FlyboyOz
Topic Author
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Two Straight Male Friends Hug Each Other?

Wed Sep 14, 2005 10:50 am

This thread is NOT about gay issue but it's about men issue (social life).

My online friends and I discussed about two straight male friends hug each other. Normally, two men can hug each other when there was someone who died and also when they were drunk. However they told me that it's weird for two male straight friends hugging each other before they left in the coffee shop or when hang out. Do you agree with it?

Well...I have done this before. My friends and I always hang out together and we hugged before we left in front of the public. I was a bit awkward.
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ffis34
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RE: Two Straight Male Friends Hug Each Other?

Wed Sep 14, 2005 10:57 am

Hey, I am not gay and all but one of my male friends are straight, and we are like a big loveing family always hugging and other stuff like circle jerks and stuff to the nature as far as contact goes hugging is as far as i will go with a guy but then maybe i think this is normal because i am in the band and sex is second nature to us but who knows

i think its perfectly normal

I am a metrosexual, well this is what i think, but others disagree

Brad
 
777DadandJr
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RE: Two Straight Male Friends Hug Each Other?

Wed Sep 14, 2005 10:57 am

I see absolutely nothing wrong with it. I think it has less to do with being socially wierd than someone's personal inhabitions.
I hug my male friends all the time.
I suppose it has alot to do with how close to that friend you are. I mean, I don't greet a client with a hug, but my good friends that I have know for ages, most definately.

Russ
My glass is neither 1/2 empty nor 1/2 full, rather, the glass itself is twice as big as it should be.
 
We're Nuts
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RE: Two Straight Male Friends Hug Each Other?

Wed Sep 14, 2005 10:58 am

My very best friend left for college today. Sad We said goodbye last night and left with a long hug. We're both straight and we love each other - I'll never have another friend like him.

Anyone who says there is something wrong with that probably leads a lonely existence.
Dear moderators: No.
 
Springbok747
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RE: Two Straight Male Friends Hug Each Other?

Wed Sep 14, 2005 11:00 am

Quoting FlyboyOz (Thread starter):
However they told me that it's weird for two male straight friends hugging each other before they left in the coffee shop or when hang out.

Yes. It is.

The only time I've hugged a guy was in the airport when my best friend went away to Canada for 2 years. It's gay to hug another guy even when you're drunk. Period.
אני תומך בישראל
 
satx
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RE: Two Straight Male Friends Hug Each Other?

Wed Sep 14, 2005 11:01 am

LOL! I don't hug other guys unless they just lost their mum or won an Olympic medal or something. But hey, that's just me. I'm the kind of guy who might acknowledge a reunion with a long-lost friend by a quick and simple raise of my chin and then off to drinks or whatever. I do, however, often punch or jab other guys in the shoulder when I'm giving them crap or waiting for them to get a joke or something.
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September11
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RE: Two Straight Male Friends Hug Each Other?

Wed Sep 14, 2005 11:04 am

I have seen many guys hug each other at airports - countless times .. arrival/departure gates, passenger drop-off/pick-up areas by terminal, baggage claim areas... always great to see that, kinda refreshing to me

[Edited 2005-09-14 04:06:53]
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Curtisman
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RE: Two Straight Male Friends Hug Each Other?

Wed Sep 14, 2005 11:08 am

Among my family and friends, everyone hugs a lot. It doesn't matter who is gay or straight. Guys hugging guys is a good thing. My father and mother hugged us kids a lot and I think that is a good thing - along with all of the kisses.

I feel bad for guys who feel uncomfortable hugging another guy. Human touch is important. So be free and enjoy a hug from someone you care about!

Len
Citizen of the World
 
satx
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RE: Two Straight Male Friends Hug Each Other?

Wed Sep 14, 2005 11:19 am

I'm guessing this might largely come down to a USA vs. the rest of the world kind of thing. I've seen strait guys hugging, holding hands, and with their arms on each others shoulders all over the world, but in the US this is generally considered as something mainly gay guys do. I don't think one side is right and other is wrong. Every culture is different and that's fine with me. I've had both drunk and sober guys try to cozy up to me and it's just not my thing.
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redngold
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RE: Two Straight Male Friends Hug Each Other?

