monteycarlos
Posts: 2018
Joined: Sun Mar 20, 2005 5:16 pm

Girlfriend Issues

Sat May 21, 2005 11:46 am

Hey All...

I have myself in an interesting predicament and only have myself to blame!

My girlfriend and I work together, and thats how we met. However, things in my view are not going to well. I am bored, I don't feel anything for her, and most of all, she is starting to piss me off!

In the midst of all this, there is another girl at work who I feel things for yet we're not even together!

How am I going to get out of this alive?

Anyway, does anyone else have any stories of problem girlfriends/boyfriends that they want to share?

Cheers!
It's a beautiful night to fly like a phoenix...
 
Kieron747
Posts: 2461
Joined: Wed Feb 16, 2005 7:17 am

RE: Girlfriend Issues

Sat May 21, 2005 11:49 am

Girlfriend? Oh yes I often have issues with my girlfriend. It's called cramp in the hand.

Signed,

99% A.Net

On a more serious note, I don't see you getting out alive. Get a new job.
Airliners.Net - The Jam Rag Of The Web.
 
monteycarlos
Posts: 2018
Joined: Sun Mar 20, 2005 5:16 pm

RE: Girlfriend Issues

Sat May 21, 2005 12:02 pm

Quoting Kieron747 (Reply 1):
On a more serious note, I don't see you getting out alive. Get a new job.

A new job I would love! However the issue is that the other girl, I really like and if I change job... something may never happen between us!
It's a beautiful night to fly like a phoenix...
 
theCoz
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RE: Girlfriend Issues

Sat May 21, 2005 12:05 pm

Monteycarlos, what's so bad about being with your current girlfriend?
 
Kieron747
Posts: 2461
Joined: Wed Feb 16, 2005 7:17 am

RE: Girlfriend Issues

Sat May 21, 2005 12:06 pm

Yep but just imagine how crappy it would be if you dumped your girlfriend, and then started seeing the other girl.

I predict serious issues at work if you follow such a course of action!

Hell hath no fury eh...

Kieron747

P.s. What actually is your job?
Airliners.Net - The Jam Rag Of The Web.
 
Kieron747
Posts: 2461
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RE: Girlfriend Issues

Sat May 21, 2005 12:07 pm

I hope to god you don't work in a knife factory!  Wink
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S12PPL
Posts: 3603
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RE: Girlfriend Issues

Sat May 21, 2005 12:10 pm

Quoting Kieron747 (Reply 1):
Girlfriend? Oh yes I often have issues with my girlfriend. It's called cramp in the hand.

Signed,

99% A.Net

Is it just me, or are these jokes getting a wee bit old??


As for your relationship issue....

Have you tried talking to your girlfriend about your issues???? It seems to me if you don't try to talk about what is upsetting you, you'll never fix the problem...Instead all you will do is make the relationship worse.
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theCoz
Posts: 3933
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RE: Girlfriend Issues

Sat May 21, 2005 12:12 pm

Quoting S12PPL (Reply 6):
Is it just me, or are these jokes getting a wee bit old??

For being under 25, you sure are grumpy.
 
monteycarlos
Posts: 2018
Joined: Sun Mar 20, 2005 5:16 pm

RE: Girlfriend Issues

Sat May 21, 2005 12:15 pm

Quoting TheCoz (Reply 3):
what's so bad about being with your current girlfriend?

Its at the stage where she is just too attached and I am really starting to hate the time we spend together. I really look forward to my time alone, because being with her is just really frustrating.

Quoting Kieron747 (Reply 5):
I hope to god you don't work in a knife factory!

Thankfully not.

Quoting S12PPL (Reply 6):
Have you tried talking to your girlfriend about your issues????

Every time I try it gets derailed because she starts crying or takes it off on a tangent. But mostly she gets upset as soon as I try and talk and it becomes a case of damage control.

Quoting S12PPL (Reply 6):
It seems to me if you don't try to talk about what is upsetting you, you'll never fix the problem...Instead all you will do is make the relationship worse.

Yeah for sure, but I feel she is just not mature enough to deal with what I want to talk about!
It's a beautiful night to fly like a phoenix...
 
Kieron747
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RE: Girlfriend Issues

Sat May 21, 2005 12:16 pm

How old is she if you don't mind me asking?

Kieron747
Airliners.Net - The Jam Rag Of The Web.
 
