WellHung
Topic Author
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Do The French Need Instructions For Grocery Bags?

Fri Aug 26, 2005 2:24 am



Now my French is a little rusty and some of the text is obscured, but this clearly looks like these people require INSTRUCTIONS for proper use of a plastic bag! Here in the US, the only thing on the bag is the store logo (sometimes) and the ol' "Dont suffocate yourself with this, asshole." Here's what I can make out, someone correct me if I'm wrong:

1. Remove beret. Take shower. Replace beret. Determine proximity to local soccer stadium. If within 1000m, move to reduce likelihood of soccer-related riot interruption of bag packing. Place whatever periodical you are reading that is currently bashing Lance Armstrong on a table or flat surface nearby. Any and all slim cigarettes are to be extinguished.

2. Place baguette, mime-esque red and white vertically striped shirt, Eiffel tower replica and new carton of slim cigarettes carefully into bag.

3. Burn effigy of George W. Bush. Hug a terrorist. Slip cheese-covered fingers into and around bag handles. Carry bag in friendly arm-slinging motion. Chant pro-UN slogan.
 
mrniji
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RE: Do The French Need Instructions For Grocery Bags?

Fri Aug 26, 2005 2:33 am

Quoting WellHung (Thread starter):
Now my French is a little rusty



 Wink

On a sidenote, Hung: do you ever take part in aviation-related discussions, or did Allah or some other almighty designate you to inform us about such crucial issues like the one you are referring to in this thread? And is that the reason you agreed to lash out US$ 5 a month?  Silly
"The earth provides enough resources for everyone's need, but not for some people's greed." (Gandhi)
 
KROC
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RE: Do The French Need Instructions For Grocery Bags?

Fri Aug 26, 2005 2:36 am

Easy MrNiji. This is actually a great attempt at humor from Hung. Don't rain on his parade.
 
mrniji
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RE: Do The French Need Instructions For Grocery Bags?

Fri Aug 26, 2005 2:46 am

Quoting KROC (Reply 2):
Easy MrNiji. This is actually a great attempt at humor from Hung. Don't rain on his parade.

 Big grin

No worries, he will have his parade, either way..  Wink
"The earth provides enough resources for everyone's need, but not for some people's greed." (Gandhi)
 
gkirk
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RE: Do The French Need Instructions For Grocery Bags?

Fri Aug 26, 2005 3:05 am

Actually that actually shows the number of ways in which a Frenchman can surrender to a plastic bag. About 50 or 60.
When you hear the noise of the Tartan Army Boys, we'll be coming down the road!
 
WellHung
Topic Author
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RE: Do The French Need Instructions For Grocery Ba

Fri Aug 26, 2005 3:31 am

Quoting Mrniji (Reply 1):
do you ever take part in aviation-related discussions

Not on this site. To be honest, I don't give a shit about when NW is retiring its DC-9s, what livery looks best on the ERJ-135 or what percentage of male flight attendants smoke pole. I'm interested in aviation, just not the every day operations of every airline. And some of the photos are cool, too. But I'm not interested in congratulating every photographer inthe forum every time they get 25 photos uploaded, either.

Quoting Gkirk (Reply 4):
Actually that actually shows the number of ways in which a Frenchman can surrender to a plastic bag. About 50 or 60.

And GKirk come raining down with a classic blow. Had the French not already surrendered and retreated, it surely would have been a ko.

 
aa61hvy
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RE: Do The French Need Instructions For Grocery Bags?

Fri Aug 26, 2005 3:34 am

The French need to learn how to take defeat a la Lance Armstrong.
Go big or go home
 
N1120A
Posts: 26468
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RE: Do The French Need Instructions For Grocery Bags?

Fri Aug 26, 2005 3:45 am

Actually, my French is not so rusty and I read that bag. It actually says:

1. Use this bag for the extra large box of condoms you will need as the new group of American, British and German tourists will come sooner than you think

2. When a foreign woman you are talking to mentions having a boyfriend, simply turn up your accent in English and tell her about how beautiful the Cote d'Azur is and you will have her within 5 minutes

3. Bag may be reused to carry off your collection of underwear and throw it in the trash before your girlfriend comes back from Corsica
Mangeons les French fries, mais surtout pratiquons avec fierte le French kiss
 
kilavoud
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RE: Do The French Need Instructions For Grocery Bags?

Fri Aug 26, 2005 4:31 am

1) Dans nos magasins, il vous sert pour vos achats.
English : In our shops, you can use it for your purchases.

2) Chez vous il peut servir de poubelle.
English : In your home, you can use it as a trash can.

3) ??
 
bongo
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RE: Do The French Need Instructions For Grocery Bags?

Fri Aug 26, 2005 4:36 am

Strange that an american user noticed that...since every single item in the United States comes with instructions...even a Hammer !!!
MDE: First airport in the Americas visited by the A380!
 
