Pe@rson
Topic Author
Posts: 16001
Joined: Sat Jan 13, 2001 6:29 pm

Favourite Fawlty Towers Quote?

Thu May 05, 2005 12:24 am

What's your favourite Fawlty Towers quote? Mine is 'nest of vipers,' as said by Fawlty to Sybil.
"Everyone writing for the Telegraph knows that the way to grab eyeballs is with Ryanair and/or sex."
 
Banco
Posts: 14343
Joined: Mon Oct 29, 2001 11:56 pm

RE: Favourite Fawlty Towers Quote?

Thu May 05, 2005 12:30 am

"Stop talking about the war!"

"You started it!"

"No, we did not!"

"Yes you did, you invaded Poland". Big grin
She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.
 
Pe@rson
Topic Author
Posts: 16001
Joined: Sat Jan 13, 2001 6:29 pm

RE: Favourite Fawlty Towers Quote?

Thu May 05, 2005 12:37 am

Aye, that's a classic.
"Everyone writing for the Telegraph knows that the way to grab eyeballs is with Ryanair and/or sex."
 
Schoenorama
Posts: 2305
Joined: Tue Apr 17, 2001 5:15 am

RE: Favourite Fawlty Towers Quote?

Thu May 05, 2005 12:40 am

"Don't mention the war".

Funny to see how this old quote can still be applied, ie during Tony Blair's campaign!



BTW, decades ago, when Fawlty Towers was also showed on Spanish Television, Manuel was all of a sudden from Italy and not from Barcelona!

[Edited 2005-05-04 17:41:49]
Utinam logica falsa tuam philosophiam totam suffodiant!
 
JGPH1A
Posts: 15080
Joined: Thu Aug 14, 2003 4:36 pm

RE: Favourite Fawlty Towers Quote?

Thu May 05, 2005 12:40 am

'My little piranha fish" - hehe !
Young and beautiful and thin and gorgeous AND BANNED ! Cya at airspaceonline.com, losers
 
Thom@s
Posts: 11674
Joined: Thu Oct 19, 2000 2:03 am

RE: Favourite Fawlty Towers Quote?

Thu May 05, 2005 12:43 am

Banco, that one is a classic. Big grin

I also like the rat episode. Don't remember the quotes 100%, but something like this:

Basil: "Manuel, the health inspector is coming this afternoon, and I need you to go up on the roof..."
(Manuel is about to leave the room)
"Not yet, haven't told you what you're doing yet. Now, there are two dead pigeons in the tank on the roof, I want you to take them out."
(Manuel looks confused, and starts laughing.)
"What is so funny Stop laughing."
Manuel: "Oink oink" (Flaps arms)
Basil: "Not pigs, Pigeons!! Like your English."

Many classic Basil and Manuel moments like when they are putting up the moose head:

Basil: "Manuel could you go get me a hammer?"
Manuel: "My hamster?"
Basil: "No not your hamster, I can't knock the nail in with your hamster. Well I could try. Oh never mind, I'll go get hammer and hit you on the head with it."

When Sybil finds out there is a rat in the hotel. Basil suggests they set it free in the woods.
Sybil: "You can't let him free all alone, he's defenceless."
Basil: "Well it's not like he's gonna get mugged by a gang of field mice, now is it?"
Sybil suggests they could sell the rat.
Basil: "Oh yes, and what should we put in the ad? Huge, furry infested rodent for sale... answers to the name of Sybil."

Got to love that show. Big grin

Thom@s
"If guns don't kill people, people kill people - does that mean toasters don't toast toast, toast toast toast?"
 
Schoenorama
Posts: 2305
Joined: Tue Apr 17, 2001 5:15 am

RE: Favourite Fawlty Towers Quote?

Thu May 05, 2005 12:44 am

"No, no, Mr Fawlty. Eez Filigree Siberian Hamster".
Utinam logica falsa tuam philosophiam totam suffodiant!
 
Pe@rson
Topic Author
Posts: 16001
Joined: Sat Jan 13, 2001 6:29 pm

RE: Favourite Fawlty Towers Quote?

Thu May 05, 2005 12:48 am

Quoting Thom@s (Reply 5):
Huge, furry infested rodent for sale... answers to the name of Sybil."

LMAO.

