gordonsmall
Posts: 2106
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British Citizenship - Take The (un)official Test!

Mon Oct 31, 2005 7:16 pm

Found this on the BBC news site whilst bored at work.

Apparently these questions are based on the offical "textbook" for the "british-ness" test which you now have to sit if you want to become a british citizen.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/4099770.stm
Statistically, people who have had the most birthdays tend to live the longest.
 
gordonsmall
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RE: British Citizenship - Take The (un)official Test!

Mon Oct 31, 2005 7:21 pm

The funniest thing I've read in ages has to be this question.  Smile

Life in the UK explains what to do if you spill someone's pint in the pub (we're not making this up). What, according to the book, usually happens next?

A: You would offer to buy the person another pint
B: You would offer to dry their wet shirt with your own
C: You may need to prepare for a fight in the car park
Statistically, people who have had the most birthdays tend to live the longest.
 
Banco
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RE: British Citizenship - Take The (un)official Test!

Mon Oct 31, 2005 7:22 pm

I do believe we had this one a while back.
She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.
 
BA380
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RE: British Citizenship - Take The (un)official Test!

Mon Oct 31, 2005 7:58 pm

forunately, I scored eleven, so I will not have to be deported (to where?) this afternoon...
cabin crew: doors to automatic and cross-check...
 
Thorben
Posts: 2713
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RE: British Citizenship - Take The (un)official Test!

Mon Oct 31, 2005 7:58 pm

Well, I got 9 out of 15 right. You should be glad that I'm CCTV-allergic, otherwise I might come over.
France 1789; Eastern Germany 1989; Tunisia 2011; Egypt 2011
 
MYT332
Posts: 7283
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RE: British Citizenship - Take The (un)official Test!

Mon Oct 31, 2005 8:05 pm

Quoting Thorben (Reply 4):
You should be glad that I'm CCTV-allergic, otherwise I might come over.

CCTV? Hmm is that what we're calling the English Channel today.

 white 
One Life, Live it.
 
jwenting
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RE: British Citizenship - Take The (un)official Test!

Mon Oct 31, 2005 8:09 pm

Quoting Gordonsmall (Reply 1):
A: You would offer to buy the person another pint
B: You would offer to dry their wet shirt with your own
C: You may need to prepare for a fight in the car park

All of the above?
I wish I were flying
 
gkirk
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RE: British Citizenship - Take The (un)official Test!

Mon Oct 31, 2005 8:12 pm

Block up the channel tunnel and refuse permission for any foreigners to move here.
Enough of the bloody foreign gits as there is...
When you hear the noise of the Tartan Army Boys, we'll be coming down the road!
 
MYT332
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RE: British Citizenship - Take The (un)official Test!

Mon Oct 31, 2005 8:16 pm

Quoting Gkirk (Reply 7):
Enough of the bloody foreign gits as there is...

I say reinstate Hadrian's Wall. It can be sponsored by Alitalia.
One Life, Live it.
 
NoUFO
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RE: British Citizenship - Take The (un)official Test!

Mon Oct 31, 2005 8:26 pm

But, but Kirkie ... there are so many continentals who like to enjoy Scotland ... "England's beautiful north"Big grin
I support the right to arm bears
 
jafa39
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RE: British Citizenship - Take The (un)official Test!

Mon Oct 31, 2005 8:59 pm

I got 11, let's hope I can do as well in my NZ citizenship test next year.

1: What beer do "Southern Men" drink?

2: Where was the pie sandwich invented?

3: Helen Clark is...............................

4: "Kia Ora" means:
a "Who you lookin' at?
b G'day
c My hovercraft is full of eels

5: When asked for a "Computer Disc" how do you know whether to give the person an item of furniture or a CD Rom?

6: "The All Blacks" are a Reggae Band, True or False?

7: Ford or Holden?

8: The controversial tackle on O'Driscoll during the Lions Tour was:
a No biggie, get over it
b A filthy disgusting show of bad Rugby
c Tough on the Poms for only having 2 decent players

9: Salmonella Dub is:
a A disease caused by eating Wendy Burgers
b A Reggae Dub combo
c The method used to add the soundtrack to LOR films

10: How many Kiwi's live in Earl's Court in London?
a Too many
b As many as there are jobs in pubs
c 5,009

You only need to get Q8 right to get a Kiwi Passport.
We, the undersigned, do hereby consent.....
 
QANTASforever
Posts: 5794
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RE: British Citizenship - Take The (un)official Test!

Mon Oct 31, 2005 9:06 pm

5 for me.

Quoting Jafa39 (Reply 10):
I got 11

aha!

QFF
Fighting for the glory of the Australian Republic.
 
Banco
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RE: British Citizenship - Take The (un)official Test!