KROC
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RE: Do The French Need Instructions For Grocery Bags?

Fri Aug 26, 2005 4:47 am

Quoting Bongo (Reply 9):
every single item in the United States comes with instructions...even a Hammer !!!

Thats so when we have visitors from Colombia, they know how to use even our common sense tools.  Yeah sure
 
WellHung
Topic Author
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RE: Do The French Need Instructions For Grocery Ba

Fri Aug 26, 2005 4:52 am

Quoting KROC (Reply 10):
Thats so when we have visitors from Colombia, they know how to use even our common sense tools.

Fortunately, they already know how to use our currency, no instructions necessary...

 
aa61hvy
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RE: Do The French Need Instructions For Grocery Bags?

Fri Aug 26, 2005 4:53 am

Haha nicely done Wellington  Wink
Go big or go home
 
garnetpalmetto
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RE: Do The French Need Instructions For Grocery Bags?

Fri Aug 26, 2005 4:54 am

Quoting Bongo (Reply 9):
even a Hammer !!!

Erm...I've never seen a hammer with instructions...just bought a Philips-head screwdriver at Wal-Mart last night - didn't see instructions with that either. The screws next to it? No instructions either. I think Bongo's been shopping at a "special" stores.
South Carolina - too small to be its own country, too big to be a mental asylum.
 
KROC
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RE: Do The French Need Instructions For Grocery Bags?

Fri Aug 26, 2005 4:57 am

Quoting WellHung (Reply 11):
Fortunately, they already know how to use our currency, no instructions necessary...

Absolutely priceless. Having tomorrow off...this starts my weekend off right!
 
bongo
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RE: Do The French Need Instructions For Grocery Bags?

Fri Aug 26, 2005 4:59 am

Quoting WellHung (Reply 11):
Fortunately, they already know how to use our currency, no instructions necessary...

1. That is cleary a lack of respect to a Country that has been suffering a lot mainly because of the USA consumption.
2. You American consumers are the ones who use you own currency in that way...just check the stats to see which Country consumes more  Wink
MDE: First airport in the Americas visited by the A380!
 
dan2002
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RE: Do The French Need Instructions For Grocery Bags?

Fri Aug 26, 2005 5:06 am

Quoting Bongo (Reply 15):
2. You American consumers are the ones who use you own currency in that way...just check the stats to see which Country consumes more

Check the stats to see what country produces more.



-Dan
A guy asks 'What's Punk?'. I kick over a trash can and its punk. He knocks over a trash can and its trendy.
 
KROC
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RE: Do The French Need Instructions For Grocery Bags?

Fri Aug 26, 2005 5:06 am

Quoting Bongo (Reply 15):
1. That is cleary a lack of respect to a Country that has been suffering a lot mainly because of the USA consumption.

How is your country suffering becuase of that? Allot of rich guys in your country because of habit forming Americans...all with that American Currency in their pockets.
 
airbuzz
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RE: Do The French Need Instructions For Grocery Bags?

Fri Aug 26, 2005 5:08 am

Quoting Bongo (Reply 9):
Strange that an american user noticed that...since every single item in the United States comes with instructions...even a Hammer !!!

Yeah, like the phrase "Warning: may be hot!" on the coffee....
 
airbuzz
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RE: Do The French Need Instructions For Grocery Bags?

Fri Aug 26, 2005 5:18 am

Quoting WellHung (Thread starter):
Now my French is a little rusty and some of the text is obscured, but this clearly looks like these people require INSTRUCTIONS for proper use of a plastic bag! Here in the US, the only thing on the bag is the store logo (sometimes) and the ol' "Dont suffocate yourself with this, asshole." Here's what I can make out, someone correct me if I'm wrong:

Hmmm... Yet another useless bash-France thread....

I don't know what is written on French plastic bags, but I'm 99% sure that is similar to the Italian plastic bags, where you can find the phrases: "respect the environment, don't throw away" or "reutilize it for your trash can"...

Do you think they are stupid suggestions?

 
bongo
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RE: Do The French Need Instructions For Grocery Bags?

Fri Aug 26, 2005 5:42 am

Quoting KROC (Reply 17):
How is your country suffering becuase of that?

Many deaths..many bombs...read the news !
MDE: First airport in the Americas visited by the A380!
 
carmenlu15
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RE: Do The French Need Instructions For Grocery Bags?

Fri Aug 26, 2005 5:52 am

Quoting Dan2002 (Reply 16):
Check the stats to see what country produces more.

I said it before, and I'll say it again... Ever heard of supply and demand laws?
Don't expect to see me around that much (if at all) -- the contact link should still work, though.
 
Boogyjay
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RE: Do The French Need Instructions For Grocery Bags?