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jetjack74
Posts: 6576
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RE: Girlfriend Issues

Sat May 21, 2005 12:22 pm

Ok Richard III,
I would say that you have the golden opportunity.
Option 1: Start confiding in this other one. Tell her that things aren't going well. Start saying this grown-up garbage. This other girl may see that you're vulnerable and try and steal you away from her. Girls love to hear gossip. Play the sensitive angle. She'll be putty in your hands. And when the time is right, dump your girlfriend.
OR
Option 2: Put a piece of company property in your girlfriends handbag, then go to a payphone, and phone into the boss as an anonymous caller and tell him she's been stealing things. She gets fired, and you can break up with her because you don't want to date a thief, and ask this other bird out.

So the 2 options are:
Option 1   
Option 2   
Choice is yours mate. Keep us updated.

[Edited 2005-05-21 05:25:31]
Made from jets!
 
monteycarlos
Posts: 2018
Joined: Sun Mar 20, 2005 5:16 pm

RE: Girlfriend Issues

Sat May 21, 2005 12:28 pm

Quoting Kieron747 (Reply 9):
How old is she if you don't mind me asking?

She is 19, almost 20. What she finds difficult is this:

I am at university full time, and work part time. I do pretty much 20-25 hours at work per week, I have sport two nights a week, I have three full uni days and that leaves very little time for both her and study... let alone time to see my friends and have some time to myself which I need to keep sane!

She wants to see me six times a week, and I really struggle to see her twice... I call her every night (against my own wishes) because otherwise she would make life when we do see each other very hard.
It's a beautiful night to fly like a phoenix...
 
airxliban
Posts: 4285
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RE: Girlfriend Issues

Sat May 21, 2005 12:32 pm

get one of your mates to cheat on you with her and then dump her and go for the other.

hope that you don't all work in close proximity to each other at least...
PARIS, FRANCE...THE BEIRUT OF EUROPE.
 
Kieron747
Posts: 2461
Joined: Wed Feb 16, 2005 7:17 am

RE: Girlfriend Issues

Sat May 21, 2005 12:49 pm

Quoting S12PPL (Reply 6):
Is it just me, or are these jokes getting a wee bit old??

I'm sorry about my above comment. I'm just jealous because I don't have a girlfriend. All we do around here in Oregon is walk along train tracks looking for dead bodies whilst listening to a certain song by Ben E. King.

Signed,

S12PPL

 Wink
Airliners.Net - The Jam Rag Of The Web.
 
monteycarlos
Posts: 2018
Joined: Sun Mar 20, 2005 5:16 pm

RE: Girlfriend Issues

Sat May 21, 2005 12:49 pm

Quoting Jetjack74 (Reply 10):
Option 1: Start confiding in this other one. Tell her that things aren't going well. Start saying this grown-up garbage. This other girl may see that you're vulnerable and try and steal you away from her. Girls love to hear gossip. Play the sensitive angle. She'll be putty in your hands. And when the time is right, dump your girlfriend.

Thats a good option but I am too honest for that... I could never play either of them without letting the guilt burden me.

Quoting Jetjack74 (Reply 10):
Option 2: Put a piece of company property in your girlfriends handbag, then go to a payphone, and phone into the boss as an anonymous caller and tell him she's been stealing things. She gets fired, and you can break up with her because you don't want to date a thief, and ask this other bird out.

LOL!

Quoting AirxLiban (Reply 12):
get one of your mates to cheat on you with her and then dump her and go for the other.

HA! I'd never give them the pleasure. Actually one of my friends tried before, but she turned him down...

Quoting AirxLiban (Reply 12):
hope that you don't all work in close proximity to each other at least...

We work at exactly the same place... except the other girl is in another part of the site. (I am doing my best to get her over to my area)
It's a beautiful night to fly like a phoenix...
 
monteycarlos
Posts: 2018
Joined: Sun Mar 20, 2005 5:16 pm

RE: Girlfriend Issues

Sat May 21, 2005 1:57 pm

So what about other people?

Surely someone else has a story that is similar to mine?

What happened, what did you do, how did it turn out etc.?

Cheers!
It's a beautiful night to fly like a phoenix...
 
Kieron747
Posts: 2461
Joined: Wed Feb 16, 2005 7:17 am

RE: Girlfriend Issues

Sat May 21, 2005 2:09 pm

OK, the hard truth. When at University I had a girlfriend on my course. We drifted apart, and then this fresher turned up in my department and like a fool I chased after her.