Wed Sep 14, 2005 11:24 am

I admit that the first time I ever saw my father hug another man, I was weirded out - but then I realized that they had shared a spiritual experience (a weekend Christian men's retreat) and that they were sharing a hug because they were happy to see each other.
Then, it became refreshing to see my father actually express himself like that. I realized that he was so often very stiff and that he had learned to keep physical space like that from his own father.
My grandfather only started hugging my sister and me a few years before his death.

Quoting Springbok747 (Reply 4):
t's gay to hug another guy even when you're drunk. Period.

Golly, grow up, man.
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We're Nuts
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RE: Two Straight Male Friends Hug Each Other?

Wed Sep 14, 2005 11:26 am

Quoting SATX (Reply 8):
I've had both drunk and sober guys try to cozy up to me and it's just not my thing.

Someone didn't get hugged enough as a baby....  

[Edited 2005-09-14 04:27:58]
Dear moderators: No.
 
777DadandJr
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RE: Two Straight Male Friends Hug Each Other?

Wed Sep 14, 2005 11:26 am

Quoting Springbok747 (Reply 4):
It's gay to hug another guy even when you're drunk.

Oh please! Sounds like someone is a little insecure about their sexuality. There is absolutely nothing wierd about it.

Russ
My glass is neither 1/2 empty nor 1/2 full, rather, the glass itself is twice as big as it should be.
 
greasespot
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RE: Two Straight Male Friends Hug Each Other?

Wed Sep 14, 2005 11:37 am

If they hug eachother they have to then go out and kill something to reassert their man hood...

GS
Sometimes all you can do is look them in the eye and ask " how much did your mom drink when she was pregnant with you?"
 
ANCFlyer
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RE: Two Straight Male Friends Hug Each Other?

Wed Sep 14, 2005 11:43 am

Quoting Greasespot (Reply 12):
If they hug eachother they have to then go out and kill something to reassert their man hood...

Or talk about the last NFL game . . .  rotfl  rotfl 

I have no problem with it . . . been there, done that . . . only homophobics have problems with that . . . for whatever reason.
FOR THOSE THAT FOUGHT FOR IT, FREEDOM HAS A FLAVOR THE PROTECTED WILL NEVER KNOW OR UNDERSTAND
 
Springbok747
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RE: Two Straight Male Friends Hug Each Other?

Wed Sep 14, 2005 11:48 am

Quoting 777DadandJr (Reply 11):
Oh please! Sounds like someone is a little insecure about their sexuality. There is absolutely nothing wierd about it.

Geez...lighten up guys..I'm joking. I've hugged many of my friends at airports, functions etc. I still hug my cousin everytime I see him.
אני תומך בישראל
 
777DadandJr
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RE: Two Straight Male Friends Hug Each Other?

Wed Sep 14, 2005 11:52 am

Quoting Springbok747 (Reply 14):
Geez...lighten up guys..I'm joking. I've hugged many of my friends at airports, functions etc. I still hug my cousin everytime I see him.

Thanks for clarifying that Springbok. You're forgiven! Big grin

Russ
My glass is neither 1/2 empty nor 1/2 full, rather, the glass itself is twice as big as it should be.
 
satx
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RE: Two Straight Male Friends Hug Each Other?

Wed Sep 14, 2005 12:23 pm

Dammit Nuts... don't ever respond to my posts until you take that damn quotation mark out of your nick! Something with the app or the DB is getting weirded-out because it thinks it's looking at a 'single tick' and it's not letting me quote your post.  Sad

Anyway, here we go...

"Someone didn't get hugged enough as a baby"

Well, both my dad and my mom have hugged me plenty and I've got the photos to prove it. I'm not sure who else should have been hugging me back then, but maybe there just weren't enough strangers around to really get the point across.  Big grin
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ScarletHarlot
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RE: Two Straight Male Friends Hug Each Other?