Fri Aug 26, 2005 6:29 am

I don't have one at hand now as I'm in the UK but if I recall correctly, it is:

Quoting Kilavoud (Reply 8):
3) ??

3) Mettez le a la poubelle, il pourra etre transformer
Put it in the bin, it could be transformed.

Now on the other side of the bag, I think you have:
"The combustion of this bag generates enough energy to power a 60 Watt lightbulb for 10 minutes"

Instructive.

Now, what about:
"Don't put any animal in your microwaves"
"Very hot coffee! Can injure"
... and many others
If I were american, I would not have start this thread. Here in Europe we don't need on the mirrors the "WARNING! Objects may appear closer than they are" DUH! You learn that when you get your license, don't you?

Beginning like that, we could have instructions for every single thing: "WARNING! To overtake, check your back", "WARNING! Adjust the mirror before driving"... and you end up with a useless full of instruction mirror. Interesting...  Yeah sure

N1120A - liked your post...  Smile
 
Paul777
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RE: Do The French Need Instructions For Grocery Bags?

Fri Aug 26, 2005 10:32 am

Quoting BoogyJay (Reply 22):
If I were american, I would not have start this thread. Here in Europe we don't need on the mirrors the "WARNING! Objects may appear closer than they are" DUH!

Like that one - especially since people here don't use their mirrors when they drive.

The picture is probably one that is going to be submitted as a stupid pet trick for Letterman's show.
 
We're Nuts
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RE: Do The French Need Instructions For Grocery Bags?

Fri Aug 26, 2005 10:37 am

Dear moderators: No.
 
N1120A
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RE: Do The French Need Instructions For Grocery Bags?

Fri Aug 26, 2005 10:45 am

Quoting Airbuzz (Reply 19):
Hmmm... Yet another useless bash-France thread....

No, it is a joke, hence I responded in kind
L
BTW, We're Nuts, you have to be civilized in order to protect civilization Big grin
Mangeons les French fries, mais surtout pratiquons avec fierte le French kiss
 
komododx
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RE: Do The French Need Instructions For Grocery Bags?

Fri Aug 26, 2005 12:07 pm

Well someone should read their microwave oven's instructions for the sake of the poor kitty in the first picture: Warning! Do not place cat inside microwave oven and heat.

Better yet, those allergic to nuts should never forget to read AA's caution phrase on their packets of peanuts: Warning! May contain nuts.

Unfortunately, we all know that all these really stupid instructions are not because people in America actually do need to be remembered that poor kitty should be kept out of the microwave, that our coffee IS hot, or that peanut packets actually do contain nuts. It's all because of the lawsuits. Unfortunately, people who do not live here obviously find all this ridiculous!

Stefano  wave 
I'm homeless and unemployed
 
garnetpalmetto
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RE: Do The French Need Instructions For Grocery Bags?

Fri Aug 26, 2005 1:31 pm

Quoting Komododx (Reply 26):
It's all because of the lawsuits

Actually, not to go off-topic, but the rather infamous McDonald's "hot coffee" lawsuit was quite legit..
South Carolina - too small to be its own country, too big to be a mental asylum.
 
komododx
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RE: Do The French Need Instructions For Grocery Bags?

Fri Aug 26, 2005 9:04 pm

Quoting Garnetpalmetto (Reply 27):
Actually, not to go off-topic, but the rather infamous McDonald's "hot coffee" lawsuit was quite legit..

Oh I'm not saying it's not legit. But as they say: Only in America.

Stefano  wave 
I'm homeless and unemployed
 
UTA_flyinghigh
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RE: Do The French Need Instructions For Grocery Bags?

Fri Aug 26, 2005 9:23 pm

Ha, it appears someone is discovering the joys of hotlinking  Wink

UTA  checkeredflag 
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baylorairbear
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RE: Do The French Need Instructions For Grocery Bags?

Fri Aug 26, 2005 9:26 pm

WellHung, why'd you change the pic? This isn't the self-pic thread.

BAB
I'm just skipping stones...
 
N1120A
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RE: Do The French Need Instructions For Grocery Bags?

Sat Aug 27, 2005 5:41 pm

Quoting Komododx (Reply 28):
Quoting Garnetpalmetto (Reply 27):
Actually, not to go off-topic, but the rather infamous McDonald's "hot coffee" lawsuit was quite legit..

Oh I'm not saying it's not legit. But as they say: Only in America.

No, it isn't just legit in the US. It would have been a similar result in France, Germany, etc.
Mangeons les French fries, mais surtout pratiquons avec fierte le French kiss
 
CaptOveur
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RE: Do The French Need Instructions For Grocery Bags?

Sun Aug 28, 2005 2:01 pm

So where is the cat in the grocery bag?
Things were better when it was two guys in a dorm room.

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