User avatar
HAWK21M
Topic Author
Posts: 29943
Joined: Fri Jan 05, 2001 10:05 pm

Smart Oneliners

Tue Jun 28, 2005 8:28 pm

A Friend sent this Email with Smart Oneliners:-

Coca-Cola was originally green.

The most common name in the world is Mohammed.


The name of all the continents ends with the same letter that they start with.


The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.


There are two credit cards for every person in the United States.

TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using theletters only on one row of the keyboard.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men!!

You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.


It is impossible to lick your elbow.


People say "Bless you" when you sneeze because when you sneeze, your heart stops for a millisecond.

It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.

The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.

If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die.

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents great king from history.

Spades - King David
Clubs - Alexander the Great,
Hearts - Charlemagne
Diamonds - Julius Caesar.

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321


If a statue of a person in the park on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle.

If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle.

If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

What do bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers all have in common?

Ans. - All were invented by women.



Question - This is the only food that doesn't spoil. What is this?

Ans. – Honey


A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.

A snail can sleep for three years.

All polar bears are left handed.

Butterflies taste with their feet.

Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.


In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.


On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.

Shakespeare invented the word 'assassination' and 'bump'.

Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.

The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.


The electric chair was invented by a dentist.


The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.

Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over million descendants.

Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.

The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

Most lipstick contains fish scales.

Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different


regds
MEL
I may not win often, but I damn well never lose!!! ;)
 
Banco
Posts: 14343
Joined: Mon Oct 29, 2001 11:56 pm

RE: Smart Oneliners

Tue Jun 28, 2005 8:42 pm

Quoting HAWK21M (Thread starter):
People say "Bless you" when you sneeze because when you sneeze, your heart stops for a millisecond.

That could only be a recent discovery. The phrase is way older than that, and is thought to derive from the time of the Black Death. Sneezing was one of the first symptoms, which is why those around said "God Bless You". It's also the origin of the rather gruesome children's nursery rhyme:

A ring, a ring of roses
A pocket full of posies
A-tishoo, a-tishoo
We all fall down.
She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.
 
gkirk
Posts: 23349
Joined: Thu Jun 15, 2000 3:29 am

RE: Smart Oneliners

Tue Jun 28, 2005 9:22 pm

Quoting Banco (Reply 1):
A ring, a ring of roses
A pocket full of posies
A-tishoo, a-tishoo
We all fall down.

Down at the bottom
Of the deep blue sea
Catching Fishes
For our tea!
When you hear the noise of the Tartan Army Boys, we'll be coming down the road!
 
Banco
Posts: 14343
Joined: Mon Oct 29, 2001 11:56 pm

RE: Smart Oneliners

Tue Jun 28, 2005 9:32 pm

Very good, Kirkie. I see you've been attending your play group like a good boy. Have you progressed on to The Wheels on the Bus yet? Big grin
She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.
 
MYT332
Posts: 7285
Joined: Mon Sep 08, 2003 7:31 pm

RE: Smart Oneliners

Tue Jun 28, 2005 9:38 pm

Quoting Banco (Reply 3):
Have you progressed on to The Wheels on the Bus yet?

Well if he hasn't then let's give Gkirk a head start in his class.



[Edited 2005-06-28 14:41:43]
One Life, Live it.
 
lazyshaun
Posts: 550
Joined: Sat May 07, 2005 5:50 am

RE: Smart Oneliners

Tue Jun 28, 2005 9:42 pm

I have a book called the book of useless information. Its is about 300 pages long and has all kinds of info like this. If I find it I will post some.
I came. I saw. I conquered
 
carmenlu15
Posts: 4517
Joined: Sat Dec 25, 2004 1:24 am

RE: Smart Oneliners

Wed Jun 29, 2005 2:41 am

Quoting HAWK21M (Thread starter):
It is impossible to lick your elbow.

You forgot to mention the fact that 70% of people will try to lick their elbows after reading this.

Trust me - got a similar e-mail once, forwarded it to the guy next to me, and got quite a laugh at his unsuccessful attempts to lick his elbow.  rotfl 
Don't expect to see me around that much (if at all) -- the contact link should still work, though.
 
KFLLCFII
Posts: 3185
Joined: Sat Sep 11, 2004 7:08 am

RE: Smart Oneliners

Wed Jun 29, 2005 3:00 am

Quoting HAWK21M (Thread starter):
Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.

Floccinaucinihilipilification...Antidisestablishmentarianism...I typed ALL of that with only my left hand! Big grin
"About the only way to look at it, just a pity you are not POTUS KFLLCFII, seems as if we would all be better off."
 
nzblue
Posts: 563
Joined: Wed Jun 02, 2004 12:44 pm

RE: Smart Oneliners

Wed Jun 29, 2005 3:02 am

Quoting HAWK21M (Thread starter):
The name of all the continents ends with the same letter that they start with.