Quoting JGPH1A (Reply 4):
'My little piranha fish"

Who said that? Basil to Sybil?
"Everyone writing for the Telegraph knows that the way to grab eyeballs is with Ryanair and/or sex."
 
bananaboy
Posts: 1466
Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2004 6:58 am

RE: Favourite Fawlty Towers Quote?

Thu May 05, 2005 12:55 am

When he refers to Sybil's brain as a "dormant organ hidden in that rats maze" (her haircut!

To the deaf old woman: "..and if you give us any more trouble I shall visit you in the small hours and put a bat up your night-dress."

Basil: "What would you expect to see out of a Torquay hotel bedroom window? Sydney opera house, perhaps the Hanging Gardens of Babylon? Herds of wildebeest sweeping majestically....
Old woman: "I expect to be able to see the sea."
Basil: "You can see it. It's over there between the land and the sky."
Old woman: "I need a telescope to see that."
Basil: "Well may I suggest you consider moving to a hotel closer to the sea? Or preferably in it."


Mark
All my life, I've been kissing, your top lip 'cause your bottom one's missing
 
JGPH1A
Posts: 15080
Joined: Thu Aug 14, 2003 4:36 pm

RE: Favourite Fawlty Towers Quote?

Thu May 05, 2005 1:01 am

Quoting Pe@rson (Reply 7):
Quoting JGPH1A (Reply 4):
'My little piranha fish"

Who said that? Basil to Sybil?

I think it was the one where Sybil goes to hospital - I can't remember for sure.
Young and beautiful and thin and gorgeous AND BANNED ! Cya at airspaceonline.com, losers
 
Pe@rson
Topic Author
Posts: 16001
Joined: Sat Jan 13, 2001 6:29 pm

RE: Favourite Fawlty Towers Quote?

Thu May 05, 2005 1:01 am

I can visualise all those scenes. How sad.  Silly
"Everyone writing for the Telegraph knows that the way to grab eyeballs is with Ryanair and/or sex."
 
ctbarnes
Posts: 3269
Joined: Thu Mar 30, 2000 2:20 pm

RE: Favourite Fawlty Towers Quote?

Thu May 05, 2005 1:20 am

Quoting JGPH1A (Reply 9):
I think it was the one where Sybil goes to hospital - I can't remember for sure.

The best part is when Basil is in the same hospital and tries to get out of bed. The nurse comes in and tries to restrain him:

Basil: Don't touch me, I don't know where you've been!
(he pauses and looks at her)

Basil: My God you are ugly, aren't you.

Nurse (flustered): I'll get the doctor.

Basil (calling after her): You need a plastic surgeon, dear, not a doctor.

Charles, SJ
The customer isn't a moron, she is your wife -David Ogilvy
 
luv2fly
Posts: 11056
Joined: Tue May 13, 2003 2:57 am

RE: Favourite Fawlty Towers Quote?

Thu May 05, 2005 1:25 am

I just rented the complete series from netflix.com, hated to send them back.
You can cut the irony with a knife
 
UALPHLCS
Posts: 3233
Joined: Thu Jun 28, 2001 5:50 am

RE: Favourite Fawlty Towers Quote?

Thu May 05, 2005 1:26 am

Basil: Manuel there is too much butter on these trays!
Manuel: Que?
Basil: I said there is too much butter on these trays!
Manuel: Que?
Basil now very agitated (pointing) There is too much butter ON...THESE...TRAYS!
Manuel: Oh no Senor, Uno...Dos...Tres.
A little less Hooah, and a little more Dooah.
 
Thom@s
Posts: 11674
Joined: Thu Oct 19, 2000 2:03 am

RE: Favourite Fawlty Towers Quote?

Thu May 05, 2005 1:33 am

The hospital one is good.

Nurse tries to make things comfortable for Sybil, while Basil sits there.

Nurse: "Are you still here?"
Basil checks the chair he's sitting on.
Basil: "Apparently."
Nurse: "Well you'll have to leave, the doctor is coming."
Basil: (jumps up) A doctor? Here, in a hospital? My god, whatever shall we do?!"

Thom@s
"If guns don't kill people, people kill people - does that mean toasters don't toast toast, toast toast toast?"
 
Banco
Posts: 14343
Joined: Mon Oct 29, 2001 11:56 pm

RE: Favourite Fawlty Towers Quote?