Wed Sep 14, 2005 1:01 pm

Quoting CurtisMan (Reply 7):
I feel bad for guys who feel uncomfortable hugging another guy.

Yes, me too. There's nothing wrong with guys hugging each other. My husband hugs his good friends from time to time. Shaking hands is so stiff and cold.

A man who is confident in his sexuality (whatever way he swings) is a really cool thing.
But that was when I ruled the world
 
MD-90
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RE: Two Straight Male Friends Hug Each Other?

Wed Sep 14, 2005 1:23 pm

Quoting Ffis34 (Reply 1):
Hey, I am not gay and all but one of my male friends are straight, and we are like a big loveing family always hugging and other stuff like circle jerks and stuff to the nature as far as contact goes hugging is as far as i will go with a guy but then maybe i think this is normal because i am in the band and sex is second nature to us but who knows

Whoa, now that is, um....a run-on sentence.

Circle jerks? Whatever starts your tractor. But I've heard of smiliar things in the all-male drum corps. Some bands can be intense experiences...

I was in the band too, and still am, but the main difference between us and "them" in high school was that we were more comfortable working with girls (in band), and so our band dances were much more fun than school dances, because people were less inhibited and less worried about looking stupid...and more concerned with having fun.

[Edited 2005-09-14 06:26:00]
 
skyservice_330
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RE: Two Straight Male Friends Hug Each Other?

Wed Sep 14, 2005 1:33 pm

Quoting Springbok747 (Reply 4):
It's gay to hug another guy even when you're drunk. Period.

If you are secure about your sexuality and who you are then there is nothing "gay" about it ... w/e the hell that means.


I hug my roomates when we leave for extended periods of time (eg. go home for the summer) same with my bro. Thats about it. I got no problems hugging a guy any other time, just depends on the situation and how close you are too them I guess.
 
airxliban
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RE: Two Straight Male Friends Hug Each Other?

Wed Sep 14, 2005 2:15 pm

I don't see what the big deal is in hugging another guy, its not like you're giving him a blowjob or something.

In the Arab world you greet each with three kisses and I haven't felt weird doing that in the US either.
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airtran737
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RE: Two Straight Male Friends Hug Each Other?

Wed Sep 14, 2005 2:30 pm

Man on man hugging is acceptable. There can be no hip to hip region contact, and the hand must remain in a fist. Only two pats are allowed on the back.
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KL642
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RE: Two Straight Male Friends Hug Each Other?

Wed Sep 14, 2005 2:54 pm

I'm a straight male and whenever I make one of my trips back to NYC to see my friends its hugs all around. Nothing gay about it at all.
 
bill142
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RE: Two Straight Male Friends Hug Each Other?

Wed Sep 14, 2005 3:36 pm

Sure its fine. I don't hug my friends all the time, buts been known to happen.
 
flyAUA
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RE: Two Straight Male Friends Hug Each Other?

Wed Sep 14, 2005 4:21 pm

I see it happen all the time. If you're comfortable enough with your masculinity, there's nothing wrong with showing your feelings. A good old hug can work wonders and is worth MORE than a thousand words. Plus I have straight friends giving me hugs often. Some (of European descent - YES) even do the peck on each side of the cheek as a greeting. It's funny  Smile
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OYRJA
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RE: Two Straight Male Friends Hug Each Other?

Wed Sep 14, 2005 4:24 pm

Personally I have no problems with it at all.
Even if I'm straight I do it pretty often if its a friend I haven't seen for a long time.
And I don't have any problems hugging the male members in my family in public either if I haven't seen them for a while.
 
baylorairbear
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RE: Two Straight Male Friends Hug Each Other?

Wed Sep 14, 2005 4:36 pm

Quoting FlyboyOz (Thread starter):
Two Straight Male Friends Hug Each Other?

Only if you're fixing to die; and then only for effect.

