UTA_flyinghigh
Topic Author
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When The Thingy Is, Ermmm, Too Small :-)

Tue Aug 16, 2005 3:00 pm

Hello all,

One of my very good female friends is in a (rather small) predicament;
she has been flirting around for a couple of days with a boy she's very fond of and vice versa.

The gentleman in question is indeed polite, well-educated, relatively smart and quite nice to women and he also fancies my friend quite a lot.

The only thing is that he is not very well endowed, which is quite facheux as she requires something of bigger dimensions.

Now she is at a loss about what to do, e.g :
a) Dump him as he obviously shall (...) not be able to pleasure her
b) Stay with him and occasionnaly get jumped by someone else
c) Settle for a couple of years of boring bedtime stories

Any advice for the fraulein ?

UTA   

Edit : Rhaa, typo.

[Edited 2005-08-16 08:28:04]
Fly to live, live to fly - Air France/KLM Flying Blue Platinum, BMI Diamond Club Gold, Emirates Skywards
 
FlyingTexan
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RE: When The Thingy Is, Ermmm, Too Small :-)

Tue Aug 16, 2005 3:04 pm

Have him buy her a toy.

And extra batteries.


 Wink
"Wouldn't your boss like to fly home nonstop at 4:30 on a Friday afternoon?" -Airline Exec to Congressional Staffer
 
AR1300
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RE: When The Thingy Is, Ermmm, Too Small :-)

Tue Aug 16, 2005 3:07 pm

Wasn't that the size didn't matter??? C'mon UTA, just advise him from your own experiences! Big grin  Wink  duck 

Mike
You are now free to move about the cabin
 
airways1
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RE: When The Thingy Is, Ermmm, Too Small :-)

Tue Aug 16, 2005 3:10 pm

Shouldn't you have worked that out before tieing the knot?
 
Andreas
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RE: When The Thingy Is, Ermmm, Too Small :-)

Tue Aug 16, 2005 3:15 pm

Quoting UTA_flyinghigh (Thread starter):
she requires something of bigger dimensions.

How would you know??? Did she complain to you?? Makes one believe that you,too...erm...well you know...  Wink

Oh and that crap about size not mattering ...*LOLOL*...that one urban legend was invented by a virtually dickless guy to make himself feel better...don't believe a word!!  Wink Big grin
I know it's only VfB but I like it!
 
USAFHummer
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RE: When The Thingy Is, Ermmm, Too Small :-)

Tue Aug 16, 2005 3:19 pm

Quoting Airways1 (Reply 5):
Shouldn't you have worked that out before tieing the knot?

*Paging KROC and the KO picture*

Greg
Chief A.net college football stadium self-pic guru
 
UTA_flyinghigh
Topic Author
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RE: When The Thingy Is, Ermmm, Too Small :-)

Tue Aug 16, 2005 3:24 pm

Quoting FlyingTexan (Reply 1):
Have him buy her a toy.

And extra batteries.

She already owns such an occurrence and indeed she is running its batteries dry in the last days  Wink

Quoting Airways1 (Reply 5):
Shouldn't you have worked that out before tieing the knot?

LOL ! I'm happy to say I'm not in her bf's predicament  Silly

Quoting Andreas (Reply 6):
How would you know??? Did she complain to you??

She indeed spent about 3 hours last night complaining about it, thus I told her I would post a thread about the occurrence in the non-av forum (her guy couldn't care less about aircraft so it's higly unlikely he'll be reading this  Smile )

UTA  checkeredflag 
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Lt-AWACS
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RE: When The Thingy Is, Ermmm, Too Small :-)

Tue Aug 16, 2005 3:24 pm

learn to use your tongue real fast.... lol

Ciao, and Hook 'em Horns,
Capt-AWACS, Rome- Over 2000 years of indoor plumbing
Io voglio fica ogni giorni da mia bella moglie!
 
bigphilnyc
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RE: When The Thingy Is, Ermmm, Too Small :-)

Tue Aug 16, 2005 3:44 pm

It's funny how you're so concerned about your female friend's boyfriend's penis size that you're looking for advice about it for her on an off-topic forum of an aviation website.

If this doesn't have shadiness written all over it, I don't know what does.

