aloges
Posts: 14842
Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2006 3:38 am

For All George Carlin Fans (Beware Of Language)

Tue Jul 12, 2005 9:01 am

warning: possibly offensive language ahead, including quotes not necessarily marked as such










So how's everybody doing tonight? Good? Well, fuck you!

I have a few questions for all of you Carlin geeks, maybe we can have some fun firing Qs&As like our favourite comedian fires insults at everyone. So here we go, based on "Jammin' in New York":

1. What is the US good at, except war?
2. Which non-brown country tried to do the US's job in the world and got bombed for it?
3. What is war to George Carlin?
4. How does the ruling class operate in any society?
5. What's the name of the song you really want the wife to believe it exists?
6. Can you sneeze while you're taking a piss?
7. Which state is expecting a rain event?
8. In which part of the airplane should a six-foot infant with an oversized head travel?
9. Why does Carlin want to get in the plane, as opposed to on it? Who should get on it?
10. Which one is his favourite part of the airplane ride?
11. What drink should you have before calling the police?
12. What do you need to float around the North Atlantic for several days?
13. What might Carlin have brought on board?
14. Where does he fly?
15. Is "terminal snackbar" an appropriate name?
16. How is Beverly Hills' new restaurant for bulimia victims called? What was the alternative name?
17. How could the homeless easily make it in the US?
18. What do working people not mind near them and why?
19. How exciting can watching golf on TV be?
20. Why does Carlin watch auto racing?
21. What does he do about water that sucks?
22. What did the Earth need us for?
23. What does the big electron do?

So, how many can you find out? And yes, I know I'm a hopeless case.  Wink
And please do post more questions!
Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.
 
VH-KCT*
Posts: 435
Joined: Fri May 04, 2001 4:01 pm

RE: For All George Carlin Fans (Beware Of Language)

Tue Jul 12, 2005 9:13 am

And a few more (not necessarily from Jammin' in New York)...

24. Carlin can't understand why they use the word flightdeck instead of...
25. Whoever coined the phrase let the buyer beware was probably bleeding from...
26. Carlin decides to ride in the plane with folks in...
27. What's his plan to evacuate the aircraft incase of an accident?
28. A certain gentleman is described as wearing a Grateful Dead T-shirt and a ... hat.
29. "I walk like this all the time, it's the ... stage of ..."
30. Carlin notes that mice have no...  Smile
I am The Stig
 
komododx
Posts: 1734
Joined: Tue Jan 27, 2004 4:40 am

RE: For All George Carlin Fans (Beware Of Language)

Tue Jul 12, 2005 9:16 am

1. Nothing
2. Germany
3. Prick waving
4.
5. I wonder if she likes me... (or something like that)
6. Impossible
7. Louisiana
8. Undercarriage
9. He doesn't want to get on, like Evil Knivel
10. Safety lecture
11.
12. Your seat cushion... filled with beer farts!
13. His arrow head collection
14. Where does he fly?
15. No!
16. The empty platter...

Too lazy to do the rest. But I like this thread!

Stefano  wave 
I'm homeless and unemployed
 
aloges
Posts: 14842
Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2006 3:38 am

RE: For All George Carlin Fans (Beware Of Language)

Tue Jul 12, 2005 9:18 am

Quoting VH-KCT* (Reply 1):

Shoot, I am addicted! I knew all answers instantly, except no. 30!  rotfl 
Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.
 
aloges
Posts: 14842
Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2006 3:38 am

RE: For All George Carlin Fans (Beware Of Language)

Tue Jul 12, 2005 9:20 am

Quoting Komododx (Reply 2):
5. I wonder if she likes me... (or something like that)
8. Undercarriage
14. Where does he fly?
15. No!
16. The empty platter...

These weren't (entirely) correct.  Wink
Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.
 
N1120A
Posts: 26467
Joined: Sun Dec 14, 2003 5:40 pm

RE: For All George Carlin Fans (Beware Of Language)

Tue Jul 12, 2005 11:29 am

Quoting Komododx (Reply 2):
But I like this thread!

How can you? Carlin is the antithesis of you
Mangeons les French fries, mais surtout pratiquons avec fierte le French kiss
 
Logan22L
Posts: 4464
Joined: Fri Jul 16, 2004 5:59 am

RE: For All George Carlin Fans (Beware Of Language)

Tue Jul 12, 2005 11:36 am

Don't ban me Mods; just quoting the great George Carlin:

Sh*t, p*ss, f*ck, c*nt, c*cks*cker, motherf*cker, t*ts.

http://www.erenkrantz.com/Humor/SevenDirtyWords.shtml

I agree with GC: t*ts doesn't even belong on the list.

Cheers,

Logan
"The deeper you go, the higher you fly. The higher you fly, the deeper you go."
 
komododx
Posts: 1734
Joined: Tue Jan 27, 2004 4:40 am

RE: For All George Carlin Fans (Beware Of Language)

Tue Jul 12, 2005 11:42 am

Quoting N1120A (Reply 5):
How can you? Carlin is the antithesis of you

Maybe you should read my other post... about 100 more times! Did you even get the point? I'm tired of the hypocrisy. I never said I hated Muslims.

Stefano  wave 
I'm homeless and unemployed
 
ANCFlyer
Posts: 21391
Joined: Mon Nov 15, 2004 3:51 pm

RE: For All George Carlin Fans (Beware Of Language)

Tue Jul 12, 2005 11:46 am

Quoting Aloges (Thread starter):
12. What do you need to float around the North Atlantic for several days?

