KiwiNanday
Topic Author
Posts: 1334
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English Of The European Union

Sat Jun 25, 2005 10:47 am

Hope you enjoy it this as much as i did Big grin Big grin Big grin


"The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English
will be the official language of the European Union rather than
German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that
English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-
year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will
make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted
to
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finaly cum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas."

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.

I got zis frum ze forums at opszon.com. I hop no vun taks ofens!
Silly Islamic extremists, it's just a cartoon!
 
oldeuropean
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RE: English Of The European Union

Sat Jun 25, 2005 9:52 pm

That`s such an very very very old joke. I still have heard it sometimes in the 80th.

Axel  yawn 
Wer nichts weiss muss alles glauben
 
Catatonic
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Joined: Sat Mar 20, 2004 3:58 am

RE: English Of The European Union

Sat Jun 25, 2005 10:53 pm

LMFAO, that was funny!

Quoting Oldeuropean (Reply 1):
that`s such an very very very old joke. I still have heard it sometimes in the 80th.

Well of course you arent going to find it funny, your German!
Equally Cursed and Blessed.
 
flyAUA
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Joined: Wed May 25, 2005 3:12 am

RE: English Of The European Union

Sat Jun 25, 2005 11:27 pm

Quoting Catatonic (Reply 2):
Well of course you arent going to find it funny, your German!

It's old but indeed funny. And hey, I am Austrian but I still find it funny!!
Not drinking, also isn't a solution!
 
MIAspotter
Posts: 2848
Joined: Fri Nov 16, 2001 1:57 pm

RE: English Of The European Union

Sun Jun 26, 2005 7:51 am

ROFLMAO!!! Big grin

I have one too! I saw it on a friend's T-shirt last weekend.

United Europe

In heaven...

The policemen are English
The cooks are French
The bankers are Belgian
The dancers are Spanish
The lovers are Italian
And its all organized by the Germans.

In hell...

The policemen are French
The cooks are English
The bankers are Spanish
The dancers are Belgian
The lovers are German
And its all organized by the Italians.

Oh well not as good as the other one but I tried. LOL

MIAspotter
Nos vamos de Vueling?
 
TPASXM787
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RE: English Of The European Union

Sun Jun 26, 2005 7:52 am

LOL

Nicely done Kiwi!
This is the Last Stop.
 
aloges
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RE: English Of The European Union

Sun Jun 26, 2005 7:57 am

Vee no vots best fo yu ennyve, zo vai eevn boza reeziztink?
Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.
 
futureuapilot
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RE: English Of The European Union

Sun Jun 26, 2005 8:02 am

Haha, Great stuff!!!

-Sam
The Pilot is the highest form of life on Earth!
 
gkirk
Posts: 23345
Joined: Thu Jun 15, 2000 3:29 am

RE: English Of The European Union

Sun Jun 26, 2005 8:34 am

Time to bomb those German gits again I think  Wink
When you hear the noise of the Tartan Army Boys, we'll be coming down the road!
 
MD11Engineer
Posts: 13916
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RE: English Of The European Union

Sun Jun 26, 2005 10:52 am

Quoting Gkirk (Reply 8):
Time to bomb those German gits again I think Wink

Kirkie,

Will we see you Scots during the football world championship next year or will you drop out before?

Jan
Je Suis Charlie et je suis Ahmet aussi
 
gkirk
Posts: 23345
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RE: English Of The European Union

Sun Jun 26, 2005 5:29 pm

Quoting MD11Engineer (Reply 9):
Will we see you Scots during the football world championship next year or will you drop out before?

Dunno, whatever happens we'll be drunk anyway  Wink
T'is the English fans you have to watch out for  Wink
When you hear the noise of the Tartan Army Boys, we'll be coming down the road!
 
oldeuropean
Posts: 1686
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RE: English Of The European Union

Sun Jun 26, 2005 5:41 pm

Quoting Catatonic (Reply 2):
Well of course you arent going to find it funny, your German!

No, not because I�m German. It`s because, I don`t like prejudices. Specially not from England, where you can find insults against Germany in the press, nearly every week. Btw, it is funny that no one in Germany really cares much about it and you never can find something like this in the German media.

As I said in another post: I don`t know why they need these insults.
Perhaps they have an inferiority-complex.


Axel

[Edited 2005-06-26 10:53:42]
Wer nichts weiss muss alles glauben
 
gkirk
Posts: 23345
Joined: Thu Jun 15, 2000 3:29 am

RE: English Of The European Union

Sun Jun 26, 2005 6:16 pm

The English don't like you Germans because you steal the sunbeds...I suppose us Scots hate you for that also  Wink
When you hear the noise of the Tartan Army Boys, we'll be coming down the road!
 
flyAUA
Posts: 4287
Joined: Wed May 25, 2005 3:12 am

RE: English Of The European Union

Mon Jun 27, 2005 12:38 am

Quoting MIAspotter (Reply 4):
I have one too! I saw it on a friend's T-shirt last weekend.

United Europe

In heaven...

The policemen are English
The cooks are French
The bankers are Belgian
The dancers are Spanish
The lovers are Italian
And its all organized by the Germans.

In hell...

The policemen are French
The cooks are English
The bankers are Spanish
The dancers are Belgian
The lovers are German
And its all organized by the Italians.

I think you're talking about this:

Not drinking, also isn't a solution!
 
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jetjack74
Posts: 6576
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RE: English Of The European Union

Mon Jun 27, 2005 1:22 am

Quoted from a comic genius:
Basil "Well you started it!

German: We did not start it!

Basil: Yes you did, you invaded Poland!"
Made from jets!
 
pelican
Posts: 2429
Joined: Mon Apr 05, 2004 9:51 pm

RE: English Of The European Union

Mon Jun 27, 2005 1:24 am

Quoting Jetjack74 (Reply 14):

Basil: Yes you did, you invaded Poland!"

Don't mention the war!

pelican

[Edited 2005-06-26 18:45:27]
 
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jetjack74
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RE: English Of The European Union

Mon Jun 27, 2005 1:29 am

You have absolutely NO sense humour. Do you?
Made from jets!
 
pelican
Posts: 2429
Joined: Mon Apr 05, 2004 9:51 pm

RE: English Of The European Union

Mon Jun 27, 2005 1:43 am

Quoting Jetjack74 (Reply 16):
You have absolutely NO sense humour. Do you?

Who?

pelican
 
andz
Posts: 7624
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RE: English Of The European Union

Mon Jun 27, 2005 1:46 am

LOL Jetjack is obviously not a Fawlty Towers afficionado!
After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says WTF...
 
aloges
Posts: 14842
Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2006 3:38 am

RE: English Of The European Union

Mon Jun 27, 2005 2:13 am

Quoting Andz (Reply 18):
LOL Jetjack is obviously not a Fawlty Towers afficionado!

This seems to be what happens when you know one quote from a movie!  rotfl 
Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.
 
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jetjack74
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RE: English Of The European Union

Mon Jun 27, 2005 3:20 am

Quoting Pelican (Reply 17):
Who?

That's a quote from the episode. Watch it a little more closely.

Quoting Jetjack74 (Reply 16):
You have absolutely NO sense humour. Do you?

Basil says this right after he impersonates Hitler, and the german man says that the "war was not funny, not for any german people"

Quoting Aloges (Reply 19):
This seems to be what happens when you know one quote from a movie

Well, I know more than you, because it's not a movie, it's a series.

[Edited 2005-06-26 20:30:10]
Made from jets!

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