Blackhawk144
Topic Author
Posts: 769
Joined: Fri Aug 20, 2004 6:20 am

Opinions On A Song I Wrote...

Wed Jul 27, 2005 6:10 am

Hello,

I was wondering if I could have 1 minute and 26 seconds of your time with a song I wrote, and designed using the godly music maker FLStudio 5 (www.flstudio.com).

http://s52.yousendit.com/d.php?id=2UFY8LAQ6280O34XKURN9KRWGC

Just click Download Now. Thanks to lfutia for finding a place to host my song  Smile. The pupose is for a business-like song that could be used in a long commercial or something like that.

Anthony
Time is the best of all teachers. Unfortunately, it kills all of its students!
 
flyAUA
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RE: Opinions On A Song I Wrote...

Wed Jul 27, 2005 6:21 am

Quoting Blackhawk144 (Thread starter):

Good work, but it's missing something. I would introduce a baseline after the 8th or 16th beat. It sounds not lively enough without that. I know you are trying to get a buildup, but there are also other ways of achieving that.
Not drinking, also isn't a solution!
 
LFutia
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RE: Opinions On A Song I Wrote...

Wed Jul 27, 2005 6:59 am

hey m8! nice song.. i told you my comments earlier.. and it wasn't a prob finding a spot to host it. the link will expire in 1 week.
Leo/ORD -- Groetjes uit de VS! -- Heeft u laatst nog met KLM gevlogen?
 
kilavoud
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Joined: Sun Sep 07, 2003 7:47 pm

RE: Opinions On A Song I Wrote...

Wed Jul 27, 2005 7:31 am

Nice, but it looks just like an introduction to a longer song, which we still are waiting for. Try to add a continuation according to your own imagination.

Cheers. Kilavoud.
 
jacobin777
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RE: Opinions On A Song I Wrote...

Wed Jul 27, 2005 8:59 am

Quoting FlyAUA (Reply 1):
Good work, but it's missing something. I would introduce a baseline after the 8th or 16th beat. It sounds not lively enough without that. I know you are trying to get a buildup, but there are also other ways of achieving that.

Nice song, but I do agree with FlyAUA (whoohooo..thats the 2nd time we agree)...

the song left me a little bit "hanging for more"..it thought there would be something else to drive the song....little more "oomph" somewhere..

but other than that..I liked it quite a bit.... Smile
"Up the Irons!"
 
CanadianNorth
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RE: Opinions On A Song I Wrote...

Wed Jul 27, 2005 9:57 am

Quoting FlyAUA (Reply 1):
I would introduce a baseline after the 8th or 16th beat.

I'll agree with that. Sounds good but it sounds like its building up to something but theres not really anything that its building up to.



CanadianNorth
What could possibly go wrong?
 
flyAUA
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RE: Opinions On A Song I Wrote...

Wed Jul 27, 2005 4:09 pm

Quoting Jacobin777 (Reply 4):
Nice song, but I do agree with FlyAUA (whoohooo..thats the 2nd time we agree)...

3rd time  Wink
Not drinking, also isn't a solution!
 
KLM685
Posts: 1506
Joined: Sat May 21, 2005 12:41 pm

RE: Opinions On A Song I Wrote...

Wed Jul 27, 2005 4:26 pm

I don't know about writting a song or anything but sounds nice I guess.

Very House I must say  Wink
KLM- The Best Airline in the World!
 
Blackhawk144
Topic Author
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RE: Opinions On A Song I Wrote...

Thu Jul 28, 2005 4:25 am

Ahh, thanks for the comments guys...I'll change it up a bit and perhaps reply with a longer better version of this song in a couple of days.

Anthony
Time is the best of all teachers. Unfortunately, it kills all of its students!
 
KLM685
Posts: 1506
Joined: Sat May 21, 2005 12:41 pm

RE: Opinions On A Song I Wrote...

Thu Jul 28, 2005 4:44 am

Quoting Blackhawk144 (Reply 8):
Ahh, thanks for the comments guys...I'll change it up a bit and perhaps reply with a longer better version of this song in a couple of days.

Well if it helps you're going in the right direction dude. Just need to be a little bit fixed. But when you get famous please invite me to your concerts
KLM- The Best Airline in the World!
 
baylorairbear
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RE: Opinions On A Song I Wrote...

Thu Jul 28, 2005 5:00 am

Good work. Maybe bring in the percussion earlier. I dig it.

BaylorAirBear
I'm just skipping stones...
 
PMN
Posts: 547
Joined: Sun Mar 06, 2005 7:44 am

RE: Opinions On A Song I Wrote...

Thu Jul 28, 2005 5:30 am

Quoting FlyAUA (Reply 1):
I would introduce a baseline after the 8th or 16th beat.

