HAWK21M
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RE: Why Do Aliens Only Abduct Total Arseholes?

Fri Apr 22, 2005 2:59 pm

Quoting Skidmarks (Reply 1):
Whats worse is, why do they send them back?

Best One liner for a long time.  bigthumbsup 
 Smile
regds
MEL
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JGPH1A
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RE: Why Do Aliens Only Abduct Total Arseholes?

Fri Apr 22, 2005 5:13 pm

If we ask nicely, do you think they'd take Kirkie ? Either for medical experiments (everyone could use a good laugh), or else just as a protein supplement. Either will do, we're not fussy  Smile
Young and beautiful and thin and gorgeous AND BANNED ! Cya at airspaceonline.com, losers
 
Banco
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RE: Why Do Aliens Only Abduct Total Arseholes?

Fri Apr 22, 2005 5:21 pm

Quoting JGPH1A (Reply 18):
If we ask nicely, do you think they'd take Kirkie ?

What, and risk infecting their entire species?
She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.
 
cornish
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RE: Why Do Aliens Only Abduct Total Arseholes?

Fri Apr 22, 2005 5:25 pm

Quoting JGPH1A (Reply 18):
If we ask nicely, do you think they'd take Kirkie ?

They won't bother - why do they need to learn about sheep, how not to play football/rugby/etc, or deep fried mars bars?  Wink
Just when I thought I could see light at the end of the tunnel, it was some B*****d with a torch bringing me more work
 
JGPH1A
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RE: Why Do Aliens Only Abduct Total Arseholes?

Fri Apr 22, 2005 5:25 pm

Quoting Banco (Reply 19):
What, and risk infecting their entire species?

Shhhh - don't TELL them !! It's part of our secret Earth-defense plan - infect them with Kirkieness, so they all become hopeless crack addicts who are unable to move off the sofa for a pot noodle, never mind invade other planets.

See, aliens - NICE Kirkie - come and get it !
Young and beautiful and thin and gorgeous AND BANNED ! Cya at airspaceonline.com, losers
 
Springbok747
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RE: Why Do Aliens Only Abduct Total Arseholes?

Fri Apr 22, 2005 5:55 pm

Quoting JGPH1A (Reply 18):
If we ask nicely, do you think they'd take Kirkie ?

Looks like they already did, found him to be too dumb, so they dropped him back somewhere in Scotland:

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dtwclipper
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RE: Why Do Aliens Only Abduct Total Arseholes?

Fri Apr 22, 2005 9:06 pm

All I know, is that if a flying saucer landed in my backyard the first thing I would do, is turn it over to see where it was made.*



*with apologies to joan rivers.
Compare New York Air, the Airline that works for your Business
 
fergulmcc
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RE: Why Do Aliens Only Abduct Total Arseholes?

Fri Apr 22, 2005 9:18 pm

Quoting Dtwclipper (Reply 23):
All I know, is that if a flying saucer landed in my backyard the first thing I would do, is turn it over to see where it was made

What about the reg and c/n. Don't think the reg would be in the drop down menu, would it? God know what airport you'd use?!

I was having a bad day here in work till I read this thread,  rotfl , cheered me up big time.

Fergul Big grin
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BNE
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RE: Why Do Aliens Only Abduct Total Arseholes?

Fri Apr 22, 2005 9:22 pm

Quoting Dtwclipper (Reply 23):
All I know, is that if a flying saucer landed in my backyard the first thing I would do, is turn it over to see where it was made

Wouldn't it most likely say, Made In China,  Wink thats where all the good dinner plates and sauces come from.
Why fly non stop when you can connect

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