Therefore:

Phil Derner Jr.
 
satx
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RE: When The Thingy Is, Ermmm, Too Small :-)

Tue Aug 16, 2005 4:02 pm

This is probably the first and last time I'll ever agree with BigPhilNYC, but there you go. This whole post sounds like pure bullshit. Maybe you fantasize about small things? I dunno. I can't figure you out. Maybe some other poster knows why you bring this stuff up.
Open Season on Consumer Protections is Just Around the Corner...
 
KyleLosAngeles
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RE: When The Thingy Is, Ermmm, Too Small :-)

Tue Aug 16, 2005 4:04 pm

Quoting BigPhilNYC (Reply 10):
It's funny how you're so concerned about your female friend's boyfriend's penis size that you're looking for advice about it for her on an off-topic forum of an aviation website.

If this doesn't have shadiness written all over it, I don't know what does.

Phil, Take your left hand off your muscle magazine and your right hand off your own d**k, and take a look at UTA's wedding pictures just posted yesterday.

What's really 'funny' is how you've been trolling around the non-av forum for the last couple of weeks with constant negative comments and pissing on every thread you touch.

Those testosterone patches are to be used according to directioins, or they'll lead to serious attitude problems. And I mean that in the nicest possible way.
Happy 2006
 
bigphilnyc
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RE: When The Thingy Is, Ermmm, Too Small :-)

Tue Aug 16, 2005 4:59 pm

Wow, I'm surprised it took this long for someone to cry.

No one should be taking me so seriously. I mean no offense to UTA.

Kyle, you call it trolling, because no on else in here makes cracks on other people *cough*. Except I enjoy pictures and maybe am a little more blunt.

If you can't realize that and take a joke, then I really don't care, that's your problem.

In addition, I think for every joke post I make, I actually contribute by posting other opinion threads and topics that create fun and educational conversation. The ab thread (which you also posted advice in), the tolerance one, and other debate topics.

I don't know where I got this reputation for reading muscle mags, but that's really cute. You're the one that "directs a fitness corporation". You're accusing me of having the testosterone-induced attitude problem, but look who's the one displaying roid rage in the form of a conniption fit.

Feel free to learn something about me before trying to make a dig. It helps make it funnier. I'm an open book, all you have to do is ask.  

I'd make a joke about why Kyle is taking it so seriously and imply that he is the man in question, but I fear his head might explode or he'll drive off a cliff.

Kyle, I'll be in LA in October. You should come out to spot with my buddies if you want. Unless you want to dwell and get upset over message board posts. Up to you. I'll also need a workout partner for my visit. We can swap juice. :-p

With my right hand on my d**k,

-Phil

[Edited 2005-08-16 10:00:58]
Phil Derner Jr.
 
KyleLosAngeles
Posts: 206
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RE: When The Thingy Is, Ermmm, Too Small :-)

Tue Aug 16, 2005 5:07 pm

Quoting BigPhilNYC (Reply 11):
Kyle, I'll be in LA in October. You should come out to spot with my buddies if you want. Unless you want to dwell and get upset over message board posts. Up to you. I'll also need a workout partner for my visit. We can swap juice. :-p

With my right hand on my d**k,

Yeah.

Marking that on my calendar right now.

Have your people call my people.  Smile
Happy 2006
 
flyAUA
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RE: When The Thingy Is, Ermmm, Too Small :-)

Tue Aug 16, 2005 5:08 pm

Quoting BigPhilNYC (Reply 11):
We can swap juice. :-p

With my right hand on my d**k,

 eyepopping 

Edit before anyone sees this Big grin  Wink
Not drinking, also isn't a solution!
 
bigphilnyc
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RE: When The Thingy Is, Ermmm, Too Small :-)

Tue Aug 16, 2005 5:10 pm

I'll make sure I tkae my hand off of it before we "swap juice". HAHAHAHAH

I walked right into that one. lol
Phil Derner Jr.
 
UTA_flyinghigh
Topic Author
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RE: When The Thingy Is, Ermmm, Too Small :-)

Tue Aug 16, 2005 5:19 pm

Wow, this didn't take long to turn into a flamefest  Silly (welcome back to a.net, I guess)

Question is, what's wrong of being genuinely concerned with some of your female friend's worries ?