BAB
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smitten
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RE: Two Straight Male Friends Hug Each Other?

Wed Sep 14, 2005 5:25 pm

My mates and I have always hugged (you know, the quick handshake with one hand and back slap with the other). There have never been any qualms about it, especially if it had been a while since we had seen eachother.
 
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HAWK21M
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RE: Two Straight Male Friends Hug Each Other?

Wed Sep 14, 2005 5:37 pm

Out here its common for Straight Males to Shake hands & a partial hug & a tap over the Back of the Shoulder.
regds
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JeffSFO
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RE: Two Straight Male Friends Hug Each Other?

Wed Sep 14, 2005 5:53 pm

It's funny, I was at the gym tonight and ran into a buddy I hadn't seen in a while. I just arrived and he was leaving but we caught up for a bit and he invited me to something he and his wife are going to on Thursday night. Anyway, when we were parting ways I shook his hand and then he gave me a 'dude-hug' (right shoulder to right shoulder--not a full embrace). It wasn't expected but I was flattered by the sentiment. Ultimately, who gives a shit anyway?

However, jockying for a urinal in a men's room is a totally different matter:  Wink

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kingsford
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RE: Two Straight Male Friends Hug Each Other?

Wed Sep 14, 2005 7:19 pm

Out here, hugging is not really done, straight or gay. It's just not our thing. Since in our small country we adapt easily to others, we have no problems hugging with foreigners if that's their thing where they come from.

I am always a bit shy hugging my partner in public here since in my country, men do not hug or hold hands in public without being considered gay really.

However in Turkey, I feel totally fine holding hands or holding my partner since men do that in these regions and it's perfectly fine.

However here it's become perfectly ok to kiss each other on the cheek (once)between straight male friends, even if we haven't known each other for long.

 crowded 
 
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ManuCH
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RE: Two Straight Male Friends Hug Each Other?

Wed Sep 14, 2005 8:19 pm

Hugging isn't something which is done in Switzerland. When male meets female you get 3 kisses (not on the mouth, that is Big grin). And normally when 2 males meet they never do the 3 kisses thing unless they're gay. At least, I've never seen anyone straight doing it. Too bad  Smile

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erikwilliam
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RE: Two Straight Male Friends Hug Each Other?

Wed Sep 14, 2005 8:25 pm

well, it´s pretty much peoples cultures right?
I do hug my friends, but not those that I see more, like 2-3 times a week.
And some I do kiss on the cheek, and since I´m arabic descendent, we do kiss on the cheek all the members of the family.
Not a problem here.
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aireuropeuk733
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RE: Two Straight Male Friends Hug Each Other?

Wed Sep 14, 2005 8:40 pm

I'm straight and I see nothing wrong with it - especially if you haven't seen/going to see someone for a while.

Also when you're drunk it stops you falling over  Wink

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PHLBOS
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RE: Two Straight Male Friends Hug Each Other?

Wed Sep 14, 2005 9:34 pm

Quoting Redngold (Reply 9):
I realized that they had shared a spiritual experience (a weekend Christian men's retreat) and that they were sharing a hug because they were happy to see each other.

If you've ever seen any videos of the Promise Keepers conferences (including the 1997 Stand in the Gap rally at DC), there are plenty of straight males hugging eachother for the same reason that you just described.

Quoting Erikwilliam (Reply 32):
well, it's pretty much peoples cultures right?

In many instances, it is indeed can be a culture thing.

Quoting ANCFlyer (Reply 13):
I have no problem with it . . . been there, done that . . . only homophobics have problems with that . . . for whatever reason.

My sentiments exactly. Although, like everything else, some levels of descretion and wisdom should be heeded. For example, I wouldn't advise anyone to hug a total stranger out of the blue who passes you while walking along the street. You might wake up in (as B.J. Hunnicut said in a M*A*S*H episode once) Fat-Lip Arizona.
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EGGD
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RE: Two Straight Male Friends Hug Each Other?