It ended between me and my girlfriend, and I started seeing this young girl. It was very very difficult thereafter (I was slapped a few times and had several pints poured over me!), however the net result was that I ended up completely single.

I don't want to put you off, but jees, now I am older and in retrospect, I wish I had never ended the original relationship. The girl was clingy, and a tad immature, but she was devoted and loving.

But what the hell! you're at Uni, It's not like you're going to be working at this place forever, and if your course goes well you may not even end up working in the same area!

Kieron747
Airliners.Net - The Jam Rag Of The Web.
 
stlgph
Posts: 8927
Joined: Tue Oct 12, 2004 4:19 pm

RE: Girlfriend Issues

Sat May 21, 2005 3:12 pm

Quoting TheCoz (Reply 7):
For being under 25, you sure are grumpy.

yes, you can definitely tell who gets laid around here and who doesn't.

Quoting Monteycarlos (Reply 15):
Surely someone else has a story that is similar to mine?

always live by this quote.

"Never date anybody in the same band."
--Chrissie Hynde
if assumptions could fly, airliners.net would be the world's busiest airport
 
KC135R
Posts: 696
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RE: Girlfriend Issues

Sat May 21, 2005 4:52 pm

Just a suggestion - don't date people from work. Why?

-If you break up you still have to see them every day
-Personal problems from home might end up rearing their ugly head at work
-You don't get much of a break from each other. Work together, go out (and/or live) together - no time apart not always a good thing, after all - absence makes the heart grow fonder.

You should tell the girl you are with now how you feel. If she is getting attached it is only fair she knows that you aren't there. Then, you should forget about this other girl - unless you think she's "the one" and go out with your friends and find a girl you don't work with. These work relationships will only cause you great heartache in the end.
 
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jetjack74
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RE: Girlfriend Issues

Sat May 21, 2005 5:09 pm

More couples meet in the workplace then anywhere else, followed closely by the internet.
Made from jets!
 
KC135R
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RE: Girlfriend Issues

Sat May 21, 2005 5:19 pm

Quoting Jetjack74 (Reply 19):
More couples meet in the workplace then anywhere else, followed closely by the internet.

Perhaps...still doesn't necessarily make it a good idea,
 
mika
Posts: 2810
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RE: Girlfriend Issues

Sat May 21, 2005 7:47 pm

Find some other place to meet a girlfriend than your job! I could never imagine having to work with my GF, work is work and love life is love life. I am certain that any relationship would fail if you work together, it just seems to damn much.
 
Pe@rson
Posts: 16001
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RE: Girlfriend Issues

Sat May 21, 2005 7:49 pm

Quoting Monteycarlos (Thread starter):
I am bored, I don't feel anything for her, and most of all, she is starting to piss me off!

Isn't this like any relationship?   I hate to admit it, but my older and wiser brother once told me something very true: you have to work hard at relationships if they are to last. OK, it's easy in theory, but in practice it is much more difficult.

Quoting Kieron747 (Reply 1):
Girlfriend? Oh yes I often have issues with my girlfriend. It's called cramp in the hand.

Signed,

99% A.Net

LMAO.  

Quoting S12PPL (Reply 6):
Is it just me, or are these jokes getting a wee bit old??

Aren't the old ones (NOT the old women) the best?

[Edited 2005-05-21 12:52:01]
"Everyone writing for the Telegraph knows that the way to grab eyeballs is with Ryanair and/or sex."
 
WunalaYann
Posts: 2128
Joined: Mon Mar 07, 2005 12:55 am

RE: Girlfriend Issues

Sat May 21, 2005 8:08 pm

Quoting Pe@rson (Reply 22):
Aren't the old ones (NOT the old women) the best?

Am I allowed to play Gkirk in his absence? Thanks. So there:

"Yeah, sure, James, but enough with your mum."

Does it sound credible?  Wink

On a serious note, Carl, I fear there is no way outside of saying the plain truth. Try to soften the edges, but really, at some point, you will not be able to avoid saying things the way they are. Yes, it will hurt her, yes, it will hurt you to see that you have hurt her. Not nice. At all. You will hate yourself for what you have done, but it's still waaaaaay better than waiting for your relationship to become very serious and to say "no" in front of the priest or, far worse, in front of your kids.

Now you are in an even worse shape than a few posts ago, mate, and I sympathize. Muster your courage and go.