If I REALLY had a size problem, would I discuss it on a forum where 80% of posters have yet to touch a woman ?  Yeah sure

UTA  checkeredflag 
Fly to live, live to fly - Air France/KLM Flying Blue Platinum, BMI Diamond Club Gold, Emirates Skywards
 
bigphilnyc
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RE: When The Thingy Is, Ermmm, Too Small :-)

Tue Aug 16, 2005 5:25 pm

Having a small penis is like being a fat chick....you make up for it by being funny or something.

Or buying your girl gifts.

Or claiming to have a good tongue or fingers.

Or by claiming "It's the motion of the ocean" (and try to keep a straight face).

Either way, most girls in that situation are going to cheat. Girls need to be pleased like anyone and if someone can't deliver, doyou realy think she'll be able to go the rest of her life without a good deep d**king?
Phil Derner Jr.
 
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Aloha717200
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RE: When The Thingy Is, Ermmm, Too Small :-)

Tue Aug 16, 2005 5:43 pm

From what I have heard (keep in mind i have no experience with sex), what you lack in endowment can be made up for in technique.

What your friend needs to do is politely, and carefully, tell her partner that she isnt satisfied and then HELP him by COMMUNICATING with him on how to pleasure her better.

If he's willing to make an effort to be better at it then i think her problem can be overcome. But without communication it wont get any better. Instead of talking to you, she needs to talk to him. And be gentle about it. There is nothing a man can do to change the size of his member...you've got what you're given, and it wouldnt be fair of her to leave him for that reason alone if he's willing to try harder to make their sex a bit better.


Again, this comes ONLY from what i have heard, not personal experience, so take it with a grain of salt.
 
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scbriml
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RE: When The Thingy Is, Ermmm, Too Small :-)

Tue Aug 16, 2005 10:53 pm

Being the wrong size can be a problem. My wife wishes I was smaller.  liar 
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana!
 
cornish
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RE: When The Thingy Is, Ermmm, Too Small :-)

Tue Aug 16, 2005 10:59 pm

Not that this expression applies to me, but I believe the saying goes:

Its not the size of your pencil, its how you write your name that matters....
Just when I thought I could see light at the end of the tunnel, it was some B*****d with a torch bringing me more work
 
jaysit
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RE: When The Thingy Is, Ermmm, Too Small :-)

Wed Aug 17, 2005 12:14 am

Sorry, but when they said "good things come in small packages," they didn't mean dick. That was Tiffany's and they were referring to diamonds.

I say "Dump Him !"
Atheism is Myth Understood.
 
MD-90
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RE: When The Thingy Is, Ermmm, Too Small :-)

Wed Aug 17, 2005 12:23 am

Jeez, both Jaysit and the girl are pretty freaking shallow. Why is she having sex before marriage anyway? And choosing a man just because he's more well-endowed than another?

Sad...

Tell her to buy a dildo if it's that important to her.
 
An-225
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RE: When The Thingy Is, Ermmm, Too Small :-)

Wed Aug 17, 2005 1:15 am

Quoting MD-90 (Reply 21):
Why is she having sex before marriage anyway?

Because not everyone subscribes to your pathetic 16th century ideology...

Alex.
Money does not bring you happiness. But it's better to cry in your own private limo than on a cold bus stop.
 
bhmbaglock
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RE: When The Thingy Is, Ermmm, Too Small :-)

Wed Aug 17, 2005 1:16 am

Quoting Lt-AWACS (Reply 7):
learn to use your tongue real fast.... lol

Lick the alphabet!
Where are all of my respected members going?
 
senorcarnival
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RE: When The Thingy Is, Ermmm, Too Small :-)

Wed Aug 17, 2005 1:27 am

Quoting UTA_flyinghigh (Reply 6):

She already owns such an occurrence and indeed she is running its batteries dry in the last days

Then perhaps she needs rechargeable ones. It'll save her a bundle. If she's unsure about being with someone due to penal size, then she obviously has no business with this gentleman. She needs to end it, but keep in mind this gentleman will need years of therapy if she tells him the real reason why she can't see him any longer. Then again, he may already be used to it. Don't they make plastic surgery for that these days?