Wed Sep 14, 2005 9:41 pm

No I don't see much weird about it. Apart from if there is no real reason and you are serious about it. I hug people I know and my friends all the time, especially when i'm drunk or I get in to work. Usually it's a joke thing (one of us will jump on another or something similar) and I don't think there's anything wrong with it. I don't think i'd hug a friend if they were leaving though, or something bad had happened to them.
 
S12PPL
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RE: Two Straight Male Friends Hug Each Other?

Wed Sep 14, 2005 9:44 pm

Me and my best friend hug eachother if we havn't seen eachother for a while. Or, if the moment is "right" for it...You know, not a full on, two arm hug, but the one arm hug? Hard to describe, but the hand shake hug.
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pilotaydin
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RE: Two Straight Male Friends Hug Each Other?

Wed Sep 14, 2005 9:51 pm

Quoting SATX (Reply 5):
LOL! I don't hug other guys unless they just lost their mum or won an Olympic medal or something

I think people are very image conscious in the western world, i think they care more about what others think about them, than some countries such as mine or the middle east. Here in Turkey, we can even hold hands with another guy and we kiss cheek to cheek, i think that it's a natural thing to be able to do that to other men. Arabs like to hold hands more than we do, and it's considered totally natural.
I also think that a lot of people want to hug and i think it's shallow to put a condition on touching another man, be it mom dying, or being drunk...when you maturely look at the situation, it's still the same two people doing the same thing, are you going to explain to the whole world WHY you broke your rule and gave another male a hug ?
The only time there is too much fuel onboard, is when you're on fire!
 
satx
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RE: Two Straight Male Friends Hug Each Other?

Wed Sep 14, 2005 11:35 pm

Quoting Pilotaydin (Reply 37):
I think people are very image conscious in the western world, i think they care more about what others think about them, than some countries such as mine or the middle east.

Maybe, but be careful about reading too much into my post or assuming that I might somehow represent most folks in the western world. Also, just because I don't initiate hugs with guys who aren't family members doesn't mean that I think it's wrong or that I somehow disapprove of others who do it. I just don't happen to do it myself.

Quoting Pilotaydin (Reply 37):
i think it's shallow to put a condition on touching another man, be it mom dying, or being drunk.

I will never deny that I am indeed shallow, in at least some ways. Hopefully I'm not shallow where it matters most. I guess if I show up to some A.net meet only to witness some giant hug-fest in progress we'll know for sure once and for all.  Big grin
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Aleksandar
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RE: Two Straight Male Friends Hug Each Other?

Thu Sep 15, 2005 12:04 am

Quoting AirxLiban (Reply 20):
don't see what the big deal is in hugging another guy, its not like you're giving him a blowjob or something.

Exactly. Do you remember "Good Will Hunting" when Matt Damon asks his doctor if it's OK to hug him and doctor's answer "It's OK as long as you don't grab my ass".

Quoting AirxLiban (Reply 20):
In the Arab world you greet each with three kisses

Not just Arab countries. It is the same in Serbia (the whole Balkans in fact) and souther Europe. It became so much a part of life that you don't even think about it much and in occasions of some big gatherings one gets kissed and kisses for MAAANYY times.
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PHLBOS
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RE: Two Straight Male Friends Hug Each Other?

Thu Sep 15, 2005 12:07 am

Quoting Aleksandar (Reply 39):
It became so much a part of life that you don't even think about it much and in occasions of some big gatherings one gets kissed and kisses for MAAANYY times.

Probably NOT on the lips, though.
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Aleksandar
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RE: Two Straight Male Friends Hug Each Other?

Thu Sep 15, 2005 12:15 am

Quoting PHLBOS (Reply 40):
Probably NOT on the lips, though.

No, on the cheek.
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SlamClick
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RE: Two Straight Male Friends Hug Each Other?

Thu Sep 15, 2005 12:17 am

I think it was cultural. The dominant figure in my family when I was very young was my paternal grandfather, a dour Scottish gentleman who was not very demonstrative and would never be considered cuddly by anyone. My family was not very demonstrative. I had to learn to be a hugger from my mother-in-law.