Definately. It has space which is good, but there's no real low end depth in there, making it (to my ears at least) sound not quite as full as it could. You have the piano playing C to C octaves towards the end, you could maybe try doing the same with a bass line playing 16th's. It doesn't need to be too prominant in the mix, just enough to be there.

Also consider a key change somewhere to keep people's attention. If you stay on the C you'll have to come up with some pretty radical rhythmic or tonal changes to keep people's ears tuned into it!

You're definately on the right lines though. Whatever you do try and maintain that space you've created, and be aware that every sound you add needs it's own breathing space. Sometimes you can put lots of instruments in the same range and create some really interesting tonal textures, but it can quickly start sounding messy as well! It's a fine line, but experimenting is always good! You obviously have a pretty good idea of what sounds right or wrong, which is rare in itself.


Happy Playing!
Paul
Edith in his bed, a plane in the rain is humming, the wires in the walls are humming some song - some mysterious song
 
Blackhawk144
Topic Author
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RE: Opinions On A Song I Wrote...

Sat Jul 30, 2005 6:49 am

Hey, I don't have time to get the song onto a hosting site right now, but I'll get it posted on Monday...I will tell you that it's turned out much better than I had planned it. I fixed all of the changes you've all suggested, such as making it longer, and making what used to be the song into an intro...plus I've added a bassline. I think you guys will like it!

Anthony
Time is the best of all teachers. Unfortunately, it kills all of its students!
 
trekster
Posts: 4319
Joined: Fri Dec 26, 2003 2:47 am

RE: Opinions On A Song I Wrote...

Sat Jul 30, 2005 6:56 am

Great tune, needed a bit more, but i see u already done that.

Look forward to the new tune
Where does the time go???
 
LFutia
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RE: Opinions On A Song I Wrote...

Sat Jul 30, 2005 7:08 am

goedemiddag Anthony and everyone.

I uploaded the new song for anthony and since im here, im able to post the new link.

alstublieft.

http://s41.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=1QGQ2RYDOBC2X1VQGVJPFLPG8B
Leo/ORD -- Groetjes uit de VS! -- Heeft u laatst nog met KLM gevlogen?
 
Blackhawk144
Topic Author
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RE: Opinions On A Song I Wrote...

Tue Aug 02, 2005 5:26 am

LFutia, thanks for posting the link! I hope you guys enjoy my latest version!

Anthony
Time is the best of all teachers. Unfortunately, it kills all of its students!
 
jamesbuk
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RE: Opinions On A Song I Wrote...

Tue Aug 02, 2005 6:30 am

WOW the seond is what i call a good song it just left you there waiting for more and then a 1:29 the big extra bass really changed how it sound and with the constant piano. really good  bigthumbsup 
You cant have your cake and eat it... What the hells the point in having it then!!!
 
skysurfer
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RE: Opinions On A Song I Wrote...

Tue Aug 02, 2005 7:03 am

It's good, i'll give ya that much! But i can't help thinking that if it had a rhythm guitar kick in in the 1st 30 seconds or so it'd be awesome, but what can i say, i love guitars!!! Keep it up!!!!

Cheers

[Edited 2005-08-02 00:20:50]
In the dark you can't see ugly, but you can feel fat
 
captaingomes
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RE: Opinions On A Song I Wrote...

Tue Aug 02, 2005 7:16 am

That's really good! It's also nice to see in non-aviation somebody asking for an opinion and getting positive, constructive criticism. Keep it up if you truly enjoy playing around with music.
"it's kind of like an Airbus, it's an engineering marvel, but there's no sense of passion" -- J. Clarkson re: Coxster
 
Blackhawk144
Topic Author
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RE: Opinions On A Song I Wrote...

Tue Aug 02, 2005 12:58 pm

Hey thanks!

I actually in the long run wasn't expecting so much criticism, good or bad! I'm happy you guys enjoyed the 2nd version!

Anthony
Time is the best of all teachers. Unfortunately, it kills all of its students!
 
PMN
Posts: 547
Joined: Sun Mar 06, 2005 7:44 am

RE: Opinions On A Song I Wrote...

Tue Aug 02, 2005 8:27 pm

Yup...That works!

Nice one Blackhawk144! Stick at it, there arn't many better ways to spend time than making music, and from a good start it can only get better!

Paul
Edith in his bed, a plane in the rain is humming, the wires in the walls are humming some song - some mysterious song
 
Blackhawk144
Topic Author
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RE: Opinions On A Song I Wrote...

Wed Aug 03, 2005 3:13 am

Quoting PMN (Reply 20):
Nice one Blackhawk144! Stick at it, there arn't many better ways to spend time than making music, and from a good start it can only get better!

I've actually been doing this for 5 years now, but thank you very much anyway  Smile. The reason I posted this on FLStudio was because I was curious of the replies I would get here...normally I would post it on the FL Forums.

Anthony
Time is the best of all teachers. Unfortunately, it kills all of its students!

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