[Edited 2005-08-16 18:35:43]
Oh no, she's getting impatient! Take a stab at it!
 
bigphilnyc
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RE: When The Thingy Is, Ermmm, Too Small :-)

Wed Aug 17, 2005 1:34 am

Quoting Cornish (Reply 19):
Its not the size of your pencil, its how you write your name that matters....

That's what people with 4 inchers say.

Quoting Jaysit (Reply 20):
Sorry, but when they said "good things come in small packages," they didn't mean dick.

HAHAHAHAHAHA

Quoting MD-90 (Reply 21):
Why is she having sex before marriage anyway?

Because it's not 1612 anymore. Here, you forgot your butter churn.

Phil Derner Jr.
 
UTA_flyinghigh
Topic Author
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RE: When The Thingy Is, Ermmm, Too Small :-)

Wed Aug 17, 2005 3:28 pm

Following your (and my) sound advice it appears the lady shall (...) promptly ditch the fool  Silly

Quoting Senorcarnival (Reply 24):
but keep in mind this gentleman will need years of therapy if she tells him the real reason why she can't see him any longer. Then again, he may already be used to it.

Errrm, his previous gf dumped him for that...methinks he might be gay but doesn't know it yet  Wink

UTA  checkeredflag 
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NIKV69
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RE: When The Thingy Is, Ermmm, Too Small :-)

Wed Aug 17, 2005 9:45 pm

Quoting AR1300 (Reply 2):
Wasn't that the size didn't matter???

Please, every good female friend of mine says that's BS, they want inches!

Quoting BigPhilNYC (Reply 25):
Its not the size of your pencil, its how you write your name that matters....

That's what people with 4 inchers say.

You got that right!

She should dump this guy. She is just going to cheat on him.
Hey that guy with the private jet can bail us out! Why? HE CAN AFFORD IT!
 
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ClassicLover
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RE: When The Thingy Is, Ermmm, Too Small :-)

Wed Aug 17, 2005 9:51 pm

Quoting BigPhilNYC (Reply 16):
Having a small penis is like being a fat chick....you make up for it by being funny or something.

R O F L !!

Anyway, I dated someone with a small penis. He was the best sex I ever had, because he more than made up for it in other ways. He'd do anything, anytime, and would really go to town on showing his appreciation for my efforts in the bedroom. Doesn't get much better than that!

If he made like a corpse in bed (as some people I've been with have done - I mean honestly, no sound, no movement, nothing in return - what IS WITH that), then he would have been out the door in seconds.

Trent.
I do quite enjoy a spot of flying - more so when it's not in Economy!
 
erikwilliam
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RE: When The Thingy Is, Ermmm, Too Small :-)

Wed Aug 17, 2005 10:21 pm

A few points to be considered:

1- If it´s as small as you say, then suggest plastic surgery
2- Considering it´s small but within the normal size, send her to a shrink
3- If she really likes the BIG ONES, I might suggest Porn Movies, or she considers Rocco an average guy?
4- Tell her to take it from behind with no lube, and then rethink the statement
5- Send her down here, and I´ll show here what a small penis can do.
Dida, Cafu, Lucio, Roque Junior, Roberto Carlo, Emerson, Ze Roberto, Ronaldinho, Kaka, Adriano, Robinho, Ronaldo
 
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sebolino
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RE: When The Thingy Is, Ermmm, Too Small :-)

Wed Aug 17, 2005 10:44 pm

Quoting MD-90 (Reply 21):
Why is she having sex before marriage anyway?

LOL.

I can't believe it !

Quoting UTA_flyinghigh (Thread starter):
One of my very good female friends is in a (rather small) predicament;
she has been flirting around for a couple of days with a boy she's very fond of and vice versa.

Translation:
I'm just married and my wife thinks the honeymoon is not so sweet with my very little hum hum you know what ...
What should I do ?  Smile

Good try UTA  Big grin
 
LH423
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RE: When The Thingy Is, Ermmm, Too Small :-)

Wed Aug 17, 2005 11:27 pm

Quoting BigPhilNYC (Reply 16):
Having a small penis is like being a fat chick....you make up for it by being funny or something.

Or buying your girl gifts.

Or claiming to have a good tongue or fingers.

Or by claiming "It's the motion of the ocean" (and try to keep a straight face).