Thu May 05, 2005 1:35 am

Quoting Luv2fly (Reply 12):
I just rented the complete series from netflix.com, hated to send them back

Buy them then!  Wink

Funny, it's 30 years old now, and there were only a dozen (I think) ever made, yet it remains one of the funniest comedies ever made, even when watched now. I suppose new generations must just pick up on it, probably when their parents tell them "You simply MUST watch this".
She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.
 
Biggles
Posts: 449
Joined: Mon Dec 27, 2004 5:19 am

RE: Favourite Fawlty Towers Quote?

Thu May 05, 2005 1:42 am

"This bath isn't big enough to drown a mouse!"

"I wish you were a mouse" .

"Pardon??".

"Oh nothing.."
 
Thom@s
Posts: 11674
Joined: Thu Oct 19, 2000 2:03 am

RE: Favourite Fawlty Towers Quote?

Thu May 05, 2005 1:42 am

I've had the complete series on VHS for like 10 years now... Though I haven't seen them in a while. Perhaps I ought to invest in the DVD collection sometime.  Smile

Thom@s
"If guns don't kill people, people kill people - does that mean toasters don't toast toast, toast toast toast?"
 
airxliban
Posts: 4285
Joined: Wed Oct 01, 2003 12:14 pm

RE: Favourite Fawlty Towers Quote?

Thu May 05, 2005 2:32 am

"Is this a piece of your brain?"

"Oh dear...what happened? Did you get entangled in the eiderdown again? Or did you have to talk on the phone so long that you didn't have time to prim your ears."

Basil: Major, what are you doing?
Major: Don't move...vermin
Basil: We haven't got any staying with us Major...
Major: Hmm?
Basi: No germans, staying in the hotel...now could I please have that gun?
Major: but I'm going to shoot him Fawlty
Basil: Major...not legal actually, against the law
Major: But they're animals Fawlty
Basil: I know, but forgive and forget
Major: Forgive and forget (outraged)?
Basil: Well try to anyway. Damn bastards
Major: But they spread disease fawlty. He was sitting over there, eating the nuts if you please.
Basil: (confused) What did you say it was?
Major: Vermin. A dirty rat.

That's not the exact transcription but just how I remember it.

Also..

"If the Good Lord is mentioned once more I shall move you closer to him now PLEASE!"

"He's from Barcelona"

Mr. Johnson: Yes I quite fancy French food, do you know anywhere where I could get some?
Basil: Yes, France I believe, they seem to like it down there...if you run you could probably still catch the tide it leaves at approxtimately 5 minuets to six.


Just a few...i'll probably come back here and look again and add some more and read some more, hehe.
PARIS, FRANCE...THE BEIRUT OF EUROPE.
 
UALPHLCS
Posts: 3233
Joined: Thu Jun 28, 2001 5:50 am

RE: Favourite Fawlty Towers Quote?

Thu May 05, 2005 8:48 am

Oh just remebered another:

Customer orders a Waldorf salad. Basil runs into the kitchen looks frantically around and runs out telling the customer:

"Sorry sir, we're fresh out of Waldorfs."
A little less Hooah, and a little more Dooah.
 
User avatar
jetjack74
Posts: 6577
Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2003 6:35 am

RE: Favourite Fawlty Towers Quote?

Thu May 05, 2005 9:26 am

Basil: Good old St George, aye Major?
Major: What?
Basil: Well he killed a hideous fire-breathing old dragon, didn't he?

I saw John Cleese 2 weeks ago in Santa Barbara, CA. He lives there and saw him in his Range Rover that he drives.
Made from jets!
 
Pe@rson
Topic Author
Posts: 16001
Joined: Sat Jan 13, 2001 6:29 pm

RE: Favourite Fawlty Towers Quote?

Thu May 05, 2005 11:53 pm

Overheard a girl sitting next to me. She's called Sybil. LMAO. Perhaps I should make eye-contact and say 'You nest of vipers' in an annoyed and evil way.  Big grin

[Edited 2005-05-05 17:00:53]
"Everyone writing for the Telegraph knows that the way to grab eyeballs is with Ryanair and/or sex."
 
gladave
Posts: 188
Joined: Fri Jan 21, 2005 12:32 am

RE: Favourite Fawlty Towers Quote?

Fri May 06, 2005 12:03 am

Quoting Banco (Reply 1):
"Stop talking about the war!"

"You started it!"

"No, we did not!"