Cheers,

Y.
 
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HAWK21M
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RE: Girlfriend Issues

Sat May 21, 2005 9:16 pm

Quoting Monteycarlos (Reply 11):
She wants to see me six times a week, and I really struggle to see her twice... I call her every night (against my own wishes) because otherwise she would make life when we do see each other very hard.

Out here its called "Chipku" or Sticky  Smile
Talk it out....Say you need space.If it works fine,else get moving.
regds
MEL
I may not win often, but I damn well never lose!!! ;)
 
monteycarlos
Posts: 2018
Joined: Sun Mar 20, 2005 5:16 pm

RE: Girlfriend Issues

Sat May 21, 2005 9:48 pm

Quoting KC135R (Reply 18):
Then, you should forget about this other girl - unless you think she's "the one" and go out with your friends and find a girl you don't work with. These work relationships will only cause you great heartache in the end.

Well interesting - tonight I had a shift at work, and when I started the other girl was finishing and she made me lose all concentration, and I felt like I never have before. She might not be "the one," but she affects me and I barely know her that well... strange!

Quoting Pe@rson (Reply 22):
you have to work hard at relationships if they are to last. OK, it's easy in theory, but in practice it is much more difficult.

I know, but I think I might just be over it?

Quoting WunalaYann (Reply 23):
On a serious note, Carl, I fear there is no way outside of saying the plain truth. Try to soften the edges, but really, at some point, you will not be able to avoid saying things the way they are. Yes, it will hurt her, yes, it will hurt you to see that you have hurt her. Not nice. At all. You will hate yourself for what you have done, but it's still waaaaaay better than waiting for your relationship to become very serious and to say "no" in front of the priest or, far worse, in front of your kids.

Now you are in an even worse shape than a few posts ago, mate, and I sympathize. Muster your courage and go.

Thanks mate... I am seriously weighing up the options. It is going to hurt both of us whenever it happens... (and it will because I have no intention of marrying this girl).

Quoting HAWK21M (Reply 24):
Out here its called "Chipku" or Sticky
Talk it out....Say you need space.If it works fine,else get moving.

Yeah... Thanks everyone!
It's a beautiful night to fly like a phoenix...
 
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OzarkD9S
Posts: 4717
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RE: Girlfriend Issues

Sun May 22, 2005 12:58 am

Ditch the bitch, make the switch. Go find a nice Jewish guy.
Next up: STL-OAK-RNO-LAS-ICT-STL
 
KC135R
Posts: 696
Joined: Sun May 01, 2005 6:38 am

RE: Girlfriend Issues

Sun May 22, 2005 2:08 am

Quoting Monteycarlos (Reply 25):
Well interesting - tonight I had a shift at work, and when I started the other girl was finishing and she made me lose all concentration, and I felt like I never have before. She might not be "the one," but she affects me and I barely know her that well... strange!

That could be a sign of something - or it could just be infatuation, which is a very powerful and intoxicating feeling, not to be confused with love.

Quoting Monteycarlos (Reply 25):
I know, but I think I might just be over it?

Then in fairness to you and her both, you should politely move on even if it is hard to do - at any rate, good luck with whatever you decide, but I would be leery of the work relationship.

Quoting OzarkD9S (Reply 26):
Go find a nice Jewish guy.

That would definitely be a change of pace for him!!  laughing 
 
clrd2go
Posts: 976
Joined: Sat Mar 01, 2003 4:43 am

RE: Girlfriend Issues

Sun May 22, 2005 2:27 am

rule #1 DO NOT date anyone with whom you work. Ever.





Jim
What a long strange trip it's been
 
avek00
Posts: 3155
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RE: Girlfriend Issues

Sun May 22, 2005 3:37 am

Never find your honey where you get your money - it creates many complications, not the least of which is the potential of a sexual harrasment complaint (and your termination) if it all goes sour.
Live life to the fullest.
 
Fokker Lover
Posts: 523
Joined: Fri May 10, 2002 10:05 am

RE: Girlfriend Issues

Sun May 22, 2005 4:17 am

This is where the old saying "you don't crap where you eat" comes in. Don't date people from work either. Same goes for marrying your bosses daughter. You get divorced, you lose your family, and your job at the same time.

Tell the clingy thing the truth. "Baby, I'm young, immature, and horny. I just want to screw everything that moves. If your ok with that and are up for a threesome with that babe from the deli department, we can stay together. If not it was nice being with you."