Sounds like you're well-versed in the excuses. Personal experience?  Wink

LH423
« On ne voit bien qu'avec le cœur. L'essentiel est invisible pour les yeux » Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
 
xjramper
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RE: When The Thingy Is, Ermmm, Too Small :-)

Wed Aug 17, 2005 11:36 pm

Quoting BigPhilNYC (Reply 16):
Or by claiming "It's the motion of the ocean"

Yeah.....but it takes a long time to get from NYC to Europe in a rowboat, phil.  Silly

XJR
Look ma' no hands!
 
777DadandJr
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RE: When The Thingy Is, Ermmm, Too Small :-)

Thu Aug 18, 2005 4:44 am

The only thing is that he is not very well endowed, which is quite facheux as she requires something of bigger dimensions.

Maybe he's not as small as she thinks. Maybe she is just....ummmmm....used.
You know, like throwing a banana down a hallway!


Quoting Bhmbaglock (Reply 23):
Quoting Lt-AWACS (Reply 7):
learn to use your tongue real fast.... lol

Lick the alphabet!

Sound like some here is a Nip/Tuck fan!

Quoting NIKV69 (Reply 27):
Quoting AR1300 (Reply 2):
Wasn't that the size didn't matter???

Please, every good female friend of mine says that's BS, they want inches!

Female friends of mine are more interested in girth, than length. (I have no problem there, either.)   

Quoting Erikwilliam (Reply 29):
A few points to be considered:

1- If it´s as small as you say, then suggest plastic surgery
2- Considering it´s small but within the normal size, send her to a shrink
3- If she really likes the BIG ONES, I might suggest Porn Movies, or she considers Rocco an average guy?
4- Tell her to take it from behind with no lube, and then rethink the statement
5- Send her down here, and I´ll show here what a small penis can do.

   Good show Erik, good show!

Russ

[Edited 2005-08-17 21:50:57]
My glass is neither 1/2 empty nor 1/2 full, rather, the glass itself is twice as big as it should be.
 
KiwiNanday
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RE: When The Thingy Is, Ermmm, Too Small :-)

Thu Aug 18, 2005 4:46 am

Quoting XJRamper (Reply 32):
Yeah.....but it takes a long time to get from NYC to Europe in a rowboat, phil.

XJR

Where did I see that on TV? The roast of Pam Anderson?
Silly Islamic extremists, it's just a cartoon!
 
erikwilliam
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RE: When The Thingy Is, Ermmm, Too Small :-)

Thu Aug 18, 2005 5:22 am

Quoting 777DadandJr (Reply 33):
Good show Erik, good show!

WOHO  bigthumbsup 
Dida, Cafu, Lucio, Roque Junior, Roberto Carlo, Emerson, Ze Roberto, Ronaldinho, Kaka, Adriano, Robinho, Ronaldo
 
FlyVirgin744
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RE: When The Thingy Is, Ermmm, Too Small :-)

Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:04 am

Stewie: Yeah God gave me the package, I signed for it.

Really though,

my roomate Nicole who is somewhat of a ho, has had sex with around 20 guys probably (shes 21). She has had to deal with all sizes. She told me the best sex shes had was with guys who were average in length. This coming from her was surprising to me.
Sometimes I go about in pity for myself and all the while a great wind carries me across the sky.
 
Newark777
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RE: When The Thingy Is, Ermmm, Too Small :-)

Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:07 am

You know, like throwing a banana down a hallway!

Haha, I love the analogy!  rotfl 

Harry
Why grab a Heine when you can grab a Busch?
 
jaysit
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RE: When The Thingy Is, Ermmm, Too Small :-)

Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:11 am

Quoting MD-90 (Reply 21):
Why is she having sex before marriage anyway? And choosing a man just because he's more well-endowed than another?

Sad...

Tell her to buy a dildo if it's that important to her.

Thanks to you we now know that dildos are officially sanctioned by the Church.

 Smile
Atheism is Myth Understood.
 
iakobos
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RE: When The Thingy Is, Ermmm, Too Small :-)

Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:22 am

Quoting Jaysit (Reply 38):

Thanks to you we now know that dildos are officially sanctioned by the Church.

Correct, but only approved models and only if they have been christened prior to usage.

Did anyone (in need) try one of those miracle-treatments promoted by e-mail.
I have really no interest but for the handicapped, an extra 4" in length and an inch or two in circumference could well do the trick, no ?
 