Mon Oct 31, 2005 9:21 pm

Quoting Gkirk (Reply 7):
Block up the channel tunnel and refuse permission for any foreigners to move here

Would such a policy, instituted over millennia, not mean that the population of the UK would be precisely zero? Big grin

Of course, that would have given the French a 50/50 chance of a successful invasion.  Wink
She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.
 
MYT332
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RE: British Citizenship - Take The (un)official Test!

Mon Oct 31, 2005 9:26 pm

Quoting Banco (Reply 12):
Would such a policy, instituted over millennia, not mean that the population of the UK would be precisely zero?

Nah we'd still sadly have the neanderthals from the last Ice age who moved over before the ice melted and created the channel.

Thus, we'd still have GKirk.
One Life, Live it.
 
BigOrange
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RE: British Citizenship - Take The (un)official Test!

Tue Nov 01, 2005 12:10 am

I got 10 right.

Try the US one..http://uscis.gov/graphics/exec/natz/natztest.asp

exactly the reason for me waiting a while before I claim naturalization.
 
pilot kaz
Posts: 4591
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RE: British Citizenship - Take The (un)official Test!

Tue Nov 01, 2005 12:26 am

You got 7 right!

0-5: Seat in Heathrow arrivals....
6-10: Seat on the district council......
11-13: Seat in Parliament.....
14: Seat on the throne

 Wow! everyone knows I belong on the throne!  Wink
-
 
Pe@rson
Posts: 16004
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RE: British Citizenship - Take The (un)official Test!

Tue Nov 01, 2005 12:32 am

I got 11 right. I am quite surprised about that. I am now Lord Pearson, what with a seat in parliament.
"Everyone writing for the Telegraph knows that the way to grab eyeballs is with Ryanair and/or sex."
 
TheSorcerer
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RE: British Citizenship - Take The (un)official Test!

Tue Nov 01, 2005 1:31 am

Quoting Gkirk (Reply 7):
Block up the channel tunnel and refuse permission for any foreigners to move here.

Ever heard of something called a plane?

Quoting NoUFO (Reply 9):
Scotland ... "England's beautiful north

LOL that really is the wrong thing to say to a Scottish person. Big grin

The Sorcerer
ALITALIA,All Landings In Torino, All Luggage In Athens ;)
 
halls120
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RE: British Citizenship - Take The (un)official Test!

Tue Nov 01, 2005 2:12 am

I only got 7 right. Sad

On the other hand, I did get the pub question right!!!
"Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself." Mark Twain, a Biography
 
jwenting
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RE: British Citizenship - Take The (un)official Test!

Tue Nov 01, 2005 2:18 am

Quoting Banco (Reply 12):
Would such a policy, instituted over millennia, not mean that the population of the UK would be precisely zero?

Of course, that would have given the French a 50/50 chance of a successful invasion.

Even a population of zero in the opposing country would not give the French any chance of a military victory against it.
They'd probably surrender to a wild boar or be slaughtered by a nest of rabbits  Smile
I wish I were flying
 
jwenting
Posts: 9973
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RE: British Citizenship - Take The (un)official Test!

Tue Nov 01, 2005 2:22 am

Got 7 right, but I guess I was too cynical in answering the questions, using answers I knew to be fact rather than ones that book would have liked to see  Smile
I wish I were flying
 
gkirk
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RE: British Citizenship - Take The (un)official Test!

Tue Nov 01, 2005 2:23 am

Quoting Jwenting (Reply 19):

Even a population of zero in the opposing country would not give the French any chance of a military victory against it.
They'd probably surrender to a wild boar or be slaughtered by a nest of rabbits Smile

I can see it now:

Breaking News: France surrenders to army of Squirrels!


 rotfl 
When you hear the noise of the Tartan Army Boys, we'll be coming down the road!
 
Logan22L
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RE: British Citizenship - Take The (un)official Test!

Tue Nov 01, 2005 2:32 am

Quoting Gkirk (Reply 21):
I can see it now:

Breaking News: France surrenders to army of Squirrels!

And on the classifieds page: For Sale - French military rifles. Good condition, only dropped once.
"The deeper you go, the higher you fly. The higher you fly, the deeper you go."
 
ME AVN FAN
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RE: British Citizenship - Take The (un)official Test!

Tue Nov 01, 2005 2:35 am

Quoting Gordonsmall (Thread starter):
these questions are based on the offical "textbook

You got 5 right!
0-5: Seat in Heathrow arrivals.... 6-10: Seat on the district council......11-13: Seat in Parliament.....14: Seat on the throne
 
lentigomaligna
Posts: 438
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RE: British Citizenship - Take The (un)official Test!