Write that on the palm of your hand so you get it right.
10,000 years ago we would have eaten you. Today, we drag you along and allow you to pollute the gene pool.
 
clrd2go
Posts: 976
Joined: Sat Mar 01, 2003 4:43 am

RE: Girlfriend Issues

Sun May 22, 2005 5:15 am

There ya go..do the ol' Seinfeld "Menage a trois" trick!


"I"m not an orgy guy!"



Jim
What a long strange trip it's been
 
Salukipilot
Posts: 126
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RE: Girlfriend Issues

Sun May 22, 2005 11:31 am

That was on not too long ago actually Jim!
Silver Airways Captain
 
N317AS
Posts: 941
Joined: Thu May 20, 2004 1:25 pm

RE: Girlfriend Issues

Sun May 22, 2005 11:48 am

Quoting Monteycarlos (Reply 14):
Thats a good option but I am too honest for that...

If you are that honest, be honest with her and dump her. If not, here's a suggestion taken froin Seinfeld for all three of you.

"I don't know how you pronounce it or anything...but I believe the phrase is menage-a-tois"

They'll both either love you or dump you or.....
Some people are like Slinkies. They bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.
 
S12PPL
Posts: 3603
Joined: Wed Mar 17, 2004 5:26 am

RE: Girlfriend Issues

Sun May 22, 2005 2:28 pm

Quoting Kieron747 (Reply 13):
I'm sorry about my above comment. I'm just jealous because I don't have a girlfriend. All we do around here in Oregon is walk along train tracks looking for dead bodies whilst listening to a certain song by Ben E. King.

Signed,

S12PPL

Kieron, I can honestly say you are the first person to use that stupid one liner against me Smile

But I stand by my original comment. While the "signed, ****" jokes were funny the first few times...It isn't very original any longer... Wink
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DeskPilot
Posts: 704
Joined: Wed Apr 07, 2004 8:02 am

RE: Girlfriend Issues

Sun May 22, 2005 7:22 pm

Quoting Avek00 (Reply 29):
Never find your honey where you get your money



Quoting Fokker Lover (Reply 30):
"you don't crap where you eat"

Good advise, but I don't think it will help Montycarlos at the moment.

Montycarlos, do the right thing and end things with your current girl and deal with the fallout. Be honest to her and yourself. Then when you're both accepted what's happended, and you've had time to reflect on what went wrong (so hopefully it doesn't happen again), you can look around. However, learn the lesson and take Avek00 and Fokker Love's advise - find someone out of work.

Good luck.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
 
monteycarlos
Posts: 2018
Joined: Sun Mar 20, 2005 5:16 pm

RE: Girlfriend Issues

Sun May 22, 2005 9:24 pm

Quoting OzarkD9S (Reply 26):
Go find a nice Jewish guy.

Hmmm, I'm not sure about that.

Quoting KC135R (Reply 27):
That could be a sign of something

I'm hoping - saw her again at work today... she is so magical.

Quoting KC135R (Reply 27):
Then in fairness to you and her both, you should politely move on even if it is hard to do - at any rate, good luck with whatever you decide, but I would be leery of the work relationship.

It is going to be a very tough decision and I think the timing is going to be important, as she can be very fragile as I said.

Quoting Clrd2go (Reply 28):
rule #1 DO NOT date anyone with whom you work. Ever.

This seems to be the general concensus - but am I to ignore the obvious strong feelings I have for the other girl just because of this?

Quoting N317AS (Reply 33):
If you are that honest, be honest with her and dump her. If not, here's a suggestion taken froin Seinfeld for all three of you.

Yes, you have a valid point... Yet I am not lying at the moment. I am just not sharing the truth.

Quoting DeskPilot (Reply 35):
Good advise, but I don't think it will help Montycarlos at the moment.

Its helping me to realise the way I should have gone, but doing little to help me with how to get out with the desired result. But thanks anyway guys, I need the advice.

Quoting DeskPilot (Reply 35):
Montycarlos, do the right thing and end things with your current girl and deal with the fallout. Be honest to her and yourself. Then when you're both accepted what's happended, and you've had time to reflect on what went wrong (so hopefully it doesn't happen again), you can look around. However, learn the lesson and take Avek00 and Fokker Love's advise - find someone out of work.