NIKV69
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RE: When The Thingy Is, Ermmm, Too Small :-)

Thu Aug 18, 2005 10:14 am

Quoting 777DadandJr (Reply 33):
Female friends of mine are more interested in girth, than length. (I have no problem there, either.)

Tru, but they still need to be at least average or above in length for that to matter.
Hey that guy with the private jet can bail us out! Why? HE CAN AFFORD IT!
 
B744F
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RE: When The Thingy Is, Ermmm, Too Small :-)

Thu Aug 18, 2005 10:16 am

It seems like this is all that matters to her, very sad.
 
bhmbaglock
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RE: When The Thingy Is, Ermmm, Too Small :-)

Thu Aug 18, 2005 11:32 am

Quoting 777DadandJr (Reply 33):
Sound like some here is a Nip/Tuck fan!

No, tried to watch for a long 5 minutes one time. I think I first heard this over 20 years ago - don't remember where.
Where are all of my respected members going?
 
MD-90
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RE: When The Thingy Is, Ermmm, Too Small :-)

Thu Aug 18, 2005 11:34 am

Quoting Jaysit (Reply 38):
Thanks to you we now know that dildos are officially sanctioned by the Church.

I was kidding. Try going to a Southern Baptist church and casually mentioning to the little old ladies that your wife uses a dildo when she feels like it. You'd probably cause some heart attacks, if you weren't bludgeoned to death by handbag first.


And yes, I believe that God has intended that true love shall wait.
 
omoo
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RE: When The Thingy Is, Ermmm, Too Small :-)

Thu Aug 18, 2005 11:35 am

Quoting UTA_flyinghigh (Thread starter):
The only thing is that he is not very well endowed, which is quite facheux as she requires something of bigger dimensions.

tell her to buy a penis pump !
Fly Air Popobawa
 
aerobalance
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RE: When The Thingy Is, Ermmm, Too Small :-)

Thu Aug 18, 2005 11:35 am

Just send her Superfly's way! Damn kids....
"Sing a song, play guitar, make it snappy..."
 
ltbewr
Posts: 12423
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RE: When The Thingy Is, Ermmm, Too Small :-)

Thu Aug 18, 2005 12:21 pm

Maybe the lady could have some surgery to have her love portal made smaller/tighter....
Unless this guy has a good tounge or a fat wallet, he may be out of it. Tell him to find a woman with a small vigana. Maybe some 4'10" petite build 19 year old vigrin woman. Maybe a midget?
 
omoo
Posts: 650
Joined: Thu Jun 09, 2005 12:35 am

RE: When The Thingy Is, Ermmm, Too Small :-)

Fri Aug 19, 2005 1:44 am

Quote:

Sometimes, a woman will experience vaginal looseness, as a result of childbearing, trauma, or simply aging. There may be a loss of muscle tone and stretching of the vaginal opening. This may interfere with normal sexual relations with her husband or partner. Using a special surgical technique, we can repair and tighten the vaginap to a smaller, more normal-sized opening in most patients. We customize the surgery to the individual needs and expectations of the patient, as are discussed during the required pre-surgical consultation and thorough gynecological examination. Patients are very pleased with our final results.

She can visit here for more info........

http://www.libertywomenshealth.com/9.html

[Edited 2005-08-18 18:47:29]

[Edited 2005-08-18 18:47:57]
Fly Air Popobawa
 
saxdiva
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RE: When The Thingy Is, Ermmm, Too Small :-)

Fri Aug 19, 2005 1:54 am

Quoting Erikwilliam (Reply 29):
Send her down here, and I´ll show here what a small penis can do.

Hopefully the dishes or the cooking, because you sure as hell wouldn't be ****ing her.
 
erikwilliam
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RE: When The Thingy Is, Ermmm, Too Small :-)

Fri Aug 19, 2005 2:02 am

Quoting Saxdiva (Reply 48):
Hopefully the dishes or the cooking, because you sure as hell wouldn't be ****ing her.

I´m confused now, is this jealously or simple frustration?
Dida, Cafu, Lucio, Roque Junior, Roberto Carlo, Emerson, Ze Roberto, Ronaldinho, Kaka, Adriano, Robinho, Ronaldo

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