North America
South America

hmm...doesn't seem like it to me, except for the AmericA part.

Great list, though!

NZblue
It's an entirely different kind of flying; all together.
 
Greyhound
Posts: 1012
Joined: Fri Mar 11, 2005 1:37 am

RE: Smart Oneliners

Wed Jun 29, 2005 3:04 am

Quoting KFLLCFII (Reply 7):
Floccinaucinihilipilification...Antidisestablishmentarianism...I typed ALL of that with only my left hand

Just don't tell us what you were doing with the right hand at the time.
29th, Let's Go!
 
KFLLCFII
Posts: 3185
Joined: Sat Sep 11, 2004 7:08 am

RE: Smart Oneliners

Wed Jun 29, 2005 3:35 am

Quoting Greyhound (Reply 9):
Just don't tell us what you were doing with the right hand at the time.

 Wink
"About the only way to look at it, just a pity you are not POTUS KFLLCFII, seems as if we would all be better off."
 
User avatar
HAWK21M
Topic Author
Posts: 29943
Joined: Fri Jan 05, 2001 10:05 pm

RE: Smart Oneliners

Wed Jun 29, 2005 10:40 pm

Quoting Carmenlu15 (Reply 6):
You forgot to mention the fact that 70% of people will try to lick their elbows after reading this.

 Smile
regds
MEL
I may not win often, but I damn well never lose!!! ;)
 
Fokker Lover
Posts: 523
Joined: Fri May 10, 2002 10:05 am

RE: Smart Oneliners

Wed Jun 29, 2005 10:55 pm

A lot of those are suspect, but the horse legs has absolutely no validity. That was just an urban legend that people started to believe.

I also type entire pages with just one finger, so that blows out the typing one also. My system is called "hunt and peck".
10,000 years ago we would have eaten you. Today, we drag you along and allow you to pollute the gene pool.
 
panam330
Posts: 1971
Joined: Sun Mar 14, 2004 11:58 am

RE: Smart Oneliners

Thu Jun 30, 2005 1:48 am

My friend can lick her elbow. So that's a crock of sh*t.
 
flyingbronco05
Posts: 3484
Joined: Fri May 10, 2002 11:43 am

RE: Smart Oneliners

Thu Jun 30, 2005 10:00 am

Quoting HAWK21M (Thread starter):
The name of all the continents ends with the same letter that they start with

Not true!

North America and South America!
Never Trust Your Fuel Gauge
 
diamond
Posts: 3000
Joined: Sun Apr 11, 2004 8:01 am

RE: Smart Oneliners

Thu Jun 30, 2005 10:13 am

Here are a few that a good friend shared with me:

=======================================================

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.

Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good.

Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.

Stupidity got us into this mess - why can't it get us out?

Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.

Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly and for the same reason.

An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true.

There is always death and taxes; however death doesn't get worse every year.

People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them that Benjamin Franklin said it first.

It's easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.

I don't mind going nowhere as long as it's an interesting path.

Anything free is worth what you pay for it.

Indecision is the key to flexibility.

It hurts to be on the cutting edge.

If it ain't broke, fix it till it is.

I don't get even, I get odder.

In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.

I always wanted to be a procrastinator, never got around to it.

Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.

I am a nutritional overachiever.

My inferiority complex is not as good as yours.

I am having an out of money experience.

I plan on living forever. So far, so good.

I am in shape. Round is a shape.

Not afraid of heights - afraid of widths.

Practice safe eating - always use condiments.

A day without sunshine is like night.

I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.

If marriage were outlawed, only outlaws would have in-laws.

I am not a perfectionist. My parents were though.

Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hair stylist you like.

You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.

One of life's mysteries is how a two pound box of candy can make a woman gain five pounds.

It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

Time may be a great healer, but it's also a lousy beautician.

Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

Age doesn't always bring wisdom, sometimes age comes alone.

Life not only begins at forty, it begins to show.

You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stopped laughing.
Blank.
 
sprout5199
Posts: 1681
Joined: Sat Feb 26, 2005 8:26 am

RE: Smart Oneliners

Thu Jun 30, 2005 10:34 am

Everything everybody ever does is in order to get laid


Dan in Jupiter
 
Springbok747
Posts: 4007
Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2004 9:13 am

RE: Smart Oneliners

Thu Jun 30, 2005 11:12 am

Coca-Cola was originally green.

Um..no.
http://www.snopes.com/cokelore/green.asp

The most common name in the world is Mohammed.