Yes... maybe some sacrifices are in order?
It's a beautiful night to fly like a phoenix...
 
avek00
Posts: 3155
Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2004 5:56 am

RE: Girlfriend Issues

Mon May 23, 2005 12:25 am

Quoting Monteycarlos (Reply 36):
but am I to ignore the obvious strong feelings I have for the other girl just because of this?

Yes, because if you don't, there's a decent chance your next thread will be "Can you help me find a new job?" Women in your workplace simply have to be OFF LIMITS, no matter how attractive they might be - it's for the sake of YOUR continued livelihood.
Live life to the fullest.
 
senorcarnival
Posts: 1732
Joined: Tue Mar 08, 2005 4:05 am

RE: Girlfriend Issues

Mon May 23, 2005 3:00 am

When she breaks down crying, that's called manipulation. It's her way of making sure you feel maximum guilt for what you're about to do. You have to simply do it and try to tune out the crying.
If she is clingy and borderline psychotic as it sounds, then maybe she needs some counseling. Either way, if you're not the least bit interested in this relationship, you gotta bail. You gotta do what you feel what's in your best interest, and it sounds like you got a full schedule as it is.
Also, I strongly recommend you not doing anything with this new chick, unless it's a consensual one-night sexual romp, and don't get into a relationship right now. It doesn't sound like you got the time for it. "Insanity is doing the same things over and over, expecting different results each time." Catch my drift? You're only falling into the same awkwardness by pursuing a meaningful relationship with this other bird, provided you stay at this job. Also, even if you do get a new job and go after Girl #2, think how awkward it would be for the BOTH of them to still work together.
Summarizing, break up with this girl and don't let her crying and pouting get in your way. Get a new job, it's the only way out. Sounding as clingy as she is, she might go long distances to ensure that you keep her. You could always try and work a different shift, if that's an option.
Oh no, she's getting impatient! Take a stab at it!
 
VS747SPUR
Posts: 365
Joined: Fri Mar 25, 2005 6:35 am

RE: Girlfriend Issues

Mon May 23, 2005 7:23 am

Hi there,
If I were you I'd sit down with your current girlfriend and have a big talk with her like have both your feelings out with eachother etc.. ( I am assuming you havent done this although you may have already) because you 2 may share a common problem that can be sorted.
If there really is no hope of you and your girlfriend being together, then I would get the other girls phone number. I would then leave the job (unless it was my dream job), wait for things to die down a little (this will allow you to regroup your feelings as well ) and then call this other girl. You will soon find out if shes interested.

All the best,

VS747SUR
Fly DL
 
BMIFlyer
Posts: 8065
Joined: Mon Feb 23, 2004 7:11 am

RE: Girlfriend Issues

Mon May 23, 2005 7:43 am

I think you should talk to your girlfriend, before you get too overworked.


Lee
Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own
 
monteycarlos
Posts: 2018
Joined: Sun Mar 20, 2005 5:16 pm

RE: Girlfriend Issues

Mon May 23, 2005 6:04 pm

Quoting Avek00 (Reply 37):
Yes, because if you don't, there's a decent chance your next thread will be "Can you help me find a new job?" Women in your workplace simply have to be OFF LIMITS, no matter how attractive they might be - it's for the sake of YOUR continued livelihood.

I do see your point, but the possibilities are what draw me to her... I could see myself with this girl for a long time, but with my girlfriend I can't.

Quoting Senorcarnival (Reply 38):
When she breaks down crying, that's called manipulation.

Yeah, I think that is what she is doing.

Quoting Senorcarnival (Reply 38):
Get a new job, it's the only way out.

Easier said then done...

Quoting VS747SPUR (Reply 39):
If there really is no hope of you and your girlfriend being together, then I would get the other girls phone number.

I already have it.

Quoting BMIFlyer (Reply 40):
I think you should talk to your girlfriend, before you get too overworked.

I will try, but I am going to have to be alot stronger than I have been previously.
It's a beautiful night to fly like a phoenix...
 
bill142
Posts: 7853
Joined: Wed Aug 04, 2004 1:50 pm

RE: Girlfriend Issues

Mon May 23, 2005 9:32 pm

The questions which have to be asked are, how much trouble will any new relationship casue? Having you, your ex and your current girlfriend in the same place can't be conducive to a healthy working environment. How much interaction, in the workplace, will you have? are you in a more senior position and will there be times where you will have to exercise your authority?. This could lead to her not doing the work you requested in protest. Then there is the ever looming threat of sexual harrasment, espcially if she becomes jealous about your new relationship. In this case, don't tell her your breaking up with her because "I don't have time for a relationship". Having said that being blut about the situation isn't going to be good. Maybe you should do something, not bad, lots of little things, to make her break up with you.
 
sevenair
Posts: 1486
Joined: Sun Feb 04, 2001 7:18 am

RE: Girlfriend Issues

Tue May 24, 2005 12:07 am

yeh, I was in a similar predicament, I got rid of the curent one, in favour of the new, the one one messed me about. So now, Im not with either!
 