Now I have some very old friends who would feel awkward and probably be embarassed if I tried to shake hands with them. The greeting hug is just natural. I have some friends who would be horrified if I tried to hug them. That is okay, I know who they are; grab right hand, shake twice, drop.

Absolutely nothing gay about a guy hugging a guy friend.

However: There is absolutely NO REASON for a straight man to drive a Miata!
Just kidding.  Smile
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ANCFlyer
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RE: Two Straight Male Friends Hug Each Other?

Thu Sep 15, 2005 12:44 am

Quoting SATX (Reply 38):
I will never deny that I am indeed shallow,

This is too good to pass up! Read it again! Say it with me now!  rotfl 
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scamp
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RE: Two Straight Male Friends Hug Each Other?

Thu Sep 15, 2005 12:48 am

Quoting MD-90 (Reply 18):
Whatever starts your tractor.

Okay, well this is a new one for me. I gotta remember it.

As a gay male, I have often hugged straight guys...and I don't see anything wrong with hugging straight guys. They're people, too. Often aesthetically challenged, and having the social graces of a baboon, but people nonetheless. I see nothing wrong with hugging them whatever. As for hugging each other, well, I'd rather they do that then pulling out their weapons and shooting each other...as they seem to prefer to do.
If it pisses off the right, I'm all for it.
 
satx
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RE: Two Straight Male Friends Hug Each Other?

Thu Sep 15, 2005 1:11 am

Quoting ANCFlyer (Reply 43):
This is too good to pass up!

I'd say 'enjoy' but it looks like you're already having enough fun with this.  Big grin
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Marambio
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RE: Two Straight Male Friends Hug Each Other?

Thu Sep 15, 2005 1:27 am

Here in Argentina both hugging and kissing between straight males is accepted and has become popular, especially among the younger generations.

For instance, I do kiss my friends, both male and female, on their cheeck every morning when I meet them. There is no problem about it. Of course some people stick with the old "hand" rule, but that's up to each one. Personally I couldn't care less. Hugging is also important, but it is done when you meet a friend you haven't seen for a certain period of time.

I guess this is something very Argentine, as I haven't seen it anywhere else in the world and foreigners are usually surprised with it.

Saludos,
Marambio
Aerolíneas Argentinas - La Argentina que levanta vuelo
 
MD-90
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RE: Two Straight Male Friends Hug Each Other?

Thu Sep 15, 2005 1:48 am

Quoting Kingsford (Reply 30):
I am always a bit shy hugging my partner in public here since in my country, men do not hug or hold hands in public without being considered gay really.

But if you are gay...then...what's wrong with that?

Quoting Scamp (Reply 44):
Okay, well this is a new one for me. I gotta remember it.

Actually it should be cranks your tractor, now that I think about it. It's a Southern thing. The other popular one I hear is "whatever cracks your walnut."
 
saigonhouston
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RE: Two Straight Male Friends Hug Each Other?

Thu Sep 15, 2005 2:07 am

Quoting SATX (Reply 8):
I've seen strait guys hugging, holding hands, and with their arms on each others shoulders all over the world, but in the US this is generally considered as something mainly gay guys do

Yep, I agreed. So, lighting up US people and especially those religious people in out there.

I think nothing wrong with a hugs and it normal for most part of country (i.e. Europe and South America)

saigonhouston
 
scamp
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RE: Two Straight Male Friends Hug Each Other?

Thu Sep 15, 2005 3:24 am

Quoting MD-90 (Reply 47):
Actually it should be cranks your tractor, now that I think about it. It's a Southern thing. The other popular one I hear is "whatever cracks your walnut."

I guess I've been away from the south a long time. Having been born and reared there, I'd never heard it. It's funny nevertheless. As for "cracks your walnut" that's not as funny. But, that's just me.
If it pisses off the right, I'm all for it.

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