"Yes you did, you invaded Poland".

that is my favorite scene as well

'the germans' i think is the name of the episode.
everytime gets me in fits of tears (remember im only 20)

Quoting Banco (Reply 15):
Funny, it's 30 years old now, and there were only a dozen (I think) ever made, yet it remains one of the funniest comedies ever made, even when watched now. I suppose new generations must just pick up on it, probably when their parents tell them "You simply MUST watch this".

Comedy is not as good as it used to be;

Fawlty Towers
Blackadder
Only fools and horses

are my favorites

political correctness is, i think, the killer of the comedy....very sad really

David
NO URLS in signature
 
Pe@rson
Topic Author
Posts: 16001
Joined: Sat Jan 13, 2001 6:29 pm

RE: Favourite Fawlty Towers Quote?

Fri May 06, 2005 12:06 am

The Office, for example, is very good, but I'm not a fan of Little Britain.
"Everyone writing for the Telegraph knows that the way to grab eyeballs is with Ryanair and/or sex."
 
Logan22L
Posts: 4464
Joined: Fri Jul 16, 2004 5:59 am

RE: Favourite Fawlty Towers Quote?

Fri May 06, 2005 2:09 am

Well, I'm not sure how I won't offend some with this, but my favorite scene and quote is when Basil is trying to do impressions for some German tourists.

Connie Booth wants him to do James Cagney, but instead he puts his index finger under his nose and droning on like Hitler, he does the goose step out of and back into the dining room. When the tourists are all visibly upset, and one woman is crying, he shouts: "I'm trying to cheer her up, you stupid kraut!"

Wet my pants funny, every time.

Logan
"The deeper you go, the higher you fly. The higher you fly, the deeper you go."
 
User avatar
scbriml
Posts: 13251
Joined: Wed Jul 02, 2003 10:37 pm

RE: Favourite Fawlty Towers Quote?

Fri May 06, 2005 4:53 am

Quoting Logan22L (Reply 24):
Well, I'm not sure how I won't offend some with this, but my favorite scene and quote is when Basil is trying to do impressions for some German tourists.

Connie Booth wants him to do James Cagney, but instead he puts his index finger under his nose and droning on like Hitler, he does the goose step out of and back into the dining room. When the tourists are all visibly upset, and one woman is crying, he shouts: "I'm trying to cheer her up, you stupid kraut!"

I was in the studio audience when that episode was filmed! JC was brilliant at entertaining us between takes. I nearly peed myself.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana!
 
Logan22L
Posts: 4464
Joined: Fri Jul 16, 2004 5:59 am

RE: Favourite Fawlty Towers Quote?

Fri May 06, 2005 5:43 am

Quoting Scbriml (Reply 25):
I was in the studio audience when that episode was filmed!

You lucky bastard!

Logan
"The deeper you go, the higher you fly. The higher you fly, the deeper you go."
 
EIPremier
Posts: 1462
Joined: Wed Sep 27, 2000 8:17 am

RE: Favourite Fawlty Towers Quote?

Fri May 06, 2005 7:27 am

"He put Basil in the Ratatouille??!!"'

"Care for a rat???" (to health inspector)

"Dead? But...He can't be dead, he's our best
customer."

"There's enough material here for an entire conference!" (psychiatrist)
 
pogo
Posts: 321
Joined: Fri Mar 04, 2005 1:58 am

RE: Favourite Fawlty Towers Quote?

Fri May 06, 2005 8:50 am

What about when the car has broken down - "Now you're going to get a damn good thrashing" followed by JC going out of shot then returning with a tree branch and starts beating the car with it. rotfl 
When in doubt give it a clout
 
Thom@s
Posts: 11674
Joined: Thu Oct 19, 2000 2:03 am

RE: Favourite Fawlty Towers Quote?

Fri May 06, 2005 5:10 pm

I can think of one american show that is worth watching. The rest is more or less crap... British humor certainly appeals more to me. Though there are loads of U sitcoms that suck too.

Thom@s
"If guns don't kill people, people kill people - does that mean toasters don't toast toast, toast toast toast?"
 
cornish
Posts: 7651
Joined: Fri Feb 18, 2005 8:05 pm

RE: Favourite Fawlty Towers Quote?

Fri May 06, 2005 6:05 pm

Manuel, you are a waste of space !!
Just when I thought I could see light at the end of the tunnel, it was some B*****d with a torch bringing me more work
 
UK_Dispatcher
Posts: 2254
Joined: Fri Dec 21, 2001 8:44 pm

RE: Favourite Fawlty Towers Quote?