Seat Cushion - full of beer farts!  laughing 

Quoting Aloges (Thread starter):
13. What might Carlin have brought on board?

Fountain from the Park  crazy  "My Arrowhead Collection"  crazy  Pick one.

Quoting Aloges (Thread starter):
21. What does he do about water that sucks?

Drinks it.  yuck 

Quoting Aloges (Thread starter):
6. Can you sneeze while you're taking a piss?

Nope!  no 

Quoting Aloges (Thread starter):
9. Why does Carlin want to get in the plane, as opposed to on it? Who should get on it?

Less Wind in there and Evil Knevil  wideeyed 

Quoting VH-KCT* (Reply 1):
24. Carlin can't understand why they use the word flightdeck instead of...

Cockpit . . .  spit 

Quoting VH-KCT* (Reply 1):
26. Carlin decides to ride in the plane with folks in...

Uniform  whiteflag 

Another Question: Why do we all need houses?
And Another: What does Carlin think about Non-Stop Plane Flights?
And Again: Uniformed Crew Members as opposed to what?

Enough for now - I laffin to damn hard!

Great thread by the by!
FOR THOSE THAT FOUGHT FOR IT, FREEDOM HAS A FLAVOR THE PROTECTED WILL NEVER KNOW OR UNDERSTAND
 
VH-KCT*
Posts: 435
Joined: Fri May 04, 2001 4:01 pm

RE: For All George Carlin Fans (Beware Of Language)

Tue Jul 12, 2005 1:08 pm

Quoting ANCFlyer (Reply 8):
What does Carlin think about Non-Stop Plane Flights?

He doesn't care for them at all. He rathers that they stop... preferably at an airport! It's those sudden unscheduled stops in fields and housing estates that really interrupt the flow of his day! Big grin
I am The Stig
 
baylorairbear
Posts: 2841
Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2005 5:25 am

RE: For All George Carlin Fans (Beware Of Language)

Tue Jul 12, 2005 1:16 pm

Quoting Logan22L (Reply 6):
agree with GC: t*ts doesn't even belong on the list.

New Nabisco tits. Sugar tits, and pizza tits, and tater tits.

BaylorAirBear

edit: I saw him recently in Bass Hall in Ft. Worth. Great to see him in person.

[Edited 2005-07-12 06:18:28]
I'm just skipping stones...
 
cfalk
Posts: 10221
Joined: Mon Dec 04, 2000 6:38 pm

RE: For All George Carlin Fans (Beware Of Language)

Tue Jul 12, 2005 2:48 pm

Carlin was so funny in the 60's, 70's and early 80's. His whole act changed around 1990, though, I guess in response to all the new "shock" comics, and he just turned into this enraged nut, far too political in my opinion. He acts like he's furious at everything. Even Sam Kenison did not get you wired up like that.

And as far as his political opinions go, if I want politics, I'll read the paper or watch the local public access channel. I don't go to a comedian.

He was a lot funnier before.

Charles
The only thing you should feel when shooting a terrorist: Recoil.
 
aloges
Posts: 14842
Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2006 3:38 am

RE: For All George Carlin Fans (Beware Of Language)

Wed Jul 13, 2005 7:47 am

Quoting VH-KCT* (Reply 1):
24. Carlin can't understand why they use the word flightdeck instead of...

COCKPIT! Especially with all those stewardesses going in and out of there all the time!

Quoting VH-KCT* (Reply 1):
25. Whoever coined the phrase let the buyer beware was probably bleeding from...

the ass!

Quoting VH-KCT* (Reply 1):
26. Carlin decides to ride in the plane with folks in...

uniform.

Quoting VH-KCT* (Reply 1):
27. What's his plan to evacuate the aircraft incase of an accident?

He'll go around the fat fuck, step on the widow's head, push those children out of the way, knock down the paralysed midget and get out of the plane where he can help others.

Quoting VH-KCT* (Reply 1):
28. A certain gentleman is described as wearing a Grateful Dead T-shirt and a ... hat.

It's a "Fuck You" hat.

Quoting VH-KCT* (Reply 1):
29. "I walk like this all the time, it's the ... stage of ..."

It's the third stage of syphilis!

Quoting VH-KCT* (Reply 1):
30. Carlin notes that mice have no...

shoulders at all. I had to Google this one, though.
Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.
 
monteycarlos
Posts: 2018
Joined: Sun Mar 20, 2005 5:16 pm

RE: For All George Carlin Fans (Beware Of Language)

Thu Jul 14, 2005 9:13 pm

Quoting VH-KCT* (Reply 1):
And a few more (not necessarily from Jammin' in New York)...

24. Carlin can't understand why they use the word flightdeck instead of...
25. Whoever coined the phrase let the buyer beware was probably bleeding from...
26. Carlin decides to ride in the plane with folks in...
27. What's his plan to evacuate the aircraft incase of an accident?
28. A certain gentleman is described as wearing a Grateful Dead T-shirt and a ... hat.
29. "I walk like this all the time, it's the ... stage of ..."
30. Carlin notes that mice have no...

24. Cockpit... I don't understand why they wouldn't use such a lovely word as COCKpit...

25. Ass!

27. By bypassing the widow and standing on the kids?

28. But who is going to return him to his original and upright position... I found the part about the stewardess asking passengers to look for things they "may" have brought on board... that was funny.

29. Third stage of syphillus... hmmm?

30. No shoulders, of course not, its a mouse... the necklace would fall down to its waist and the mouse would wear it as a belt, but what does it know... its a f**king mouse!
It's a beautiful night to fly like a phoenix...

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