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RobK
Posts: 3210
Joined: Mon Sep 06, 2004 1:43 pm

RE: Girlfriend Issues

Tue May 24, 2005 1:50 am

Quoting Monteycarlos (Reply 41):
Quoting Avek00 (Reply 37):
Yes, because if you don't, there's a decent chance your next thread will be "Can you help me find a new job?" Women in your workplace simply have to be OFF LIMITS, no matter how attractive they might be - it's for the sake of YOUR continued livelihood.

I do see your point, but the possibilities are what draw me to her... I could see myself with this girl for a long time, but with my girlfriend I can't.

How the hell can you see yourself being with girl 2 "for a long time" when you don't even know her . What planet are you on ?!!??

In my own experiences of women (at 28), it takes at least 6 months being in a close relationship with them to even GET TO KNOW them properly and find out all their annoying habits, like using your Mach 3 turbo to shave their legs and wearing your best shirts to mooch around the house etc (I'm sure there are zillions of others but those two were at the top of my head). How you've come to the conclusion that you "could see myself with this girl for a long time", I really don't know.

Getting shut of girl 1 is your main priority though, like just about everyone else has said. Forget the 'let's sit down and talk it through' bollocks as it's clear from your posts that you've absolutely no feelings for this chick at all and just want shut of her. Yeah she'll burst into tears and make you feel guilty as hell but that's what chicks do so just don't let it worry you. If you can make sure one or more of her mates are about when you tell her it would be better as it would soften the blow somewhat in that they'll be able to comfort her.

Be prepared for a hard time at work from her afterwards though and plenty of pleading to get back together. Unless you're up for a REALLY HARD LIFE, I'd completely forget chick no2 while ever you're now ex is still working there, regardless of how tempting she might be.

Cheers,

Rob K  Wink
 
Kieron747
Posts: 2461
Joined: Wed Feb 16, 2005 7:17 am

RE: Girlfriend Issues

Tue May 24, 2005 3:50 am

Quoting Pe@rson (Reply 22):
Aren't the old ones (NOT the old women) the best?

Yes the old ones are the best, but at my age, you just have to take anything that's available!

Signed,

Skidmarks

 Wink
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avek00
Posts: 3155
Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2004 5:56 am

RE: Girlfriend Issues

Tue May 24, 2005 7:38 am

Quoting Monteycarlos (Reply 41):
I do see your point, but the possibilities are what draw me to her... I could see myself with this girl for a long time, but with my girlfriend I can't.

Why make your work life more complicated (and risk-laden) than it already will be once you dump your current girlfriend?
Live life to the fullest.
 
monteycarlos
Posts: 2018
Joined: Sun Mar 20, 2005 5:16 pm

RE: Girlfriend Issues

Tue May 24, 2005 10:24 am

Quoting Bill142 (Reply 42):
Maybe you should do something, not bad, lots of little things, to make her break up with you.

Its those kind of things that she does that make me want to dump her.... maybe she is secretly saying "dump me"?

Quoting RobK (Reply 44):
How the hell can you see yourself being with girl 2 "for a long time" when you don't even know her . What planet are you on ?!!??

I think you have brought me back to earth. Basically, when thinking over your post I realised that maybe the reason I like the other one so much is because she seems so different or so much more enticing than my current girlfriend which may be what the attraction is based on. You guys are all right, I need to let them both go... I think the timing will be when/if I change areas again at work (as I have applied for a higher internal position which will isolate me very well from both of them) but that all pends on me getting that position... if I don't I would probably leave the company... its a bad organisation to work for (and I will not name it - sorry!)

Quoting Avek00 (Reply 46):
Why make your work life more complicated (and risk-laden) than it already will be once you dump your current girlfriend?

Yep, I think I need to accept this...

Cheers
It's a beautiful night to fly like a phoenix...

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