Tue Nov 01, 2005 2:44 am

9 right, most by complete guessing; guess that's decent for being an American (despite my citizenship in another country of the Commonwealth)

Quoting BigOrange (Reply 14):
Try the US one..http://uscis.gov/graphics/exec/natz/natztest.asp

Oh dear god.

[Edited 2005-10-31 18:47:51]
 
Banco
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RE: British Citizenship - Take The (un)official Test!

Tue Nov 01, 2005 3:08 am

Quoting Gkirk (Reply 21):
I can see it now:

Breaking News: France surrenders to army of Squirrels!

Red squirrels at that, having unfortunately chosen to make their landing on the Isle of Wight.  Wink
She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.
 
cornish
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RE: British Citizenship - Take The (un)official Test!

Tue Nov 01, 2005 3:18 am

Quoting Gkirk (Reply 21):
can see it now:

Breaking News: France surrenders to army of Squirrels!

The French then surrender their own country to the squirrels, half of the population agreeing to collaborate. A seperate province known as Bushy France is created  Wink
Just when I thought I could see light at the end of the tunnel, it was some B*****d with a torch bringing me more work
 
Banco
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RE: British Citizenship - Take The (un)official Test!

Tue Nov 01, 2005 3:28 am

Quoting Cornish (Reply 26):
The French then surrender their own country to the squirrels, half of the population agreeing to collaborate. A seperate province known as Bushy France is created

Under Marshal Pitkin (well, near enough).  Wink
She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.
 
ltbewr
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RE: British Citizenship - Take The (un)official Test!

Tue Nov 01, 2005 3:46 am

Made it to 'district counsel' level (8+). Not bad for a 'yankee'. Guess my visits to the UK have paid off.
 
Banco
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RE: British Citizenship - Take The (un)official Test!

Tue Nov 01, 2005 3:54 am

Quoting LTBEWR (Reply 28):
Made it to 'district counsel' level (8+). Not bad for a 'yankee'. Guess my visits to the UK have paid off.

Your grade is hereby promptly revoked for confusing a governmental position with a legal one. Back to the States with you!  Wink
She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.
 
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jetjack74
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RE: British Citizenship - Take The (un)official Test!

Tue Nov 01, 2005 4:14 am

You got 9 right!
0-5: Seat in Heathrow arrivals.... 6-10: Seat on the district council......11-13: Seat in Parliament.....14: Seat on the throne

Well i'm glad I did well.
Made from jets!
 
cornish
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RE: British Citizenship - Take The (un)official Test!

Tue Nov 01, 2005 4:15 am

Quoting Banco (Reply 27):
Quoting Cornish (Reply 26):
The French then surrender their own country to the squirrels, half of the population agreeing to collaborate. A seperate province known as Bushy France is created

Under Marshal Pitkin (well, near enough).

The squirrels give up on the country finding there are simply no balls/nuts to be found on any Frenchman  Wink
Just when I thought I could see light at the end of the tunnel, it was some B*****d with a torch bringing me more work
 
ME AVN FAN
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Joined: Fri May 31, 2002 12:05 am

RE: British Citizenship - Take The (un)official Test!

Tue Nov 01, 2005 4:17 am

Quoting LTBEWR (Reply 28):
my visits to the UK have paid off

while mine have NOT ! neither attending lessons in London for 3 months or the Cambridge Proficiency Exam ! only sufficient for a "seat at LHR"  scratchchin 
 weeping 
 
Banco
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RE: British Citizenship - Take The (un)official Test!

Tue Nov 01, 2005 4:24 am

Quoting ME AVN FAN (Reply 32):
only sufficient for a "seat at LHR

Congratulations! You're now a fully qualified Immigration Officer. Big grin
She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.
 
jafa39
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RE: British Citizenship - Take The (un)official Test!

Tue Nov 01, 2005 6:19 am

Quoting Pilot kaz (Reply 15):
everyone knows I belong on the throne!

There are bigger Queens than you on a.net!  Smile
We, the undersigned, do hereby consent.....
 
trekster
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RE: British Citizenship - Take The (un)official Test!

Tue Nov 01, 2005 6:37 am

You got 11 right!
0-5: Seat in Heathrow arrivals.... 6-10: Seat on the district council......11-13: Seat in Parliament.....14: Seat on the throne


cool
Where does the time go???
 
ME AVN FAN
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RE: British Citizenship - Take The (un)official Test!

Wed Nov 02, 2005 12:18 am

Quoting Banco (Reply 33):
a fully qualified Immigration Officer

You mean one of those persons looking down at you from their very HIGH seats at LHR ? not too bad then !  wave 
 
Banco
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RE: British Citizenship - Take The (un)official Test!