Fri May 06, 2005 6:50 pm

Basil: This is exactly how Nazi Germany started! A bunch of layabouts with nothing better to do than poke their noses in looking for things to complain about! Well, I've had 15 years pandering to the likes of you, and I've had enough of it! Come on, pack your bags, and get out!

Come on... HORAUS! HORAUS! HORAUS!

Sybil enters

Sybil: What's going on, Basil?!

Basil: Well dear, the guests and I have been having a bit of a chinwag, and the upshot of it all is, they're off...

Sybil: Off?!

Basil: Well put it this way dear, either they go, or I go.

Sybil just looks at basil

Basil: Right, my wife has had a better idea - you can all stay - I'm going instead. Well, it's been an interesting 15 years dear, but all good things must come to an end. I do hope you enjoy your new work here, helping to run a hotel. Bye!

Sybil: You forgot your keys, Basil.


Basil leaves keys on desk, leaves the hotel, stands in the pouring rain, then goes back.


Sybil: What do you want, Basil?

Basil: A room, please. Now, 15 is free I think. Now I'd like breakfast in bed - thats eggs, bacon, sausage and tomato with a Waldorf Salad, washed down with lashings of hot Screwdriver.....
 
FMAL
Posts: 469
Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2004 9:16 am

RE: Favourite Fawlty Towers Quote?

Sat May 07, 2005 6:22 am

This thread just sent me right to amazon.com to buy the series on DVD. Just great stuff.
 
747srule
Posts: 388
Joined: Thu Mar 25, 2004 11:42 am

RE: Favourite Fawlty Towers Quote?

Sat May 07, 2005 9:01 am

I bought the entire dvd collection a few years back. John Cleese is just too funny!! I like the Germans episode the best.
Jesus is the way,the truth,and the life
 
Airdolomiti
Posts: 670
Joined: Fri May 16, 2003 10:05 pm

RE: Favourite Fawlty Towers Quote?

Tue May 10, 2005 4:42 am

Big John Cleese fan here - Fawlty Towers is one of my all-time favorites. Too many classic quotes to pick out just one!  Smile

Federico
 
mia
Posts: 813
Joined: Mon Mar 01, 2004 1:40 am

RE: Favourite Fawlty Towers Quote?

Tue May 10, 2005 4:44 am

"Brilliant! Brilliant! Is that what made Britain great!?..."
"Like all great travelers, I have seen more than I remember, and remember more than I have seen."
 
MrChips
Posts: 933
Joined: Wed Mar 30, 2005 2:56 pm

RE: Favourite Fawlty Towers Quote?

Tue May 10, 2005 5:03 am

Basil Fawlty: Everything all right here?
Mrs. Heath: Well...
Master Heath: I don't like the chips. The chips are awful.
Basil Fawlty: Really? How so?
Master Heath: They're the wrong shape and they're just awful.
Mrs. Heath: Ah, he's very clever... rather highly strung.
Basil Fawlty: Highly strung... Yes, he should be.
Time...to un-pimp...ze auto!
 
BA380
Posts: 1441
Joined: Mon May 17, 2004 9:59 pm

RE: Favourite Fawlty Towers Quote?

Tue May 10, 2005 9:10 pm

Major: D'Oliveira scored a hundred

Basil: Did he? Good old Dolly
cabin crew: doors to automatic and cross-check...
 
cornish
Posts: 7651
Joined: Fri Feb 18, 2005 8:05 pm

RE: Favourite Fawlty Towers Quote?

Tue May 10, 2005 9:26 pm

Basil: Can't we get you on Mastermind, Sybil? Next contestant - Sybil Fawlty from Torquay, specialist subject the bleedin' obvious
Just when I thought I could see light at the end of the tunnel, it was some B*****d with a torch bringing me more work
 
ndebelebev
Posts: 835
Joined: Wed Apr 21, 2004 1:59 am

RE: Favourite Fawlty Towers Quote?

Tue May 10, 2005 9:45 pm

What do you expect from a Torquay hotel bedroom?

says Basil to Mrs Richards

Sydney Opera House, The Hanging Gardens of Babylon, Herds of Wilderbeest sweeping majestically across the plain?

Cracking episode!!!!

Bev xxx
Her Pose Is That Of Someone... Who Knows It All And Is In Total Control Of Her World... Little Does She Know...

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 18 guests