No..The world's most common surname (not surprisingly, considering the numbers) is Chang or Zhang.
http://ask.yahoo.com/ask/20031126.html

The name of all the continents ends with the same letter that they start with.

No.
North America
South America
Oceania

Unless of course you consider just "America" and not say "Oceania".

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

Not entirely true:

The unexplained statement that "the tongue is the strongest muscle in the body" appears frequently in lists of surprising facts, but it is difficult to find any definition of "strength" that would make this statement true. Note that technically the tongue consists of sixteen muscles, not one. The tongue may possibly be the strongest muscle at birth.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muscles#The_strongest_human_muscle

People say "Bless you" when you sneeze because when you sneeze, your heart stops for a millisecond.

No.

Most of the other rumors about sneezing are not true: your heart does not stop when you sneeze, and with great effort you could probably keep your eyes open during a sneeze. While the tradition of saying "Bless you" or "Gesundheit" (meaning "health" in German), or some variation on this theme, apparently originated from superstitions that sneezing was a sign of approaching danger or even death, most people who sneeze have an excellent prognosis!

http://www.intelihealth.com/IH/ihtIH.../379001.html?d=dmtHMSContent#myths

If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die.

No.

http://www.intelihealth.com/IH/ihtIH.../35323/379001.html?d=dmtHMSContent

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents great king from history.

Spades - King David
Clubs - Alexander the Great,
Hearts - Charlemagne
Diamonds - Julius Caesar.


No. http://www.snopes.com/history/world/cardking.htm

If a statue of a person in the park on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle.

If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle.

If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.


No. http://www.snopes.com/military/statue.htm

What do bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers all have in common?

Ans. - All were invented by women.


No. The Laser Printer was invented by a man actually.....Gary Starkweather
http://www.crn.com/sections/special/...rticleId=18838549&_requestid=20107

All polar bears are left handed.

No. Another recurrent myth is that the great white bears are left-pawed. Scientists observing the animals haven't noticed a preference. In fact, polar bears seem to use their right and left paws equally.

http://www.polarbearsalive.org/facts11.php

Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.

False, elephants CAN jump.
http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/melepha2.html


The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.

Must be false. How the hell can anyone actually prove that?!

Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.

No. Who came up with that number (700 times?!) anyway?

Nice list though, but too bad most of them are false.
אני תומך בישראל
 
ArmitageShanks
Posts: 3766
Joined: Tue Dec 30, 2003 5:30 am

RE: Smart Oneliners

Thu Jun 30, 2005 12:30 pm

Damn springbok747, can't you let us be ignorant and happy!!! haha
 
ANITIX87
Posts: 2960
Joined: Mon Mar 07, 2005 4:52 am

RE: Smart Oneliners

Fri Jul 01, 2005 4:29 am

Haha, I love these...

If Superman can dodge bullets, why does he duck whenever a punch is thrown at him?

If a cat always lands on its feet, and buttered bread always lands butter-side-down, what happend if you tie buttered bread to a cat's back?

TIS
www.stellaryear.com: Canon EOS 50D, Canon EOS 5DMkII, Sigma 50mm 1.4, Canon 24-70 2.8L II, Canon 100mm 2.8L, Canon 100-4
 
lazyshaun
Posts: 550
Joined: Sat May 07, 2005 5:50 am

RE: Smart Oneliners

Fri Jul 01, 2005 4:48 am

Saying it is impossible to lick your elbow is plain stupid! You could cut your arm of at the shoulder, endure an almost unbearable amount of pain for a long period of time, then pick your chopped off arm up with the one remaining attached arm, and lick your elbow.

Impossible? No. Unless anybody has actually tried to do this and found there is an invisible force field that disables you to perform such an act?!

The correct sentence should be: It is incredibly difficult and pointless licking ones elbow.
I came. I saw. I conquered
 
ORFflyer
Posts: 3142
Joined: Sat Apr 09, 2005 2:42 am

RE: Smart Oneliners

Fri Jul 01, 2005 11:37 pm

Quoting Sprout5199 (Reply 16):
The name of all the continents ends with the same letter that they start with.

No.
North America
South America
Oceania

I didn't know there is a continent named Oceania.
 
Fokker Lover
Posts: 523
Joined: Fri May 10, 2002 10:05 am

RE: Smart Oneliners

Sat Jul 02, 2005 3:34 am

Quoting ORFflyer (Reply 21):
I didn't know there is a continent named Oceania

I'm with you on that one. The first time I ever heard that term was on here a few months ago. Maybe we should start another thread to discuss it some more. Because if we as a world population can't agree on how many Continents there are, and what their names are, we will never agree on the important things like war or politics.