Wed Nov 02, 2005 2:11 am

Quoting ME AVN FAN (Reply 36):
You mean one of those persons looking down at you from their very HIGH seats at LHR ?

And it has never occurred to you why that might be? They're incapable of getting down man!  Yeah sure Wake up!  Wink
She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.
 
Mexicana757
Posts: 2635
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RE: British Citizenship - Take The (un)official Test!

Wed Nov 02, 2005 3:05 am

I got 8 right!! Woohoo! UK look out here I come.  hyper 
 
ME AVN FAN
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RE: British Citizenship - Take The (un)official Test!

Wed Nov 02, 2005 3:46 am

Quoting Banco (Reply 37):
They're incapable of getting down man!

no doubt about this ! most customs officials are like that ! BUT are supposed to know their country -- so what.
-
You see, that they ranked lowest in the explanation of course revealed their status in your country !
 
ME AVN FAN
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RE: British Citizenship - Take The (un)official Test!

Wed Nov 02, 2005 3:52 am

You got 8 right!
0-5: Seat in Heathrow arrivals.... 6-10: Seat on the district council......11-13: Seat in Parliament.....14: Seat on the throne
-
well, tried it again, and was more successful -- and AFTER having done the re-trial realized that they give the answers below, which I had not seen the first time as having been a bit shocked
 
skidmarks
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RE: British Citizenship - Take The (un)official Test!

Wed Nov 02, 2005 4:21 am

I'm scared to even try it!!!!!!!!!!!!!  scared 

Andy  old 
Growing old is compulsory, growing up is optional
 
RobertNL070
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RE: British Citizenship - Take The (un)official Test!

Wed Nov 02, 2005 4:34 am

You got 12 right!
0-5: Seat in Heathrow arrivals.... 6-10: Seat on the district council......11-13: Seat in Parliament.....14: Seat on the throne

That's a dubious honour.

Regards, Robert (not so ex ex-pat)  bouncy 
Youth is a gift of nature. Age is a work of art.
 
Alias1024
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RE: British Citizenship - Take The (un)official Test!

Wed Nov 02, 2005 5:30 am

I got 9. Not too bad for being a foreigner.

Quoting BigOrange (Reply 14):
Try the US one..http://uscis.gov/graphics/exec/natz/natztest.asp

Most of the questions on the US one weren't too bad if you are from the US. I can see many being difficult for a foreigner though. There are some bizzare ones like what form you need to file to apply for naturalization. Also, which of the following amendments to the Constitution doesn't deal with voting. (I think I know maybe one person who wouldn't have to guess at this one). That said, I still got 40 in a row correct.
It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems with just potatoes.
 
silverfox
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Joined: Thu Mar 15, 2001 8:39 am

RE: British Citizenship - Take The (un)official Test!

Wed Nov 02, 2005 6:09 am

One for football lovers

sign seens at the recent Spurs v Arsenal game

The English havent been scared of French gunners since 1805

Brilliant wit
 
WiLdmanVzla
Posts: 590
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RE: British Citizenship - Take The (un)official Test!

Wed Nov 02, 2005 11:00 am

You got 12 right!
0-5: Seat in Heathrow arrivals.... 6-10: Seat on the district council......11-13: Seat in Parliament.....14: Seat on the throne

thanks God!!!!!!! I'm republican (not the US party by the way!!!!!!!!!!!!)

*******
 
AsstChiefMark
Posts: 10465
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RE: British Citizenship - Take The (un)official Test!

Wed Nov 02, 2005 11:34 am

You got 14 right!
0-5: Seat in Heathrow arrivals.... 6-10: Seat on the district council......11-13: Seat in Parliament.....14: Seat on the throne

WOOHOO!!! Those were easy!  Smile

Mark
Red tail...Red tail...Red tail...Red tail...Red tail...Red tail...Red tail...Red tail...Damned MSP...Red tail...Red tail
 
LH423
Posts: 5868
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RE: British Citizenship - Take The (un)official Test!

Thu Nov 03, 2005 2:58 am

6 correct. Now, where should I run as councillor?  Smile

LH423
« On ne voit bien qu'avec le cœur. L'essentiel est invisible pour les yeux » Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
 
eilennaei
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RE: British Citizenship - Take The (un)official Test!

Thu Nov 03, 2005 4:53 am

11, mistook on dog collar, divorce, solicitors.
 
aer lingus
Posts: 367
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RE: British Citizenship - Take The (un)official Test!

Thu Nov 03, 2005 6:03 pm

I only got 5 questions right. So I got a seat in the Heathrow Arrivals. I don't think I am going to do the test again because I know the answers already after the test. Unless they have other different questions I would have done the test again.

Well thanks for Gordonsmall for this British citizenship (un)official Test URL.  Cool
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