I've been out of school for over 20 years, but I don't believe todays American schools are teaching that way either.
As far as I know 2+2 still equals 4. If that has been changed too, please let me know.
This is what I was taught
Asia
Africa
Antarctica
Australia
Europe
North America
South America
As I said, If we can't agree on a verifiable fact like that, we cannot agree on anything of importance.

What is the rest of the world being taught?
10,000 years ago we would have eaten you. Today, we drag you along and allow you to pollute the gene pool.
 
carmenlu15
Posts: 4517
Joined: Sat Dec 25, 2004 1:24 am

RE: Smart Oneliners

Sat Jul 02, 2005 4:26 am

Quoting Fokker Lover (Reply 22):
What is the rest of the world being taught?

I was taught 5 continents:
Europe
Asia
Africa
America (North, Central and South as part of the same continent)
Oceania (Australia and the surrounding islands)

Interesting, huh?  scratchchin 
Don't expect to see me around that much (if at all) -- the contact link should still work, though.
 
Fokker Lover
Posts: 523
Joined: Fri May 10, 2002 10:05 am

RE: Smart Oneliners

Sat Jul 02, 2005 4:41 am

Australia and the surrounding islands together? How can an island be considered part of the Continent? It's not attached to anything. Hell, Central America is attached to both North and South Americas, but we don't consider it part of the actual Continent because it's so small.
My definition of a Continent would be an incredibly huge land mass. So huge, that only seven exist. It seems that some Countries have broken it down to five. I'm open for more discussion, but I would never consider New Zealand part of a Continent. Even though it does sit on the Australian Continental Shelf.
10,000 years ago we would have eaten you. Today, we drag you along and allow you to pollute the gene pool.
 
trident3
Posts: 989
Joined: Sun Jun 17, 2001 7:10 am

RE: Smart Oneliners

Sat Jul 02, 2005 4:46 am

How does Spiderman get out of the bath?
"We are the warrior race-Tough men in the toughest sport." Brian Noble, Head Coach, Great Britain Rugby League.
 
carmenlu15
Posts: 4517
Joined: Sat Dec 25, 2004 1:24 am

RE: Smart Oneliners

Sat Jul 02, 2005 5:14 am

Quoting Fokker Lover (Reply 24):
Australia and the surrounding islands together? How can an island be considered part of the Continent? It's not attached to anything.

To tell you the truth, I don't know. I guess it's the same way the Caribbean Islands are considered a part of the American Continent. Or at least that's what I learned in school... And I was not the only one, as you can see in this thread. Now, which way is the right way?  confused 

Quoting Fokker Lover (Reply 24):
Hell, Central America is attached to both North and South Americas, but we don't consider it part of the actual Continent because it's so small.

So where does that leave us? In the middle of nowhere?  Silly
Don't expect to see me around that much (if at all) -- the contact link should still work, though.
 
trident3
Posts: 989
Joined: Sun Jun 17, 2001 7:10 am

RE: Smart Oneliners

Sat Jul 02, 2005 5:21 am

Continents:
Europe
America
Africa
Asia
Australasia
Antartica
"We are the warrior race-Tough men in the toughest sport." Brian Noble, Head Coach, Great Britain Rugby League.
 
dvk
Posts: 1017
Joined: Thu Jun 29, 2000 12:18 am

RE: Smart Oneliners

Sat Jul 02, 2005 5:35 am

If North America and South America are considered to be a single continent, it makes absolutely no sense for Asia and Europe to be considered separate continents. The Americas are joined only by the tiny isthmus of Panama, while Europe and Asia have no significant separation between the land masses.
I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Majestic-12 [Bot], rlwynn, tz757300 and 26 guests

Popular Searches On Airliners.net

Top Photos of Last:   24 Hours  •  48 Hours  •  7 Days  •  30 Days  •  180 Days  •  365 Days  •  All Time

Military Aircraft Every type from fighters to helicopters from air forces around the globe

Classic Airliners Props and jets from the good old days

Flight Decks Views from inside the cockpit

Aircraft Cabins Passenger cabin shots showing seat arrangements as well as cargo aircraft interior

Cargo Aircraft Pictures of great freighter aircraft

Government Aircraft Aircraft flying government officials

Helicopters Our large helicopter section. Both military and civil versions

Blimps / Airships Everything from the Goodyear blimp to the Zeppelin

Night Photos Beautiful shots taken while the sun is below the horizon

Accidents Accident, incident and crash related photos

Air to Air Photos taken by airborne photographers of airborne aircraft

Special Paint Schemes Aircraft painted in beautiful and original liveries

Airport Overviews Airport overviews from the air or ground

Tails and Winglets Tail and Winglet closeups with beautiful airline logos